#AsexualProblems

[Strifed]

On 3/20/2019 at 1:30 AM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

@Strifed So this girl just took it upon herself to play matchmaker at work?  Not only is that annoying, it's also unprofessional.  Can't stand people that gotta be all up in everybody's private life.  It's a good thing this mess isn't happening to me because I would've told her point blank to mind her damn business and then watch the shock spread across her face. 😄

Yes 🙄 She even told me she's been trying to set him up for a while now ☠️ and ikr??? I don't think she's a bad person or anything, it's just annoying af when she does this... and I always heard it's a big no-no to try and date coworkers since if things go south things can get awkward or worse. Just... I hope this guy doesn't try to put any moves on me, because the answer is going to be no since he wants a "girlfriend" and I really don't want things to get weird 😩 

On 3/20/2019 at 9:00 AM, Zash said:

@Strifed Just tell them you don't do office romances, since if they fail, they just make work awkward, and you would rather avoid all that drama in the workplace.

^ yeah, I'm thinking I will sooner rather than later... I just want to go to work to work without all this stuff going on lol.

 

[Destan]

Sometimes I forget how it's like to be with people from the same age who make sexual jokes and talk stuff about that.

During class, a guy asked me to read something for him and I did.

He kept laughing and I was totally clueless what's so funny about it so he had to explain it and I was ready to punch him afterwards.

I didn't punch him, because I don't consider him close enough to do that otherwise I've already done that.

Basically, how it sounded what I read was funny, because it sounded like a very informal word for breasts.

I forgot some people are immature about this kind of stuff.

This also reminds why I don't talk to guys often and not only because I'm not used to it after 4 years of classes with almost only girls in secondary school.

At times, I miss being with people who don't talk about sexual related things at all.

[PoeciMeta]

I had classmates who randomly told (or worse, shouted) to me ''I love you'', ''Hello, sweetheart'' or even literally ''Hey, let's fuck'' (I swear) just because they know it would infuriate me. 

#AsexualProblems 

 

Just a middle school memory, but retrospectively, I found it too funny not to post it here. 

[nerdperson777]

On the way to work last week, while I was driving, I saw a weird banner hanging on a bridge over the freeway.  It was an image of two animals, one mounting the other, then "OR WAR".  I'm not sure it that meant if humans should decide between one of the two.

 

 

Then I'm wondering how early do kids start thinking dirty.  I had to work on a birthday party last week and many of the kids were 8 year olds.  They were all waiting in line for the bathroom to wash their hands before eating.  There was a boy with a little girl, and I'm guessing they're siblings.  The boy picked the girl up by the crotch and sat her down in the lap of another boy who was sitting on a stool.  The boys then laughed about it.  I asked the girl if she was okay with being touched like that.  She didn't reply so I'm not sure if she doesn't talk or didn't hear me.

 

The next day, I was teaching classes as usual and at the end of class, I decided that the students could play with the conditioning cube.  There was a single side that says "Teacher does 25" so they strategically tried to make the cube land on it.  I ended up doing 25 squats really quick and one kid, who doesn't really try in class, said that my squats didn't look right.  Sometimes I'm not sure if kids think dirty this early or I'm just imagining it.  My roommate thinks that I'm imagining it but they have known kids to be dirty minded in third grade.  Then there's me being ace but I had little friends back then and we didn't talk about dirty things.  Maybe at best, butt jokes.  I didn't start boob jokes until middle school.

[Guest]

Having people think it is because they are not good enough

 

Trying to have a sexual partner that REALLY wants to be with you but can't deal without sex and yet is still attached in spite of the suffering it causes them.

 

#AsexualProblems

[Anthracite_Impreza]

16 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

I had classmates who randomly told (or worse, shouted) to me ''I love you'', ''Hello, sweetheart'' or even literally ''Hey, let's fuck'' (I swear) just because they know it would infuriate me. 

#AsexualProblems 

 

Just a middle school memory, but retrospectively, I found it too funny not to post it here. 

That's not an asexual problem, that's a dickhead problem.

[PoeciMeta]

1 hour ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

That's not an asexual problem, that's a dickhead problem. 

Agreed. If I weren't that ace though, they would have found other bullying material. 

[Guest]

When you have a dream about having a SO and your subconscious / anxiety team up to remind you that you’ll die alone.

 

Dreamt I had an SO. I guess my subconscious knew I was waking up because my dream self told my SO that they have to go now. Anxiety chimed in with “they probably just felt sorry for you.”  👍🏼 Thanks subconscious, I love you too.

 

#Asexualproblems

[S---y]

On 3/24/2019 at 12:51 PM, confused_slytherin said:

I'm writing a story and  of my three (female) protagonists, one is ace, one is aro, and one is young and prioritizing her career so her sexuality is undetermined and no one's business anyway. And I have several allo characters, and a gay character, but I realized last night that I have no women who like women? Why is representation so hard?

