For the aromantics: what's your ideal future?

[ArtemisLiCa]

I think that if I ever found my ideal, it would be someone who lived close to me, in the same small town or village, just a few houses or streets away. We'd have a sort of 'romantic friendship,' spend a lot of time at each other's homes, cook and eat together, read and watch TV and play games, and even stay over from time-to-time, but we'd never actually move in together. I don't know if there's anyone else out there willing to take on that kind of arrangement, though.

I think this is pretty much my ideal too. I want a queerplatonic partner, but I think I'd prefer to have my own house, all to myself. I know I want to own my own home someday and maybe have some pets, but I'd rather not live with anyone else. A friend to spend time with, a nice house and a good job is all I could ask for.

[AeternaAce]

I never really thought of my future except the fact that I want to be alone in whatever I do in my future, because I cannot even begin to think about spending my life with a another person all the time.... I'll just see where life takes me, and I'll just try to live without regrets or debts.

[Lyrix]

I'm not too sure if I'm aromantic or not but I would love to share my life plans/dreams.

I don't really want a partner, but I have a fear of people being inside my house; robbers and murderers, so a partner would be useful to get up and check if there is anyone around the corner... Or I could equip myself with loads of locks on doors, and train hard in martial arts so I can kick intruders butt's. Hahaha anyway...

I really want a deep connection with a horse, one that I can ride tackless and trust my life on. Therefore I would love to live next to the New Forest or some sorts where I could outride in.

Also i would like to adopt cats, and rats, I love rats <3

As for a job, I would like to just sit at home and make art ^-^ Or own a cattery/kennel, or own a horse stable, or even breed rats or cats. Or just work in a zoo.

Also would love to travel, see 30 national parks or something, see the Amazon rainforest.

But most of all I want to be fulfilled, my dreams will change, I just want to live an interesting, fulfilling life, whatever I may end up doing, I will make sure I enjoy it!

[Algorithmus]

I'd like to continue being childfree and single. Not sure if I want to spend it on travel, because I'm not too sure where I'd like to go, even though I get enough vacation hours to try it, but my free time is spent on doing stuff I like, including drawing, video games, and making games for fun as well. I don't really know if it will amount to much, but that doesn't really bother me. I just do it because I enjoy it, and that's what I think life should be about. Enjoying yourself.

And I guess I'd like to have some sort of piano sometime in the future. If I can find a flat large enough for one.

Other than that, I guess I'm kind of already living my dream. It may not be much of a dream to others, as I'm not a celebrity, nor am I stinking rich; I'm just happy, the country I live in suits my lifestyle, I like the place I work at, and the people around me don't suck.

[ejjury]

Trying to find my Watson.

[KatieDidn't]

I want to move to a place with a colder climate. I love skiing, so being close to or in the mountains would be ideal. I would like to travel some more, preferably in Europe. I hope to have a good job with good pay. I love reading, so a larger area to store all of my books would be needed. Since I love dogs, I would like to have at least two small to medium sized dogs.

[runester]

I've already passed the 'been there, done that' stage of life. I am an aro ace.

I have reached Enlightenment through Nirvana and am enjoying a fine, quiet existence in a lovely place to live. Essentially, I'm happy; and wouldn't change a thing in my contentment!

I wish you all the same! :)

[Comrade Eden]

I don't even know if I am aromantic or grey-romantic or something else, and I don't even know what my ideal future is. It's a wee-bit awful.

I always wondered how someone could have 2.5 kids. Do they have three kids and cut off half of one?

Sometimes I laugh and think of myself as a half child. In my father's nuclear family there is my father, my step-mother, and my two half brothers, who are both completely biologically from both of the parents. I am the .5 child.

[TripleA]

Chill. Read. Work. Ultimately perish.

[AlexPeyton]

hm, my ideal future is having a small, decent-looking apartment abroad.

i don't ever see myself "settling down" i don't want children and i don't think i'll ever get married, but honestly it depends if i find my "ideal" person.

it'd be nice to travel the world with someone, between my jobs. they wouldn't be clingy or too demanding and understand i wouldn't be keen on their idea of a relationship. just a person looking for some company travelling the world... and stuff. because right now i want to do it alone but it'd be alot better sharing it with someone who appreciates the same thing.

also i'd have cats, lots of 'em ;)

[MenthaPiperita]

Just want to state for the record that not all of us romantics want a spouse and kids and such. I've been happily childfree and spouse-free my entire adult life. I might want a platonic partner or to experiment with an asexual poly-amorous lifestyle a few years from now. But I don't want anything very much like a traditional nuclear family. Yuck! And I can be happy without romantic partners too.

My ideal lifestyle, in fact, would be to live alone in a housing unit, but in a community with other blissfully single and childfree women.

[Glittersnorter]

I'd like to have multiple queerplatonic partners. Not sure if I want a single one for life, still figuring that one out. Definitely want to live with a queerplatonic friend, but first I want to travel the world before finding a good place to settle down.

I dream of becoming a writer, but it's harder now that I'm an adult. I have fewer ideas on what to write about.

