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nerdperson777
On 10/14/2018 at 3:14 AM, Lucy in the sky said:

*me at 14* parents worried that I'd go around kissing boys

*me at 21* parents concerned that I don't want to kiss anyone 😂

Age 10

Friend: I want 4 kids. 

Me: I don't want kids.

Parents: She'll change. (yes wrong pronoun) 

 

Now

Me: I don't want kids. 

Parents: *freak out*

 

7 hours ago, Spooktastic Name said:

I wonder who got #420. ;)

Don't know if the numbers run that high. 

 

1 hour ago, Bronztrooper said:

For me, it was this:

 

My dad (when I was in middle school): "You see any cute girls at school?"

My dad (high school): "You see any cute girls at school?"

My dad (when I was with my girlfriend in high school): *silence *

My dad (after graduating high school and starting working): "You see any cute girls at work?"

 

Definite trend there :ph34r:

Me not able to describe a guy 

Mom: is he good looking? 

Me: idk. 

Mom: you're hopeless. 

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*me in elementary school- hanged out with a few people

* me in middle school- alone everyday

*me in high school- all my friends are lgbt or allies, still no relationships. 

But now? Misanthropic towards most people

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When I was in my late teens, early twenties I had this friend, my best friend at the time, and she started exploring sex. I told her I didn't want to hear the details but then some time later it was clear she was holding back and really wanted to talk and I conceded because of course she wanted to talk to her best friend about these moments. So she told me how they'd done some under the shirt action. It had been weighing on her, not talking about it with me so I said, fine you can tell me things just don't go into great detail. I meant, like she could tell me she had sex for the first time, or even about like weird condoms she found but eventually it got to the point where she felt the need to talk about it all the time in detail and she started kind of pushing me about me dating. Like was I interested in a mutual friend who was conveniently male and single, and things like saying she was going to buy me a dildo as a present and talking about porn. See, once she started having sex it wasn't so scary and weird to her and I guess she thought I'd be the same and just didn't understand how uncomfortable she made me.

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Also, having pretty much everyone think your homosexual because your not dating anyone... like that makes sense. Even at 33 years old, my dad bless his old man heart tries to be supportive by telling me he doesn't care if I date a man or a woman so long as they have a job and will take care of me. Like, dad I'm not interested in women, I'm barely interested in men, and marriage probably isn't ever going to be in the cards get with the program already. But seriously, my whole life, since middle school anyway people think of she's not dating anyone so she must be gay. What is up with that bs?

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16 minutes ago, ColeHW said:

*me in elementary school- hanged out with a few people

* me in middle school- alone everyday

*me in high school- all my friends are lgbt or allies, still no relationships. 

But now? Misanthropic towards most people

That's basically how I was and am too with a little difference.

*6-12 years old me: only few friends and teased with opposite gender friends.

   -> parents and friends: *nothing*

   -> others: do you like someone?? 

12-16 years old me: alone - constant teasing again so developed misandric behavior - few  school friends when older

   -> parents: You better get kids!

   -> friends: *they know me so they don't even ask*

   -> others: dating yet??

17- now (19): misandthropic most of the time, but still hangs out a few people. 

   -> my mom: just be happy, I don't care anymore if you date or not, be with someone or not.

   -> friends: *they know me so they don't even ask*

2 hours ago, Bio 7 said:

I wonder how people will react to me once I reach 24, 25. Being 19 nobody has really cared but I wonder how long it will be before someone points out I haven’t dated anyone. I kind of want to not “come out” just to see.

 Look at that, we're the same age. I'm guessing that people will question you in your mid-twenties. That's usually the age for settling down, marrying and dating so on. 

26 minutes ago, Lindimil said:

Also, having pretty much everyone think your homosexual because your not dating anyone... like that makes sense. Even at 33 years old, my dad bless his old man heart tries to be supportive by telling me he doesn't care if I date a man or a woman so long as they have a job and will take care of me. Like, dad I'm not interested in women, I'm barely interested in men, and marriage probably isn't ever going to be in the cards get with the program already. But seriously, my whole life, since middle school anyway people think of she's not dating anyone so she must be gay. What is up with that bs?

Yeah, I don't get it either. In high school, some people asked if I was bisexual or pansexual, because I raised a different flag during an attraction presentation and I even said I wasn't interested in people. I'm like what? so not dating means you're attracted to more kinds of people?

