#AsexualProblems

[Comrade F&F]

7 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

I heard that Freud came up with a mentality for women accusing men of rape.  First, he believed the men instead of the women.  He rationalized that the women just fantasized it.  So all these women accusing these highly respected men of rape were actually lying, and yes, fantasized about being raped.  I don't see how that makes sense at all.  Who actually wants to be raped?

Well, Freud got a lot of things wrong and he's been disproven over the years. He may have gotten a few points right, but with a lot of 'ifs' and 'buts' attached to it.

 

And people have weird fetishes. As long as they're all consenting mature healthy adults and they do it behind the privacy of close doors...what works for them, I guess.

 

(Not defending Freud here, because not much can defend him and his absurdities)

[Guest]

I love that we’re all icked out by Freud. This is a good community 🙌🏼

[Comrade F&F]

12 hours ago, chairdesklamp said:

@quasarshift Well, when I went to college (majored in Social & Behavioural Science) Not only did my Psychology 101 teacher ONLY teach Freud (discredited), my Social Psychology teacher insisted that we pair with "people who look like us because we're really in love with ourselves." 

 

So, I mean, apparently, being a moron/wrong doesn't proclude you from teaching. 

I remember in my Physics classes they'd tell us, "Everything you learn now will be proven wrong next year." Newton's theories won't match up to Einstein, but both are still important to learn. You have to understand the beginning concepts first.

 

I wonder if that's the same thing with Psychology? They start teaching Freud to later explain why he's wrong. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Feys&Florets said:

I remember in my Physics classes they'd tell us, "Everything you learn now will be proven wrong next year." Newton's theories won't match up to Einstein, but both are still important to learn. You have to understand the beginning concepts first.

 

I wonder if that's the same thing with Psychology? They start teaching Freud to later explain why he's wrong. 

Maybe. I’m 2 years away from earning my Bachelors in Psychology, and from what I understand Freud was famous for being one of the first psychologists {he was there in its infancy, though psychology as a branch of philosophy goes to Ancient Greece}, for his emphasis on unconsciousness as a major factor of behavior, and for his stages of development and the roles of parenting.

 

Definately not palatable stuff. Modern psychology as I understand it is now composed of two camps, the ones that want psychology to be only focused on observable behaviors, research, and experiments {behaviorism}, and another that acknowledges cognition and humanistic tendencies as important and even determinant to behavior {cognitive psychology, humanistic psychology}. Those three schools flourish even today, while psychoanalysis is a relic of psychology.

[starweb]

 

I thought about putting this in the abortion debate thread but to be honest, this isn't about THAT.  A lot of my friends are political and I'm seeing a lot of posts from both sides pop up on my Facebook feed. One reoccurring theme I keep seeing over and over is when someone suggests that men need to keep it in their pants, someone else always argues that sex is necessary for survival.  They believe we need sex to survive. At first, I thought they meant the survival of the species, but no, they mean individuals so I guess a lot of us here have discovered the secret to immortality or something.

 

I have hesitated from expressing anything because I'm not 'out' to anyone and I don't know who can see my comments, but I always want to say "My asexual friends would like a word', but then the diehards won't believe me or argue that there's something 'wrong'.

 

 

[Liana]

Freud was strange. For some reason he was discusssed the most in the personality unit of my psychology class. Is it bad that when I signed up for my psychology class, last year, that I didn’t think that sex would be discussed at all in the class?

 

[Laplace]

11 hours ago, starweb said:

 

I thought about putting this in the abortion debate thread but to be honest, this isn't about THAT.  A lot of my friends are political and I'm seeing a lot of posts from both sides pop up on my Facebook feed. One reoccurring theme I keep seeing over and over is when someone suggests that men need to keep it in their pants, someone else always argues that sex is necessary for survival.  They believe we need sex to survive. At first, I thought they meant the survival of the species, but no, they mean individuals so I guess a lot of us here have discovered the secret to immortality or something.

 

I have hesitated from expressing anything because I'm not 'out' to anyone and I don't know who can see my comments, but I always want to say "My asexual friends would like a word', but then the diehards won't believe me or argue that there's something 'wrong'.

 

 

As a 25 year old guy who has never had sex, I can be reasonably confident that I won’t die if I don’t have sex. In fact, I’m in better shape than a lot of people my age so... 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Zebrafinch]

6 hours ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said:

Is it bad that when I signed up for my psychology class, last year, that I didn’t think that sex would be discussed at all in the class?

