#AsexualProblems

[Hermit Advocate]

When tell your friend that you like (have a squish on) someone of the same sex as you and your friend immediately jumps to the "is there something you need to tell me" thinking I'm coming out as a homosexual response. 😐 No bitch, I just think she's cute and want to cuddle with someone. Luckily for my cat, he's my only cuddle buddy. 

[a minor triad]

On ‎9‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 3:26 AM, Skycaptain said:

Bizarrely, I think that I have encountered the term "tossed salad" more on AVEN than in the entire rest of my life 

AVEN is the only place I've ever encountered this term.

[Builderboy]

55 minutes ago, Hermit Advocate said:

No bitch, I just think she's cute and want to cuddle with someone.

I couldn't have said this better my self!

[Builderboy]

My parents are looking at taking a guided trip, the tickets are sold in singles or doubles.

 

Mom: "(my dad's name) look its cheaper then we thought!"

Mom: "(my name) If we book it for a year out do you think you could have a special someone by then?"

Me: "probably not, but I'm sure I can ask a friend"

Mom: "hunny you are 23, and I would like grandkids..."

Me: "..........."

[ayananana]

1 minute ago, Builderboy said:

My parents are looking at taking a guided trip, the tickets are sold in singles or doubles.

 

Mom: "(my dad's name) look its cheaper then we thought!"

Mom: "(my name) If we book it for a year out do you think you could have a special someone by then?"

Me: "probably not, but I'm sure I can ask a friend"

Mom: "hunny you are 23, and I would like grandkids..."

Me: "..........."

Any siblings though? I would give the responsibility of giving grandchildren to my parents to my sister 😂😂

[Builderboy]

5 minutes ago, ayananana said:

Any siblings though?

I have an older brother, he is almost 30 and has a daughter who will be 2 in a few weeks. Once they had one, they wanted more.... When she was 3 months or so my mom looked at me and said "I'd like more"

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

15 minutes ago, Builderboy said:

Mom: "hunny you are 23, and I would like grandkids..."

Me: "..........." 

I don't understand why so many parents and extended family folk think they should attempt to choose for them whether you have kids or not, it sickens me.

No one in my family ever does this thankfully, but I feel really bad for anyone who gets pestered like that. Even if they aren't aces.

5 minutes ago, Builderboy said:

I have an older brother, he is almost 30 and has a daughter who will be 2 in a few weeks. Once they had one, they wanted more.... When she was 3 months or so my mom looked at me and said "I'd like more"

Grrr.... 😠

[4108bn]

TW sex, BDSM, disease described

 

People in my life are dumb about sex and don't think to ask for support from me, even though I'm probably one of the most educated people about sex in their lives. They seem to not ask partially because I'm openly ace now (but also open about having been in sexual relationships).

 

I told one of my family members that they might have an STI (unprompted, but necessary), they got tested by my recommendation and found out they had chlamydia. Then I told them about all kinds of contraceptive and barrier devices that prevent the spread of STIs that they'd never heard of. Now they don't have to worry about having a damaged reproductive system or passing on their STI to their children or partners.

 

My roommate was talking about the sex he was about to have and seemed pretty uneducated on certain things (bondage, choking), and so I offered some insight and gave him some tips and safety precautions, and he was incredibly confused and surprised that I knew anything about any of it.

 

But yeah. I just want people to be educated and safe, even if it's not from me. But if they're going to be dumb, they might as well tell me first so I can help them be dumb AND safe.

[ayananana]

47 minutes ago, Builderboy said:

"I'd like more"

Could you please be contented instead? 😂 We can't pop out children out of nowhere

[Bronztrooper]

4 hours ago, Builderboy said:

I have an older brother, he is almost 30 and has a daughter who will be 2 in a few weeks. Once they had one, they wanted more.... When she was 3 months or so my mom looked at me and said "I'd like more"

Welp, too bad for her, then.

 

Seriously, though, what the hell?  No offense, but people like your mom need some sense knocked into them.

 

4 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

I don't understand why so many parents and extended family folk think they should attempt to choose for them whether you have kids or not, it sickens me.

