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firebird8

Oh! I remember this bizarre thing that happened to me when I was about 15. Someone, an older woman but I can't remember how we knew her, decided that what she really needed to do was gift me secondhand lingerie. She gave it to my mother who for some reason also thought this was a wonderful idea, and made me to try it on. Seriously. Also bizarre: it was some kind of like see through white gauzy material, just sort of a big sheet of it with a neck hole. I've never seen anything like as lingerie since; I think I've seen some (usually opaque) cheap rain coats and wearable blankets on a similar design. My mother had this attitude lie this was a once in a lifetime opportunity (were the sex shops going out of business forever?) and I have no idea how I convinced her not to accept the monstrosity on my behalf. Or maybe she did keep it (shudder). 

 

Ick. I haven't thought about that in years. 

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Bronztrooper
2 hours ago, Strifed said:

LOL omg but why fight you over it?? 😂 and yeah, I think so too: it's an insecurity or almost narcissistic thing. I feel like most men are not that way (i've just been unlucky sksks), but some of these guys need to be taught or told they don't "own" a girl. Just because a guy likes someone they need to realize that this isn't a disney movie or some cheesy romance movie. You don't go around being mean/a "bad guy" and beating up other dudes for a girl and expect her to fall in your lap. She's gonna go "red flag!" and run lol. No one wants to date someone that's potentially abusive or controlling like that 🙄

I guess some stupid attempt to 'assert his dominance' or something like that.  Apparently he'd asked my then-gf to the dance before I did and she turned him down (I'd been friends with her for a while before I asked her to the dance, which, tbh, was kind of out of the ordinary for me (the asking her to the dance part, I mean)), so I guess he had some lingering resentment over it and it ended up getting directed at me.

 

I'm pretty sure that the guys I tend to be friends with aren't that kind of guy, but I tend to gravitate more towards girls because they tend to be much less likely to be assholes (and they generally don't talk about sex much, if at all- at least, the ones I generally talk to don't) in my experience.

 

This also bring me to the whole thing about how in school, if a kid that is the opposite gender is picking on you, apparently it means they actually like you.  It's pretty damn stupid and nonsensical, really.  The only time I heard about it was when I mentioned off-hand to my youngest cousin on my dad's side (also my dad's cousin) that one of the kids picking on me in 5th-6th grade was a girl, and he said that she was probably picking on me because she liked me and he said that he did that to girls he liked as a kid (the guy is a real dirtbag, so... yeah) which left me thinking "WTF?  How does that make sense?"  Also there's that one kid in Skyrim (Braith) who constantly bullies a boy she likes.

 

Stuff like that just doesn't make sense, yet is somehow considered 'ok' or 'normal' by too many people.

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Strifed
6 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

I guess some stupid attempt to 'assert his dominance' or something like that.  Apparently he'd asked my then-gf to the dance before I did and she turned him down (I'd been friends with her for a while before I asked her to the dance, which, tbh, was kind of out of the ordinary for me (the asking her to the dance part, I mean)), so I guess he had some lingering resentment over it and it ended up getting directed at me.

 

I'm pretty sure that the guys I tend to be friends with aren't that kind of guy, but I tend to gravitate more towards girls because they tend to be much less likely to be assholes (and they generally don't talk about sex much, if at all- at least, the ones I generally talk to don't) in my experience.

 

This also bring me to the whole thing about how in school, if a kid that is the opposite gender is picking on you, apparently it means they actually like you.  It's pretty damn stupid and nonsensical, really.  The only time I heard about it was when I mentioned off-hand to my youngest cousin on my dad's side (also my dad's cousin) that one of the kids picking on me in 5th-6th grade was a girl, and he said that she was probably picking on me because she liked me and he said that he did that to girls he liked as a kid (the guy is a real dirtbag, so... yeah) which left me thinking "WTF?  How does that make sense?"  Also there's that one kid in Skyrim (Braith) who constantly bullies a boy she likes.

