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Need Advise and Help


little_one

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little_one

My husband is a gray. I really don't know what I am. I am pregnant now and don't feel like doing anything sexual, but now my husband who normally doesn't want to anything is on a kick to do stuff every night and gets really hurt that I don't want to be touched. I feel sick all the time and even light touching hurts in certain areas. I don't know what to do to please him and not make myself feel dirty. It isn't his fault that I feel this way. I don't entirely know where the feeling comes from, but it isn't any fun for me right now.

Please give me some advise

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Hey, welcome to AVEN. Have you always disliked sexual things, or did this only happen once you got pregnant? Pregnancy causes all sorts of weird hormone changes in your body, and it wouldn't be hard to believe that a normal sexual's sex drive would drop off during pregnancy, since there's no need for sex (from an evolutionary perspective) at that point.

Can you two try talking? Explain to him that you don't feel very sexual at the moment, and that your disinterest in sex is not his fault. During pregnancy, your and your baby's well-being is the most important thing of all. If you had sexual desires before, they should come back after all the crazy pregnancy hormones have left your body, and it'd only be a temporary thing.

Good luck, and congrats on your pregnancy. :)

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little_one

Thank you. We are really excited.

Before my first child I was very sexual, but ever since his birth 4 years ago I have not really had any strong urges. Part of it was caused because it was very painful afterwards to do anything but even after I healed fully I just didn't enjoy it as much. I never get the same feelings that I did before he was born. I have tried talking to him and telling him what I am feeling, but all that comes of it is him crying and feeling like I don't love him anymore. I love him more than everything and will do most anything for him, but I just don't like being touched sexually right now.

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I think that's certainly understandable, and from what I've heard sexual urges can drop after pregnancy, because of stress or other reasons. I really don't have any experience with relationships unfortunately, and other than some form of relationship therapy, I can't think of a way to make him believe. Maybe you could talk to your doctor about this issue as well, (s)he might have something that can help you?

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