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#AsexualProblems


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14 hours ago, I'm No One said:

Sometimes I forget that just because I'm not sexually attracted to other people it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not attracted to me. I typically don't pick up on it when someone is flirting with me.

For example: I remember one time I was on a trip with my church youth group, I was sitting on this loveseat and one of the boys decided to sit next to me. One of the girls saw us and squeezed inbetween us. At that point I decided it was too crowded on the loveseat so I sat somewhere else. It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I was thinking about it that I realized what was going on.

 

In short, it once took me about 15 years to realize that this guy liked me.🤣

At least I can be fairly certain nobody will be attracted to me, for various reasons.

I don’t get why they both had to sit next to you. Was she trying to get in his way? All it did was make things awkward.

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7 hours ago, Lifesaver said:

My coworkers keep telling me that I am flirting with other staff at work.

 

 

I don't think I am? I try to be friendly, but who knows now

I’ve let quite a few coworkers know that I just don’t get romance in general. I just want a way to have like one of those digital overlay/sci-fi profile page thingies that appears over my head or something that states stuff like, “Does not understand romance. Is incapable of flirting.” It’d just prevent misunderstandings altogether.

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Asexual of Myth & Legend
3 hours ago, Bio 7 said:

At least I can be fairly certain nobody will be attracted to me, for various reasons.

I don’t get why they both had to sit next to you. Was she trying to get in his way? All it did was make things awkward.

I think she liked him and didn't want to risk me and him ending up together. I think it's kinda like the scenero you've seen in movies or TV where a guy and a girl are sitting together talking and laughing when someone who doesn't want the two together (usually someone who has a crush on one of them) decides to intervene by squeezing inbetween them.

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6 hours ago, I'm No One said:

I think she liked him and didn't want to risk me and him ending up together. I think it's kinda like the scenero you've seen in movies or TV where a guy and a girl are sitting together talking and laughing when someone who doesn't want the two together (usually someone who has a crush on one of them) decides to intervene by squeezing inbetween them.

I hate that classic thing, it makes me so annoyed with it.

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6 hours ago, Laplace said:

I’ve let quite a few coworkers know that I just don’t get romance in general. I just want a way to have like one of those digital overlay/sci-fi profile page thingies that appears over my head or something that states stuff like, “Does not understand romance. Is incapable of flirting.” It’d just prevent misunderstandings altogether.

If someone flirted with me I’d be baffled and a bit sad that they have such poor taste.

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This reminds me of something that happened to me years ago when my daughter was small.  Now I am a short small woman, and  was often mistaken for being younger than my actual age, simply because of my size. So I'm in the store and this guy asks if my daughter is my younger sister. I told him, no, she's my daughter. He acted surprised.

I told this story later and two of my friends laughed. "That was a come on!"

 

If it was, it went right over my head! 

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5 minutes ago, starweb said:

This reminds me of something that happened to me years ago when my daughter was small.  Now I am a short small woman, and  was often mistaken for being younger than my actual age, simply because of my size. So I'm in the store and this guy asks if my daughter is my younger sister. I told him, no, she's my daughter. He acted surprised.

I told this story later and two of my friends laughed. "That was a come on!"

 

If it was, it went right over my head! 

Oh the classic “you can’t possibly be that old” chestnut. Unless it’s an honest impression it just seems so forced and cringey.

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People would always say to me that I'm missing out when I told them that I am asexual, but I am content on who I am and I don't really miss sexual attraction since I don't even know what it is like in the first place. 

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On 9/24/2019 at 4:26 AM, Sammyxxyo said:

Hi I just made an account here. I don’t really know if I should post here or not(first time here) but I’ve always been confused about asexuality. I’ve read different things about it so I’m not really sure if I am or I’m just weird. I’m not open to talking about sexuality so I figured maybe I could here. If I’m in the wrong section could someone tell me where I could go to ask for clarity and to share my story.

It's okay to be confused.  Here is a place to learn.  I just used a random username I thought of on the spot because I didn't want to use my usual username.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to have my other accounts associated with this.  It still isn't, but I do post things from my accounts on other sites so they are kind of linked in a way.