 

I'm going to say it's ace. Very ace

[Liana]

6 hours ago, Zebrafinch said:

I'm going to say it's ace. Very ace

Sadly, and my class had an entire unit basically dedicated to it. There was 1 slide in the entire presentation about emotion that was about emotion.

[shyomegawolf]

The conversation always going to sex or sexual experiences, but you being the only ace in the group and having to talk about not liking sex in way that they don't suspect somethings up.  

Edited May 20, 2019 by shyomegawolf

[shyomegawolf]

21 hours ago, Zebrafinch said:

I'm going to say it's ace. Very ace

when I did attended my community college I did't think we'd be discussing sex at all and caught me off guard but I learned a lot form the other side despite being caught off guard 

[Destan]

I feel bad for my female classmates, because there's another guy who keeps trying to pursue them.

He doesn't understand what he does wrong even after someone told him what exactly the problem is.

According to some classmates, he makes girls and a male classmate uncomfortable. He also doesn't stop bothering them if he knows the girls are single.

Some of my female classmates are legit scared of him finding out they're single again.

It annoys me to hear there are people like that. People like him should respect others who don't have an interest in him and leave them alone.

I rarely talk with this guy so I don't really know him, but he sounds like an annoying fellow who's very desperate.

He also seems like a person who doesn't know how to talk to women, which is one of the problems.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

1 hour ago, Destan said:

I feel bad for my female classmates, because there's another guy who keeps trying to pursue them.

He doesn't understand what he does wrong even after someone told him what exactly the problem is.

According to some classmates, he makes girls and a male classmate uncomfortable. He also doesn't stop bothering them if he knows the girls are single.

Some of my female classmates are legit scared of him finding out they're single again.

It annoys me to hear there are people like that. People like him should respect others who don't have an interest in him and leave them alone.

I rarely talk with this guy so I don't really know him, but he sounds like an annoying fellow who's very desperate.

He also seems like a person who doesn't know how to talk to women, which is one of the problems.

Has a teacher been informed? This is actual harassment and if it's allowed to continue he'll get the idea it's ok.

[Destan]

39 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Has a teacher been informed? This is actual harassment and if it's allowed to continue he'll get the idea it's ok.

I don't think so(?) I think he knows it's not ok but tries to deny that.

It has happened before with other guys, but they backed off after a while. However this fellow is something else I guess.

That's kind of the reason I think why the girls talk badly about him but don't inform teachers about it.

I wouldn't know to which teacher they tell that because it's college. If the girls talk about him again, I'll ask why they haven't done that yet.

 

This happens online often because I actually don't see him even standing near any girls.

They have him on Facebook and throughout lunch break, I asked them a few times why they don't just block him there.

Many replied, they either have to use the same public transport as him or it will be hard if they have to collaborate with him in the future.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Well something needs to be done about it, this kind of behaviour can very easily escalate. 

[Zash]

On 5/19/2019 at 2:43 AM, Feys&Florets said:

I remember in my Physics classes they'd tell us, "Everything you learn now will be proven wrong next year." Newton's theories won't match up to Einstein, but both are still important to learn. You have to understand the beginning concepts first.

 

I wonder if that's the same thing with Psychology? They start teaching Freud to later explain why he's wrong. 

Yeah, you get re-taught physics a lot.  In grade school, you get one approximation of how physics works.  Then when you get to high school, it is "What you were taught in grade school is all wrong, here's how it really works."  Then in college:  "What you learned in high school is wrong, here is how it really works."  Same thing in post grad.  Then, when you have your PhD, it is "Yeah...  We still don't really fully understand how physics works...  Can you poke at this phenomena, and try to figure it out?"

[schroedingersdog]

3 hours ago, Zash said:

Yeah, you get re-taught physics a lot.  In grade school, you get one approximation of how physics works.  Then when you get to high school, it is "What you were taught in grade school is all wrong, here's how it really works."  Then in college:  "What you learned in high school is wrong, here is how it really works."  Same thing in post grad.  Then, when you have your PhD, it is "Yeah...  We still don't really fully understand how physics works...  Can you poke at this phenomena, and try to figure it out?"

Ain't that the truth. One of my professors who I had for multiple classes in undergrad said frequently: "Remember everything we told you about this in your general physics classes? Well, we lied!" And now in grad school it's like "Well we can figure out this one very specific thing but pretty much everything else is *shrug* who even knows, way too compicated" lol.

