confusedbat Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Wanting to listen to 1940's music but it's all crooners. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Carolynne Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 When people pester you as to why you don't have or want a girlfriend. When your parents make remarks like "Just don't become like your odlest brother" (who is openly gay, and they don't approve) for no real reason but to backhandedly question your sexuality. It's not a conversation I initiate or anything, it's more like small talk for them; they'll just say it like it's a passing comment. Actually, when people in general use my lack of sexuality and it's apparent ambiguity to them as a backdrop for their insecurities. They think it's open mic to question you. I've had someone, a hypersexual no less, remark that I'm probably a repressed pervert. He also thinks I'm into his wife (ugly person inside and out btw; I legit hate her tbh, but that's a different can of worms), and has insinuated it and called what he perceives to be my thoughts inapropriate. I also have a friend who is gay, who has low key flirted with me, and he thinks I'm a closet homosexual. Also, when people try to teach you about sex, and how to please a woman, because they think you're just innocent and need to know that stuff to "fix" your "sex problems". Can't a guy just not want sex? Do I have to want to saddle up and go to the races with every girl I see to not have a "problem"? Sorry for the rant, but I guess that's the point of this thread 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simpleton001 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Having to explain to someone that it's not that you're not in the mood you're never in the mood and so would prefer sleeping over wateva they've planned for the night. #asexualproblems 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zatarra Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 On 2/3/2018 at 4:44 AM, Skycaptain said: I think more Aces are interested in Feb 15th, discount chocolate day That is what Nov 1st is for... the post Halloween discounts. I generally dislike anything in or around the the 14th - all that red hearts & mushy goo makes me nauseous. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zatarra Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 On 2/3/2018 at 12:00 AM, donttouchme said: Who's excited for Valentine's Day?!?!?!?!?! I will be spending the day at my local Tibetan Buddhist Sangha - spinning prayer wheels and sweeping the courtyard while carefully trapping bugs and spiders to kindly relocate them outside (we cant harm any life forms). That is my idea of a perfect Feb 14th. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceTrainerTiny Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Well, I feel like I'm just repeating myself at this point but seriously I wish people would just accept that I don't want a relationship. I am tired of hearing the phrases "that'll change when you get older" and "you never know, that could change" and "sometimes life sneaks up on you" when people try to discuss the future with me and I casually mention that I don't want a typical relationship. Seriously, I'm not even sure I'd totally want a platonic partner but people act like I'm just too shy and inexperienced to know what I'm talking about when the fact of the matter is that I just don't want a relationship and anyone who tries to convince me different can GO SUCK A ROCK!!! That same teacher that I've mentioned in previous posts was having a conversation with us about college and he looked at me and said "well, that sounds like a great plan but you never know, one day you could be working equations and bump into another mathematician and then next thing you know you're married with 4 kids" and I could not keep my cool I almost lost it. I pulled up AVEN and was about ready to go on a 15 minute (at least) rant about how people can be asexual and aromantic and that while yes there's always a chance for something to change, I've been in a relationship and all of that romancy stuff and beyond is just gross to me, but then the lunch bell rang. After lunch he pulled up another article about someone with potential just starting their career dying and said "here's another example of how life can catch up to you" as if that justified his entire argument against my orientation and identity and I simply said "I get that, but I was just getting worked up over your example about a woman because that won't happen with me" and of course his mind jumps to me being gay and eventually I told him that I'm ace but I'm pretty sure that he's completely unconvinced and thinks that he knows how I'm going to turn out. And then when I get home my mom continues the situation indirectly by asking her if my best friend and I are going to start dating when I've told her that she is like my little sister and I think that dating in general is gross, of course to which I get the response "okay, well let me know when that changes" as if I'm a 4 year old who's waiting to grow up. I may still be young, but I turn 18 in just under two weeks and I think I've suffered through enough to realize that I'm aro/ace but oh well. Everyone knows better about my life and who I am than I do, even though I've only told like three or four people about the entirety of my self discovery, I obviously know nothing because I don't want the thing that all humans obviously want and anyone who says that they don't is either a late bloomer or just pretending. University can not approach fast enough... Sorry for the rant but I'm about to make a powerpoint presentation complete with spreadsheets and graphs to try and get it through to these people that I don't want what they keep implying I want. I just want to be left alone about it. Why can't they talk to me about something fun or reasonable, like the Riemann Hypothesis or String Theory or... I don't know, movies or something. Enough with the relationships already, I get that they care but I'm trying to avoid tearing my hair out over here I need to bake... 12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 On 1/28/2018 at 4:23 AM, ThatHuman said: People constantly throwing Science 'facts' at me Oh, I forgot, there's also this."chimpanzees raised among humans do not know what social sex is because they are never taught, this has been documented. when reintroduced to chimpanzees after adolescence they are [sic] have no instinctual knowledge of what to "do" to "have sex" - if they aren't taught by watching other chimpanzees, they don't know. biologists saying we are