Do You Look Asexual?

[latinist1983]

I've never really had to come out, because people seem to think that I give off asexual vibes. This seems to be because I don't dress in a sexual manner or even in a fashionable or flattering manner, I don't talk about sex or relationships, and don't wear makeup. Nobody ever asks "Why isn't latinist1983 in a relationship?" because they seem to know on some level that I'm not into that. Is this true for anyone else? How does a "stereotypical asexual" look?

[5_♦♣]

I don't think there is a stereotypical way for an Asexual to look.

[Janus the Fox]

Theres no typical way to dress to denote orientation. It would be culture specific, but there will be individuals that simply dress as they feel like.

[blue idiot]

Actually, yes, I think I look asexual. Somewhat.

I don't think there's a typical asexual style though..

Personally, I like to dress in lots of bright colours, but with very simple cuts. Normally black pants go with two differently coloured shirts or a tshirt with writing on it, colourful shoes and that's it. In no way can anyone consider me sexy..

And I think I have an asexual mannerism that makes people think me rather innocent. It's mainly unintentional and I like it very much.

[Breetanya]

Um... does being described as looking like a frigid bitch count?

It always gives me warm fuzzies when I hear that description in regards to me. ^_^

[spoony]

I spend a great deal of my time ignoring people, particularly women who sometimes want my attention - i guess that makes me look asexual.

That - and maybe my track suit and loafers.

[Schrecken]

There probably isn't any asexual "look" per-se but I do think that it may have to do with the vibes a person gives off. I'm in the same situation as the OP - I practically never get asked about romantic or sexual relationships, as though people simply assume that I have no interest in having those kinds of relationships. I honestly can't remember the last time anyone queried me about my relationship status, interests, or anything of the sort. Almost like someone wouldn't expect a dog that they know has been neutered to have any interest in dogs of the opposite sex. I suppose maybe asexuals give out an "I'm not available to anyone" vibe, whatever that might be.

[AceAnon]

I don't think there's a specific asexual stereotype when it comes to looks. If anything, it'd be more of a behavioural thing. Like others have said, the "vibe" someone gives off.

[Guest]

I don't think there's something physical to how asexuals look, but yes, I do think that I give off some kind of asexual vibe. I don't know why, I just perceive it in how people treat me: I've never been courted for my looks only (the people who were attracted to me in the past liked me for my personality, not my looks alone), never been called "hot" to my knowledge, and I'm generally friendzoned automatically by people of the opposite sex, something that I haven't seen happen very often to other people. Also, when I come out as asexual, people are nowhere near surprised. Some of them told me they'd even guessed it long before I told them. Well, if that isn't an ace vibe, I don't know what is. :P

[Sparky9738]

I don't think I do, based on other's reactions. For a while, when I was questioning if I was gay, I thought I gave off a semi-lesbian vibe... masculine shoes, boxy t-shirts.... but then apparently I still looked feminine.

I think it would be nice to look visibly asexual. It would save me a lot of awkward conversations where I have to correct people's incorrect assumptions about me.

On the other hand, there is a privilege which comes with looking visibly straight.

Not to mention that fact that I assumed I was straight for so much of my young life, and never questioned my gender, so it's sort of my natural style to dress like a girl.

[FaerieFate]

It's a combination of what you wear and how you act in my opinion. For instance, I never wear make-up or "sexy" clothes. I think that I dress very asexual because I don't wear as little clothing as possible whenever I have the chance. In fact, I'm quite the opposite because I wear my jacket and jeans whenever I can. I think that this makes me looks asexual (even though I haven't been able too lately making all of my new friends think that I dress to look "sexy" even if I only dress to be comfortable and don't care what anyone else thinks).

However, I apparently act extremely sexual. Even if I had no idea what sex was, they'd still think that I act sexually because they can't seem to wrap their mind around the idea of innocence and someone that just wants hugs and cuddles.

Unfortunately, I'll never be lucky enough to have those instances where peopel already know that I'm asexual.

[Fllay]

Uh... what do typical asexual looks like anyway? I don't think there's a stereotype for that... (yet)

As for me, I don't think so. People found me scary, but not asexual.

[Seou]

I don't think someone can look asexual.

