some questions from me

[darlindear]

okay I know this has probably been asked a lot already. But I want to know what exactly is asexuality. I have read most of the basic info this site provides. But I would really like to hear from the people who Identify as asexual. I don't really want the text book answer.

for example I feel I may be asexual because:

My sexual interest in the opposite sex is really low

actually I have never been interested in anybody sexually

I get freaked out by "normal" sexual behavior, like flirting, kissing, touching,(I don't mind touching some one else, it is when they try to touch me)

I am perfectly happy just being friends with a guy, but at the same time i can get really jealous if he is with other girls.

I have some doubts because:

I can get sexually aroused, and at that point may want sex but not with a person if that makes any sense.

I still want a relationship even though I cant see myself in one.

I really like guys

I can think of some people as attractive sexually. or hot

so what do you guys see as asexuality?

[cijay]

I see asexuality as someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Other than that, the community is as diverse as any other.

[Friendly]

The definition of asexuality that applies to me is: Absence of sexual/romantic attraction and sex drive.

[Shockwave]

You'll probably get as many different answers to these questions as people who answer.

For me it means that I don't look at people and want to see them naked. I like a little affection now and then but I prefer to do that with my clothes on.

[gypsylady]

Hi darlindear!

I'm a female bi-romantic-asexual. I mostly like men (but find many woman attractive too). But, I don't experience sexual attraction. Iow, I find *many* men and women aesthecially appealing (I love looking), but looking does *not* make me feel horny.

Otoh, I do get horny very occasionally (not in response to anything in particular, although porn can get to me sometimes, but it's most probably linked to hormonal activity) and can take care of that myself with no problem.

I agree that you will find that asexuality can be very individual.

Do you have any other, more specific, questions we could respond to? You've read the FAQ and still have questions/doubts - can you give us more of a chance to help answer to those things?

[RekrabMot]

I'm still trying to make up my mind about this myself. I have felt sexual attraction, but only twice in a lifetime (i'm 37). I'm not anti-sexual, I'm just mostly asexual.

I would like to feel sexual attraction again because I enjoyed the experiance when it happenned (by which I mean I enjoyed the feelings of attraction, I never went anywhere with it and still wonder what my reaction woiuld have been if things had got even remotely intimate). However, sexual feelings just never does seem to happen. I tend to resist calling myself asexual to others because, knowing my luck, i'll find someone sexually attractive shortly afterwards!

I do find members of both sexes attractive sometimes, but this does not extend to sexual feelings. When I meet someone I am far more interested in understanding who they are and how they tick. Basically I am always trying to find people to whom I can relate mentally/emotionally rather than physically or sexually.

But then, why label myself, I'm just me!

[Amcan]

I see asexuality as someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Other than that, the community is as diverse as any other.

*agreees wholeheartedly*

[Rawphish]

What’s great about this group is that they are willing to accept you even if you not follow a text book definition of asexuality, I think that you can be only asexual, and you can label yourself how you wish, as long as you are comfortable with where you stand, I can see how its alright to have crushes on the same sex, even if the extent of how physical you want to be with them is cuddle, I have had some crushes like that as well. I sometimes will find a female very attractive and get a crush even if I only like her physical appearance, but the crushes I like the best and act out on are the ones with females that I have no sexual desire for but yet I cannot take my eye of them, its like they have some mystic about them that makes them irresistible

[darlindear]

thanks so much for your comments.

I guess with me I consider myself heterosexual. I like looking at guys, I even like touching them, I can be aroused by them. But sex doesn't cross my mind. For me its kinda like itching. I itch but I have no desire to scratch. But from reading what you all wrote it seems that arousal or horniness is a regular acurance.

and may I ask what does bi-romantic mean?

Is it usual to want some one physically, but not want sex. ?

I seems like I may be interested in all other aspects of a sexual relationship except for sex.

[Shivers]

and may I ask what does bi-romantic mean?

Is it usual to want some one physically, but not want sex. ?

I seems like I may be interested in all other aspects of a sexual relationship except for sex.

"bi-romantic" usually refers to being willing to get into a caring more-than-friends asexual relationship... at least that's the sense I use it in (-:þ

And I want someone to cuddle with, but not in a sexual manner; so I'm with you there. And a big ditto to the "everything but sex" thought.

[gypsylady]

I was using "bi" as an abbreviate for bisexual. I'm aesthetically attracted to both sexes, although I don't care much for a serious involvement with either one...

[AmoebicMe]

Huh. You sound pretty much like me. I like boys and all, but no sex please. I agree with the "anything but sex" thing.

Yeah. I pretty much identify as asexual, 'cause to me being asexual means that you aren't interested in having sex with anyone. And that's me.

If you feel comfortable with using the term, then go ahead. We won't like, hunt you down or something just because you think boys are pretty to look at. If that does happen to you, please let me know so that I can start running too...