I wouldn't mind someone to share all this with, but definitely am aromantic/asexual, so we'll see how that goes. Even though I don't want romance, and I'm 80% sure I don't want a life partner, I don't want to be alone, either...

[Ferrah]

I'm not sure if I'm fully aromantic, but I'll throw my response in anyway; I'm not too sure yet. I'd really like to travel, but I also want a little house with a few pets (dog and some cats or something). It'd be cool to have a place were my parents, sibling, and good friends could come and visit (and their children when/if they have them) to come hang out, but I also don't really want to be tied down. It'd be interesting if I ever got into a relationship like that and had a SO/partner, but I can't really see me having one. Who knows, though - I guess I'll just roll with things and see where I end up.

[Guest member25959]

I'm not really an optimistic person. I was once, a long time ago, these days my view of the future is a little dark and twisted. I try not to think of the future, I just block out the increasingly rare curiosity and take it as it comes. If I think about the future, it'll just upset me because I see nothing... no change, no hope, no achievements... just a situation that continues to grow worse and a past that continues to hang over my name. But none of that is really related to aromanticism or romantic orientation at all I guess, I'd likely be the same way if I experienced romantic attraction since it's pretty much clinical depression at this point

What would my ideal future be? A future where I can at least feel happy and comfortable and confident again, and talk to people, and make some new friends and get to know the few friends I already have. Find a decent job that I'm happy with so I can fund my hobbies, at some point I'd love to settle on the west coast, California is such an interesting and adventurous state... I'd like that, life filled with something different and exciting

[Chateau de Macaron]

I'd love to live in a small cabin or cottage in the woods, have a small garden and orchard, with a few chickens and maybe some goats (or even an alpaca), and plenty of pets like Irish wolfhounds, hedgehogs, and birds. Hopefully I could have a library and studio, and build small tree houses that were connected with bridges (maybe each tree house could be a separate room, bedroom, kitchen, library, etc.) Ideally, I'd like to have plenty of space in as secluded a place as possible, still pure and natural. I'm still not entirely sure if I'm completely aromantic, but I would have no problem living this way alone, or with someone who also desires to have no children or physical relationship. Of course if I ever stumbled upon any portals or doorways to other realms...that would be a nice way to spend one's life as well...

[valor]

This is my favorite thread on the entire site. I get so dreamy eyed just listening to everyone go on...

[Ace of Swords]

My ideal future? Hm.

Peaceful cohabitation with three or four non-stupid people, 12-18 cats, and rooms full of books.

[dorito]

I want a platonic life partner but not necessarily to live with. I want a Samoyed, a doberman, and a bunch of cats :D

[blahhumbug60]

having a job, wanting to travel or a partner is part of the mundane ritual, none of which fascinates me. i do not exist to set goals, i do not exist to please nor serve others... the only reason i exist is because i want to enjoy life and have fun... thus making every achievement in my life or to set my self some goals completely and utterly useless. i have no ambition to be a yuppie working in some office, paying taxes, collecting my cheque and then going to a bar telling others how life sucks with a 2 week vacation.

whats the point to travel... to meet other humans? they're all the same, video games will teach you this since many cultures enter the realm of fantasy and establish what they call "society" inside the community. the only difference there is in moving from location a to location b is to have a different scenery, which is a sign of you being bored with your current one. for this i suggest changing your wallpaper and screensaver... or finding a better hobby.

having a job is what the common citizen must do in order to pay for its existence into this world, while serving a dream for the rich... who do not work and simply control others. it is quite a bitch to be poor or to have no connections in the "society". one must find other means of income, such as arts or trade, perhaps even making their own business.

having a partner is self explanatory, the only reason people desire to have a common person around them is to feel a bond with another so that they do not feel alone in the world, even for romantics. if these people could simply be satisfied with computers they would ditch their human companions behind... too bad the artificial intelligence isn't good enough in 2013 but apparently according to studies it's now at an IQ of a 4 year old... one day however, the human parasite will be obsolete.

i am simply waiting for that day, the day which i can replace anyone in existence with an A.I. and enter the world of my own, create clones of a certain intelligence which inspires me or stimulates me, create friends which do not toy or play mind games with me, i could build a companion of my dreams... if i felt like having one, but then again i could also have a feature/button which would permit me to delete or make the creature disappear at will.

sometimes, (most of the time) i rather be alone, because that means i'm not bothered by others. it gets lonely sometimes... no one to share my experiences with which makes the achievements pointless, can't brag about the accomplishments nor does anyone notice, however there is a fine tranquility in this atmosphere that permits me the right to do whatever i please, i am not imprisoned by the rules of others. i am completely free.

what do i do in my spare time? with all this freedom? i wait for technology to evolve. while i do that i play video games... and i'm going to keep doing this until the artificial intelligence starts talking to me in a higher level than any other human can, i'd respect it and it would leave me alone when i want... which is why internet is good because once someone bothers me i can ignore them and keep doing what i do. but in real life, parasites on a daily basis prolong my endeavours with pointless crap.

i want my own bubble. so in the future, i will leave everyone behind with A.I.

[astrobean]

Trying to find my Watson.

This is an epic answer. It's concise, yet poignant. I know exactly what you mean.

