Jump to content

What the hell


Recommended Posts

What the hell, I am tired of sexual beings. Everywhere I go, I have to hear people talking about sexual attraction. It's everywhere. I try to get away from it as much as I could. That's why I spend most of my time in my bedroom alone. Today I went to the library and was going to check out some superheroe comic books until I noticed that the comics had some half-nude cartoon drawings of men and women. Although the comic books did not dedicate all their pages to disgusting stuff like that, it still pissed me off. What the hell, most of the people who read that stuff are kids. What the hell are these idiots teaching kids? It's really hard to find good books to read that do not talk about sexual attraction, kissing, or the sexual act. I find all of them disturbing and annoying. I can't even watch tv because of this disease the world spreads to people's minds. I have social anxiety. However, it wouldn't be hard for me to make friends if people my age did not talk about sexual attraction. That's why, I guess, I only have one friend. However, he lives in another state, and whenever I call him, he rarely answers his cell phone. At least he is not into things that I find disturbing and annoying. So here I am, home alone again, as usual, hoping to find normal (asexual-100% asexual) people to talk to on yahoo messenger. I am so alone that I feel like giving normal(asexual, meaning 100% asexual, not that bi, gay, straight-asexual crap, whatever the hell that means..) people my phone number. Anyone here who can't take it anymore living in this sexual world?????????

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm

Sex is not evil or sick or a disease, it's just biology. Just because you don't understand it doesn't make it bad.

Personally, I think you've taken the wrong approach which is bound to lead to frustration and anger. I would say relax and don't let things get to you. Stress just takes years off your life for no reason.

Statistically speaking asexuality is a long way from being the 'normal' state. Although it is more pleasant to socialise with people who have the kind of mental framework, and see things from your own point of view more easily.. it's also important to empathise because like it or not sexual society is not going anywhere.

If you want to talk, i'll be on AIM for a little while.

Link to post
Share on other sites
bard of aven

Um, not me. But if you added your yahoo messenger handle to your profile, some folk here might like to chat with you. Though I will refrain, being part of the gay asexual crap contingent.

boa

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't "like" the supersex world but not to the point of distraction. I find it easy enough to avoid because most of the time, I'm too stupid to catch the innuendos LOL. Perhaps the kids don't see the significance in nude bodies in cartoons either. A nude body isn't a problem (well, mine is an eyesore but I've yet to be solicited to model for a cartoon).

Tho' also being part of the lesbian asexual crap contingent - I guess I have no voice either.

An asexual world would be fine with me but like Chozo said, it's not that sex is evil or a disease. I grow weary of it in all areas of entertainment, too but I AM able to avoid it without becoming recluse.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's just something that asexuals who feel that way have to put up with. We're the minority and the sad, simple fact is that sex sells.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Frustrating as it is, we are a minority amid a sea of raging hormones. I get tired of having to deal with over-the-top sexual innuendo and the like wherever I go, but the good news is so are many sexuals. Must say, the whole using sex to sell thing can be rather amusing at times too, if unintentionally so. It does take a bit of grin and bearing when I hang out with my boy-crazy female friends or girl-crazy male friends, but it's also part of who they are--just as my total indifference on "who's hot" is part of me. My friends put up with me somehow, so I figure I should return the gesture. :P

I have one friend (male, gay, sexual) whom I can discuss asexuality with openly (all forms of sexuality, actually) and it makes all the difference. Like I can feel part of the world again when I otherwise would have felt cut off from most of it.

<-- straight-A crap contingent and damn proud of it

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah well, it's easy to be frustrated when you're in a minority group. But try not to eschew tolerance, since that's what you'd ask for yourself.

I do empathise with you, though. I once heard it said that "there are only three things in life: birth, love and death". This can apply to any human society at any point in history. And it aggravates me sometimes that over all time, the central concern (or at least 66% of it) of the human race has been sex - in the guise of marriage for romantic or dynastic reasons in the past, and also for its commercial value nowadays.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I empathise with you - it can get so irritating when everything you try to enjoy ends up dumping another sex scene or pointless relationship on you. I've learned to ignore these things or look at them from a more detached perspective, but it can be hard sometimes, especially when my sister starts teasing me about it (I know she doesn't mean to, but...).