 

On 9/25/2019 at 8:23 AM, i.r3beka said:

I’ve been “accused” of that before, but not in a disciplinary or bad way. I was actually being jokingly mean to my boss once because he was being rude and he said “are you hitting on me?”

 

Because I guess being  jokingly mean to people is considered flirtatious? Allos are confusing 

I sometimes really want to be in a situation where I can say, "sorry, I'm not straight."  Right now, I'm preparing for my teacher to make a shipping joke, like someone in our group being attracted to someone, who may be a fictional character or someone we know.  I want to be there to say, "stop trying to make us straight."

 

On 9/25/2019 at 12:37 PM, Bio 7 said:

At least I can be fairly certain nobody will be attracted to me, for various reasons.

I don’t get why they both had to sit next to you. Was she trying to get in his way? All it did was make things awkward.

I had the impression that she wanted "in" on the "action".  I thought "You had two guys with you.  Assuming monogamy, she might be thinking that she can take one of the guys for you."  There's always situations on TV where there are two guys and two girls, whether brothers or best friends, find a double date or something.

 

On 9/26/2019 at 6:02 AM, starweb said:

This reminds me of something that happened to me years ago when my daughter was small.  Now I am a short small woman, and  was often mistaken for being younger than my actual age, simply because of my size. So I'm in the store and this guy asks if my daughter is my younger sister. I told him, no, she's my daughter. He acted surprised.

I told this story later and two of my friends laughed. "That was a come on!"

 

If it was, it went right over my head! 

I just think about a time in my elementary school.  During lunch, sometimes people's parents come into the cafeteria to go to their kids, maybe give them food.  Also, we don't get let outside until a specified time.  There was this short mom trying to leave before the specified time.  The yard duty asked, "where do you think you're going, young lady?"  So the yard duty thought the mom was a student, from the back.  So the mom, yard duty, and one other teacher started laughing after they found out the mistake.

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4 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

 

I sometimes really want to be in a situation where I can say, "sorry, I'm not straight."  Right now, I'm preparing for my teacher to make a shipping joke, like someone in our group being attracted to someone, who may be a fictional character or someone we know.  I want to be there to say, "stop trying to make us straight."

THIS!!! Why do straight people sometimes 1. Assume everyone is straight and then 2. Try to convert people that come out to them?

 

i’ve had a couple of people argue with me that I’m “not really asexual, you just haven’t found the right person.” Wtf, I’ve only lived with myself all my life, I think I know myself better than you do, but thank you for that, random person. 

 

I’d love to counter with “you’re not really straight you just haven’t found the right man yet,” but I never think of it when it happens, only after. 

 

I also high key hate the conflation of romantic and sexual attraction / relationships. *stands on soapbox* An asexual female in a relationship with a male is still an asexual. An asexual female in a relationship with a female is still an asexual. An asexual male in a relationship with a female is still asexual. An asexual male in a relationship with a male is still an asexual. This has been a PSA, thank you. *steps off soap box.* Because I really hate that F + M asexual relationships are  called “basically straight,” and F + F / M + M relationships are called “basically gay.” 

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4 hours ago, i.r3beka said:

I also high key hate the conflation of romantic and sexual attraction / relationships. *stands on soapbox* An asexual female in a relationship with a male is still an asexual. An asexual female in a relationship with a female is still an asexual. An asexual male in a relationship with a female is still asexual. An asexual male in a relationship with a male is still an asexual. This has been a PSA, thank you. *steps off soap box.* Because I really hate that F + M asexual relationships are  called “basically straight,” and F + F / M + M relationships are called “basically gay.” 

Applause!

 

We are 'basically' asexual.  We're not 'straight' with something else mixed in. If anything, it's the other way around.

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Why does being nice have to = flirting/I like you/want to get to know you romantically to some people??? I can not understand... I just wanted to tell you I liked your jacket or liked your hairstyle. That didn't suddenly open the flood gates for you to be all over me. sigh.

