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#AsexualProblems


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On 2/21/2020 at 8:13 AM, nerdperson777 said:

Me: *gets a friend*

Parents: Is it a boy or girl?  What's their name?  What do they look like?  What do they like?  What race are they?  jhfkdfsklHELAJKHDSAjkhdgsnjfdmsnsfshjkfdgncx

 

Calm down.  What do you think I learned in like an hour?  And if I'm not curious enough to ask about their family or whatever, it's my fault for not being curious enough to ask.

Oh god yes.... Without the what race are they. 

 

 

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True story:

Some person in real life was talking to me about the world of dating and trying to flirt with me or something for about 30 minutes.

 

Me (saying to myself): THIS IS VERY AWKWARD AND UNCOMFORTABLE, I'm aromantic asexual and single by choice!!!! Hope this person gets the message and stops talking...

 

No romance, no sex, these are my boundaries, these are my rules.

 

#asexualproblems #aromanticproblems

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QuirkyMongoose555
On 2/27/2020 at 2:33 AM, nerdperson777 said:

Teacher: My nose is clogged.  I need to get a tissue.

Me: I'm already clogged.  (I was kind of getting a cold or allergies so my nose was stuffy already.)

Teacher: I can take that another way.

Me: Noo. *in a monotone slightly irritated voice*

Am I having an ace moment? I am not understanding the innuendo with "clogged".

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deletingthisaccount
On 2/27/2020 at 4:58 AM, stampoc said:

True story:

Some person in real life was talking to me about the world of dating and trying to flirt with me or something for about 30 minutes.

 

Me (saying to myself): THIS IS VERY AWKWARD AND UNCOMFORTABLE, I'm aromantic asexual and single by choice!!!! Hope this person gets the message and stops talking...

 

No romance, no sex, these are my boundaries, these are my rules.

 

#asexualproblems #aromanticproblems

Yes! I feel like even just with friends/peers/colleagues, no one can take the hint that I'm legitimately uninterested in relationships or sex. I reeeeeeally have to spell it out. With one group, I finally had to just tell them I was aro-ace because no matter what I said, they would ask about my relationships/love life, over the couple months I spent with them.

 

  • Asked if I'm in a relationship, interested in one, etc. I told them I'm not.
  • Asked about my past relationships. I told them I've never been in one.
  • Asked what I do for sex, since I'm not in relationships. I told them I've never had sex, and am not interested in having any.
  • My hopes for marriage, children, etc.? I told them I am not interested in that either.
  • Who my "crush" is? I told them I don't have one.
  • Offered to set me up with several other people. I told them I'm not interested.
  • Asked me when I'm planning on being in a relationship. I told them I am never planning on being in one.
  • What my "type" was? I told them I don't have a "type" and am not interested in anyone like that.
  • Asked me if I thought anyone at our university was "cute." At that point, I just decided to tell them. They actually took it better than I thought.

But yeah, I've found that unless I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeally clear, people don't understand. #aroaceproblems

 

 

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MakeupJunkie4
6 hours ago, QuirkyMongoose555 said:

Am I having an ace moment? I am not understanding the innuendo with "clogged".

I think it can be taken as one needing to orgasm to ah.... "unclog" things....?

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10 hours ago, Ace_of_Spades07 said:

Yes! I feel like even just with friends/peers/colleagues, no one can take the hint that I'm legitimately uninterested in relationships or sex. I reeeeeeally have to spell it out. With one group, I finally had to just tell them I was aro-ace because no matter what I said, they would ask about my relationships/love life, over the couple months I spent with them.

 

  • Asked if I'm in a relationship, interested in one, etc. I told them I'm not.
  • Asked about my past relationships. I told them I've never been in one.
  • Asked what I do for sex, since I'm not in relationships. I told them I've never had sex, and am not interested in having any.
  • My hopes for marriage, children, etc.? I told them I am not interested in that either.
  • Who my "crush" is? I told them I don't have one.
  • Offered to set me up with several other people. I told them I'm not interested.
  • Asked me when I'm planning on being in a relationship. I told them I am never planning on being in one.
  • What my "type" was? I told them I don't have a "type" and am not interested in anyone like that.
  • Asked me if I thought anyone at our university was "cute." At that point, I just decided to tell them. They actually took it better than I thought.

