Jump to content

What having sex feels like to an asexual...


Waffleguru

Recommended Posts

So on r/asexuality there was a guy asking a bunch of questions, and I was answering a few of them, and he asked, for aces who have had sex, what it actually feels like to them. This is the best comparison I could come up with!

thatawkward.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites
JackSlashJill

This is fabulous.

The reverse holds true as well: someone gettiing increasingly excited about shoving your finger in their nose over and over.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Nameless123

Just to add another perspective - some asexuals do enjoy sex as a way of generating closeness to their partner or even on a simple physical level. The comparison you draw might be valid for some but not for all asexuals.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to add another perspective - some asexuals do enjoy sex as a way of generating closeness to their partner or even on a simple physical level. The comparison you draw might be valid for some but not for all asexuals.

The guy on r/asexuality was mostly interested in physically what it felt like, since there was no overwhelming sense of pleasure or orgasm or anything, so that's what I went with :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
AshenPhoenix

Just to add another perspective - some asexuals do enjoy sex as a way of generating closeness to their partner or even on a simple physical level. The comparison you draw might be valid for some but not for all asexuals.

The guy on r/asexuality was mostly interested in physically what it felt like, since there was no overwhelming sense of pleasure or orgasm or anything, so that's what I went with :)

Err

Ughh

There is for me

But still this picture is just hilarious!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Significant Form

Oh my god, this is amazing! And at least as apt as the dish-washing metaphor.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ooh baby ooh baby XD Well if I ever do have sex now thank you I'll have that image in my head and probably be laughing hysterically the whole time ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites
FlaafyTaffy

I don't like this. Asexuality does not mean things down there don't feel good. Body parts still work. Stimulation still works. It feels good to some people. Sex can feel good to someone who is asexual, our bodies are built that way (physically). Not everyone can gain pleasure from sex- sexuals and asexuals alike. But just because you're asexual does not mean sex doesn't feel good.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't like this. Asexuality does not mean things down there don't feel good. Body parts still work. Stimulation still works. It feels good to some people. Sex can feel good to someone who is asexual, our bodies are built that way (physically). Not everyone can gain pleasure from sex- sexuals and asexuals alike. But just because you're asexual does not mean sex doesn't feel good.

True. Though I believe it's meant to be a bit of a joke.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Deleted_026

I was trying to think up an analogy in the bath tonight (since I'm expecting to have to explain this to everyone at some point). To me it's most like trying to eat a meal when you're not hungry, and the person you're with is ravenous and really enjoying it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hahaha, yup that´s pretty much how I experience it, since I don´t get aroused when with another person! :P

I used to be able to appreciate sex for the closeness it generated to my partner, but am now repulsed by it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AshenPhoenix

I was trying to think up an analogy in the bath tonight (since I'm expecting to have to explain this to everyone at some point). To me it's most like trying to eat a meal when you're not hungry, and the person you're with is ravenous and really enjoying it.

I was actually thinking of writing up a thread earlier that is basically split into different sections that summarize and explain different aspects of asexuality. To both aid in people coming out and for people who don't feel like explaining it. 'Cause I know I printed out a wikipedia page to give to the first person I came out to :unsure: And I didn't want to go back through and edit out some things that didn't apply to me, or the useless info nobody needs. Plus we could probably do it more thoroughly.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Notte stellata

Just to add another perspective - some asexuals do enjoy sex as a way of generating closeness to their partner or even on a simple physical level. The comparison you draw might be valid for some but not for all asexuals.

The guy on r/asexuality was mostly interested in physically what it felt like, since there was no overwhelming sense of pleasure or orgasm or anything, so that's what I went with :)

Asexuality != inability to achieve orgasm. I can reach orgasm and enjoy it. But it seems there are other aces who can reach orgasm but don't enjoy it. The picking nose analogy is funny, but it doesn't apply to every ace. Since you're educating the guy on asexuality, I think it's better to include different perspectives. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
HardToComeBy

This is fabulous.