 

Stuff like that just doesn't make sense, yet is somehow considered 'ok' or 'normal' by too many people.

what are you guys, bears? We're not wild animals that need to do that kind of thing 😂 that's so childish RIP. She can choose whoever she wants to be with

 

sksks I HATED THAT THING! Like I mentioned before, I had so many boys and men just outright mean and tease me horribly because they "liked" me and that's not the way you show people you care??? At all??? If anything that pushes them away and hurts them. And then when you start crying or refuse to talk to them they're all like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you knew it was because I liked you? I was only being that way because I wanted your attention. You're actually pretty." Binch you just attacked me for something I love and care about, and called me ugly, that doesn't equal liking someone at all !!!! granted this mostly went on in middle school + some high school, but when people get to college you'd think they'd know better... but nope there were too many instances of dudes being creepy or just assholes there too. I used to think maybe I was doing something wrong, but I'm never looking for a date, I never dressed in a way that would make like player kind of guys come over, and idk honestly. Idk why I attract these kinds of dudes. Maybe because I was more on the quiet side and they thought they could just walk all over me? Or because I can't pick up on whatever other flirting cues they were giving they felt the need to act out more to get my attention? Bc there was one guy who started off nice, and then I think I wasn't giving him the attention he wanted (I did not want to hang out with him every damn weekend and no I don't want to kiss you pls stop this) and he just did a 180 and started being a jerk + turned up the flirting. IDK what's up with these guys 😩 Or maybe just the shy ones never say anything or when they do speak, they don't talk all crazy to me, so it's like "meh whatever he's normal" lol.

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Laplace
3 hours ago, Strifed said:

LOL omg but why fight you over it?? 😂 and yeah, I think so too: it's an insecurity or almost narcissistic thing. I feel like most men are not that way (i've just been unlucky sksks), but some of these guys need to be taught or told they don't "own" a girl. Just because a guy likes someone they need to realize that this isn't a disney movie or some cheesy romance movie. You don't go around being mean/a "bad guy" and beating up other dudes for a girl and expect her to fall in your lap. She's gonna go "red flag!" and run lol. No one wants to date someone that's potentially abusive or controlling like that 🙄

My mom and I have always said that insecurity is like the root of all men’s problems. It’s actually kinda hilarious when you think about it. There’s so many ads for ED, men’s dress shoes add like at least .5-1 inch to one’s height, there’s the whole craze about losing one’s virginity, and there’s peer pressure to drink/do drugs/etc. I was looking at the rejecting thirsty people thread and holy **** some guys are just sad. There’s a difference between being confident and just being a ****-y creepster or an a-hole.

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Zagadka

There is a lot of pressure on female sexuality, but problems with male sexuality is always undersold - despite it being universally prevalent in almost everything. You can look at how sex crazed we are without thinking about it by considering how much we spend on ED meds, much less the social pressure on men to be sexual. And this rarely gets talked about seriously.

 

That was one of the things that relieved me (and I've seen other people) discovering asexuality; realizing you don't NEED to deal with sex is shocking in a lot of cultures.

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Bronztrooper
4 hours ago, Strifed said:

what are you guys, bears? We're not wild animals that need to do that kind of thing 😂 that's so childish RIP. She can choose whoever she wants to be with

 

sksks I HATED THAT THING! Like I mentioned before, I had so many boys and men just outright mean and tease me horribly because they "liked" me and that's not the way you show people you care??? At all??? If anything that pushes them away and hurts them. And then when you start crying or refuse to talk to them they're all like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you knew it was because I liked you? I was only being that way because I wanted your attention. You're actually pretty." Binch you just attacked me for something I love and care about, and called me ugly, that doesn't equal liking someone at all !!!! granted this mostly went on in middle school + some high school, but when people get to college you'd think they'd know better... but nope there were too many instances of dudes being creepy or just assholes there too. I used to think maybe I was doing something wrong, but I'm never looking for a date, I never dressed in a way that would make like player kind of guys come over, and idk honestly. Idk why I attract these kinds of dudes. Maybe because I was more on the quiet side and they thought they could just walk all over me? Or because I can't pick up on whatever other flirting cues they were giving they felt the need to act out more to get my attention? Bc there was one guy who started off nice, and then I think I wasn't giving him the attention he wanted (I did not want to hang out with him every damn weekend and no I don't want to kiss you pls stop this) and he just did a 180 and started being a jerk + turned up the flirting. IDK what's up with these guys 😩 Or maybe just the shy ones never say anything or when they do speak, they don't talk all crazy to me, so it's like "meh whatever he's normal" lol.

I've never really seen any sense to it, so I'm almost as clueless as you.

 

Yeah, that was why I was confused about it.  The only thing that came close to that was the whole thing in 'coming of age' movies where the lead guy ends up having a massive crush on the 'popular girl' (who is an overall terrible person).  Like, it's pretty clear that the girl in question is a horrible match for the guy, yet the latter still wants to date the former?  Where's some common sense when you need it?