As part of the slightly rarer pan-asexual crap contingent, however, I am a little bothered by your dismissal of asexual sub-orientations. Not because it offends me, but because I think that looking for a '100% asexual' person to talk to might add to your stress. A lot of us feel intellectual, emotional, or aesthetic attraction to one gender or another, and you may be limiting yourself by thinking that makes us 'less' asexual. It seems like you're looking to talk to someone who isn't going to be going on about how great sex is all the time, and whether we identify as straight-A, gay-A, or anything else, we certainly won't be doing that.

If you insist on only talking to someone you feel is 100% asexual, you may be limiting yourself. Talking things out is very theraputic, and I wouldn't want to see you become even more frustrated over a misunderstanding.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Live R Perfect

Sexual references in culture generally don't bother me. I recognise that 99% of people don't mind this sort of thing, and that - from a marketing point of view - sex will therefore sell to the vast majority. I don't get squicked out by seeing these things, but I don't seek them out either.

I don't really get this '100% asexual' crap either. It seems to me that you think that the only true asexuals are those who aren't at all atttracted to anyone in anyway whatsoever EVER. Well here's a newsflash for you: attraction doesn't have to be sexual in nature. I mean, you are attracted to your one friend for a particular reason, and THAT isn't sexual, is it?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Opel the Old

being a lesbo-a, i have to put up with the over-sexual world, also, i have to put up with all the retarded gay bashing idiots (which is much worse than what you are encountering)

ya, i hate all these slurs, but we have got to be in the society (not like we can develop our own planet), i alieniate myself but we still have to be in touch with this world

after a busy day, i would go home, and i know when i am at home, i can escape most of the over-sexual conversation and gay slurs.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Mobius,

Sounds like you are a hyper-asexual. Which is not a bad thing trust me. I can sympathise. Has the world gone to far with the sexual display, probably. Do I agree with it no, do I keep it to myself and deal with it. Of course I do. There are things that I accept because I have no power to change it. But here's the problem in your logic with socialization. If you limit yourself to 100% asexual you are limiting your self to a small population.

I saw your comment on Social Anxiety. Are you taking any kind of meds like Paxil for this? A good friend of mind has this problem and paxil got him out and meeting people. Also if you don't like the conversation people are having then don't get into the conversation but it doesn't mean you can't talk to them. You have other intrests like comic's.

All else fails you have us to talk to here but not all of us are 100% asexuals. But are sympathetic to your situation. Give us a chance to help.

-ASF

Link to post
Share on other sites

My math stinks and I don't know what 100% asexual is but I experience no sexual interest in men or women. I'm pretty secure with who I am.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Carsonspire

Mobius,

I (and most of us here) understand how it feels to live in an over-sexualized society. The perpetual stress associated with navigating such a society can be a lot to deal with at times.

What I don't understand is what you mean by "100% asexual." Do you mean no attraction to anyone on any level (the old range D asexuality)? We all have the tendency to look for people like ourselves, but I caution you against dismissing all other combinations of (a)sexuality. By referring to "that bi, gay, straight-asexual crap", you run the risk of offending people who do fit into those categories, and more importantly, you perpetuate prejudice and stereotypes against those people. Who knows--if you look a little closer you may see a glimpse of yourself reflected in those descriptions. If not, that's perfectly okay, too, but be sure to allow others the freedom to describe themselves how they wish without having to worry about hate speech from within their own community.

Peace,

Carsonspire

Link to post
Share on other sites
I caution you against dismissing all other combinations of (a)sexuality. By referring to "that bi, gay, straight-asexual crap", you run the risk of offending people who do fit into those categories

Or amuse them LOL

Link to post
Share on other sites

cijay

Carsonspire wrote:

I caution you against dismissing all other combinations of (a)sexuality. By referring to "that bi, gay, straight-asexual crap", you run the risk of offending people who do fit into those categories

Or amuse them LOL

...................