But yeah, I've found that unless I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeally clear, people don't understand. #aroaceproblems

 

 

Aro/ace is not a logical conclusion to majority of people since it's not an option on their head. You can't lead conclusion to something that does not exist in your mind, no matter how logical that conclusion would be (even if you were aro/ace yourself). So that's why we need people who talk about these things with their real names. We need to make aro and ace "existing options" on general mindset by ourselves. So great that you helped the visibility to grow :)

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deletingthisaccount
2 hours ago, naakka said:

Aro/ace is not a logical conclusion to majority of people since it's not an option on their head. You can't lead conclusion to something that does not exist in your mind, no matter how logical that conclusion would be (even if you were aro/ace yourself). So that's why we need people who talk about these things with their real names. We need to make aro and ace "existing options" on general mindset by ourselves. So great that you helped the visibility to grow :)

Thank you, that's honestly really encouraging! I think that as an aro-ace (with also no interest in QPRs), I've felt more pressured to tell others, since [unoriented? Is that the word for no QPR interest??] aro-ace is literally all I am. It's hard to hide it, no matter how much I would like to. I'm by no means fully "out of the pantry" lol but I've told a decent amount of people.

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11 hours ago, Jenna444 said:

I think it can be taken as one needing to orgasm to ah.... "unclog" things....?

That sounded disgusting.

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12 hours ago, Ace_of_Spades07 said:

Thank you, that's honestly really encouraging! I think that as an aro-ace (with also no interest in QPRs), I've felt more pressured to tell others, since [unoriented? Is that the word for no QPR interest??] aro-ace is literally all I am. It's hard to hide it, no matter how much I would like to. I'm by no means fully "out of the pantry" lol but I've told a decent amount of people.

Yea, it can be exhausting if people around you think there's still "something more" to find out about you. Like, they literally know everything there's to know about you but they just don't believe it lol 😆

 

I don't know, "aroace not interested in any type of relationship" is the only thing I can come up with :D

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deletingthisaccount
5 hours ago, naakka said:

Yea, it can be exhausting if people around you think there's still "something more" to find out about you. Like, they literally know everything there's to know about you but they just don't believe it lol 😆

 

I don't know, "aroace not interested in any type of relationship" is the only thing I can come up with :D

Exactly! That's the problem. People feel like I'm hiding something from them. Like, no really, this is just who I am 😂 and I'll use that description too

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nerdperson777
On 2/29/2020 at 8:36 AM, QuirkyMongoose555 said:

Am I having an ace moment? I am not understanding the innuendo with "clogged".

Anyone's guess here is as good as mine.  But the proposed one sounds plausible.  I think there's some phrase about making sure "plumbing works" so I'd guess people have that to unclog.

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Supermarket cashier held my food shopping hostage (doubt it was deliberate, assume they've never met someone who doesn't want to be partnered up). They resumed scanning once I gave a reason *that made sense to them* as to why I don't want to have a boyfriend right now. One of the more uncomfortable moments as an ace in a public environment. Self-checkout stations are more appealing all of a sudden. 

 

To any cashiers - please don't do that.

 

To anyone who ends up facing a similar situation - you don't owe anyone an explanation & you don't need to "out" yourself unless you want to. 

 

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2 hours ago, Eutierria said:

Supermarket cashier held my food shopping hostage (doubt it was deliberate, assume they've never met someone who doesn't want to be partnered up). They resumed scanning once I gave a reason *that made sense to them* as to why I don't want to have a boyfriend right now. One of the more uncomfortable moments as an ace in a public environment. Self-checkout stations are more appealing all of a sudden. 

 

To any cashiers - please don't do that.

 

To anyone who ends up facing a similar situation - you don't owe anyone an explanation & you don't need to "out" yourself unless you want to. 

 

"Excuse me, but are you being paid to be a matchmaker? An interrogator? No? Please get back to scanning."

 

Probably how I'd respond to that. It's a bit rude, but so is prying.

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On 9/19/2013 at 2:24 AM, KillerDarling said:

Being the only one in the theater that is bored during the sex scenes. #asexual problems

yeah, same, I love Jessica Jones but there's a sex scene that goes on for way too long and I end up fast forwarding it 

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MakeupJunkie4
6 hours ago, Eutierria said:

Supermarket cashier held my food shopping hostage (doubt it was deliberate, assume they've never met someone who doesn't want to be partnered up). They resumed scanning once I gave a reason *that made sense to them* as to why I don't want to have a boyfriend right now. One of the more uncomfortable moments as an ace in a public environment. Self-checkout stations are more appealing all of a sudden. 

 

To any cashiers - please don't do that.

 

To anyone who ends up facing a similar situation - you don't owe anyone an explanation & you don't need to "out" yourself unless you want to. 

 

WHOA! Messed up. I can't believe some people, can't mind their damn business. Sorry to hear that happened to you.