I think you can look uninterested and maybe that's it?

I mean, there isn't really a socially defined stereotype fro asexuals yet, so there isn't really a categorical appearance...I think.

[Misplaced]

I think I have an asexual look.

That explains why no one ever talks to me randomly in the street, why I don't get whistled at anymore. :D

[PirouettingHeart]

I'm going to step out and say I love to dress up and be girly. I'm an artist, I work a lot with people in my art, I appreciate people and clothes and makeup on an aesthetic level. What can I say, I'm a visual person. I keep my makeup light, but I like to paint my nails and wear pretty things, go shopping. I am comfortable wearing less clothes sometimes because I am comfortable with my body. It might not be stereotypical of being asexual, but it really has nothing to do with me being or not being asexual. The difference between me and the next girl is that I'm not doing it to be sexually attractive. I just like it. I've gotten cat called when I'm dressed up, I've gotten cat called when I was wearing jeans and a tshirt, I've had people who don't know me invite me to threesomes, I've had people that I've had several conversations with tell me I come off as a little prude (probably because I don't comment or talk about sex/things related as much as people my age).

*shrug*

I don't plan on coming out except to people that might be interested in me enough to pursue a sexual relationship or to people that are overly worried about me not being in a sexual relationship.

[Rochnariel]

I hate stereotypes with a passion. I don't classify people on looks; I don't really notice physical appearance in anyone much less enough to classify people by it.

I don't think people classify me as ace based on appearance. I've always been a bit of a tomboy, because I grew up with only boys around and played a lot of sports. I work in a semi-casual professional environment. I go to work in jeans and nice shirts most days. I'm just a single college grad starting a career to coworkers; pretty much everyone I work with is, so it doesn't come up. People know that I don't do casual relationships, so it never strikes them as odd that I blow off guys when we go out.

I think it isn't appearance that stops people from asking about relationships. It's knowing enough about you to know you aren't interested. I doubt most people jump directly to ace from there.

[A Taste of Harmony]

Maybe.

I also agree more with vive theory :P and I also think it will depend on how you conduct yourself with peers and what kind of social circle you have.

In my case, people tend to stop talking about sex/relationship related issues when I'm present.

Not exactly sure, but people kind of learn that I'm no use for those so the conversation tend to die off with me.

And when I don't get references or jokes they give up trying to explaining it to me. ^_^

I sometimes get the feeling that they are waiting for me to talk, but I've got almost nothing to talk about.

[MadRat]

I don't think there's something physical to how asexuals look, but yes, I do think that I give off some kind of asexual vibe. I don't know why, I just perceive it in how people treat me: I've never been courted for my looks only (the people who were attracted to me in the past liked me for my personality, not my looks alone), never been called "hot" to my knowledge, and I'm generally friendzoned automatically by people of the opposite sex, something that I haven't seen happen very often to other people.

This.

I was courted only once for my looks, I´ve never been called "hot" or "sexy" and very rarely "pretty" or "beautiful". I´m usually friendzoned too by guys and treated like one of them. Some people assumed I´m lesbian. I think it has a lot to do with my lack of typical feminine looks and behavior.

[Arctic_Revenge]

I've been told that I have a severely... seductive vibe. Though I dress like a librarian and I'm not very attractive,

I apparently come across as Dominatrix sexy. I am a Domme, but sexy isn't exactly something I try to or want to be.

I have seen a pattern in what AVEN users look like and act like, but I won't say what it is because people might not like it.

[sanremi52890]

I think there definitely is a stereotypically asexual way to look (think Sheldon Cooper....), but whether that actually corresponds to reality is doubtful.

Some people definitely give off very sexual vibes, and some people very non-sexual ones, but again, who knows how much that actually corresponds to the person's level of sexuality.

One of my close friends who I strongly suspect to be asexual, actually dresses in a very sexual manner, i.e. low-cut shirts and tight jeans. I think it's just her way of experssing of feminintiy. Based off things she has said, (that she has never had a crush, ever, and that she doesn't particularly want to have sex) I feel pretty confident that she is asexual, or very nearly so, despite the way she dresses.

Personally, I don't think I have ever been suspected of being asexual, probably because I'm so romantic.

[daisylove]

Hmmm interesting topic.

