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#AsexualProblems

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Laplace

When you just want to shoot psychos as a non-binary robot in Borderlands 3 but you have to instead listen to some weird perv constantly make disgusting advances toward you in a battle royale side quest. At least you’re explicitly encouraged to shoot him in the nads when you finally meet him. 

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randomality
On 9/14/2019 at 5:32 PM, ElasticPlanet said:

Er... so that's age 10 or 11 right? You got taught that at that age? I could swear I was more like 13 by the time we were taught about that stuff. And they spent so long talking about STI prevention without ever explaining what contraceptives were actually for - they just assumed we'd all heard that sex could be for fun and not just for making babies... Well I certainly hadn't.

Well that came with the whole "You're going into middle school and your bodies will be changing and you'll be hearing more about this stuff" thing so I think they wanted to give us the most basic info possible before we left...

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Laplace

Man I’m pissed. This is a major spoiler for Borderlands 3:

Maya, a confirmed asexual character, got killed.

I’m gonna turn the villains into pasta sauce with a weapon with an ace color scheme. Preferably one with twin mini-gun barrels with double drum magazines.

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Sun444

I have such a huge irrational fear of sending the wrong signals, makes me overanalyze almost every interaction i have with my female friends.

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Bronztrooper
1 hour ago, Laplace said:

Man I’m pissed. This is a major spoiler for Borderlands 3:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Maya, a confirmed asexual character, got killed.

 

I’m gonna turn the villains into pasta sauce with a weapon with an ace color scheme. Preferably one with twin mini-gun barrels with double drum magazines.

 

Wait, so Borderlands gets a confirmed ace character before any Bioware game???????

 

Like, ok, yeah, she gets killed, but WTF?  I'd thought Bioware was ahead of the curve with representation, yet the closest we've gotten is a character that's a spirit with the potential to become human, and even then it's ambiguous whether he's ace or not.

 

Ugh, I just find that unreasonably frustrating

 

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Hermit Advocate

Again with the "don't worry, you'll want kids someday," crap every time the conversation turns to having children and I say I don't want kids. 

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PittAce92
On 9/6/2019 at 6:45 PM, Aloney said:

series or movies or books with people I like, getting together, but... My own life..???

I can attest to this with my own personal experience of my feelings on my own. Friends are important, but that is all I really care for.

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PittAce92
On 9/12/2019 at 8:41 PM, A.J14 said:

Me when I analyze my feelings every time I see someone aesthetically pleasing

 

bcf.png?w=680&ssl=1

 

#AsexualProblems

 

On 9/13/2019 at 12:53 AM, i.r3beka said:

I love that meme! Me trying to figure out where my paycheck went! Also, sidebar, does anyone know what type of math the third picture is? The first, second, and last look like geometry, but I don’t know what the function dx / cos^2x stuff is. Just curious!

 

On 9/13/2019 at 4:33 PM, nerdperson777 said:

Integrals.  It's in calculus.  It's considered college level math, if you ever come across it.  I never really paid attention to what the formulas were until now.

1. Area and circumference of a circle

2. Volume of a cone and a cylinder

3. (left) 30-60-90 triangles and their length ratios

 (right) Integrals of some common trigonometric functions

4. (left) Graph of a tangent function in radians

 (right) Solving the quadratic formula for x

Not to get off any topic, but all of this in general made my day (seeing this through the Electrical Engineering curriculum!)! :) 

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PittAce92
3 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Again with the "don't worry, you'll want kids someday," crap every time the conversation turns to having children and I say I don't want kids. 

It sure does get old... <_<

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Poe's Creep Meta
15 hours ago, Sun444 said:

I have such a huge irrational fear of sending the wrong signals, makes me overanalyze almost every interaction i have with my female friends.

I have a similar issue. Sometimes, instead of being oblivious, I'm hyperaware of anything that could be interpreted as sexual - even if it's really far-fetched - and end up being repulsed by and avoiding those things, sometimes absurdly. Guess I'm just too ace for my own good. 

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randomality
On 9/10/2019 at 8:06 PM, Pheedre said:

Lol I'm notorious for listening to songs and not even hearing the lyrics lol

Same here for example "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen. I played it in a halftime show one year and thought "Hey this song is awesome!" but then one day I heard the second verse and thought "Oh wait..."

Edited by randomality
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Darth Plagueis the Wise
15 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

I have a similar issue. Sometimes, instead of being oblivious, I'm hyperaware of anything that could be interpreted as sexual - even if it's really far-fetched - and end up being repulsed by and avoiding those things, sometimes absurdly. Guess I'm just too ace for my own good. 