 

tbh, I was worried that Spiderman: Homecoming was going to go the same route, but I was glad that it didn't.  But then, it wasn't much of a 'coming of age' movie, so that was a bit of a small miracle there, lol

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KeyKey
On 7/17/2019 at 1:56 PM, Skycaptain said:

When someone is flirting with you, and for the first time ever (I'm 47) you notice 

I never notice when people are flirting with me unless it’s super obvious. Someone else who is with me has to tell me. Likewise I don’t know when something I have said or done could be considered flirting. My mind isn’t in that space so I never suspect it. That’s why I keep small talk to a minimum on the job.

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Shiloh_Rose
11 hours ago, KeyKey said:

I never notice when people are flirting with me unless it’s super obvious. Someone else who is with me has to tell me. Likewise I don’t know when something I have said or done could be considered flirting. My mind isn’t in that space so I never suspect it. That’s why I keep small talk to a minimum on the job.

I've always wanted to engage in 'banter'-but felt my mind is just not quick enough for it, and that maybe I wasn't like, that 'friendship level' for it or something; didn't know how far I could go(not that I even go that far anyway 🙄, but you know, I don't really know peoples boundaries unless they tell me, and sometimes people have diff. boundaries for diff. people). And there have been a few times in the past where I guess people thought were were flirting, and once or twice the guy thought so too?
But it was like-no? They do that with a lot of people, and it was so fun, so I thought hey, if we're comfortable enough with each other and if I can, lets also banter? It's so confusing.

So now mostly I just listen/watch other people banter back and forth instead, because I don't want to accidentally go too far somehow or them to think I'm flirting. Although now I almost never go out so its just internet, or like my couple bros that I see(instead of all of them, since they're everywhere now instead of at home) so I don't have to worry about that stuff at all with bros.

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Shiloh_Rose
19 hours ago, firebird8 said:

Oh! I remember this bizarre thing that happened to me when I was about 15. Someone, an older woman but I can't remember how we knew her, decided that what she really needed to do was gift me secondhand lingerie. She gave it to my mother who for some reason also thought this was a wonderful idea, and made me to try it on. Seriously. Also bizarre: it was some kind of like see through white gauzy material, just sort of a big sheet of it with a neck hole. I've never seen anything like as lingerie since; I think I've seen some (usually opaque) cheap rain coats and wearable blankets on a similar design. My mother had this attitude lie this was a once in a lifetime opportunity (were the sex shops going out of business forever?) and I have no idea how I convinced her not to accept the monstrosity on my behalf. Or maybe she did keep it (shudder). 

 

Ick. I haven't thought about that in years. 

*wrinkles nose*
blergh. Sorry that happened to you.

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Dr. Beat

my friend point blank told me that I 'was of no use' to him if he couldn't have sex with me. Me telling him I was ace ended a 10 year friendship. 

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Ninouk
Just now, Dr. Beat said:

my friend point blank told me that I 'was of no use' to him if he couldn't have sex with me. Me telling him I was ace ended a 10 year friendship. 

Wow. That's rough.

I can't even imagine a friend saying something like this.. If it were me, I would probably guess it's a joke.

What an **shole!

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SkyenAutowegCaptain
37 minutes ago, Dr. Beat said:

my friend point blank told me that I 'was of no use' to him if he couldn't have sex with me. Me telling him I was ace ended a 10 year friendship. 

That wasn't a friendship, that was ten years of their trying to get "with benefits", a true friend would support your decision, not abandon (keeping it polite) you 

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Anthracite_Impreza
43 minutes ago, Dr. Beat said:

my friend point blank told me that I 'was of no use' to him if he couldn't have sex with me. Me telling him I was ace ended a 10 year friendship. 

Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Still, that's an awful thing to say.

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Dr. Beat

I think it was actually a bit more complicated. I asked if we could continue being friends and he responded with 'I'm a cold-blooded motherfucker and you don't want to be near me.' And how exactly was a romantic/sexual relationship going to be somehow 'safer' for me? I think he's just being weird and wants to look more tough and 'macho' because he thinks it's impressive. Either way I guess we're done.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Sounds like he had a long term crush on you and took your rejection badly; it's understandable to be upset, but there's no need to be a dick about it. Leave it a while, he might get over his outburst and feel bad about it later.

