Article: 35 and never had a relationship

[Jazmin]

I just came across this article which has been written by what sounds like an asexual aromantic woman. It's quite a good piece and the comments on the site have been pretty positive. Just thought I'd share with you all :)

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-to-me-ive-never-had-a-romantic-relationship

[MenthaPiperita]

Thanks for sharing this. I think the title was slightly misleading, though. Even though she's never been in what she calls a "relationship", I would say that her attempts to date and make out and have sex - unsatisfying as they were - still count as relationship experience. Because those were types of relationships. I would find it much more unusual and surprising (and maybe even a little refreshing) to read about someone who reached the age of 35 without any such experiences.

Still, she had an interesting story - definitely worth telling. And I'm glad she finally learned to be OK with herself. I'm slightly older than she is, and I'm still working on that.

[Jazmin]

Thanks for sharing this. I think the title was slightly misleading, though. Even though she's never been in what she calls a "relationship", I would say that her attempts to date and make out and have sex - unsatisfying as they were - still count as relationship experience. Because those were types of relationships. I would find it much more unusual and surprising (and maybe even a little refreshing) to read about someone who reached the age of 35 without any such experiences.

Still, she had an interesting story - definitely worth telling. And I'm glad she finally learned to be OK with herself. I'm slightly older than she is, and I'm still working on that.

You're welcome :) Yeah, I guess it kind of is misleading a little bit. But that was the name they gave the article, so I just went with it. Then again, come to think of it, I don't think the author herself (or many sexuals for that matter) would consider her any of her experiences as constituting a "real relationship" - it was more just making out, casual sex, with guys she didn't really have much of a bond with. She says herself: "Any tentative steps toward establishing a "relationship" with one of them always fizzled out pretty early." So yes, she had sexual experiences, but nothing that turned into an official romantic relationship. Perhaps that's what they meant with the title.

And I agree, it would be interesting if someone of that age who had no such sexual experiences were to write an article. However, I'm willing to bet that then in the comments section people would say things like, "You can't really know for sure that romantic relationships and sex aren't for you because you haven't ever tried anything!" -_-

[Guest]

*Gigantic thumb up*
This speaks a lot to aromantics, I bet. ^_^

[Tanwen]

It was an interesting article, thanks for sharing it. :)

[honor is all]

"Then again, come to think of it, I don't think the author herself (or many romantic sexuals for that matter) would consider her any of her experiences as constituting a "real relationship"

Small correction time. Indeed most romantic sexuals (or romantic asexuals) wouldn't consider that a "real' relationship (albeit the word annoys me so much not all relationships are a film style moulded model). However, I can easily bet most aromatnic sexuals would consider those 'relationships' since this demographic doesn't have an interest in "real" relationships as it is and prefer the one night stand/temporary f-buddy type of arrangenments. However the main difference is the reason behind not pursuing a realtionship. If her reason is not liking the sexual aspect then she's ace if it's more to with not liking the other aspects of a relationship apart from the sex then she's an aromantic sexual.

It sems to me that to romantics, the amount of time one spends in a pair bond and some other factors like whether they live together constitute a foraml realtionship.