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#AsexualProblems


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14 hours ago, Fantastic Name said:

Ugh. I know how you feel. That was all of Sunday school for me and I'm beyond relieved that I'm done with it. I used to go to this super-ultra-conservative church that hated when people asked questions, so I really get you.

The sad thing is that I'm not going to a extremely conservative church, I'm a Methodist. And while the Methodist church as a whole is not as liberal as we like to think (I'm not blind to our flaws, we seem to be only moderate at best), we're still a lot more liberal than many other denominations. And yet, that happened in class anyway, I couldn't believe it. If it comes up again, I certainly shall challenge it. I didn't before because I was in shock, but I think I'll be better prepared to next time. 

 

9 hours ago, nate-1234 said:

When people say this it always makes me feel uncomfortable. One because I do not desire sex or children and two because I am infertile. So, when people say this it is like they are indirectly calling my life and my existence useless and purposeless. 

Bingo!! That's exactly what they're saying, whether they realize it or not. People can be so thoughtless sometimes, and I hate that. Especially when it's coming from fellow Christians. They could hardly have come up with a more hurtful thing to say if they'd been trying to. And then we wonder why it is that people don't like Christians very much! Too many reasons to count, honestly. Hell, oftentimes can barely stand Christians, and I am one! What's a body to do . . . *sigh* 

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nerdperson777
On 1/16/2018 at 10:55 AM, Planet Ace said:

Right?! One I had recently was a woman in my Sunday school class saying, in all seriousness, that "the purpose of life is to reproduce." I don't remember the context of that statement or what it had to do with the lesson, just that she said it. And I remember thinking, "Really? Really?!! Yikes."  I guess she thinks God made a whole lot of people with no purpose whatsoever, then, 'cause infertility is a thing. Probably thinks I'm a real slacker too, 'cause I don't have kids and have no plans to change that. And no one challenged that, either! If anyone else disagreed with her statement, they kept it to themselves. I felt very much alone and alienated in that moment, I didn't know what to say. What could I say? What do you say to someone who thinks that, that could make them understand? Very discouraging. 

My theatre professor:

Isn't it sad that [guy in play] loves [girl] but can't consummate it?

It's impressive that they could spend a whole night talking and not have sex.

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if only I was a dragon
On 1/11/2018 at 8:25 AM, SallyBlackwater said:

Having someone act weirdly nice to you and, since you're no good at reading that kind of situation, not being sure if they're trying to flirt or they're just being super friendly....

Me. At first I didn't consider that it might be flirting at all and ended up in some really awkward situations, and now I'm just overly wary and feel like every guy that I don't know who strikes up a conversation with me wants something. And you know what, I'm in college, they probably do.

Worst of all, according to my parents, my cheerful-friendly mood comes across as definitely-flirting and I really really hope that they're not right about that and simply being over-interpreting parents. Dear world, I just want to be friendly or friends. I have no other kind of interest in you. Seriously.

 

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nerdperson777
2 hours ago, if only I was a dragon said:

Me. At first I didn't consider that it might be flirting at all and ended up in some really awkward situations, and now I'm just overly wary and feel like every guy that I don't know who strikes up a conversation with me wants something. And you know what, I'm in college, they probably do.

Worst of all, according to my parents, my cheerful-friendly mood comes across as definitely-flirting and I really really hope that they're not right about that and simply being over-interpreting parents. Dear world, I just want to be friendly or friends. I have no other kind of interest in you. Seriously.

Same.  Now I'm paranoid that everything has a sexual connotation instead of missing it.

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That time when...

You are trying to be friendly with a physician at work and your co-workers accuse you of flirting.  I just wanted my orders written :(

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SallyBlackwater
3 hours ago, if only I was a dragon said:

Me. At first I didn't consider that it might be flirting at all and ended up in some really awkward situations, and now I'm just overly wary and feel like every guy that I don't know who strikes up a conversation with me wants something. And you know what, I'm in college, they probably do.

Worst of all, according to my parents, my cheerful-friendly mood comes across as definitely-flirting and I really really hope that they're not right about that and simply being over-interpreting parents. Dear world, I just want to be friendly or friends. I have no other kind of interest in you. Seriously.