Or maybe not.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Wild Seven

Mobius, there isnt problem in your Aness or disgusting by sexual society; but in the way you look on other people in general. You dont display tollerance, rather you are hateful. Thats not good. People aren´t crap-only fascists and other totalitarians thought like that. And no, I dont feel offended. I am just really, really sorry for all intollerant minds. Blindness to humanity in all its variety is something that made only violence, and who, in our very collapsing world, needs that ??? We have enough blind-hearted people without you added to that, or don´t we? :wink:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't have posted otherwise, but I wanted to say I'm 100% abnormal whatever-asexual crap. If you're interested in talking, I use msnm.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Frigid Pink

Well, I, too am frustrated with the oversexualized world, but since coming to AVEN I have tried to change my outlook on a lot of things. I am still working on it, too, and trying to be less frustrated. For example, a friend of mine has invited me over a few times to watch "Dr. Who" and there are both males and females there (all sexual). The topic of conversation can generally turn to sex talk (i.e. sex stories, sexual conquests, etc.). Since we are there to watch "Dr. Who," I just stay out of the convo (background noise) and focus on what I'm watching. I really don't care to hear it, but I am the minority, Everyone else is into the conversation, and as long as I'm not "attacked" or anything (like when people tell people they are asexual) then I'm cool. I mean, it isn't fair for me to tell them to stop talking about their sex lives is it, when they are not neccesarily talking to just me about it or me at all?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I love your bunny in your sig. It IS a bunny isn't it? Oooooh, so sweet!

Anyway, I haven't the energy/time to be offended by people I don't know who insist they know who I am so I opt to be amused. As they grow, they'll learn that their opinions aren't as important as they once thought.

Link to post
Share on other sites
bard of aven
As they grow, they'll learn that their opinions aren't as important as they once thought.

Who was it said change is inevitable, but growth is optional???

boa

Link to post
Share on other sites

Right - I regress, I should've said If they grow, shouldn't I have?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Frigid Pink
I love your bunny in your sig. It IS a bunny isn't it? Oooooh, so sweet!

Anyway, I haven't the energy/time to be offended by people I don't know who insist they know who I am so I opt to be amused. As they grow, they'll learn that their opinions aren't as important as they once thought.

Yeah---it is a bunny. I LOVE bunnies---they're so cute (though I didn't actually make this one myself---I "stole" it from a friend).

Yeah, I guess I should just be amused, too. It is just really annoying when people assume you are a certain way etc., but I guess as they get to know me better they'll find out I'm different. I mean, I feel uncomfortable just blurting out "Hey, I'm asexual and I don't care" or something like that. But is there anything I can say (that isn't rude) to let people know I don't want to hear such things if the and when the talk pops up? I mean, must I sit there, silent, and hear it? I don't know...I, too, am still growing and learning and trying to be comfortable "in my own skin." I just want to find a happy medium.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Yeah, I guess I should just be amused, too. It is just really annoying when people assume you are a certain way etc., but I guess as they get to know me better they'll find out I'm different. I mean, I feel uncomfortable just blurting out "Hey, I'm asexual and I don't care" or something like that. But is there anything I can say (that isn't rude) to let people know I don't want to hear such things if the and when the talk pops up? I mean, must I sit there, silent, and hear it? I don't know...I, too, am still growing and learning and trying to be comfortable "in my own skin." I just want to find a happy medium.

If I can't walk away (not in a huff, just get up and wander away) then I just zizz out into my own world. Someone on the board here, can't remember who but they had a good line when they were in with people who know s/he was A, s/he said "well, it's different from my point of view."

Im the same as you, nobody knows I'm A. Not because I'm not comfortable with the skin I'm in but because nobody has asked but I have, on occasion said "you know, I always think of sex as being a private, personal thing between any partners involved and not shared with the whole world. I dunno', I find it kind of "insenstive" to everyone to spew out all the details to anyone who is around."