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Anthracite_Impreza
4 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Mom: is he good looking? 

Me: idk. 

Mom: you're hopeless. 

I've had this exact same conversation so many times.

 

You know what's really annoying now though? I want to talk about who I find attractive, I want to be able to do the teenage "who's sexy this week?" thing, but I can't because I'm not out as mecha to my family and my friends are all scattered around the country :( I can tell my cars (and do if we're out and I see a beauty), but that always feels a bit awkward cos they're my beauties! Ugh, objectum problems.

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My parents actually thought i was going on a date with a tomboy (who I later learned was transgender and accepted it) but actually it was just hanging out at a movie and fooling around.

Little did they know.

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On 10/2/2018 at 7:17 PM, a minor triad said:

I just got the "How do you know relationships aren't your thing if you've never been in one?" for the first time. And honestly, I am surprised by how peeved I am about the whole experience. I usually don't let things like that bother me, but the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.

Ugh I hate this bingo. While I personally would like a relationship one day, I still get it about other things {frickfracking and having kids.}

 

There are two ways I usually respond.

 

First, think of something self evidently unpleasant and ask how the speaker knows they wouldn’t enjoy it. How do you know you wouldn’t like to smack yourself in the face with a cactus? How do you know you don’t want to take up fire walking / sword swallowing / skydiving?

 

Two, you can say because you know your own nature. Relationships, frickfracking, and kids aren’t as trivial as trying lychee, trying a new video game, or getting in a rollercoaster. Generally, if even THINKING about something gives you stress, anxiety, or discomfort, it’s probably a safe bet you won’t enjoy it.

 

 I don’t know how or if it is physiologically related, but the part of you that gets uncomfortable with certain things is reminiscent of the part of you that has “bad feelings.”  If I’m walking to my car at night and my gut says ‘turn back around,’ I’m not going to get into my car because “how do I know it’s not safe?” I don’t need concrete proof that my car is unsafe to ask for someone to walk with me / wait while I check my car. Similarly, I don’t need concrete proof that I would hate frickfrack / childbirth to know I’m not going to.

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1 hour ago, i.r3beka said:

Ugh I hate this bingo. While I personally would like a relationship one day, I still get it about other things {frickfracking and having kids.}

 

There are two ways I usually respond.

 

First, think of something self evidently unpleasant and ask how the speaker knows they wouldn’t enjoy it. How do you know you wouldn’t like to smack yourself in the face with a cactus? How do you know you don’t want to take up fire walking / sword swallowing / skydiving?

 

Two, you can say because you know your own nature. Relationships, frickfracking, and kids aren’t as trivial as trying lychee, trying a new video game, or getting in a rollercoaster. Generally, if even THINKING about something gives you stress, anxiety, or discomfort, it’s probably a safe bet you won’t enjoy it.

 

 I don’t know how or if it is physiologically related, but the part of you that gets uncomfortable with certain things is reminiscent of the part of you that has “bad feelings.”  If I’m walking to my car at night and my gut says ‘turn back around,’ I’m not going to get into my car because “how do I know it’s not safe?” I don’t need concrete proof that my car is unsafe to ask for someone to walk with me / wait while I check my car. Similarly, I don’t need concrete proof that I would hate frickfrack / childbirth to know I’m not going to.

It is always portrayed as if you can’t say what you want until at least 30 or it’s just “you will change your mind when you get older”. Really irritating and kind of insulting that they think they know you better than you do. Not everyone wants the same thing and people really should accept that.

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Fluffy Femme Guy
16 minutes ago, Bio 7 said:

Not everyone wants the same thing and people really should accept that.

 

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When your friends are sitting around telling sex stories, and you're just sitting there silently cringing. Then they turn to you and say "you're quiet. Bet your wild in bed."

What?! Oh God! No, just no! Leave me out of this! 

 

Every damn time!

 

 

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On 10/15/2018 at 11:53 PM, Mythos1 said:

When your friends are sitting around telling sex stories, and you're just sitting there silently cringing. Then they turn to you and say "you're quiet. Bet your wild in bed."

What?! Oh God! No, just no! Leave me out of this! 

 

Every damn time!