I've mostly dressed somewhat gender neutral but I love what would be termed "girly" stuff. I have long hair (and plan to keep it that way WELL into old old age) and I wear makeup, although just because I'm getting older I feel like I look better with less.

My typical look is something like black capris or leggings and a black tee.... black turtlenecks and other sweaters/jackets in winter. I feel my look is feminine/sporty?

I think the main reason that people may think I'm asexual (if they even know the term) is that I'mnot in a relationship, not dating and I dont talk about men. I also dont make any jokes using sexual innuendo. I dont talk about my sex life (obvs lol!!). That would probably be most peoples first clue over how I dress or look.

[Guest]

I think there definitely is a stereotypically asexual way to look (think Sheldon Cooper....), but whether that actually corresponds to reality is doubtful.

Comic geek shirts and weird color patterns, or what? :lol:

[Sally]

Considering that both my ex-husband and my ex-partner thought I was sexy (years ago), and that I have been asexual all my life, obviously I didn't.

Also considering the comments above, there's no "asexual" look.

[Dirge]

Huh. I had never really thought about looking 'asexual'. Androgynous, yes, but not asexual. What would that even look like?

Obviously not looking to get laid? Creeping out small children at a glance? 'Cause I mean, I have those covered.

[panda_bunny]

I don't think that someone can technically "look" asexual. You obviously can't tell what someone's sexual orientation is just by glancing at them, but like some above posters said some of us may give us an "asexual vibe". People might pick up that we are not interested in sex. I am technically not "out" as an asexual yet, but apparently alot of people seem to automatically know that sex isn't really my thing. Whenever a book or movie contains a sex scene, people i know "warn me" about it, because I'm so "innocent". I always found those warnings pretty silly though. I don't really mind reading or watching something that contains sex, i just don't have a huge interest in doing it myself.

I'm not sure if my look plays a role for me giving off the immpression of "innocence", but I always dress pretty causally. I usually just wear a T-shirt (often times a graphic T from the men's department) and jeans. I don't like wearing make up either, though i will occasionally wear a hat or a bow in my hair.

[Arcovia]

I don't think it's possible to "look" asexual. If there was a common asexual stereotype that included appearance, then one could look like the stereotype, but that's not the same thing. Given that almost all the possible "asexual looks" I've seen mentioned are based on the assumption one is female just reenforces my view. If looking asexual is not wearing makeup or "slutty" clothes, then what does that mean for the half of society where the "norm" is just that?

[Captain DDR]

I wouldn't say so. I pay some attention to the way I look, I have a rather unique style and while it's definitely not a sexual look in any way, I do get a certain amount of attention from the opposite sex. It's mainly foreign girls though, which is easily explained by my blonde hair, blue eyes and tall stature, but for some reason older ladies go absolutely CRAZY for me. On some level I enjoy that attention but still it's mainly disconcerting and awkward. Luckily enough the men are normally supposed to make the first move, so normally I can just ignore the flirting. :)

If anything, I seem to give off a 'hippie' vibe of sorts and get constantly asked for weed by random people. I've never quite understood the hippie thing but the vibe must be pretty strong since people don't usually believe me when I say that I don't smoke weed at all, and strangers just naturally expect me to be a vegetarian.

[Grace Barton]

Funnily enough, everyone I meet thinks I'm a lesbian. I clearly give off lesbian vibes. Whenever people see me and my best friend together, we're often asked if we're dating or 'how long have you been seeing each other' and we end up laughing. Even our own family members think we're lesbians. None of them know I'm asexual and she's bisexual.

So in answer to your question, no, I don't. Though I think that's because most people I know don't even know what asexuality is. If they did, they'd probably reconsider the 'lesbian' view of me, considering I show no interest in females either. XD

[R_1]

Look asexual? How does one look asexual? Even if one is dressed in a "indecent" matter, I wouldn't assume that person is a sexual or an asexual based on that though I will admit that the person in question is most likely a sexual only because majority is.

[praetorius]

I'm not particularly great at reading what "vibes" other people give off --- so I'm probably not a reliable judge of how I'm seen by other people, either. But if I had to guess how I might be perceived by strangers, I suspect something along the lines of "crazy homeless person".