 

sometimes I really feel like I'm doing something wrong on accident with people when I talk to them. I guess it's accidental flirting??? Or my expressions sometimes are mistaken for something I don't intend? Sometimes I blush when flustered I guess? But that doesn't mean anything ??? Some people just are embarrassed easily and I used to be a lot more shy when I was younger. I remember one of my high school friends said "I was a natural flirt". I have done nothing lol????? I never understood what I did... I just looked at someone and said hi and asked about their weekend. idgi. And then I remember another friend asked me if I liked so and so because I asked him something (I think it was about playing games together or some similar hobby we had), and I was like, "No??? Why would you think that?" and he didn't believe me ☠️ I wish I could stop whatever on earth I'm doing wrong 😭

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2 hours ago, Strifed said:

Why does being nice have to = flirting/I like you/want to get to know you romantically to some people??? I can not understand... I just wanted to tell you I liked your jacket or liked your hairstyle. That didn't suddenly open the flood gates for you to be all over me. sigh.

 

sometimes I really feel like I'm doing something wrong on accident with people when I talk to them. I guess it's accidental flirting??? Or my expressions sometimes are mistaken for something I don't intend? Sometimes I blush when flustered I guess? But that doesn't mean anything ???

 

-- I wish I could stop whatever on earth I'm doing wrong 😭

This! I've been wondering the same thing since my teens, and I still don't have the answer 😅 I suppose allosexual people simply expect sexual attraction everywhere, if that's where their own attention is focused for a remarkable extent.

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2 hours ago, naakka said:

This! I've been wondering the same thing since my teens, and I still don't have the answer 😅 I suppose allosexual people simply expect sexual attraction everywhere, if that's where their own attention is focused for a remarkable extent.

This! There’s a saying I’m reminded of

 

Bagoly mondja verébnek, hogy nagyfejű.

 

Owl says to sparrow, you have a big head. Basically as you live so you accuse. Though, in this case “so you accuse” might be swapped for so you expect. 🤔

 

In that case we can change it to bagoly mondja verébnek, egerekket eszel. 

 

Owl says to sparrow you eat mice.

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2 hours ago, naakka said:

This! I've been wondering the same thing since my teens, and I still don't have the answer 😅 I suppose allosexual people simply expect sexual attraction everywhere, if that's where their own attention is focused for a remarkable extent.

Probably! I can only speak for myself, but I suppose just like I expect close platonic relationships from people only, other people expect totally different things.... Seems like a lot of people are goal driven to be in a romantic + sexual relationship and act like it is the be all and end all, so I guess in that sense... it makes sense (from their perspective at least. I can't really figure it out :<)??? Their goal + attention is really focused on finding a suitable mate so... that could be part of the reason? 😅 (I feel like I sound like a nature show narrator talking about moose mating season at this point tbh LMAO)

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4 hours ago, Strifed said:

Probably! I can only speak for myself, but I suppose just like I expect close platonic relationships from people only, other people expect totally different things.... Seems like a lot of people are goal driven to be in a romantic + sexual relationship and act like it is the be all and end all, so I guess in that sense... it makes sense (from their perspective at least. I can't really figure it out :<)??? Their goal + attention is really focused on finding a suitable mate so... that could be part of the reason? 😅 (I feel like I sound like a nature show narrator talking about moose mating season at this point tbh LMAO)

Yea! I expect the basic "we're polite and at least get along", so when I meet a person who breaks that scheme in my head (rude/mean person) I just can't comprehend. It must feel the same for allopeople but you just swap "get along" to "have sexual chemistry" lol.

 

I can relate, I also often feel like a biologist living among another species and just taking notes to better survive among them xD

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When someone is annoyed or upset with you and they take it out on your asexuality or asexuality as a whole. Like being more condescending or belittling towards it - "You're asexual, you'll never understand my problems" or complaining that everything that's not straight or gay is special snowflakes bullshit. 

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I take compliments and people being nice to me as more as “Yay, someone actually gives enough of a damn about me to be polite,” versus “Oh are they in to me?” I mainly hope people don’t think I’m flirting for their sake. They’d just be disappointed when they realize I’m just this clueless man who’s just mainly trying really hard to not be a pessimist all the time.