The reverse holds true as well: someone gettiing increasingly excited about shoving your finger in their nose over and over.

There's another element to it when you're repulsed. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to add another perspective - some asexuals do enjoy sex as a way of generating closeness to their partner or even on a simple physical level. The comparison you draw might be valid for some but not for all asexuals.

The guy on r/asexuality was mostly interested in physically what it felt like, since there was no overwhelming sense of pleasure or orgasm or anything, so that's what I went with :)

Asexuality != inability to achieve orgasm. I can reach orgasm and enjoy it. But it seems there are other aces who can reach orgasm but don't enjoy it. The picking nose analogy is funny, but it doesn't apply to every ace. Since you're educating the guy on asexuality, I think it's better to include different perspectives. :)

I made it clear to him that this was just based on my personal experience, and that asexuality is a range of preferences and experiences and things like that, and that just because this is how I feel about sex, it doesn't necessarily mean that every asexual feels the same.

Link to post
Share on other sites

PS waffleguru I think you inspired me to do my own little doodles about asexual feelings and thoughts, thank you!

Link to post
Share on other sites

haha! I love this! I have had moments when sex felt exactly like that, and others when I enjoyed it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to add another perspective - some asexuals do enjoy sex as a way of generating closeness to their partner or even on a simple physical level. The comparison you draw might be valid for some but not for all asexuals.

The guy on r/asexuality was mostly interested in physically what it felt like, since there was no overwhelming sense of pleasure or orgasm or anything, so that's what I went with :)

Asexuality != inability to achieve orgasm. I can reach orgasm and enjoy it. But it seems there are other aces who can reach orgasm but don't enjoy it. The picking nose analogy is funny, but it doesn't apply to every ace. Since you're educating the guy on asexuality, I think it's better to include different perspectives. :)

I'm one of the ones that can reach orgasm but does not enjoy it. And this picture kinda works, though I would find someone shoving their finger in my nose more gross than sex. :lol: But yeah, it isn't the way for all aces.

Link to post
Share on other sites
JackSlashJill

This is fabulous.

The reverse holds true as well: someone gettiing increasingly excited about shoving your finger in their nose over and over.

There's another element to it when you're repulsed. :(

Good point, very true. Ermmm. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it'd be awesome if there was a collection of funny comics about the different experiences of different aces. It'd be good for us to all have a laugh, as opposed to pointing out our differences. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

PS waffleguru I think you inspired me to do my own little doodles about asexual feelings and thoughts, thank you!

If you do, I hope you share them on the website! I would love to see! :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
soMeRandoM670

what i could or have gotten from it , you hear and involved in joke but have no idea why it's fun or even what the joke is about. sometimes people enjoy laughing with them despite full understanding it, while others don't or even didn't enjoy hearing it at all, some don't join in the first place . :]

Link to post
Share on other sites
FlaafyTaffy

I think it'd be awesome if there was a collection of funny comics about the different experiences of different aces. It'd be good for us to all have a laugh, as opposed to pointing out our differences. :)

It would be good as long as there are clear descriptions of the differences. If we are going to spread awareness/education we have to make sure and be clear to the definition of asexuality. Asexuality is not the inability to get pleasure from sexual things, We don't want to be sending out that message "funny" or not.

Link to post
Share on other sites
If you do, I hope you share them on the website! I would love to see! :D

Sure thing!

It would be good as long as there are clear descriptions of the differences. If we are going to spread awareness/education we have to make sure and be clear to the definition of asexuality. Asexuality is not the inability to get pleasure from sexual things, We don't want to be sending out that message "funny" or not.

I think as long as we're making it clear this is "one asexual's perspective" (which I think Waffleguru did indicate it was to the person doing the asking) it's all cool. The definition of asexuality itself has a great many nuances attached to it. i think it would be nearly impossible to present it under one big black and white umbrella

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...