Hey, it's just like real life. Most people's orientation is irrelevant most of the time. Hardly anyone knows my orientation or gender identity, and I don't know most anybody's in turn, because I'm rarely in situations where it matters. If the orientations are relevant to the core story you are trying to tell, then I wish you luck in finding a way to convey that information in a fitting way. Otherwise, don't fret about it. I'd rather read a story that focuses on representing one aspect of human experience very deeply rather than a story packed with a broad disparity of human experiences. For the ideas that remain in need of representation, there's always the next book!

[S---y]

On 3/25/2019 at 5:04 PM, nerdperson777 said:

Sometimes I'm not sure if kids think dirty this early or I'm just imagining it.  My roommate thinks that I'm imagining it but they have known kids to be dirty minded in third grade.

If you look too hard, you'll find them. There's bound to exist some, especially with the way some kids are raised. But, I wouldn't conclude a rule from the rare example. The way I see it, kids are pretty much asexual, regardless of what latent orientation is in the works of popping up with puberty.

[nerdperson777]

On 3/26/2019 at 8:16 PM, S---y said:

If you look too hard, you'll find them. There's bound to exist some, especially with the way some kids are raised. But, I wouldn't conclude a rule from the rare example. The way I see it, kids are pretty much asexual, regardless of what latent orientation is in the works of popping up with puberty.

I'm often taking into account that there are more hormones in food now than back then so kids are starting puberty earlier and earlier.  I'm probably already considered very late since I started at 13.  I had a classmate who was embarrassed for wearing a bra in 4th grade so that would've made her 9-10 years old.

 

As with how some kids are raised, I remember I was in a gaming group founded by a guy and his wife.  Their kids did play and hang out with us.  I guess they heard the dad curse a lot since I was hearing a small 5-6 year old using big bad words.  In a voice chat server, this one girl and I pretended that we had a child together just to mess with the kid, not really my idea, but I went with it against my natural personality.  I guess since I was always serious and uptight, I tried to be goofy and loose for this.  (I should've known I was trans when I assumed the male role in that so naturally, but that's another story.)  He wasn't concerned with the improbability of that, two people with uteri having a biological child, but I remember him saying that we had sex then.  We also lived half a country away from each other so we have never met each other in person.  He must've known that his parents did it a lot?  Then his dad was a total perv, and that led to the downfall of the group.  He didn't hide his perviness and I'm not sure if he was being serious when he bragged about that son being disciplined for touching a girl student inappropriately?  I remember he said about the incident, "That's my boy!"  And this was a young elementary school boy doing this.  In retrospect, I guess that was a situation to definitely nope out of.  Since I ignored all his pervy comments, I thought he was okay.

[Ytterbium]

Me: Perhaps I should come out to my friends from school after all.

One of said friends: "Asexual? Is that like being attracted to snails or something?"

Me: Uhh... maybe later.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

4 minutes ago, Ytterbium said:

Me: Perhaps I should come out to my friends from school after all.

One of said friends: "Asexual? Is that like being attracted to snails or something?"

Me: Nope.

WhyTF do people always assume "I'm not interested in sex" to mean "I want all the weird/illegal/kinky sex!"??? I was asked if I was a necrophile FFS.

[Bloc]

1 hour ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

"I want all the weird/illegal/kinky sex!"???

That you can be kinky without the sex, is to much to understand for many. They directly assume "rough sex" when you talk about kink.

[Xavy]

You're hanging out at a sporting event with friends and having an especially good time with this one particular person in the group who just happens to be of the opposite sex. Then, during an intermission the "Kiss Cam" comes around and naturally, out of the hundreds of real couples there, the "Kiss Cam"  focuses on you and this person and now you have thousands of people urging you to kiss her !!!! …. things suddenly get very very awkward ……and …... let's just say …….. this doesn't end well.

 

#asexualproblems #asexualkisscamproblems 

[The Incarnation Of Boredom]

6 hours ago, Xavy said:

You're hanging out at a sporting event with friends and having an especially good time with this one particular person in the group who just happens to be of the opposite sex. Then, during an intermission the "Kiss Cam" comes around and naturally, out of the hundreds of real couples there, the "Kiss Cam"  focuses on you and this person and now you have thousands of people urging you to kiss her !!!! …. things suddenly get very very awkward ……and …... let's just say …….. this doesn't end well.

 

#asexualproblems #asexualkisscamproblems 

Tf???? Imagine if it did that on siblings...

 

 

I would of just flipped off the camera until they moved to someone else lmaoo

[General]

27 minutes ago, Rebecca Benner said:

Tf???? Imagine if it did that on siblings...

 

 

I would of just flipped off the camera until they moved to someone else lmaoo

I would just carry a sign with me that says "My Sibling" or "My Family Member" or even "My Friend" to a sporting event so that doesn't get awkward.  lol

[The Incarnation Of Boredom]

On 3/26/2019 at 10:37 AM, i.r3beka said:

When you have a dream about having a SO and your subconscious / anxiety team up to remind you that you’ll die alone.