[.Mari]

I really just want to see the world fall apart.

[peanut-butter-cloud]

Oh, I like this question. I'm the type of person who REALLY plans ahead (meaning that I have everything about my future planned out, from types and numbers of pets and their names, to the top 5 ideal cities, right down to the way I want to decorate my house, what I want the yard and landscaping to look like, the decor style, the types and specific food items I'll keep it the pantry...etc etc. EVERYTHING. I have actual lists on my computer full of this kind of stuff.

My ideal future, speaking as an aromantic, would be me, living alone with pets (two Ragdoll cats and a Sheltie and an aquarium, specifically). No significant other, no children (although I wouldn't be 100% opposed to adoption, I don't really see myself wanting a kid). I would want to travel if it was within my means, but more within the US, I want to visit all the states I haven't been to yet before I go out of the country (I've only been to Canada). I want to live either in/around Monterey, Sacramento, or Camino CA.

[N7_Paladin]

As A fellow aromantic myself (although I do have homoromantic tendencies) i'd be curious to gather your opinion as to whether you would be completely satisfied with being alone for the rest of your life or whether you'd hope to seek out someone with whom you could have a permenant friendship/companionship with, there are times when I feel I am more content by myself, having never dated or been in a relationship so I wouldn't have to worry about all of the hassle that comes with that stuff (Never plan to marry or have kids anyway if my sexual orientation were to change) but there are other times when I do start to feel a little bit lonely and wish I did have someone to talk to and do things with, what is your opinion on this matter? would you be fine with being alone and craving loneliness?

[Guest]

I would be perfectly fine with it, I like being alone anyway. If it gets too much I can always get a cat.

[N7_Paladin]

I would be perfectly fine with it, I like being alone anyway. If it gets too much I can always get a cat.

Haha at least animals are loyal and you don't have to worry about whether they cheat on you lmao XD

[ObsessedWithCats]

I would need to be able to visit my sisters and parents occasionally, and ideally I'd have a cat or five, but I wouldn't mind living 'alone'.

[spunkaloidal]

I love being alone. I'm happiest when I wander through woods or forests or go hiking on my own. I'm definitely asexual/aromantic, though I sometimes do have romantic fantasies, I don't feel inclined to act them out in my life. Like you, I don't care for relationships (the dating kind) or sex, or children, so the idea of being in relationship is really pointless.

Strangely, though, I have been in and out of relationships, and I've always found them tedious and they intrude into my personal space and time. I'm actually dating someone at the moment and we work quite well together, but it's taken a lot of discussion over the past year or so just to get him to understand that I need a lot of space... we'll see how it goes.

If you're lonely, there is always the option of going into a public space, like a cafe, or a theatre or wherever to surround yourself with people, even if you're not really interacting with them. Also, hanging out with friends from time to time is often enough to get me back into the non-lonely/contented mood. Call up your friends, go for coffee or dinner&drinks at a nice restaurant or bar, or see a movie. Just because you're not interested in dating/relationships does not mean that you can't go and have 'date nights' with your friends... or with yourself, for that matter. :)

[Ronny]

I would argue that as long as a man has friends he is never truly alone. A friend may have a lover, and - as is natural - that relationship will take priority over others. But it doesn't negate how meaningful and positive a friendship can be. I guess what I'm saying is that even if you feel alone, your very presence, the simple act of sending your best friend an e-mail or asking about their day on Twitter, can make them feel less alone and remind you that someone cares for you.

Loneliness is not a healthy thing, and whilst I know that I will never have a lover or a wife or even sire children to carry on my name, as long as I have my friends I will not be alone.

[N7_Paladin]

I love being alone. I'm happiest when I wander through woods or forests or go hiking on my own. I'm definitely asexual/aromantic, though I sometimes do have romantic fantasies, I don't feel inclined to act them out in my life. Like you, I don't care for relationships (the dating kind) or sex, or children, so the idea of being in relationship is really pointless.

Strangely, though, I have been in and out of relationships, and I've always found them tedious and they intrude into my personal space and time. I'm actually dating someone at the moment and we work quite well together, but it's taken a lot of discussion over the past year or so just to get him to understand that I need a lot of space... we'll see how it goes.

If you're lonely, there is always the option of going into a public space, like a cafe, or a theatre or wherever to surround yourself with people, even if you're not really interacting with them. Also, hanging out with friends from time to time is often enough to get me back into the non-lonely/contented mood. Call up your friends, go for coffee or dinner&drinks at a nice restaurant or bar, or see a movie. Just because you're not interested in dating/relationships does not mean that you can't go and have 'date nights' with your friends... or with yourself, for that matter. :)

Yeah I agree exactly with what you're saying, some people say it isn't possible to crave loneliness but I say it is, being alone and being lonely are two completely different things and of course being alone as well means you don't have to not have a social life as you said as well, you can still go out see friends etc and do things with your mates but at the end of the day if we as aromantics feel more truly content with being alone then why should anyone else judge us or dictate to us how we should live our lives?

[RazorEddie]

I am quite happy being alone. I'm not sure I have ever been lonely, or at least if I have I haven't recognized the feeling.