 

 

Yeah, when you don’t display an overt interest in basic stuff, some people immediately jump to the conclusion that you have to be some sort of deviant. Like, there’s a trope on TvTropes called “Brains and Bondage” that follows from this way of thinking where people who quiet, unassuming, and/or intelligent are shown to enjoy stuff like BDSM in fiction. This idea is terrible for someone like me cause I’m academically intelligent, not very boastful, and ostensibly very straight-laced and well-behaved. So, in some people’s eyes, there has to be some scandalous habit to offset my generally pure and somewhat passive persona. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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Anthracite_Impreza
29 minutes ago, Laplace said:

Like, there’s a trope on TvTropes called “Brains and Bondage”

That is an area of TV Tropes I can safely say I have never ventured to.

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a minor triad
20 hours ago, i.r3beka said:

There are two ways I usually respond.

 

First, think of something self evidently unpleasant and ask how the speaker knows they wouldn’t enjoy it. How do you know you wouldn’t like to smack yourself in the face with a cactus? How do you know you don’t want to take up fire walking / sword swallowing / skydiving?

 

Two, you can say because you know your own nature. Relationships, frickfracking, and kids aren’t as trivial as trying lychee, trying a new video game, or getting in a rollercoaster. Generally, if even THINKING about something gives you stress, anxiety, or discomfort, it’s probably a safe bet you won’t enjoy it.

Yeah, when the guy said that to me, I kinda froze, so I couldn't think of anything clever. I ended up telling him that that was a bad question and to never ask me that again. Oh well. It got my point across, at least.

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...Just the usual single/aroace problem of having random strangers in vehicles deciding to lecture me about how I "shouldn't be out here, alone" while I'm walking/exercising, as though everyone should or needs to be paired with someone in order to be safe (and as though everyone has an available partner or friend to exercise with them). :rolleyes:

 

Single adults aren't naïve or helpless children just because they do things alone.

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nerdperson777

Male foreigner co-worker asked another co-worker about a file he wanted.  She said she emailed it to him.  He said he didn't see it so he'll check his junk (mail).  One guy starts laughing a little.  The woman probably also knew.  "Yeah, check your junk."  I'm just sitting there silently disapproving at the subtle immaturity.

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My classmate told me a 'funny' story about when she was with her cousin and her cousins boyfriend. I honestly wish she didn't tell me.

It's the most dirtiest thing I've heard. A warning would have been nice, but I guess it's normal to hear these kinds of stories around my age(?)

So for those who want to know, embrace yourselves:

Spoiler

The cousin of my classmate suddenly called my classmate to pick her up. My classmate drove her cousin to the train station where she meets the boyfriend. He was there panicking, being embarrassed and kept saying his kids were in a tree. The two of them were confused so the boyfriend showed them what he meant, because he doesn't have kids. The boyfriend apparently 'does something' with a girl every now and then in the bushes. Afterwards, he would leave his condom there so apparently someone hanged all the ones he used in a tree. The person who did this is still a mystery even to this day. 

 

I'm guessing it was an act of revenge.

 

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Fluffy Femme Guy

brain

18 hours ago, Anthraxite_Vampreza said:

That is an area of TV Tropes I can safely say I have never ventured to.

Oddly enough, the sex/romance pages on tvtropes are how I found out about asexuality.
This actually led to me finding AVEN.

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6 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

Oddly enough, the sex/romance pages on tvtropes are how I found out about asexuality.
This actually led to me finding AVEN.

Same actually. I saw the Asexuality trope, and that tipped me off to the whole idea. TvTropes didn’t ruin my life (yes, that’s an actual trope); it improved it. 😇

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I was starting to get excited about a movie titled "The Aftermath' which is about what happened in Germany immediately after WWII.  Its a period of history I'm interested in and we don't hear enough about it. Imagine my disappointment when the reviewers go on and on about the illicit love story and the 'hot love scenes'.

 

Oh well...

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On 10/16/2018 at 11:37 PM, Laplace said:

Like, there’s a trope on TvTropes called “Brains and Bondage” that follows from this way of thinking where people who quiet, unassuming, and/or intelligent are shown to enjoy stuff like BDSM in fiction.

Is it an asexual problem if this trope fits for you and you are still asexual? Being into bondage does not mean you want to have sex.

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Fluffy Femme Guy
2 hours ago, Bloc said:

Is it an asexual problem if this trope fits for you and you are still asexual? Being into bondage does not mean you want to have sex.