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10 hours ago, naakka said:

Yea! I expect the basic "we're polite and at least get along", so when I meet a person who breaks that scheme in my head (rude/mean person) I just can't comprehend. It must feel the same for allopeople but you just swap "get along" to "have sexual chemistry" lol.

 

I can relate, I also often feel like a biologist living among another species and just taking notes to better survive among them xD

omg same! I've been doing it since middle school, trying to pick up on other people's romantic/sexual cues and thinking, "How do people feel X and I do not??". I used to try and force stuff that other people felt naturally, but realized that ain't the way to go :lol: I still have to take a few notes though like, "Don't hang out with Johnny alone because he might think it's a date. Always be with a group of people" which is lameee imo. Why can't two people just... hang out? And even telling them specifically "WE ARE HANGING OUT AS FRIENDS!" never clicks in some people's brains. I guess they just see what they want to see? Never understood it, but then again I/we're the minority here so... majority kinda rules and you gotta play by their rules to an extent...

 

1 hour ago, Laplace said:

I take compliments and people being nice to me as more as “Yay, someone actually gives enough of a damn about me to be polite,” versus “Oh are they in to me?” I mainly hope people don’t think I’m flirting for their sake. They’d just be disappointed when they realize I’m just this clueless man who’s just mainly trying really hard to not be a pessimist all the time.

yep and same! Sometimes I have felt the opposite though, "So and so was only being nice to me because they wanted to bone/wanted to date" and it's absolutely devastating when you think you've made a friend with someone, but then they get all salty out of the blue because "you don't text me enough and why are you talking to Dylan so much instead of me??? WHY DO YOU LIKE DYLAN!?!?!" and ???? Sometimes I'm utterly clueless that someone likes me like that (bc let's be honest. Some people are way more straightforward than others oof). I just thought we were friends because that's the way I normally see things: we're buddies! I guess normally guys become friends with girls to date them later??? Seems like that's the way it is most of the time with me personally, and it's a damn shame honestly. I think I complained about it before, but I really wish sometimes just men and women could be friends, but I think I finally understand that not everyone is wired the way I am, to just see other people as friends/bffs. Seems like after elementary school everyone just changes in that way ☠️ bc I used to have 98% all male friends, then middle school hit, "Are those your boyfriends!?!?! You must be dating one of them!"(then when I think back on it I think some people thought I was sleeping with them??? for some reason??? weird) and then after college... it's personally impossible for me to make new male friends 🙃 so now I have all girl friends, except for one guy I still talk to from high school who has no interest and another few friends, but sheesh guys. Why can't I play video games with you as a friend? I don't want to be your gamer gf, I want to be your buddy 💀 

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5 hours ago, Strifed said:

omg same! I've been doing it since middle school, trying to pick up on other people's romantic/sexual cues and thinking, "How do people feel X and I do not??". I used to try and force stuff that other people felt naturally, but realized that ain't the way to go :lol: I still have to take a few notes though like, "Don't hang out with Johnny alone because he might think it's a date. Always be with a group of people" which is lameee imo. Why can't two people just... hang out? And even telling them specifically "WE ARE HANGING OUT AS FRIENDS!" never clicks in some people's brains. I guess they just see what they want to see? Never understood it, but then again I/we're the minority here so... majority kinda rules and you gotta play by their rules to an extent...

 