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KeyKey
23 hours ago, firebird8 said:

Oh! I remember this bizarre thing that happened to me when I was about 15. Someone, an older woman but I can't remember how we knew her, decided that what she really needed to do was gift me secondhand lingerie. She gave it to my mother who for some reason also thought this was a wonderful idea, and made me to try it on. Seriously. Also bizarre: it was some kind of like see through white gauzy material, just sort of a big sheet of it with a neck hole. I've never seen anything like as lingerie since; I think I've seen some (usually opaque) cheap rain coats and wearable blankets on a similar design. My mother had this attitude lie this was a once in a lifetime opportunity (were the sex shops going out of business forever?) and I have no idea how I convinced her not to accept the monstrosity on my behalf. Or maybe she did keep it (shudder). 

 

Ick. I haven't thought about that in years. 

I think mothers have this intrinsic sense that their daughter is not fully sexual. For years my mom says, out of the blue, has been saying “everybody needs to be cuddled and caressed and loved” or “every woman needs a man to kiss and touch her and want to be with her.” I never said anything. I just felt weirded out like 1. Why are you trying to convince me of this? 2. Why is this conversation so random? And 3. What if some women really don’t need all of that or they don’t need it right now?

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Dr. Beat

@Anthracite_Impreza Oh I wasn't trying to be mean. I know lashing out won't help at all. I'm just also not going to chase after this

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Anthracite_Impreza
6 minutes ago, Dr. Beat said:

@Anthracite_Impreza Oh I wasn't trying to be mean. I know lashing out won't help at all. I'm just also not going to chase after this

I meant he was acting like a dick, you don't have to do anything after that.

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nerdperson777
On 7/18/2019 at 4:07 PM, Bronztrooper said:

This also bring me to the whole thing about how in school, if a kid that is the opposite gender is picking on you, apparently it means they actually like you.  It's pretty damn stupid and nonsensical, really.  The only time I heard about it was when I mentioned off-hand to my youngest cousin on my dad's side (also my dad's cousin) that one of the kids picking on me in 5th-6th grade was a girl, and he said that she was probably picking on me because she liked me and he said that he did that to girls he liked as a kid (the guy is a real dirtbag, so... yeah) which left me thinking "WTF?  How does that make sense?"  Also there's that one kid in Skyrim (Braith) who constantly bullies a boy she likes.

 

Stuff like that just doesn't make sense, yet is somehow considered 'ok' or 'normal' by too many people.

I think once I was presented with that possibility when I said I was getting bullied.  Romance-repulsed me would never believe it.  Maybe I had a few more admirers that I rejected without trying.

 

I remember doing a quest with that in Skyrim, but it's a faded memory.

 

4 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Sounds like he had a long term crush on you and took your rejection badly; it's understandable to be upset, but there's no need to be a dick about it. Leave it a while, he might get over his outburst and feel bad about it later.

I apparently had a friend who crushed on me for over 2 years.  After I came out as neither cis nor het, I think he was too heartbroken to really talk to me ever again.  He tried hanging out a few times with new groups I was in, where I was seen as a guy, but in the end, he didn't want to be my friend anymore.  I thought I had a really good friend for those two years.  He might've felt cheated out of a girlfriend but I don't think I did anything wrong by being a good friend.  I lost a good friend, just because there were other motives.

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Laplace
On 7/18/2019 at 4:07 PM, Bronztrooper said:

This also bring me to the whole thing about how in school, if a kid that is the opposite gender is picking on you, apparently it means they actually like you.  It's pretty damn stupid and nonsensical, really.  The only time I heard about it was when I mentioned off-hand to my youngest cousin on my dad's side (also my dad's cousin) that one of the kids picking on me in 5th-6th grade was a girl, and he said that she was probably picking on me because she liked me and he said that he did that to girls he liked as a kid (the guy is a real dirtbag, so... yeah) which left me thinking "WTF?  How does that make sense?"  Also there's that one kid in Skyrim (Braith) who constantly bullies a boy she likes.

 

Stuff like that just doesn't make sense, yet is somehow considered 'ok' or 'normal' by too many people.

I think I mentioned this issue before, but I hate this mentality. As someone who was harassed by a stronger, older girl (this girl I heard went on to compete in really physical sports in high school) when when I was a toddler, it’s not fun; adults, intervene and ****ing help the child. Even today as an adult, I don’t enjoy being teased, and I don’t really even playfully mess with anyone else cause I don’t like it happening to me. I also hate the modern day tsundere cause they perpetuate the idea that this is acceptable or even cute. The victim doesn’t think this is cute, it’s demoralizing. 😑

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Bronztrooper
5 hours ago, Laplace said:

I think I mentioned this issue before, but I hate this mentality. As someone who was harassed by a stronger, older girl (this girl I heard went on to compete in really physical sports in high school) when when I was a toddler, it’s not fun; adults, intervene and ****ing help the child. Even today as an adult, I don’t enjoy being teased, and I don’t really even playfully mess with anyone else cause I don’t like it happening to me. I also hate the modern day tsundere cause they perpetuate the idea that this is acceptable or even cute. The victim doesn’t think this is cute, it’s demoralizing. 😑

I dealt with getting picking on for about 10 years straight through multiple schools and the only time I actually went up to a teacher about it, she'd ask the kid in question if it was true, and then take their side when they (obviously) said it wasn't true.  Only served to destroy any faith I might've had about teachers doing anything about bullying.

