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Phallocentric Society


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I was in Barnes & Noble the other day, and I came across a very interesting book. It's a book about myths, misconceptions, and general information about homosexuality and related topics. One of the things it mentioned had to do with people mistaking others for the opposite gender. It said that because we live in a male dominated, or "phallocentric" society, people have a "male until proven otherwise" system for judging another's gender. Which explains why so many females (such as myself) get "sirred" more than males get "ma'amed". So if someone doesn't scream "I'm a woman! Here me roar!" (so to speak, taking into account things like behavior, physical attributes, mannerisms, etc), people will automatically assume they're male? Here's my question... how do you (Avenites) size up another person's gender, if at all? Do you subscribe to the "male until proven otherwise" way of summing up other people? How do you feel about such a system for analyzing others?

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Hmm... I'm not sure. I'm probably guilty of the "male to proven otherwise", but lately I don't know.

With posters on AVEN, there's people that I thought were male, like Amcan, until I found out they were female. But I also thought Liver was a girl for quite a while when I first started out. And then there were others that I correctly imagined as being either female or male.

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I'd guess you get "sir" more often then "ma'am" becuase its an easier/shorter word to say.

"phallocentric" theres a word i've never heard before.

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For me, I tend to classify things as males because I identify more with masculinity and so it seems a kind of default for me. So sometimes on forums and the like, unless there's overt clues I'll think most people are male. But a lot of the time I don't really think about it.

I've always sort of assumed that was the case for everyone - that women were more likely to think people were women because they themselves were female, and likewise for men. But... really, I think it's just that the female gender, physically, is so defined by that unfortunate bulge on the upper chest. If that's hidden or flattened, and the face, clothes, voice etc. don't project the classic 'I am woman', then it can be hard to tell and the net assumption may be male because of the lack of curves.

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I don't think I assume what gender people are, especially over the net. That or I haven't paid attention to it

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I have misjudged people online and observed what I think and I found that unless there is a hint one way or another, I don't assume anything or think about it. But many times the hint is wrong and so am I then. And sometimes, even when I find out otherwise, I tend to forget if the hint is still there confusing me. For instance, a male with a female or very pink and flowery avater can keep me confused - or a female with a male or masculine avater.

Unfortunately I have a hard time remembering or distinguishing other posters until I see a photo, have several exchanges, or they say something extremely interesting or emotionally connecting to me. So when I read, I don't even think about gender or who it is - I think about the content of the post.

In person I never thought about the male until proven otherwise. I'll have to observe myself and see what I do.

hawke

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Schala Zeal

Given my particular situation, I don't judge people upon gender. I'll judge people upon their ideas, their looks might come in, but it is secondary to their personality. Especially online where physical cues don't show.

I won't assume someone's gender because I may be wrong, but when the need comes to use pronouns, I usually have a general idea of a person (if I don't I just avoid using pronouns and use neutral pronouns or omit pronouns).

It also depends if the person plays a role or not.

I've known someone in Ragnarok Online, on a private server (well it's illegal, but that's not the point). We both were assassin class characters, both female in character too and both liked to wear accessories in the game such as ribbons (there's many too) and I conceived it was a girl. Although I don't know for true the concept of gender of this person (I never really asked), this person told me to be male in real life.

I guess I haven't known him/her enough to pose a correct judgment, but I never even intended to appear male in Ragnarok Online, whereas he/she openly said to be male. Given our liking of the game was different though.

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Dunno why but a lot of people online assume I'm male.........strange

To all newbies who might be reading this I'm female.

See cleared that up.

As for in RL I actually tend to think female for some reason...there have been men I have mistaken for women nad women who I thought I was mistaking for men being women when they were women. So...it's very oddd.

I look at faces nand just general shape but ti doesn't help I tend to see people as just people....

Thought somwtimes I look at wedding rings on mem nad women but then agian I'm nosy I play Sherlock Holmes and try to deduce stuff about them with wedding rings being an obvious place to start but gender...never really occured to me.

Dunno how on-topic that was.....

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Heh. I've mistaken peoples' genders both ways, and as a male, I have been mistaken for a female on many occasions over the net. (and once IRL, when I had my long hair)

I dont know if I agree with that writer.

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If I meet a person and they tell me their gender, that's how I think of them. If I can't really tell someone's gender, I don't usually ask, but I don't let that get in the way of a potential friendship. About 4 years ago, I met a woman who I later found out was pre-op male-to-female. Even knowing that, I still think of her as a woman because that's what she said she was when we met.

I keep myself pretty open on the whole gender thingy. I'm physically female, but I tend more towards the androgynous-but-slightly-male. I've also appeared as a drag king in the first 4 shows of an annual gender-bender event. I met some semi-professional drag queens the first year, and I still think of them as girls.

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This is most interesting. I believe that people have a natural tendency to "gender" people as soon as they meet or even see someone. I have heard that people often gauge another's gender by sight usually within 50 milliseconds. If one does not gauge a gender quickly, then curiosity may cause them to stare at the person to look for gender cues.

I seem to have certain "male" gender cues, such as being tall with broadish shoulder. But I hate to be called "Sir." :shock:

Perhaps I am different. I am likely, since you ask, gynocentric, assuming that people are female unless proven otherwise.

Kelly :wink:

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