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#AsexualProblems


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17 minutes ago, olivria1 said:

Why do people think that calling someone asexual is a good insult?

 

I'm aro-ace, and I'm not out to my family yet. I'm eighteen and I've never had a crush (obviously) or a S.O. My teenage brothers (who are most definitely not ace) regularly tease me about this. I usually ignore it and I don't pay much attention to it. However, yesterday I told them I'd never had any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship and my youngest brother asked me "t'es quoi, asexuée?" before laughing. This loosely translates to "what are you, asexual?" which wouldn't be that bad (other than that he considered it to be impossible and almost an insult) except for the fact that French has two different words for asexual individuals (des individus asexuels) and plants' asexual reproduction (la reproduction asexuée). My brother used the plant one, which makes me wonder not only how acephobic he could be, but how ignorant he is. How do people not know this? How does he not know what it sounds like? We live in Montreal, Quebec. It's one of the most progressive places, yet he insults me by calling me an asexual plant. I'm disappointed and even more reticent to come out to my family now. Fortunately, I've told a few of my friends and they've been nothing but supportive.

 

On other news, I think my family believes I'm a lesbian because I've never had a boyfriend or shown interest in boys. I've never shown any interests in girl either, for that matter... *Sigh*

I laughed at that bit.

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Anthracite_Impreza

@olivria1 If it had been me I would've said "yes, I am actually", just for the looks on their faces.

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nerdperson777
3 hours ago, olivria1 said:

plants' asexual reproduction

I'd say, "are you sure you want me to make clones of myself?"

 

3 hours ago, olivria1 said:

On other news, I think my family believes I'm a lesbian because I've never had a boyfriend or shown interest in boys. I've never shown any interests in girl either, for that matter... *Sigh*

Well I get asked outright if I'm gay by my mom and then I daydreamed and in front of me was a guy so it was like I was staring at him.  She tried to make me admit that I had a crush on him.  First you think I'm gay for not liking boys and then saying I did..?

 

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Lightning Blue Ray

My university has a facebook page for love letters and last week someone confessed to me via the page. I didn't even know there was a page for that, I saw the confession only when my fencing friends tagged me in it because they recognised me from the description. I actually cried soon after reading it, because I felt so uncomfortable. I'm pre-T and don't pass, so naturally the person who confessed addressed me as a girl, which I understand. I don't quite know how to tell the person that I don't mind being friends, but anything more than that is a big no from me, because I'm ace. I really wish they were attracted to someone else.

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WoodwindWhistler
11 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

Society in general needs more of a 'you do you' attitude.
"I can't understand why you're like that, but I won't try to change you." , "That makes no sense to me, but that person must have their reasons." , etc.

Except when it comes to vegetarianism/veganism, yes. 

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11 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

Society in general needs more of a 'you do you' attitude.
"I can't understand why you're like that, but I won't try to change you." , "That makes no sense to me, but that person must have their reasons." , etc.

Life becomes much less stressful when you stop caring or wondering about people’s harmless habits. I can understand maybe if another person was spreading blatantly harmful beliefs like advocating human sacrifices, but asexuality pretty much harms no one and benefits some people  because it potentially reduces competition for certain partners (and aromanticism even more so). 

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Fluffy Femme Guy
48 minutes ago, Laplace said:

I can understand maybe if another person was spreading blatantly harmful beliefs like advocating human sacrifices

Yeah, I was referring to harmless habits/choices.

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nerdperson777
1 hour ago, Laplace said:

Life becomes much less stressful when you stop caring or wondering about people’s harmless habits. I can understand maybe if another person was spreading blatantly harmful beliefs like advocating human sacrifices, but asexuality pretty much harms no one and benefits some people  because it potentially reduces competition for certain partners (and aromanticism even more so). 

Well allo people really can't be satisfied because if they're attracted to one of us, it becomes our fault for being bait.  I lost a good friend because I thought we were friends but then I found out he was crushing on me for two years.  Then I came out as not a girl and aro ace and he was incredibly devastated, eventually never wanting to speak to me again, even though he claimed that he was fine with my identity.

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On 10/21/2018 at 4:11 PM, AmorphousBlob said:

Just told a guy that even if I did like guys I still wouldn't like him. It was pretty funny but now everyone thinks I'm gay.

Oh. no. The tragedy. How will you ever recover.

 

(I'm pretty sure a good amount of my school's population are questioning my "straightness". Joke's on them.)