 

The only thing that stopped it was when I finally stood up for myself (and by that, I mean I finally snapped and beat the hell out of one of the kids that'd been picking on me), which was one of the things all those anti-bullying presentations never touched on.

 

Also, I recently found out that when I was young (2-3 I think) I'd gone to a daycare place for a couple of days, but on the 3rd day I didn't want to go anymore.  My dad looked into it and found out that I had been getting beaten up by the bigger kids and the workers there either didn't see what was happening, or didn't care.  Honestly, that kind of makes me feel like I was always one of those kids that got picked on and I don't really like that, but I like to think that I'd be better at standing up for myself now.

 

So yeah, I totally agree with you that someone should step in in situations like that.  And I also hate getting trolled in online games because it just reminds me of all the bullshit I went through.  If I'm friends with the person in question, it's not really annoying, but if I don't know them (which is 99% of the time), then it'll get on my nerves rather quick.

 

There's also the whole thing where I keep getting told (mostly by my dad, but sometimes by other people) that I take what people say too seriously.  With people I'm not familiar with, yeah, I tend to take them at their word because I don't know them well enough to judge when they're joking (unless it's plainly obvious).  Like, with my dad, I'm able to tell when he's joking nearly all the time (which is about 70-80% of the time) because I know him well enough, but with other people, I have no idea when they are being serious or sarcastic most of the time, so I assume the former.  idk what that says about me, though.

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Temeraire
19 hours ago, Shiloh_Rose said:

So now mostly I just listen/watch other people banter back and forth instead, because I don't want to accidentally go too far somehow or them to think I'm flirting.

! ! ! I can't express how much it annoys me that I have to be careful around men not to banter too much because that could be caught as flirting. As a woman you can hold another girls hand and it's still friendship goals but if you make fun of a guy suddenly you're flirting? ? ? 

 

Another problem is that now that I am over my internalised misogyny that told me make up is for shallow people I'm sometimes feel uncomfortable wearing clothes or make up because it makes me feel like people will think I'm allo. It's walking the line between 'I wanna look pretty' and 'I don't wanna be seen as sexy'. 

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Laplace
5 hours ago, Temeraire said:

! ! ! I can't express how much it annoys me that I have to be careful around men not to banter too much because that could be caught as flirting. As a woman you can hold another girls hand and it's still friendship goals but if you make fun of a guy suddenly you're flirting? ? ? 

I used to have this dumb rivalry with a girl in middle school in my Discovery Science class so we were always at each other’s throats for some stupid reason or another. Everyone thought it was cute and that we liked each other. People have a messed up perception of what is romantic 🤨. If they really did like me like people assumed, I never would’ve guessed. Though, now I don’t know if I’m being logical or if people are actually correct when they say things like this. Like, I have a really bad track record on catching romantic cues so maybe this really is another instance where I was really blind. Gah, it’s so confusing! 😫 Is bickering or banter supposed to be signs of animosity or attraction? 🤔😖 It’s hard enough catching other flirting signals.

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Aldis Friedman

As you probably already know, I'm about to become an exchange student. And I swear, every day, my mother jokes that I will return with a husband! I don't want to say anything about my orientation yet, so for now, I just awkwardly laugh… 😂

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Zagadka
10 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

I dealt with getting picking on for about 10 years straight through multiple schools and the only time I actually went up to a teacher about it, she'd ask the kid in question if it was true, and then take their side when they (obviously) said it wasn't true.  Only served to destroy any faith I might've had about teachers doing anything about bullying.

My experience was that after several years of constantly being picked on and fights, I would just want to drop it, but administrators would call us all in to their offices to have a talk. And of course that just pissed off the other kids more, even though I didn't want to be there. Believe it or not, assistant principal, being forced to shake hands with a bully does not prevent them from throwing you down a hill later.