I’ve just gone with the mindset that if I don’t know what something is and everyone around me knows what it is, that it’s most likely sex related in some way, shape, or form.

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AmyA

People not believing you and telling you to 'go and see a therapist to talk about the real meaning of asexuality'. Like? I'm asexual, I know what it means. Why don't you go and talk to a therapist byyeee.

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SupercalifragilisticNugget
On 9/17/2019 at 10:12 PM, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

I’ve just gone with the mindset that if I don’t know what something is and everyone around me knows what it is, that it’s most likely sex related in some way, shape, or form.

This is so true. 😅 And then you’re faced with the decision of asking what it is and regretting it afterward, or not asking and remaining curious but unscathed. 

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nerdperson777
On 9/15/2019 at 5:53 AM, i.r3beka said:

You must be a genius then, because chemistry stopped being easy for me when it started to involve math. I tried taking it in high school but dropped it. I love the idea of chemistry, of knowing what molecules mix with that to give you what, of being able to divine the properties of something given it’s chemical composition or structure {ex. I’ve heard tungsten carbide is the way it is because of its octagonal structure, I think}. But then the math killed it for me. I was ok with the balancing equations part, but when it got to things like “you have X grams of Y that has a molar mass of X and blah blah blah” my head exploded. I followed what I thought were the steps but I was always wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️.

 

unfortunately for me, I wanted to go into psychology, but the statistics killed me there too. It took me forever to get the standard deviation, and things got worse from there. I just can’t understand math. I just can’t, it is a physical impossibility that make my head hurt. Trying to understand math for me feels like I’ve been dropped on an island with nothing but a bunch toothpicks, and the “how to build a raft with toothpicks” manual is in Mandarin.

Well, I'm no good at social situations, only know very little about most topics, except a few.  Math and chemistry just happens to be the academic subjects I'm good at.  I wouldn't be able to write a good essay even if I tried my best.  Math led me through chemistry, but who knows what would happen if I took those higher chemistry classes.  I probably don't remember much of that anymore either.

 

On 9/16/2019 at 6:41 PM, PittAce92 said:

Not to get off any topic, but all of this in general made my day (seeing this through the Electrical Engineering curriculum!)! :) 

Good luck with that!  I dropped out early since I couldn't understand the classes.  I retook the first two and got a decent grade but everything after, I was not going to pass any of those the first time.  I wasn't feeling it anymore and didn't want to be in school for 6 years.  I was also in a depression at the time so I actually barely passed my actual major.

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Barbio

This is more #QueerProblemsInGeneral, but:

 

Grandma: "Do you have a boyfriend yet?"

Me, for the umpteenth time: "No, and I probably never will. I'm just not into boys."

Grandma: "Well, you're still young; you've still got time to find the right fella. I don't think your uncle is ever going to find a girlfriend... I guess as long as he doesn't get a boyfriend, that's ok."

Me, internally: AAAAAUGH WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO IMPLY HERE?!?! 

 

Probably just as well that I'm not out to her, if that's her reaction to her own son being a 50+ year celibate.

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Purple_Panda

I think I have a problem and I’m hoping to get some input here, because I didn’t get any when I posted it somewhere else. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place for this. 

 

Wednesday evening, a friend of mine texted me out of the blue and said she wanted to set me up with someone else she knows. I didn’t ask her to do this at all and it was a surprise, but my brain, because she wanted to play “matchmaker” immediately went to sexual things, and I can’t do that, so I think I scared her because I wasn’t really responding besides saying “thank you for thinking of me” and such. 

 

I told her I would think about it, but haven’t answered her yet and I’m not sure what to do. 

 

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Strange_Charms
1 hour ago, Purple_Panda said:

I think I have a problem and I’m hoping to get some input here, because I didn’t get any when I posted it somewhere else. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place for this. 

 

Wednesday evening, a friend of mine texted me out of the blue and said she wanted to set me up with someone else she knows. I didn’t ask her to do this at all and it was a surprise, but my brain, because she wanted to play “matchmaker” immediately went to sexual things, and I can’t do that, so I think I scared her because I wasn’t really responding besides saying “thank you for thinking of me” and such. 

 

I told her I would think about it, but haven’t answered her yet and I’m not sure what to do. 

 

If you're not interested, then the best thing to do would just be to tell her that you're not looking for a relationship/date/etc. and that you're, well, not interested. And then you can thank her for thinking of you. If it's not what you want though, you need to be forward about it, don't feel obliged to anything just because a friend set it up. Your well being comes first!