yep and same! Sometimes I have felt the opposite though, "So and so was only being nice to me because they wanted to bone/wanted to date" and it's absolutely devastating when you think you've made a friend with someone, but then they get all salty out of the blue because "you don't text me enough and why are you talking to Dylan so much instead of me??? WHY DO YOU LIKE DYLAN!?!?!" and ???? Sometimes I'm utterly clueless that someone likes me like that (bc let's be honest. Some people are way more straightforward than others oof). I just thought we were friends because that's the way I normally see things: we're buddies! I guess normally guys become friends with girls to date them later??? Seems like that's the way it is most of the time with me personally, and it's a damn shame honestly. I think I complained about it before, but I really wish sometimes just men and women could be friends, but I think I finally understand that not everyone is wired the way I am, to just see other people as friends/bffs. Seems like after elementary school everyone just changes in that way ☠️ bc I used to have 98% all male friends, then middle school hit, "Are those your boyfriends!?!?! You must be dating one of them!"(then when I think back on it I think some people thought I was sleeping with them??? for some reason??? weird) and then after college... it's personally impossible for me to make new male friends 🙃 so now I have all girl friends, except for one guy I still talk to from high school who has no interest and another few friends, but sheesh guys. Why can't I play video games with you as a friend? I don't want to be your gamer gf, I want to be your buddy 💀 

If you’re fairly nice, pretty, and into video games, you’re gonna be on nearly every guy’s radar unfortunately 😧. It’s like the dream combo for most. Some guys sometimes don’t realize that yeah some girls play video games too, and they play them to have fun, not to necessarily appeal to guys. They aren’t these mythical unicorns; they exist and most are probably tired of getting hit on because of their hobby 😅. I try to treat people online as equals cause gender doesn’t really apply in virtual space. There could be a 10 yr old face behind the avatar that’s saving your butt, or some old grandma beating you up 😆.

 

It must suck to be the center of gossip. I had some small rumors bubble up in school sometimes like when I had this dumb rivalry with this girl and people started low-key shipping us. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Made me want to puke. Cease and desist plez. 

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3 hours ago, Laplace said:

If you’re fairly nice, pretty, and into video games, you’re gonna be on nearly every guy’s radar unfortunately 😧. It’s like the dream combo for most. Some guys sometimes don’t realize that yeah some girls play video games too, and they play them to have fun, not to necessarily appeal to guys. They aren’t these mythical unicorns; they exist and most are probably tired of getting hit on because of their hobby 😅. I try to treat people online as equals cause gender doesn’t really apply in virtual space. There could be a 10 yr old face behind the avatar that’s saving your butt, or some old grandma beating you up 😆.

 

It must suck to be the center of gossip. I had some small rumors bubble up in school sometimes like when I had this dumb rivalry with this girl and people started low-key shipping us. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Made me want to puke. Cease and desist plez. 

omg tell me about it. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting off guys 😩 and it killed a lot of fun I used to have at gaming events... I just wanted to go and play the game, not get hit on 24/7 or have some guy (or multiple) ogling or making crude jokes or oops I'm a "stuck up bitch" because I don't want to date you and just want to play the game like a normal person (like really? You just met me a week ago???? tf??? leave me alone?). I just don't go anymore :< or go to any events I know are male-dominated, sadly. I like going to events at my local library where mostly grannies and women my age-older show up 😆 No one is hitting on me and I can just peacefully do arts and crafts and talk about holiday baking. I also love when people think I'm a man during online gaming!!! My usernames are usually very masculine and most people assume other gamers are male :} And boys just play with me like a regular human being and I love it!!! It's a shame it has to be that way though... just treat women like people, and if you two happen to like one another, great! But stop trying to force stuff and stop being creepy.

 

Where does that mindset even come from that girls play games just for men? I only met one girl who tried to get into gaming to appeal to some guy and she quickly quit bc she didn't like games in the first place. Everyone else just genuinely plays because they enjoy it, just like any other hobby. 🤔 

 

It did. It was either I was sleeping with all my guy friends or a closeted lesbian since of course if I'm not dating my guy friends I'm gay 🙃 high school was fun 🙃 omg a rivalry? and then they shipped you over it? 😆 Don't rivals hate each other though? Why ship it...? I'm sorry you had to go through that too though :<

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2 minutes ago, Strifed said:

omg tell me about it. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting off guys 😩 and it killed a lot of fun I used to have at gaming events... I just wanted to go and play the game, not get hit on 24/7 or have some guy (or multiple) ogling or making crude jokes or oops I'm a "stuck up bitch" because I don't want to date you and just want to play the game like a normal person (like really? You just met me a week ago???? tf??? leave me alone?). I just don't go anymore :< or go to any events I know are male-dominated, sadly. I like going to events at my local library where mostly grannies and women my age-older show up 😆 No one is hitting on me and I can just peacefully do arts and crafts and talk about holiday baking. I also love when people think I'm a man during online gaming!!! My usernames are usually very masculine and most people assume other gamers are male :} And boys just play with me like a regular human being and I love it!!! It's a shame it has to be that way though... just treat women like people, and if you two happen to like one another, great! But stop trying to force stuff and stop being creepy.