 

School administrators and teachers have absolutely no clue. Neither did my parents. In 6th grade, they told me to threaten to sue bullies. That... was a mistake. #thanksmom

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Laplace

A lot of adults and teachers have no idea how to handle bullies cause they are too soft, esp. cause certain places just have asinine policies that handcuff someone’s ability to defend themselves or stifle the school’s ability to punish anyone. Zero tolerance policies are trash cause you can’t fight back if someone hits you 😒. I gathered physically powerful people as friends, and I harnessed my academic power and leveraged it against people who decided to mess with me maliciously. I may have been kinda of an oddball, but I had a fair amount of influence in a small quiet school like mine. I could pretty much request to move my seat or leave a group project at will given a sufficient reason, and my word was considered very reliable. So people either had to contend with my friend on the wrestling team or face the academic consequences of my condemnations. My reliable reputation is my greatest weapon.

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Bronztrooper
2 hours ago, Laplace said:

A lot of adults and teachers have no idea how to handle bullies cause they are too soft, esp. cause certain places just have asinine policies that handcuff someone’s ability to defend themselves or stifle the school’s ability to punish anyone. Zero tolerance policies are trash cause you can’t fight back if someone hits you 😒. I gathered physically powerful people as friends, and I harnessed my academic power and leveraged it against people who decided to mess with me maliciously. I may have been kinda of an oddball, but I had a fair amount of influence in a small quiet school like mine. I could pretty much request to move my seat or leave a group project at will given a sufficient reason, and my word was considered very reliable. So people either had to contend with my friend on the wrestling team or face the academic consequences of my condemnations. My reliable reputation is my greatest weapon.

Favoritism comes into play as well.  Case in point: before my first fight, a friend of mine got attacked by a girl, but he just focused on getting her off of him because he knew that if he fought back the other kids wouldn't went at him.  When my dad talked to the principal about it, the latter made all these excuses for the girl and went on about how her family was apparently going through rough times (which was rather insulting since my family has gone through a lot of shit too and the guy tried to make it seem like going through rough times makes getting into fights ok), which obviously pissed off my dad, who started cursing him out.

 

I guess the principal remembered that because when I finally snapped, he settled for giving me ISS (in-school suspension) for 1 day and allowing me to leave for the classes I had tests in even though I did swing first.  Second first I didn't swing first, but I did retaliate, which earned me 2 days of OSS (out of school suspension) while the other kid got 4 days (this was 2 days before winter break, so I technically got an extended break).  Of course, I didn't get punished by my parents for fighting back, but I guess that point of OSS is supposed to be for the parents to punish the kid rather than just the school.

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griffinej5

It’s such a load of shit that someone is picking on you because they like you. If that’s the case, they need to be taught a better way to express that, and to back the hell off if it’s not reciprocated. 

I think that kids didn’t physically bully me when I was a kid because I was big. I was always one of the tallest kids. I also hung around boys, and would play Mortal Kombat with them (for some reason we were allowed to play battle each other). On the occasions the verbal bullying went too far, then I would get aggressive to shut them up. That only happened twice all the way through school, and I’d strike once and not keeping fighting. One of the times, I kicked a boy, and I got detention for refusing to apologize. I really don’t think that teacher thought I was entirely in the wrong, she tried to give me a way out, but I was the one who got aggressive. I was not sorry, so I went to detention. 

11 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

Favoritism comes into play as well.  Case in point: before my first fight, a friend of mine got attacked by a girl, but he just focused on getting her off of him because he knew that if he fought back the other kids wouldn't went at him.  When my dad talked to the principal about it, the latter made all these excuses for the girl and went on about how her family was apparently going through rough times (which was rather insulting since my family has gone through a lot of shit too and the guy tried to make it seem like going through rough times makes getting into fights ok), which obviously pissed off my dad, who started cursing him out.

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I recall my dad being told the other kid is  going through a rough time story too in the other instance where I actually aggressed on someone for verbal bullying. I’m sorry, but if we use that logic,  then I guess everyone who was ever abused is doomed to grow up to be an abuser. 

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Zagadka

Why would someone even want to reciprocate feelings of love expressed aggressively? That seems just so counterintuitive.

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Laplace

It doesn’t matter if the kid who started it is going through “hard times.” Like, would you ever try to defend yourselves in court with the excuse that “I’m going through hard times?” Dafuq? That doesn’t excuse blatantly bad behavior. I’ve never had to strike someone thankfully, partly cause most people weren’t quite stupid enough to start a fight at my school. I was only somewhat strong, but I had a fair amount of reinforcements to call in at nearly all times. Plus, my quiet reputation probably made me seem a bit unpredictable.

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