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I'm sure some people would say that's just being a friendly neighbourhood grocer, or something like that. 🙄

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9 hours ago, Jenna444 said:

can't mind their damn business

 

9 hours ago, Snao Cone said:

being a friendly neighbourhood grocer

Somewhere in the middle?🤷🏻‍♀️😅

I wasn't expecting to be asked about my single status. Usually, it's the weather, whether it's been a busy day or something from recent news. There were 2 people in the queue behind me with trolleys but the cashier carried on talking without scanning...it was so uncomfortable that for a split second, I'd wondered how socially acceptable it would be to abandon the transaction completely 😅

 

--------------------------------------------------------

 

13 hours ago, Zectarash said:

Probably how I'd respond to that. It's a bit rude, but so is prying.

 

9 hours ago, Jenna444 said:

WHOA! Messed up. I can't believe some people, can't mind their damn business. Sorry to hear that happened to you.

 

9 hours ago, Snao Cone said:

I'm sure some people would say that's just being a friendly neighbourhood grocer, or something like that. 🙄

I've never had anyone else understand why situations like that can be so uncomfortable before. I had been relatively calm but became more anxious with every following question. I started to feel a headache coming on from trying to work out how to get out of that situation. A food shop should not be anxiety-inducing! 

 

I hadn't expected replies - Thank you ^_^ It feels really nice being able to share this with others who just "get it". 

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When people assume I have trust issues, I am another sexuality and I hate the opposite gender just because I say no to sex....#Don'tBelieveLiars #LiarsExist #AsexualProblems 

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12 hours ago, Eutierria said:

 

It feels really nice being able to share this with others who just "get it". 

I know that’s my favorite part of AVEN. It’s so great!

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On 3/2/2020 at 11:04 AM, Eutierria said:

Supermarket cashier held my food shopping hostage (doubt it was deliberate, assume they've never met someone who doesn't want to be partnered up). They resumed scanning once I gave a reason *that made sense to them* as to why I don't want to have a boyfriend right now. One of the more uncomfortable moments as an ace in a public environment. Self-checkout stations are more appealing all of a sudden. 

 

To any cashiers - please don't do that.

 

To anyone who ends up facing a similar situation - you don't owe anyone an explanation & you don't need to "out" yourself unless you want to. 

 

As someone who occasionally has to cashier, this is just unprofessional, and that’s pretty sad considering cashiering doesn’t require much professionalism. People want to check out and go, not get harassed and held up 🤦🏻‍♂️.

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StarrySkies

"You're too pretty to be single!"

Just that comment. Or any comments like it. #asexualproblems

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nerdperson777
On 3/2/2020 at 11:04 AM, Eutierria said:

Supermarket cashier held my food shopping hostage (doubt it was deliberate, assume they've never met someone who doesn't want to be partnered up). They resumed scanning once I gave a reason *that made sense to them* as to why I don't want to have a boyfriend right now. One of the more uncomfortable moments as an ace in a public environment. Self-checkout stations are more appealing all of a sudden. 

 

To any cashiers - please don't do that.

 

To anyone who ends up facing a similar situation - you don't owe anyone an explanation & you don't need to "out" yourself unless you want to. 

 

One of my friends from college would always make avoiding eye contact jokes with me.  At the store, that's our main reason for going to the self-checkout lines.  There is some irony in ourselves though.  We're supposed to be hardcore introverts yet I decided to study theatre after taking one class and she decided to join a health advocate organization after taking a public speaking class.  She's going to be a nurse or something along that line so she has to talk to people more than me.

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>stranger encourages bromances because men can have romantic flavored friendship, and that's fine

>stranger refuses to understand split attraction model because they have a few interactions that are coupled

 

ERuCUk4.jpg 

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nerdperson777
20 hours ago, SassPass said:

ERuCUk4.jpg 

Is this cat a new meme?  Last week I saw this cat next to a banana.  The cat was labeled "me confused AF" and the banana was "people talking about sexual attraction".

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3 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Is this cat a new meme?  Last week I saw this cat next to a banana.  The cat was labeled "me confused AF" and the banana was "people talking about sexual attraction".

It's an old meme that's getting a small renaissance. It's a good face. 

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nerdperson777

My ears are faulty and I hear the wrong things.  A demi-something girl was saying that she had to get gas.  There was too much noise so I did not hear the G.  As I type this, I'm now wondering if it's that autistic thing I heard about when it's hard to multitask hearing.

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On 3/12/2020 at 1:33 AM, nerdperson777 said:

My ears are faulty and I hear the wrong things.  A demi-something girl was saying that she had to get gas.  There was too much noise so I did not hear the G.  As I type this, I'm now wondering if it's that autistic thing I heard about when it's hard to multitask hearing.

:lol: Maybe she had developed a close emotional bond with the gas, idk... :P

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The ever-present question of should I or should I not come out. Like, why bother telling my family if it’s really just that nothing has changed? I guess this is more of an ace version of a coming out dilemma #asexualproblems

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