[SallyBlackwater]

My ace problem is the fact that even though I don't feel sexual attraction, I can still feel (and also quite strongly at times) aesthetic attraction. Also I find aesthetically attractive characteristics that usually are defined as "sexy". To make an example, Chris Hemsworth is one of my celebrity crushes, but my maximum fantasy regarding him is to be hugged by him, nothing else.

This might be an advantage when trying to "blend in" with people who don't know I'm ace (I can, and quite enthusiastically even, participate in a "hottest celebrities" discussion, even though the "hottest" part has a slightly different meaning to me), but it feels weird when talking to friends who know I'm ace but are probably not that educated about asexuality. It feels a little bit invalidating, like I can almost hear them say "oh wow, she says she's ace but then she's like 'OMG LOOK AT HIM ISN'T HE GORGEOUS'" even though I of course know myself and my feelings.

[Bronztrooper]

3 hours ago, Zash said:

Yeah, you get re-taught physics a lot.  In grade school, you get one approximation of how physics works.  Then when you get to high school, it is "What you were taught in grade school is all wrong, here's how it really works."  Then in college:  "What you learned in high school is wrong, here is how it really works."  Same thing in post grad.  Then, when you have your PhD, it is "Yeah...  We still don't really fully understand how physics works...  Can you poke at this phenomena, and try to figure it out?"

[Laplace]

4 hours ago, Destan said:

I don't think so(?) I think he knows it's not ok but tries to deny that.

It has happened before with other guys, but they backed off after a while. However this fellow is something else I guess.

That's kind of the reason I think why the girls talk badly about him but don't inform teachers about it.

I wouldn't know to which teacher they tell that because it's college. If the girls talk about him again, I'll ask why they haven't done that yet.

 

This happens online often because I actually don't see him even standing near any girls.

They have him on Facebook and throughout lunch break, I asked them a few times why they don't just block him there.

Many replied, they either have to use the same public transport as him or it will be hard if they have to collaborate with him in the future.

I wouldn’t give a crap about maintaining the status quo and dancing around the matter; potential bad actors need to be confronted. That’s how people who are actually predatory get away with crap; people are afraid to take action so nothing gets done. People need to stop accepting becoming victims and stand up for themselves. If someone kept pestering me to the point of it being harassment, you best believe I’m taking action. I’ve gone out of my way to ask to leave groups or not be grouped with certain people before cause they were ***holes. Can’t get along with everyone in the world, and on some occasions, that’s how it should be. And it’s actually possible to do something about it in school; at work you gotta deal with BS cause of office politics and team “cohesion” getting in the way. 

[nerdperson777]

@Destan I remember in high school, this one guy had a "friend" who kept irritating him.  He had a badminton racket with him, probably because he was taking the badminton unit in PE.  He took the racket from his backpack one day and kept chasing the friend around a picnic table where my friends were sitting for lunch.  He takes a rock and tries to hit it across the table at the friend.  Well, he missed.  He hit my friend right on the nose.  He then proceeded to: 1) Give my friend a dollar, 2) Say it's the friend's fault for running away from him, and 3) Continue chasing him.  The irony of it was that he had just asked another guy in our group during break how to pick up girls.  But that guy he asked was very proudly cishet and was willing to take off his pants to prove he was a guy when we joked that he was a girl.  He really didn't hold back hiding his attraction to girls.

 

6 hours ago, schroedingersdog said:

Ain't that the truth. One of my professors who I had for multiple classes in undergrad said frequently: "Remember everything we told you about this in your general physics classes? Well, we lied!" And now in grad school it's like "Well we can figure out this one very specific thing but pretty much everything else is *shrug* who even knows, way too compicated" lol.

Is that why physics is so hard?  I was great at math and chemistry, barely passed biology, but still felt like I knew nothing even when getting a B in physics?  That B only lasted for like mechanics.  I almost got a B in electricity & magnetism, forgot how I did in thermodynamics, and passed somehow with a C- in quantum.  I wasn't ever using any of the knowledge again since I switched majors after quantum.  My current degree doesn't have any physics requirements so I really have no reason to have taken all those lower division physics.