 

Where does that mindset even come from that girls play games just for men? I only met one girl who tried to get into gaming to appeal to some guy and she quickly quit bc she didn't like games in the first place. Everyone else just genuinely plays because they enjoy it, just like any other hobby. 🤔 

 

It did. It was either I was sleeping with all my guy friends or a closeted lesbian since of course if I'm not dating my guy friends I'm gay 🙃 high school was fun 🙃 omg a rivalry? and then they shipped you over it? 😆 Don't rivals hate each other though? Why ship it...? I'm sorry you had to go through that too though :<

It hurts my soul to see so many gamers be super thirsty and weird about girls; it gives me such a bad second hand reputation ☹️. Like I may be not be a social butterfly but I don’t pester girls with dumb BS. People have assumed I’m too nerdy or awkward to get laid/get a partner and I’m just like, “Uhh not every socially imperfect gamer guy is worrying obsessively over their virginity 😒.” It disguises me being ace a bit too well.

 

Anonymity is a great thing sometimes. Male avatar? Nobody even thinks twice. Female avatar? Enough guys play as one so it’s easy to pass yourself as a guy anyways :p. Though can’t stop people from creeping on you if you speak on a voice chat 😬😑.

 

People think it’s cute when two people argue in school 🤦🏻‍♂️. It’s the “like an old married couple” trope. Idk how anyone thinks that constant arguing is romantic in any way; they must have a twisted view of relationships 🤷🏻‍♂️. They’ve watched too much anime or romance shows. And, I guess there’s a reason why people like pairing rivals and even enemies in weird fanfics 😖.

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Even if you are speaking on voice chat, a girl can probably pass herself off as a prepubescent boy too.  Then if they keep flirting with you, you can just hand off the chats to the FBI or Chris Hanson and the problem will take care of itself.

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On 9/28/2019 at 2:48 AM, i.r3beka said:

THIS!!! Why do straight people sometimes 1. Assume everyone is straight and then 2. Try to convert people that come out to them?

Sorry, my thing was an actual joke.  I make not straight jokes with my teacher all the time.  There is one class where none of us are straight, her, and us as students.  So we're too busy making not straight jokes to actually learn anything in that class.

 

12 hours ago, Strifed said:

(then when I think back on it I think some people thought I was sleeping with them??? for some reason??? weird) and then after college... it's personally impossible for me to make new male friends 🙃 so now I have all girl friends, except for one guy I still talk to from high school who has no interest and another few friends, but sheesh guys. Why can't I play video games with you as a friend? I don't want to be your gamer gf, I want to be your buddy 💀 

My ace vibes must be strong because most of my friends get mistaken for my siblings instead of partners.  Or maybe I'm too clueless when people think I'm a couple with another person.

 

Most of my friends have been girls, probably because my mom made me paranoid that having male friends would lead to sexual assault, or accidentally impregnate me.  I had one guy friend at best most of the time.  My friend in elementary school moved so that mostly ended there.  That one people made fun of us.  My friend in high school, he was feminine and ended up being bi so he fit into my usual group.  I actually met up with him two nights ago for dinner after a few years.  We played online games sometimes

 

But yeah, I wish people can just be friends.  A guy online liked me, but once I did the math, I realized that he started crushing me since the first month he was talking to me regularly.  Two years of friendship went down the drain just like that.