 

Dreamt I had an SO. I guess my subconscious knew I was waking up because my dream self told my SO that they have to go now. Anxiety chimed in with “they probably just felt sorry for you.”  👍🏼 Thanks subconscious, I love you too.

 

#Asexualproblems

This is probably a dumb question but I don't actually know what SO stands for.

I know it basically means a romantic interest/boyfriend/girlfriend/theyfriend but I don't actually know what it means.

[Bronztrooper]

35 minutes ago, Rebecca Benner said:

This is probably a dumb question but I don't actually know what SO stands for.

I know it basically means a romantic interest/boyfriend/girlfriend/theyfriend but I don't actually know what it means.

Significant other

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Rebecca Benner said:

This is probably a dumb question but I don't actually know what SO stands for.

I know it basically means a romantic interest/boyfriend/girlfriend/theyfriend but I don't actually know what it means.

What @Bronztrooper said. I personally prefer the term SO to bf / gf because it’s gender neutral and not heteronormative. I’d date either, anyone willing to put up with me would have to be a saint haha.

 

ETA: I’m not saying everyone who says gf or bf is heteronormative. I’m just saying why I personally prefer to say SO

[Bloc]

21 minutes ago, i.r3beka said:

What @Bronztrooper said. I personally prefer the term SO to bf / gf because it’s gender neutral and not heteronormative.

I prefer Partner. But in German I don't know a good gender neutral word to refer to your partner as almost everything in German is gendered. To the German speaking folks: Do you have a suggestion how call your partner?

[Jinkx]

Just thinking back on a conversation I had with some friends of a friend, kind of vague now so I'm paraphrasing.

 

Me: I'm ace.

Them: Oh okay. I respect that, man. Your beliefs are totally cool and *blah blah blah*.

Me, in my head: It's not like a religion? ????? 

[Guest]

51 minutes ago, Bloc said:

I prefer Partner. But in German I don't know a good gender neutral word to refer to your partner as almost everything in German is gendered. To the German speaking folks: Do you have a suggestion how call your partner?

Idk about in German, but in Hungarian we have élet társ, life partner, if you don’t want to call someone your husband or wife. There’s no word for bf as far as I know, I’ve just heard people call their boyfriends their pasi, but that’s just slang for guy. 

[Bloc]

In German you have Partner and Partnerin or Freund, Freundin, etc. . So you have a male and a female form.

[Ytterbium]

3 hours ago, Bloc said:

But in German I don't know a good gender neutral word to refer to your partner as almost everything in German is gendered.

Same problem in Czech. The best I can think of is "miláček" (darling) which is technically grammatically masculine, but it's used for women as well.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I like partner in crime

[Agentr9154]

I wonder what a gender neutral term for aunt/uncle would be,I know I let my nieces and nephews call me aunt,but thats only because they're family is super christian and really doesn't care for gender neutral people or anything like that.

[General]

9 hours ago, Jinkx said:

Just thinking back on a conversation I had with some friends of a friend, kind of vague now so I'm paraphrasing.

 

Me: I'm ace.

Them: Oh okay. I respect that, man. Your beliefs are totally cool and *blah blah blah*.

Me, in my head: It's not like a religion? ????? 

"Beliefs."  Wow, that would be incredibly insulting if the person actually knew asexuality is an orientation and not a religion/spirituality.  I hope they didn't mean it that way an were just ignorant instead.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Agentr9154 said:

I wonder what a gender neutral term for aunt/uncle would be,I know I let my nieces and nephews call me aunt,but thats only because they're family is super christian and really doesn't care for gender neutral people or anything like that.

Hmmm. I’m not really sure because aunt and uncle are for male / female “sibling of mom / dad.” You could ask them to call you by your name or try to think of a nickname. I call one of my relatives Katica {ladybug}, because Kata is a Hungarian nickname for her American name. 

 

Sidebar: Christian here, I don’t want you to think we’re all like that. I hope your situation improves 🤗. If you go the nickname route, it would be an opportunity to explore aspects of your identity and tell your nieces that people are more than their gender.

[nerdperson777]

13 hours ago, i.r3beka said:

ETA: I’m not saying everyone who says gf or bf is heteronormative. I’m just saying why I personally prefer to say SO

Well, maybe not exactly heteronormative, but maybe binary-normative, since gay people could still be having boy and girl friends.

 

6 hours ago, Agentr9154 said:

I wonder what a gender neutral term for aunt/uncle would be,I know I let my nieces and nephews call me aunt,but thats only because they're family is super christian and really doesn't care for gender neutral people or anything like that.

I've heard of pibling (parents' sibling).  I forgot what's the neutral term for niece/nephew.