My asexual freind having dreams of rape by me

[gholamreza]

English is not my mother tongue, I apologize for my grammer mistakes.

I meet a girl about six month ago and I really liked her from then. I think she is asuexal but I'm not sure.

During these six months I always tried to become a boy freind of her, but she always refused. She said I'm a really important person for her but she don't like me as boyfriend.

Suddenly I feel that her behavior changed with me. She sometimes had a aggressive behavior toward me and tried to avoid me, but most of the time she was ok with me and cared about me.

After sometime I asked her about these behaviors and she cried and told me she had some nightmares in which I rape her, and she felt pain after waking up.

And also I should mention that she had several failed relationship with boys that still annoying her, and she knows that I care about her a lot.

I don't know what shoud I do. I really like her and I want her as a freind, but I'm the cause of these dreams. What should I do?

Thank you

[Guest]

She probably felt subconsciously pressured because you tried hard to build a relationship, and she didn't want you to be her partner. I think giving her a few days off (= not contacting each other for a while) would probably have a beneficial effect on your relationship: in my opinion, she just needs to reassure herself that you're no threat. Be open and tell her that you care about her as a friend and don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, so you won't insist if she doesn't feel alright with anything. It should work.

Welcome here

[Mad Hatter]

I agree with Kitsune, just try and give her some space. It is not your fault that she had that dream but space away from each other may help her mind settle. Hope everything works out for you both and you are able to stay friends.