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm very much tired of the sexual world too. But I'm deaf, so I almost never hear people talking about sex. Once I caught people (my friend's friends) talking about it when I asked her what they were laughing about. I have social anxiety too, especially when I'm around males. I have many girl friends but not a single guy friend! But I wouldn't have problem making friend with guys if they were gay or asexual or much much older than I. I don't allow myself to talk to guys often. I'm afraid they would become (sexually) attracted to me as we become friends. I don't know what the HELL sexual attraction is, which is very alien to me, so the best thing I can do is to stay away from (straight) guys.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

MobiusX, you can PM me on Yahoo! at ophtha1mos. (That's a one, not an L.) Totally know where you're coming from!

As for the biology argument...

Sex is biology? Is biology obsessive in nature? Is compulsive-over eating biology?

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's unfair and unrealistic to ask sexuals not to talk about sex. I found that one out the not-so-easy way. It's fair to ask them not to talk about it with you, but you can't assume that they'll do this instinctively. I often feel frustrated/uncomfortable when the conversation around me has been excessively sexual, particularly heterosexual (I'm one of the gay hyposexual ones), but then I just try and talk to someone else about something I feel happier about, if I can. Getting myself worked up about it isn't productive, and shutting other people out because of it is a very, very bad idea. I found that out the not-so-easy way too.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't mind if people are talking about sex, whatever, talk about what you want.

What frustrates me is that there are so many ads about TV and medication and it's always some practically naked girl posing next to the TV or holding a bottle of the medication.

For instance Abercrombie...I've seen pubic hair in their magazines, which were sent to us even though we did not order them. In stores in the city I live in, they have huge posters of people kissing.

This is the kind of thing that frustrates me. In terms of conversation, talk about whatever the hell you want.

It's just, does everything we read and look at have to have some sort of sexual reference?

Link to post
Share on other sites
What frustrates me is that there are so many ads about TV and medication and it's always some practically naked girl posing next to the TV or holding a bottle of the medication.

For instance Abercrombie...I've seen pubic hair in their magazines, which were sent to us even though we did not order them. In stores in the city I live in, they have huge posters of people kissing.

This is the kind of thing that frustrates me. In terms of conversation, talk about whatever the hell you want.

It's just, does everything we read and look at have to have some sort of sexual reference?

Frustrating, I agree. I guess it's something we''ll have to deal with and get over, at least for the foreseeable future, because, in the vast majority of cases, sex sells, and advertisers have, as yet, no reason to stop showing those images. Sad, but true.

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's unfair and unrealistic to ask sexuals not to talk about sex. I found that one out the not-so-easy way. It's fair to ask them not to talk about it with you, but you can't assume that they'll do this instinctively. I often feel frustrated/uncomfortable when the conversation around me has been excessively sexual, particularly heterosexual (I'm one of the gay hyposexual ones), but then I just try and talk to someone else about something I feel happier about, if I can. Getting myself worked up about it isn't productive, and shutting other people out because of it is a very, very bad idea. I found that out the not-so-easy way too.

I have a number of online friends and I can't recall its having arisen as a topic recently. So either these people are all asexual - I've never asked, and it doesn't seem statistically likely - or even sexuals can discuss other things. Maybe they're more educated types though *shrugs*

When it did arise a long time ago I got very uncomfortable and I think they sensed that and changed to another discussion. That was a PM though... For chatrooms, if you go to an age-restricted chatroom there shouldn't be any mention of it. The point of most chatrooms is to discuss a particular interest, isn't it? So just try one whose topic isn't 'sex' :-P

As for the biology argument...

Sex is biology? Is biology obsessive in nature? Is compulsive-over eating biology?

Defacating is biological. Urinating is biological. Sleeping and eating and dreaming and loving and living - are all biological too. Cute bunnies and deadly snakes are biological. It doesn't mean much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...