No one in my family ever does this thankfully, but I feel really bad for anyone who gets pestered like that. Even if they aren't aces.

I haven't really properly spoken to most of my family since I moved from New Jersey to Florida which was about.... 6 or 7 years ago(?), so I haven't really had to worry about that kind of questioning from anyone, really.  The only one in my family that I actually talked to more than once when I was back in Jersey for about half a year was my aunt on my mom's side and she doesn't have kids of her own so she wouldn't really mention the possibility of us having kids to begin with (though, the only real reason why I actually talked with her was because my mom was having dinner with her (which happened several times) and she wanted me and my sister to go too and, as usual, we didn't really have a say in the matter because apparently we were being assholes if we didn't want to go 🙄).  There's probably only 1-2 people I can think of that might ask about me having kids at some point (my sister is 17, so they wouldn't ask her about that- at least, not yet) and even then, I'm not sure if they would.

 

As for my parents, well, my dad hasn't really cared much either way because he only wants us to do stuff if we actually want to do it so if the subject did somehow come up (which I'm 99.9999999999% sure it won't) , it'd be more of a joke than anything.  As for my mom, her only concern seems to be that she doesn't want either me or my sister having kids when we're young (late teens, early 20s), which I find kind of ironic because apparently she didn't have much concerns about it in her own case (she was 19 when she had me- and funnily enough, my grandmother on my dad's side was 19 when she had my dad, so I may have joked about it once and my mom got mad at me), but then she also put a lot of extra pressure on me to graduate high school even though she didn't graduate herself (or even bother to get a GED- which I find funny because she works at Amazon now and they require a high school diploma/GED and she lied about having one, yet I actually graduated and I'm struggling to get a job to begin with), yet she lets my sister slide with not being in school and won't help pay for online classes for my sister.

 

I really went off track there.  Anyway, I think that if my mom ever does ask me or my sister about when we're planning on having kids, it'll probably be when we're in our mid to late 20s, if she ever asks at all.  idk, I just feel like the subject isn't one that my family would bother to bring up.

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

7 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

Anyway, I think that if my mom ever does ask me or my sister about when we're planning on having kids, it'll probably be when we're in our mid to late 20s, if she ever asks at all.  idk, I just feel like the subject isn't one that my family would bother to bring up.

If it's brought up respectfully that's fine.
It's the pushy kind that won't take no for an answer that grinds my gears.

But the only person that should be allowed to decide that kind of thing is yourself.

[Bronztrooper]

36 minutes ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

If it's brought up respectfully that's fine.
It's the pushy kind that won't take no for an answer that grinds my gears.

But the only person that should be allowed to decide that kind of thing is yourself.

Yeah, I know that, I just meant the subject being brought up in general.  I have no idea if anyone in my family who may bring it up would end up being pushy about it, though.

 

Thing is, I do eventually want kids, but the keyword there is eventually.  I'm not interested in rushing into a relationship (or have sex, obviously) and I'm not keen on going on multiple dates with multiple people because I'd rather make my relationships count for something rather being a short term thing.

[nerdperson777]

7 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

If it's brought up respectfully that's fine.
It's the pushy kind that won't take no for an answer that grinds my gears.

But the only person that should be allowed to decide that kind of thing is yourself.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kids

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

I've seen that before!
The Oatmeal is hilarious! ❤️

[Hermit Advocate]

Damn, I'm sorry for all of you who have had their parents ask/tell you to have grandkids. Meanwhile, I have managed to convince through sheer logic, one of my friends and my sister the benefits of being child free in the long run. No grandkids for my parents. Only grandkitties. 

[Destan]

On 9/24/2018 at 4:13 AM, ayananana said:

Any siblings though? I would give the responsibility of giving grandchildren to my parents to my sister 😂😂

I actually said the same thing to my mom today when we were talking about my old man. I kinda apologized to her afterwards, saying there probably won't be a next generation. (My sister doesn't seem to want children either.) She's alright with it now though and said it's even better that neither my sister or I should because of family issues

 

My parents used to be like most people too about grandchildren, especially my old man. A few years ago, he yelled at me that I must have children and he will have grandchildren, because of the society. Heck, I was still a teenager back then and that's already expected of me. I'm guessing the reason why he yelled was because he did it for that reason. At the present, we don't speak much about this so I'm safe for now. I dunno about extended family. I've zero contact with them.