[Skycaptain]

When people don't believe you're asexual because you have a very lewd sense of humour 

[nerdperson777]

Just now, Skycaptain said:

When people don't believe you're asexual because you have a very lewd sense of humour 

One of my roommates showed the rest of us a video of them talking to their professor from a few years back.  They said that it looks like they have a boner, because of the pant ripples.  I just impulsively laughed while everyone else was silent.  I really hope they don't think that I suddenly got dirty minded.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

When you get the feeling a lot of people think you're secretly banging your car but too ashamed to admit it, when you are actually asexual.

[nerdperson777]

For a pair of lesbians, my roommates make quite a bit of dick jokes.  The one who says most of those jokes seems to be incredibly repulsed by them so I don't get why.  They freaked out that one time I accidentally left my packer in the sink.  Then they were watching some sex ed series on Netflix and they had the same reaction when a dick appeared on the screen.  They paused it so it was a back view of someone's butt with the dick right in between the legs.  Another day I was talking about how I sometimes sound "gay" so they went on YouTube and told me to look at this one YouTuber who has that voice.  I watched a video or two before, and I mentioned that the one I watched was a packer review, of the one I left in the sink.  It's funny because the guy rubs the packer all over his face during the video.  He pulled up the dick to show the testicles on the packer and my roommate freaked again.  I then learned that the name of the packer, the Pierre, was code name for pee-er.  Well, it's not an STP, but whatever.  Another time a few months back, we went to Walmart crafting aisle.  I was trying to talk to them when they kept looking down and back up.  It turned out that they wanted me to look that they put two foam balls near their crotch so that it would be like testicles.  The other roommate doesn't say anything too much probably because she's dysphoric about her own.

[Bronztrooper]

1 hour ago, nerdperson777 said:

For a pair of lesbians, my roommates make quite a bit of dick jokes.  The one who says most of those jokes seems to be incredibly repulsed by them so I don't get why.  They freaked out that one time I accidentally left my packer in the sink.  Then they were watching some sex ed series on Netflix and they had the same reaction when a dick appeared on the screen.  They paused it so it was a back view of someone's butt with the dick right in between the legs.  Another day I was talking about how I sometimes sound "gay" so they went on YouTube and told me to look at this one YouTuber who has that voice.  I watched a video or two before, and I mentioned that the one I watched was a packer review, of the one I left in the sink.  It's funny because the guy rubs the packer all over his face during the video.  He pulled up the dick to show the testicles on the packer and my roommate freaked again.  I then learned that the name of the packer, the Pierre, was code name for pee-er.  Well, it's not an STP, but whatever.  Another time a few months back, we went to Walmart crafting aisle.  I was trying to talk to them when they kept looking down and back up.  It turned out that they wanted me to look that they put two foam balls near their crotch so that it would be like testicles.  The other roommate doesn't say anything too much probably because she's dysphoric about her own.

It might just be their sense of humor.  I mean, I have no interest in sex, but I can pick up on sex jokes/innuendos pretty well and even find them amusing (as long as they aren't overly graphic).  Could be the same for them.

 

Or they could just be laughing at the jokes because they don't like the dangly bits, as a way of making fun of them.  I'm just guessing, though, as I obviously don't know them.

 

Also, when you mentioned a 'packer', I immediately thought of a something cylindrical, like a roll of coins, not something meant to look roughly like at.... well, 'pecker' (  ).  Maybe that was my aceness.

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

17 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

Also, when you mentioned a 'packer', I immediately thought of a something cylindrical, like a roll of coins, not something meant to look roughly like at.... well, 'pecker' (  ).  Maybe that was my aceness.

Also, it's probably something one isn't going to hear/know about unless they talk to transmasc folk a good bit.

[Bronztrooper]

44 minutes ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

Also, it's probably something one isn't going to hear/know about unless they talk to transmasc folk a good bit.

Good point

[nerdperson777]

On 5/21/2019 at 4:55 PM, Bronztrooper said:

Also, when you mentioned a 'packer', I immediately thought of a something cylindrical, like a roll of coins, not something meant to look roughly like at.... well, 'pecker' (  ).  Maybe that was my aceness.

The only other packer I could think of is an American football team, and even then I don't really know what a packer is in that context, as I don't know much about sports.

[Custard Cream]

5 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

The only other packer I could think of is an American football team, and even then I don't really know what a packer is in that context, as I don't know much about sports.

There is someone who works in our company with the surname Packer. I saw it on a userlist yesterday and couldn't help smiling...