It can be. Some people can't understand that you can have kinks or fetishes while not wanting sex.

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nerdperson777

I'm feeling like a bad ace friend because the friends I'm supposed to move in with are allo and like to wear almost no clothing but I said I would prefer that some sort of top and bottom be worn.  I felt like I was being super judgmental about the trans girl walking around in boxer briefs and a sweatshirt.  I wasn't expecting underwear only but also that underwear and sweatshirt was a weird combination.  I feel like I'm making it harder for them when I haven't figured out how to tell my parents that I'm leaving so I'm not even there most of the time.

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WeasleyIsOurKing
On October 19, 2018 at 1:14 PM, nerdperson777 said:

I'm feeling like a bad ace friend because the friends I'm supposed to move in with are allo and like to wear almost no clothing but I said I would prefer that some sort of top and bottom be worn.  I felt like I was being super judgmental about the trans girl walking around in boxer briefs and a sweatshirt.  I wasn't expecting underwear only but also that underwear and sweatshirt was a weird combination.  I feel like I'm making it harder for them when I haven't figured out how to tell my parents that I'm leaving so I'm not even there most of the time.

You aren't a bad friend! Try explaining to them why you'd prefer more clothing. If they understand & accept that, well, great! If they don't... Well hey, at least you tried.

 

On a lighter note, where I live today is the first day of asexual awareness week! 

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AmorphousBlob

Just told a guy that even if I did like guys I still wouldn't like him. It was pretty funny but now everyone thinks I'm gay.

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nerdperson777
18 hours ago, WeasleyIsOurKing said:

You aren't a bad friend! Try explaining to them why you'd prefer more clothing. If they understand & accept that, well, great! If they don't... Well hey, at least you tried.

 

On a lighter note, where I live today is the first day of asexual awareness week! 

Well I felt overly judgmental about how they were dressing but it's in our apartment so they should have more freedom to wear whatever they want compared to public.

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So I'm 23, going to college, and living with my parents. Last night my parents sat me down (I thought they were going to ask  if I could take care of the house well they travel and do fun things)

Dad: "Do you need money, do you have enough?" 

Me: "Yes, I am perfectly fine"

Dad: "Do you have enough money to go on dates? Are you going to bring anyone home for thanksgiving, you now you are more than welcome to!"

Me: "I have enough money to go on dates, I go out with my friends all the time. I Just don't want to go on dates or date anyone as I do not like people in that manner. Lastly I probably won't be bringing anyone home as my friend group lives with in driving distance of my college."

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Update: 

 

When I tell the above story to my friends they don't realize how it makes me feel until I tell them to look at it if I were gay and my parents were trying to tell me to only date women.  I know it's hard for allos to sympathize with asexuals but sometimes I wish that asexuality was more understood by the masses.

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Fluffy Femme Guy
2 minutes ago, Builderboy said:

I know it's hard for allos to sympathize with asexuals but sometimes I wish that asexuality was more understood by the masses.

Society in general needs more of a 'you do you' attitude.
"I can't understand why you're like that, but I won't try to change you." , "That makes no sense to me, but that person must have their reasons." , etc.

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Why do people think that calling someone asexual is a good insult?

 

I'm aro-ace, and I'm not out to my family yet. I'm eighteen and I've never had a crush (obviously) or a S.O. My teenage brothers (who are most definitely not ace) regularly tease me about this. I usually ignore it and I don't pay much attention to it. However, yesterday I told them I'd never had any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship and my youngest brother asked me "t'es quoi, asexuée?" before laughing. This loosely translates to "what are you, asexual?" which wouldn't be that bad (other than that he considered it to be impossible and almost an insult) except for the fact that French has two different words for asexual individuals (des individus asexuels) and plants' asexual reproduction (la reproduction asexuée). My brother used the plant one, which makes me wonder not only how acephobic he could be, but how ignorant he is. How do people not know this? How does he not know what it sounds like? We live in Montreal, Quebec. It's one of the most progressive places, yet he insults me by calling me an asexual plant. I'm disappointed and even more reticent to come out to my family now. Fortunately, I've told a few of my friends and they've been nothing but supportive.

 

On other news, I think my family believes I'm a lesbian because I've never had a boyfriend or shown interest in boys. I've never shown any interests in girls either, for that matter... *Sigh*

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