 

My mom just wants me to find a life companion I think. She wants to be reassured that I'm loved and cared by someone and not lonely so I won't become a bitter person. In a sense, I do understand where she's coming from. It will be hard to take care of myself if I get sick or break a bone. 

[SpaceDustbin]

8 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

No grandkids for my parents. Only grandkitties. 

Same for my parents my oldest brother and his gf have a cat that my parents sometimes have to cat-sit when they go on holidays - and then spoil the little thing rotten, haha

[Laplace]

My dad has always advised me not to have kids unless I REALLY REALLY wanted to. Even then, he said to really think it over. So yeah, I wasn’t gonna have kids anyway so thanks Dad for giving me your blessing. 🙃😇 My mom sorta wants me to have kids, but it’s more like she wants me to not be alone. I’m probably not romantic or sexual, and unless someone really connects with me somehow, I’m pretty comfortable being by myself TBH.

[nerdperson777]

7 hours ago, Destan said:

My parents used to be like most people too about grandchildren, especially my old man. A few years ago, he yelled at me that I must to have children and he will have grandchildren, because of the society. Heck, I was still a teenager back then and that's already expected of me. I'm guessing the reason why he yelled was because he did it for that reason, a man like him shouldn't have had children in the first place. At the present, we don't speak much about this so I'm safe for now. I dunno about extended family. I've zero contact with them.

Well my dad was talking to some guy about his family and kids and I just passed by.  Dad asked me at the age of 19 where were his grandchildren.  The guy he was talking to had a youngest child in high school and at least one grandchild.  He'll only be able to have that grandfather feeling with my cousins.  There's a third one on the way.  I told him to ask at a more appropriate age, like "10 years from now".  He said okay, he'll ask me when I'm 29.  *facepalm*

[ayananana]

Eating in a restaurant and the guy from the cashier kept on bothering our group. Taught he was just that friendly to customers. When he was gone, my friends said he had a thing for me because he kept bothering us.

Then one of my friends said "Do you like him?" 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Ummm I just met him??? I do not know him????

[Aloney]

On 9/27/2018 at 8:06 AM, ayananana said:

Eating in a restaurant and the guy from the cashier kept on bothering our group. Taught he was just that friendly to customers. When he was gone, my friends said he had a thing for me because he kept bothering us.

Then one of my friends said "Do you like him?" 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Ummm I just met him??? I do not know him????

This! How on Earth is anyone supposed to have feelings for literal strangers they just had one single interaction with?? Never understood the ”love at first sight”-thing, much less the more sexual way of fancying someone you don’t even know 🙄

[WinterWanderer]

4 hours ago, Aloney said:

This! How on Earth is anyone supposed to have feelings for literal strangers they just had one single interaction with?? Never understood the ”love at first sight”-thing, much less the more sexual way of fancying someone you don’t even know 🙄

Same! It's so weird.

 

That's also why I've never been able to get into dating sites or blind dates. How can you just suddenly conjure up feelings (sexual or romantic) for a random stranger?? When going on dates with people I don't know very well, I just feel awkward and self-conscious the whole time, and wish that I hadn't.

[Bio 7]

On 10/14/2013 at 5:54 AM, Kagon said:

As much as this thread has me thoroughly tempted to google "tossed salad" to figure out what all the fuss is about, I know I must abstain. Knowing that certain sexual content has the potential to make me literally physically ill and all, and\or spend the night curled up in a ball in the corner.

#repulsedasexualproblems

I know I’m years late but yeah, googling Toss Salad was a horrific idea.

[nerdperson777]

6 hours ago, Rynn said:

Same! It's so weird.