 

9 hours ago, Laplace said:

If you’re fairly nice, pretty, and into video games, you’re gonna be on nearly every guy’s radar unfortunately 😧. It’s like the dream combo for most. Some guys sometimes don’t realize that yeah some girls play video games too, and they play them to have fun, not to necessarily appeal to guys. They aren’t these mythical unicorns; they exist and most are probably tired of getting hit on because of their hobby 😅. I try to treat people online as equals cause gender doesn’t really apply in virtual space. There could be a 10 yr old face behind the avatar that’s saving your butt, or some old grandma beating you up 😆.

 

It must suck to be the center of gossip. I had some small rumors bubble up in school sometimes like when I had this dumb rivalry with this girl and people started low-key shipping us.

I guess I was way too clueless or something.  Or maybe I never sounded like I was flirty?  I don't really recall any guys except that one guy I was friends with online that really came onto me.  I guess maybe there was this one guy who was uncomfortably close during some of my games.  He didn't really pursue me more than that one time.  

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On 9/28/2019 at 4:28 PM, Strifed said:

Why does being nice have to = flirting/I like you/want to get to know you romantically to some people??? I can not understand... I just wanted to tell you I liked your jacket or liked your hairstyle. That didn't suddenly open the flood gates for you to be all over me. sigh.

 

sometimes I really feel like I'm doing something wrong on accident with people when I talk to them. I guess it's accidental flirting??? Or my expressions sometimes are mistaken for something I don't intend? Sometimes I blush when flustered I guess? But that doesn't mean anything ??? Some people just are embarrassed easily and I used to be a lot more shy when I was younger. I remember one of my high school friends said "I was a natural flirt". I have done nothing lol????? I never understood what I did... I just looked at someone and said hi and asked about their weekend. idgi. And then I remember another friend asked me if I liked so and so because I asked him something (I think it was about playing games together or some similar hobby we had), and I was like, "No??? Why would you think that?" and he didn't believe me ☠️ I wish I could stop whatever on earth I'm doing wrong 😭

 

I was called a flirt and a chaser when I was in high school because I liked to hang out with guys. I just liked what they liked and I could NOT convince anyone that I didn't want to date any of them! It would not have bothered me in the least if they had thought of me as 'one of the guys'.  I was in it for friendship but trying to convince anyone else of that was almost impossible. 

 

If a guy makes a joke, and you laugh, apparently that's flirting. 

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probably insane

why am i forced to endure sex ed classes... can i just not?? aha

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39 minutes ago, starweb said:

 

If a guy makes a joke, and you laugh, apparently that's flirting. 

Are you serious? That’s.....I don’t even know. And here I’ve been laughing at jokes because I genuinely found them funny. 

 

At least in real life anyway. Online if I say “haha,” it’s either because I genuinely think something is funny OR if I said something serious but want to lighten the severity of what I said. Like when I’m poor and I make a joke about having “ramen for dinner haha.” It’s not funny that I’m low on cash, but I don’t want my complaint to be taken as asking for help, and it could always be worse🤷🏻‍♀️ {Ramen beats starving so it’s NBD}.

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1 hour ago, starweb said:

If a guy makes a joke, and you laugh, apparently that's flirting.

Context is very important here, while in some cases yes, laughing at a joke might be seen as flirtatious, it is not always seen that way. When a guy tells a joke to a group of people and they laugh he knows they are not all flirting with him. Now if someone laughs more than is normal for a joke, then that comes across as flirtatious. I wish I could explain it better but there is a very fine line between laughing-because-its-funny and laughing-because-flirting. For those who are good at reading body language it is pretty easy to spot the difference, although it is subtle. The way they laugh, how long they laugh, what their eyes are doing, etc. all contribute to telling apart a normal laugh from a flirt laugh.

 

Also some guys seem to overestimate how much a girl likes them, so if the guy in question is one of those and a girl laughs at his joke, he would instantly take it as flirting regardless of how innocent the laugh might have been. The frame of mind of the joke-teller is important in determining whether the laugh will be taken innocently or flirtatiously.

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I tend to laugh a lot; mainly cause I use it to lighten my constant complaining 😅. So I’m oddly a bit too liberal with my laughs despite being someone who used to have a reputation for being too serious.

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