 

Hope this helps. :)

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Purple_Panda

@Strange_Charms, thank you. 

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Laplace

I’m relieved no one has tried to set me up with someone. My friends know that any attempt at matchmaking would just end in disaster cause I’m just too unreceptive to romance. It’d just be a cringe-fest for them as I systematically ignore any signals being sent out. Plus my true personality is also just too much of an acquired taste for sparks to fly from a single interaction.

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Sammyxxyo

Hi I just made an account here. I don’t really know if I should post here or not(first time here) but I’ve always been confused about asexuality. I’ve read different things about it so I’m not really sure if I am or I’m just weird. I’m not open to talking about sexuality so I figured maybe I could here. If I’m in the wrong section could someone tell me where I could go to ask for clarity and to share my story.

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SkyenAutowegCaptain

@Sammyxxyo welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂

 

The usual place to make an introduction is Welcome Lounge. 

Questions about Asexuality may be useful as well 

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I'm No One

Sometimes I forget that just because I'm not sexually attracted to other people it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not attracted to me. I typically don't pick up on it when someone is flirting with me.

For example: I remember one time I was on a trip with my church youth group, I was sitting on this loveseat and one of the boys decided to sit next to me. One of the girls saw us and squeezed inbetween us. At that point I decided it was too crowded on the loveseat so I sat somewhere else. It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I was thinking about it that I realized what was going on.

 

In short, it once took me about 15 years to realize that this guy liked me.🤣

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I'm No One

.

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Zagadka

Being oblivious to flirtation is an epidemic. 15 years is a pretty good timeline for realizing what the hell is happening around you 😉

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I'm No One
On 8/23/2019 at 2:13 PM, starweb said:

I write fanfiction but can’t write smut.  (That reads like an  introduction to a support group).

 

I’m not repulsed.  I’m sex indifferent, or sex-neutral.

 

I don’t mean I find it difficult.  I find it difficult to write angst, but if I spend time on it and concentrate, I can do it, but for smut, I got nothing.

 

When I reach that point in the story, I look out the window, eat a snack, take a drink, check twitter…I can write romance, I write a couple cuddling, and non-sexual intimacy, everything else but smut because my mind will not stay focused. I’ll look at the screen and at what I’ve written, the couple is in bed, and then think about what I should eat for lunch. I eat lunch and come back and the couple is still just laying there…waiting to do something. I have them make out and say sweet things to each other and then notice the room needs a clean.

 

People have told me to read what others have written, but it doesn’t stick. I either skip them over them or just cannot remember those scenes after I’ve read them. I found out that’s not all that unusual with asexual writers, although I have heard of some who can do it, and do it well. I’m just not one of them.

 

I get positive feedback, so there are people who like what I've done...despite it being fanfiction with no smut.

I actually don't like reading smut in fanfiction, (i prefer fluff) and on occasion if I do come across it I usually just skim over those parts

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Lifesaver

My coworkers keep telling me that I am flirting with other staff at work.

 

 

I don't think I am? I try to be friendly, but who knows now

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i.r3beka
9 minutes ago, Lifesaver said:

My coworkers keep telling me that I am flirting with other staff at work.

 

 

I don't think I am? I try to be friendly, but who knows now

I’ve been “accused” of that before, but not in a disciplinary or bad way. I was actually being jokingly mean to my boss once because he was being rude and he said “are you hitting on me?”

 

Because I guess being  jokingly mean to people is considered flirtatious? Allos are confusing 

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Bio 7
14 hours ago, I'm No One said:

Sometimes I forget that just because I'm not sexually attracted to other people it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not attracted to me. I typically don't pick up on it when someone is flirting with me.

For example: I remember one time I was on a trip with my church youth group, I was sitting on this loveseat and one of the boys decided to sit next to me. One of the girls saw us and squeezed inbetween us. At that point I decided it was too crowded on the loveseat so I sat somewhere else. It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I was thinking about it that I realized what was going on.

 

In short, it once took me about 15 years to realize that this guy liked me.🤣

At least I can be fairly certain nobody will be attracted to me, for various reasons.

I don’t get why they both had to sit next to you. Was she trying to get in his way? All it did was make things awkward.

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Laplace
7 hours ago, Lifesaver said:

My coworkers keep telling me that I am flirting with other staff at work.

 

 

I don't think I am? I try to be friendly, but who knows now

I’ve let quite a few coworkers know that I just don’t get romance in general. I just want a way to have like one of those digital overlay/sci-fi profile page thingies that appears over my head or something that states stuff like, “Does not understand romance. Is incapable of flirting.” It’d just prevent misunderstandings altogether.

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