hardwired for sex are simply wrong and being pseudoscientific" Birds and reptiles have non-penetrative anatomy and still manage to get pregnant. Surprise, we can do it that way too. As long as *some* semen gets on the right place, that is sufficient. (which is why, in addition to STDs, in another post, I argued we aim for sex ed that advocate many ways to orgasm without even getting near to doing that. There is literally no natural imperative to, except that dictated and shaped by culture) 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 4 hours ago, Zatarra said: That is what Nov 1st is for... the post Halloween discounts. I generally dislike anything in or around the the 14th - all that red hearts & mushy goo makes me nauseous. Awwwwwwwww but they have adorable puppy dog shaped chocolate bars that don't even say any lovey stuff on them. At least, where I am. 4 hours ago, Zatarra said: I will be spending the day at my local Tibetan Buddhist Sangha - spinning prayer wheels and sweeping the courtyard while carefully trapping bugs and spiders to kindly relocate them outside (we cant harm any life forms). That is my idea of a perfect Feb 14th. You. I like you. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 1 hour ago, AceTrainerTiny said: Why can't they talk to me about something fun or reasonable, like the Riemann Hypothesis or String Theory or... I don't know, movies or something. Maybe this will help you feel better? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceTrainerTiny Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 6 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said: Maybe this will help you feel better? Spoiler Honestly that did, thanks! Now to go to school once more and try not to fall apart in this man's class 0.o Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 On 2/2/2018 at 9:00 PM, donttouchme said: Who's excited for Valentine's Day?!?!?!?!?! In an online group, someone asked what we were doing for Valentine's Day. I commented with "forgetting what day it is". 22 hours ago, G1P0 said: When people pester you as to why you don't have or want a girlfriend. When your parents make remarks like "Just don't become like your odlest brother" (who is openly gay, and they don't approve) for no real reason but to backhandedly question your sexuality. It's not a conversation I initiate or anything, it's more like small talk for them; they'll just say it like it's a passing comment. Actually, when people in general use my lack of sexuality and it's apparent ambiguity to them as a backdrop for their insecurities. They think it's open mic to question you. I've had someone, a hypersexual no less, remark that I'm probably a repressed pervert. He also thinks I'm into his wife (ugly person inside and out btw; I legit hate her tbh, but that's a different can of worms), and has insinuated it and called what he perceives to be my thoughts inapropriate. I also have a friend who is gay, who has low key flirted with me, and he thinks I'm a closet homosexual. Also, when people try to teach you about sex, and how to please a woman, because they think you're just innocent and need to know that stuff to "fix" your "sex problems". Can't a guy just not want sex? Do I have to want to saddle up and go to the races with every girl I see to not have a "problem"? Sorry for the rant, but I guess that's the point of this thread My oldest paternal cousin probably gets that since his three younger siblings are married and two have children. He dated for the first time a year ago and it ended pretty quickly. I heard that he made the girlfriend some filet mignon steak for Valentine's Day and she was disappointed that it wasn't the most expensive beef. My paternal relatives are so traditional. I really don't belong there if I have to be cishet. My maternal cousin and I have discussed all the possibilities. He could be gay or asexual. She called him a prude, which many aces seem to be called. I just know that he really doesn't like dirty jokes, even butt jokes. She's thinking that my uncle is trying to marry him off somehow to not be alone. He may even want grandchildren, even though he already has two. Meanwhile my mom's side has many independent cat ladies. Only one cat lady was married, and even then they're separated. Don't even know how such a mismatch in family dynamics brought my parents together. Also it's odd that I find my dad more accepting of my gender than my mom, who is the most worried about my gender affecting her reputation. They're not getting any children either most likely, since my ovaries are slowly decaying. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 When you can’t figure out your sexual orientation because you don’t care about sex... I mean I am becoming more worried about this... I want to go into a relationship ( or at least confess) but I am afraid that I won’t understand it really (hella inexperienced)... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FinneganCatch Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Plans for valentines day: taking my dog to the vet for surgery than no work for the rest of the week! Last of my vacations days til April. Plans for Feb 15: Buying all that discount chocolate. Dont care what it says I'll eat it anyway 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Just now, FinneganCatch said: Buying all that discount chocolate. Dont care what it says I'll eat it anyway Yessssss I remember looking at all the Christmas chocolate going ... it’s so cheap? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FinneganCatch Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Valentines day has perfect timing for me this year I finished all my Christmas chocolate last week 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I know then you can restock up till Easter 🐣 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FinneganCatch Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, :)(: said: I know then you can restock up till Easter 🐣 Exactly! After that though theres a drought of chocolate holidays til Halloween. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WWIFlyingAce Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Listening to your best friend grieve her breakup with her boyfriend for days, and feeling completely useless because you have absolutely no idea what to say to make her feel better, so you just tell her boys have cooties... even though you're 25 and she's 36. 