 

Yeah right? And maybe you ended up missing out on friendships because you thought they were flirting and you started holding back because you didn't want them to think that you were flirting back *sigh*

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On 1/16/2018 at 7:55 PM, Planet Ace said:

"the purpose of life is to reproduce." [...]
What could I say? What do you say to someone who thinks that, that could make them understand?

That applies to the species, not to every individual. Otherwise, people who passed the age of fertility would be superfluous. There might have been times when that was so, but those are long gone - luckily.

 

Humans form groups, families, societies. They split responsibilities. And any individual can contribute to the thriving of a group, a family, a society, without reproducing personally.

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On 1/15/2018 at 6:07 PM, SallyBlackwater said:

I feel a bit weird everytime I read articles in which sex is listed as a "basic human need". It's always made me feel a bit like an alien D:

Reading that made me think of this:

 

25017290_137609433573183_811445054375513

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Describing a song as 'wet' as in soppy and boring. Got laughed at. Apparently wet has another meaning.

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Unfortunately, it does :huh:

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Having you mother ask you whether asexuals would join a fraternity or a soroity (don't think I spelled that right) and having to explain that asexual doesn't mean that I'm somehow not a girl #asexualproblems

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awkward_pterodactyl

Just helped my sister out with costumes for a dance production. Pretty much lived in the dressing room for a few days, and dancers are very comfortable with their bodies. Needless to say I saw more naked people this week than I ever wanted to. Also hearing them chat about sex constantly, and how it's a "basic human need"...

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2 minutes ago, awkward_pterodactyl said:

Just helped my sister out with costumes for a dance production. Pretty much lived in the dressing room for a few days, and dancers are very comfortable with their bodies. Needless to say I saw more naked people this week than I ever wanted to. Also hearing them chat about sex constantly, and how it's a "basic human need"...

Reminds me about the girls locker room. It’s so weird to know about others sex lives especially if they look like good kids🤯😱

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awkward_pterodactyl
5 minutes ago, :)(: said:

Reminds me about the girls locker room. It’s so weird to know about others sex lives especially if they look like good kids🤯😱

At my work people talk about their sex lives so much and it's nothing I ever wanted to know. At school, too.... I just don't get people :mellow:

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5 hours ago, awkward_pterodactyl said:

At my work people talk about their sex lives so much and it's nothing I ever wanted to know. At school, too.... I just don't get people :mellow:

They are just talking about something they really really enjoy. It’s not personal.

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Fantastic Name
8 hours ago, :)(: said:

Reminds me about the girls locker room. It’s so weird to know about others sex lives especially if they look like good kids🤯😱

And this is why I'm glad I never get put with my friends in gym class. I can't unhear that kind of stuff. :lol:

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SallyBlackwater

I'm a bit tired of people assuming that if someone has never had a partner, they must be gay. There's nothing wrong with it of course, but still it's not true, and it shows that most people don't even consider the fact that someone might want to stay single.

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nerdperson777
On 1/20/2018 at 3:30 AM, roland.o said:

Humans form groups, families, societies. They split responsibilities. And any individual can contribute to the thriving of a group, a family, a society, without reproducing personally.

I read the article for Stanford University.  The founders of the school were a married couple whose son died young.  They decided to create the school, name it after their son, and the students are their children.  The full official name of Stanford University actually is something like [name of son, which is also the father's] Stanford Junior University.

 

On 1/20/2018 at 11:52 PM, JadziaAce said:

Having you mother ask you whether asexuals would join a fraternity or a soroity (don't think I spelled that right) and having to explain that asexual doesn't mean that I'm somehow not a girl #asexualproblems

I didn't know what I wanted to join either.  I would've probably suffocated in a sorority but a frat might've been too manly for me.  My university now has queer frats now so there's something going on now.

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FinneganCatch

Having a night out with friends and have them continually but how sexually frustrated they are because their BF/GF/SO is out on deployment/tasking/course and they are stuck doing long distance for however long #asexualproblems

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WoodwindWhistler
On 1/20/2018 at 6:30 AM, roland.o said:

That applies to the species, not to every individual. Otherwise, people who passed the age of fertility would be superfluous. There might have been times when that was so, but those are long gone - luckily.

 

Humans form groups, families, societies. They split responsibilities. And any individual can contribute to the thriving of a group, a family, a society, without reproducing personally.

I recommend Googling the "grandmother hypothesis." It posits that the extended non-reproductive life of females in humans serves the purpose of additional teaching and raising of complex offspring. Our species may have literally created deliberate sterility to provide extra nurturing, wisdom, and stability of the group. 

