ChoralGuy03 Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Hi, this is my first post to the boards and first day reading on the website. I'm really tired right now so some of what I say might not make sense, but I just wanted to post about myself as soon as possible to get other people's opinions. I am currently an 18 year old male just graduated out of highschool. I have been somewhat sexually active with a few girls. Not sexual intercourse but oral sex both ways. So far only one girl that it has gone that far with. With her my body performed just fine and I enjoyed pleasing her and seeing a reaction but the whole experience messed me up for a while. I also never climaxed when I did anything with this girl (it was on two seperate occations, once for around 4 hours and the other about 20 minutes, I was physically arroused for about 95% of the time) I have questioned my sexuality in the past because of my feelings towards relationships with girls. It's hard for me to see myself as having a relationship with a girl as more than friends. I have stong physical attraction to women in general but sometimes their personalities get in the way. All this might have to do with me being my age and usually getting involved with girls who are not as mature as I am both by age and how they act. The way that I found out about this website is from my friend that just recently (last night around 3am) told me that he is gay. This has been quite a shock for me since he has been one of my better friends this past year at school. I have no problem with homosexuality whatsoever, it's just been confusing for me since I have always thought of him straight but just a bit feminine. Well I have talked to a few of my better friends about how I thought that I might have asexual tendencies but it's hard to say that since I had never really researched it that much. After reading some of the posts on this website I sort of fit into some of the asexual categories but not quite. I happen to be a very spiritual person so I do not connect myself (spirit) to my body completely. Well I am really having a hard time putting my thoughts together now. Sorry for the scrambled thoughts, I'm not a very good writer (got mostly Cs in English). If anyone knows what category I might fit in it would be extremely helpful if they could post it up here. I'll just sum up my sexual tendencies. I like girls a lot, I have been attracted to girls physically since I was about 12. I've never been attracted to guys. Sometimes I get fed up with the way girls think and act that I just lose attraction (this might go on for a couple days and then my hormones take over again). I think that I would be just fine without sex, its enjoyable but I don't see myself as having to have it. Whenever I have gotten intimate in anyway with a girl I usually am trying to please her and I am sort of enjoying it but it seems to be lacking something most of the time. My body on the other hand gets aroused by as little as holding hands. I really can't think anymore, if anyone has any questions I will be checking back on the board and keep looking up stuff and trying to figure things out. Thank you all for your time! PS I am also unsure of what language I am suppose to use on these boards so please let me know if anyone is offended so it won't happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Hmm... well, if you're attracted to girls, then you're probably not asexual, per se. But there should be some kind of term to describe those people who are attracted but just not that interested in acting on it. I suppose that term is celibate. The line is fuzzy, certainly, but I think that asexuality hinges on whether or not you're sexually attracted to another person. At the same time, wherever your attractions lie, you're certainly welcome on this board, and I wish you luck in trying to figure yourself out. It's a daunting task, I know. I hope you find the support you're looking for here :) Perhaps you just have a lower sex drive than most people. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
ogbg Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 If women turn you on, you aren't asexual :P But heck, you can still stick around and shoot the breeze with us!! hee hee hee WELCOME TO AVEN, I SAY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 WElcome to the AVEN sanctuary! Let yourself free fall! Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Hi and welcome! /me stares in awe at the amount of new members. Link to post Share on other sites
orderinchaos Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 You sound not unlike with girls what I'm like with guys, so you're probably something like a type C. Asexual is an identification rather than a scientific specification so it's all rather imprecise - each person identifies differently. Some are revulsed by sex, others have no problem with it but just don't actually want it. Welcome to AVEN and I hope you find here what you're looking for :) Link to post Share on other sites
ChoralGuy03 Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 Yea just a quick update. I am single yet again and doing fine. I think that I'm not asexual for the majority of the time but then going into modes where I am completely and just looking at anyone in a sexual way just seems wrong. I also forgot to mention, even though its not relevant, that I am anorexic (no appetite). Don't get it confused with Anorexia nervosa which is a disease. But yea so my body is kinda out of whack anyway. Well just wanted to drop in and say thank you to you all for taking a look at my story and telling me what you think. I am trying right now to be celebate when the heterosexual side of me kicks in occationally. Thanks again all! Link to post Share on other sites
wombat Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Welp....First off, Welcome to AVEN. I am still struggling if i am asexual too. But, I am pretty sure I am. You say that your attractted to ladies, right? It's just the entire sexual interaction thing throws you a bit? Hmm....I would say that your not "asexual".....but I wouldn't say that your normally sexual either. I would actually say that your HYPOsexual. There are two types of hyposexuals...kinda.....There is Hyposexuals within asexuality....and those outside of. I would say that your outside of asexual, but still hyposexual due to your decreased sex drive....but it's there. I still don't know about me. I sometimes actually get a physical attraction to ladies too....but i think it's more emotional....cause i don't have any desire to act out anything sexual whatsoever. It's just kinda "whoa...that's odd....huh". So It's been rather difficult..... But yeah....I would say that your fairly hyposexual....just not asexual. BUT your welcome to stay and talk about stuff with us A's......And asexual isn't a cut and dry deffinition either....it really depends on you. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? that's about it. so, HAZAA! Link to post Share on other sites
mcsquared Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 I have questioned my sexuality in the past because of my feelings towards relationships with girls. It's hard for me to see myself as having a relationship with a girl as more than friends. I have stong physical attraction to women in general but sometimes their personalities get in the way. That certainly makes sense to me. I'm surprised there's not more cross-gender discussion on the list...I'm wondering if the quirky alone label from http://www.todolistmagazine.com/quirkylikeus.html applies to you and if it would be a separate-yet-related category on this spectrum. Though labels are pretty arbitrary anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
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