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 7 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: I heard that he made the girlfriend some filet mignon steak for Valentine's Day and she was disappointed that it wasn't the most expensive beef. Meanwhile my mom's side has many independent cat ladies. Only one cat lady was married, and even then they're separated. Ugh, what a stuck up brat. See, this is the kind of attitude materialistic romanticism breeds. Why is there no linguistic differentiation between that and the kind that genuinely makes people . . . better people. Haha, so you're in good company, genetically speaking. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 @FinneganCatch I love your avatar! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 People think Quantum mechanics is hard, try explaining to an allosexual that with sex and love, one can exist without the other. 😧 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FinneganCatch Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 @Andiamo Thanks! I like yours too! Is that your horse or just a pic you like? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 54 minutes ago, FinneganCatch said: @Andiamo Thanks! I like yours too! Is that your horse or just a pic you like? Thank you! He's not mine, but I leased him for 3 1/2 years and still ride him when I'm home. I actually borrowed his name to use as my username. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Willgracefan Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 On 2/6/2018 at 9:51 PM, WWIFlyingAce said: Listening to your best friend grieve her breakup with her boyfriend for days, and feeling completely useless because you have absolutely no idea what to say to make her feel better, so you just tell her boys have cooties... even though you're 25 and she's 36. So I just came out to my friends and sister and I told them that while determining if I’m actually ace I compiled a list. One thing I left off the list was being able to comfort my sister when her fiancé cheated on her and broke up with her. Yes! I had no idea how to comfort her because I couldn’t relate. I was probably harsh at the time unbeknownst to me... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 I spilled tea on my book. #asexualproblems 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mechanicalsunshine Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Honestly, because we've never really talked about this kind of thing, I just assumed that my mom didn't care whether or not I ever got in a relationship or had kids, but then once, we were discussing my moms tattoo (it's three hearts for her three kids) and how she wanted to include grand kids now that my brothers got a kid, and how it's difficult to keep it symmetrical when you don't know how many grand kids there's gonna be. And I basically mentioned something about how I wasn't gonna have kids or something and she went "Oh, don't say that.." or something, and it just surprised me so much... Like, I honestly didn't think she'd be one of those people, so... 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 9 hours ago, mechanicalsunshine said: Honestly, because we've never really talked about this kind of thing, I just assumed that my mom didn't care whether or not I ever got in a relationship or had kids, but then once, we were discussing my moms tattoo (it's three hearts for her three kids) and how she wanted to include grand kids now that my brothers got a kid, and how it's difficult to keep it symmetrical when you don't know how many grand kids there's gonna be. And I basically mentioned something about how I wasn't gonna have kids or something and she went "Oh, don't say that.." or something, and it just surprised me so much... Like, I honestly didn't think she'd be one of those people, so... Mine would be a triangle facing the other way. My grandfather had two wives since the first died early. My step-grandmother has many grandchildren. But my grandmother? I'm the only one, and the triangle stops there. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 On 2/9/2018 at 7:28 PM, WoodwindWhistler said: I spilled tea on my book. NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mechanicalsunshine Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 6 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: Mine would be a triangle facing the other way. My grandfather had two wives since the first died early. My step-grandmother has many grandchildren. But my grandmother? I'm the only one, and the triangle stops there. Do you mean a triangle where the tip faces downwards or something? Just curious, didn't really understand, but I get where you're going I think. If you're gonna have tattoos representing other people, I think familial tattoos are your best bet. Probably not gonna affect most of us here, but the idea of romantic tattoos are just... not smart... Anyways, I think I wanna get a rose painting tattoo if I was gonna get something for my family, since both my mom and grandmother rose paints. (if you wanna know what that is, google rose painting norway, otherwise you just get a bunch of paintings of roses..) And even though my paternal grandmother doesn't do it herself, she has a lot of furniture and stuff with it on, so that's a thing.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 18 hours ago, mechanicalsunshine said: Honestly, because we've never really talked about this kind of thing, I just assumed that my mom didn't care whether or not I ever got in a relationship or had kids, but then once, we were discussing my moms tattoo (it's three hearts for her three kids) and how she wanted to include grand kids now that my brothers got a kid, and how it's difficult to keep it symmetrical when you don't know how many grand kids there's gonna be. And I basically mentioned something about how I wasn't gonna have kids or something and she went "Oh, don't say that.." or something, and it just surprised me so much... Like, I honestly didn't think she'd be one of those people, so... "those people"? Okay really, it seems you're being a bit of a drama queen right now. Being a grandparent is a joyful experience and it's very normal to desire. (for that matter, so is romance) It'd be like someone say "Oh, you enjoy cake? You're one of 'those people.' Gluttonous. Diabetes bound." In some cases, people are taking offhand comments like this and pumping it up to be some sort of targeted personal attack on them. Yeah, maybe that's the intense sensitivity that people on this thread griping about this sort of thing eventually leads to. Let's not be that way. Let's be more inclusive and tolerant of other peoples' ways of thinking and desires. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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