Add that to "responsive desire" and we are actually a pretty non-sexual species, as species go. 

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13 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I didn't know what I wanted to join either.  I would've probably suffocated in a sorority but a frat might've been too manly for me.  My university now has queer frats now so there's something going on now.

My college has a "forority." Besides being really fun to say, it's basically a Greek group that is open to people of whatever gender (though it still seems to be mostly binary gendered people).

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Fantastic Name
7 hours ago, Andiamo said:

My college has a "forority." Besides being really fun to say, it's basically a Greek group that is open to people of whatever gender (though it still seems to be mostly binary gendered people).

Whoever came up with that word deserves a cookie.

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WoodwindWhistler
On 1/18/2018 at 1:25 AM, if only I was a dragon said:

Me. At first I didn't consider that it might be flirting at all and ended up in some really awkward situations, and now I'm just overly wary and feel like every guy that I don't know who strikes up a conversation with me wants something. And you know what, I'm in college, they probably do.

Worst of all, according to my parents, my cheerful-friendly mood comes across as definitely-flirting and I really really hope that they're not right about that and simply being over-interpreting parents. Dear world, I just want to be friendly or friends. I have no other kind of interest in you. Seriously.

 

Maybe you should get a few T-shirts with this on it. 

https://www.google.com/search?q=mistaken+as+flirting+meme&rlz=1C1AOHY_enUS708US709&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjxt5i-v_HYAhUB0FMKHZemDwYQ_AUICigB&biw=1093&bih=509#imgrc=_

You couldn't wear it *every* day, but it would work for people you see regularly (and on days you had it). Or you could talk about the meme often. :P

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nerdperson777
13 hours ago, Andiamo said:

My college has a "forority." Besides being really fun to say, it's basically a Greek group that is open to people of whatever gender (though it still seems to be mostly binary gendered people).

Yeah, one time I had to go to a communication workshop for club officers at my university, and I joined a gender discussion thinking that I would find some other trans people there.  All I got was a guy from a frat and a girl from a sorority talking about how close they are with their group because of their gender that they'd do anything for each other.  My friend went to the sexual orientation group and told people that she was asexual.  Usually when people purposely go to the sexual orientation group, they think you're gay.  So people thought she was gay at first.

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On my Instagram explore feed I just had the following "funny" post: 

"I found the opposite of F+ (friendship plus in my language = friends with benefits).

 

R-.

 

Relationship without sex."

 

... Ha ha. *rolls eyes* 🙄

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I was told this recently: (what they said in itallic, my thoughts in bold)

 

 I think you're not doing yourself any favors, by denying yourself like that.

 

Um, nope. Not denying myself. I don't think you know what that word means. Denying myself would be applicable if I wanted sex. I don't, soooo....

 

Be yourself, live it up and live life to the fullest.

 

I am being myself, though....just no the self you want or expect me to be.

 

I don't know if your history [of abuse] is the cause of why you're like this, but you could look into it.

 

Already did that, genius. The two are not related, soooo...what else you got?

 

Just know I'm not saying any of this to make you feel bad...

 

Nah, it's expected actually. I don't mind hearing the same nonsense over and over. I could turn it into a game of Bingo!

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On 1/24/2018 at 6:34 PM, nerdperson777 said:

Yeah, one time I had to go to a communication workshop for club officers at my university, and I joined a gender discussion thinking that I would find some other trans people there.  All I got was a guy from a frat and a girl from a sorority talking about how close they are with their group because of their gender that they'd do anything for each other.  My friend went to the sexual orientation group and told people that she was asexual.  Usually when people purposely go to the sexual orientation group, they think you're gay.  So people thought she was gay at first.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay... cis pride events... /s

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While watching videos, I get, of all things, a condom ad.

 

"Look at this fella. Handsome, charming, and has undetected STD. Get protection."

 

Me: ".....Google, aren't you supposed to tailor ads to me? Since WHEN do you think I'll get in bed with mister handsome charming? You couldn't pick a more irrelevant ad for me."

 

So I went on Google to add/remove add topics.

 

"Uuh...disclude 'sex'? Nope, doesn't recognize it. 'Intercou-' doesn't recognize it either. Hm. Condoms! Oh jeez, doesn't recognize it either.."

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