 

That's also why I've never been able to get into dating sites or blind dates. How can you just suddenly conjure up feelings (sexual or romantic) for a random stranger?? When going on dates with people I don't know very well, I just feel awkward and self-conscious the whole time, and wish that I hadn't.

Once I was at Jamba Juice and the cashier said that there was a guy who wanted to pay for my drink.  I guess some guy thought then-cis me was cute.  I turned around and couldn't figure out who it could've been so I decided nah, I'll pay for my own.  I wasn't looking for a partner and it would be mean to have someone pay for my drink but never talk to them.  Plus asocial and socially anxious me would be like "augh new people, afraid."  I totally missed the point of the buying someone a drink thing.  Do straight girls really think that if any (not creepy) guy finds her attractive, she would be flattered and give it a try?

[Sweet Potato]

16 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Once I was at Jamba Juice and the cashier said that there was a guy who wanted to pay for my drink.  I guess some guy thought then-cis me was cute.  I turned around and couldn't figure out who it could've been so I decided nah, I'll pay for my own.  I wasn't looking for a partner and it would be mean to have someone pay for my drink but never talk to them.  Plus asocial and socially anxious me would be like "augh new people, afraid."  I totally missed the point of the buying someone a drink thing.  Do straight girls really think that if any (not creepy) guy finds her attractive, she would be flattered and give it a try?

I only pay for about half my drinks at any bar or club. someone wants to buy me a drink, ok. I'll chat, I let them know I'm not going home with them, but conversation and/or a dance for a free drink. sure.

[PittAce92]

On September 25, 2018 at 6:50 AM, Hermit Advocate said:

Damn, I'm sorry for all of you who have had their parents ask/tell you to have grandkids. Meanwhile, I have managed to convince through sheer logic, one of my friends and my sister the benefits of being child free in the long run. No grandkids for my parents. Only grandkitties. 

I agree. There is zero reason for and pressures of this kind of magnitude. I wish others parents were like how mine reacted, where they basically said, "we'd prefer it." 

 

 

[nerdperson777]

6 hours ago, Sweet Potato said:

I only pay for about half my drinks at any bar or club. someone wants to buy me a drink, ok. I'll chat, I let them know I'm not going home with them, but conversation and/or a dance for a free drink. sure.

Then you don't realize how bad I am at talking to people, even if I know them well. 

 

1 hour ago, PittAce92 said:

I agree. There is zero reason for and pressures of this kind of magnitude. I wish others parents were like how mine reacted, where they basically said, "we'd prefer it." 

It's like humans are entitled to pass on their genes but there's an "overpopulation" of cats and dogs. I think we can fix some humans for some population control and then people don't have to be all about sex. 

 

Whether I have human, pet, or no children, I plan on keeping my parents away from them. 

[apolo234]

Do people feel horny or something when they play the bottle game? Because I remember playing it in a summer camp one night for laughs and fun for three hours, idk, it just feels really strange people turning a bottle and kissing 'till 3 AM, not to say it wasn't fun, but it kind of surprised me we managed to play for that long, specially when people played for several nights, haha. 😁

[nerdperson777]

My goal to friendzone in that visual novel(?) isn't working out. The setting is in a high school and my character got asked out to homecoming. My only choices are to accept or "I was planning to ask someone else." If I accept now, I can just get it over with. If I reject, is this thing going to make me choose later? At least no one is super judgy about who's attracted to who. My character is a guy who got asked out by a guy. But some of the guys give nne toxic masculine vibes. My character is a guy who got asked out by a guy. Someone help me choose plz.

[Ruination]

35 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

My goal to friendzone in that visual novel(?) isn't working out. The setting is in a high school and my character got asked out to homecoming. My only choices are to accept or "I was planning to ask someone else." If I accept now, I can just get it over with. If I reject, is this thing going to make me choose later? At least no one is super judgy about who's attracted to who. My character is a guy who got asked out by a guy. But some of the guys give nne toxic masculine vibes. My character is a guy who got asked out by a guy. Someone help me choose plz.

Does your character always tells the truth? Is this guy the best you’re gonna get? If either is yes, take the date, otherwise keep exploring!