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AVENues - July/August 2013


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After a rather lengthy hiatus, the July/August 2013 issue of AVENues is here! AVENues is free to print and distribute. If you want your work featured in AVENues, send an email to newsletter@asexuality.org. The submission deadline for the September/October issue is 24 August.

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Previous Issues:

May/June 2012 (Issue #24)

May/June 2011 (Issue #23)

Relevant Links:

AVENues

AVENues Archive

AVENues Facebook Page

AVEN Project Team tumblr

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  • 1 month later...
Glitter Spock

I really enjoyed Talia's piece on asexual elitism and the current shape it takes in the asexual community today, which is in the form of "You can't be asexual if you want to have sex for the reason of liking how it feels, even if you don't experience sexual attraction to anyone." I have brushed up against that kind of asexual elitism, and at the time, I thought that I couldn't be asexual and had to be gray asexual instead, despite that my motivation for pursuing sexual activity wasn't sexual attraction (I called it "assisted masturbation"). I am very thankful to Talia for the analysis in that piece.

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I was actually slightly worried to click the discussion page because I know I wrote about a potentially transgressive topic so I just wanted to say thank you for the support. :) I was really happy to be able to share how I feel about my asexuality and I'm really glad it resonated with someone else's experience.

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I really enjoyed Talia's piece on asexual elitism and the current shape it takes in the asexual community today, which is in the form of "You can't be asexual if you want to have sex for the reason of liking how it feels, even if you don't experience sexual attraction to anyone." I have brushed up against that kind of asexual elitism, and at the time, I thought that I couldn't be asexual and had to be gray asexual instead, despite that my motivation for pursuing sexual activity wasn't sexual attraction (I called it "assisted masturbation"). I am very thankful to Talia for the analysis in that piece.

I didn't realize that asexual elitism was still a large problem within this community, but it is subtle nowadays, and I've only seen a few blatant instances. I hope I haven't accidentally enabled it. I have met only a few asexuals who enjoy sex for what it is; is 'sex-favorable' the term for them?

Have you seen this thread?: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/86628-sa/

It was created to challenge the idea that asexuals can't enjoy sex, in response to some elitism that happened in chat that day. I pointed someone to that thread, who enjoyed sex but wasn't sure if they were asexual because of that. On the second page, I told them that I didn't know if there are simply few sex-favorable(?) asexuals or if there are more, but under-represented.

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Mark Carrigan wrote a response to your essay, Talia, in which he states that he needs to improve his model to take sex-favorable asexuals into account. !!

Thank you very much for alerting me to that. :) That's extremely exciting.

It was created to challenge the idea that asexuals can't enjoy sex, in response to some elitism that happened in chat that day. I pointed someone to that thread, who enjoyed sex but wasn't sure if they were asexual because of that. On the second page, I told them that I didn't know if there are simply few sex-favorable(?) asexuals or if there are more, but under-represented.

Another option I've wondered about is: are there more people who fall under what I would consider to be a 'sex-favourable asexual' but they don't label themselves as such because their behaviour matches a person who isn't asexual? As an asexual panromantic, my behaviour is probably indistinguishable from many pansexual people. So as Mark Carrigan pointed out in his reply, the interesting thing to figure out would be what brings those 'sex-favourable' asexuals to an asexual identity? For me personally it was because I've known for a while that I don't experience sexual attraction so I've identified as asexual for years. I didn't take on the sex-favourable identity until I realized that my experiences were different from other asexuals I met in the community and I needed to do some soul searching and find a more specific label that accurately represented me. If I had not decided I was asexual first, I probably would not have come to an asexual sex-favourable label.

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  • 4 weeks later...

hi, sorry 'bout posting here, since it's been a few months. But I'm having trouble accessing the PDFs off of google drive, does/can anyone provide an alternate link for them. (the page loads to say "Sorry, we are unable to retrieve the document for viewing or you don't have permission to view the document." then when I click download it tells me it can't do the virus scan, and I click download anyways, and it fails to load the next page).

never mind working now

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never mind working now

.

Oh, good. It would be sad to lose AVENues. I read every issue. We have 25 now!

Thanks for the awesome essay, Talia. And it was cool that Mark read and replied.

:cake: and :vis: to Talia for asexual visibility and education.

And :cake: to whoever did the layout and art. It looks nice.

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