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Divide By Zero

I ran into an old acquaintance the other day. He said to me, " When are you going to outgrow your asexuality?"

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AmorphousBlob

I keep getting ads about 'hot asian women in your area looking for older men'

 

There are just so many things wrong with that phrase...

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3 hours ago, AmorphousBlob said:

I keep getting ads about 'hot asian women in your area looking for older men'

 

There are just so many things wrong with that phrase...

I hate those ads, all of them are just so wrong.

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4 hours ago, AmorphousBlob said:

I keep getting ads about 'hot asian women in your area looking for older men'

 

There are just so many things wrong with that phrase...

 

1 hour ago, Bio 7 said:

I hate those ads, all of them are just so wrong.

I hate those too. When I watch anime, the ads are next to the video player. ''Asian/Russian women wanting to chat on a 'dating' website''

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Fluffy Femme Guy
10 hours ago, Miss Who said:

(I'm pretty sure a good amount of my school's population are questioning my "straightness". Joke's on them.)

There's been one confirmed time in my life where someone couldn't figure out if I'm straight or gay.
I've was also once called 'the gayest straight guy' by one of my friends at the time. (It wasn't an insult, I found it amusing)

The joke is indeed on them.

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So I'm running one of the "rocur" ("rotating curator") Twitter accounts, and "asexualawarenessweek" isn't trending on that account. 

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13 hours ago, AmorphousBlob said:

I keep getting ads about 'hot asian women in your area looking for older men'

 

There are just so many things wrong with that phrase...

 

9 hours ago, Bio 7 said:

I hate those ads, all of them are just so wrong.

Google and website cookies know I’m Asian so they assume I want to meet other Asians. That’s racist! /sarcasm Honestly, beyond being stereotypically academically smart and law-abiding, I don’t typically mesh with a lot of East Asians my age; I don’t really associate with many of them. Even if I was romantic/sexual, IDK if I’d want to be with someone who looked too much like my relatives - it’d just feel weird 😬.

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Bleh!

I hate ad's like that, been spammed with them alongside lezhin comics or whatever just because I read webcomics.

Step the hell off google.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I get "sexy Russian women" on train websites, nowhere is safe.

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1 hour ago, Anthraxite_Vampreza said:

I get "sexy Russian women" on train websites, nowhere is safe.

 

Train websites? That’s insane. That’s why people shouldn’t be Russian to conclusions about only seeing those ads based on unsavory searches.

 

I’m sorry, I had to

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AmorphousBlob
9 hours ago, Laplace said:

 

Google and website cookies know I’m Asian so they assume I want to meet other Asians. That’s racist! /sarcasm Honestly, beyond being stereotypically academically smart and law-abiding, I don’t typically mesh with a lot of East Asians my age; I don’t really associate with many of them. Even if I was romantic/sexual, IDK if I’d want to be with someone who looked too much like my relatives - it’d just feel weird 😬.

I'm not even asian... or older... or a man... nor do I like anything hot... or women...

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Unfortunately "asexual" has "sex" in the middle of the word, and computer algorithms "selectively" can't tell the difference. 

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Ms. Carolynne

I get ads for Muslim women, for whatever reason.

 

On the other hand, most of my ads are for clothing, feminine products, computer hardware, and cars. These make more sense, though I don't know why cars.

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Anthracite_Impreza
7 hours ago, i.r3beka said:

 

Train websites? That’s insane. That’s why people shouldn’t be Russian to conclusions about only seeing those ads based on unsavory searches.

 

I’m sorry, I had to

Ooh you'll fit right in on AVEN.

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nerdperson777
On 10/25/2018 at 8:38 PM, i.r3beka said:

“The same time you outgrow your heterosexuality”

I had a friend who posted a funny status: "to my cishet friends, when did you find out that you were straight?"

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16 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

Unfortunately "asexual" has "sex" in the middle of the word, and computer algorithms "selectively" can't tell the difference. 

It probably sees it as a typo and things you are a sexual something, maybe deviant.

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On 10/23/2018 at 12:59 PM, Builderboy said:

Update: 

 

When I tell the above story to my friends they don't realize how it makes me feel until I tell them to look at it if I were gay and my parents were trying to tell me to only date women.  I know it's hard for allos to sympathize with asexuals but sometimes I wish that asexuality was more understood by the masses.

Absolutely. Then we no longer have to make comparisons like these to make people understand, but rather, asexuals are our own identity (which is the case anyway).

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