Romantics: What's the FIRST thing you feel?

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Like, when getting romantically attracted to someone? When you hit That Moment where you realise that the person is someone whom you're "falling for" romantically - rather than just being someone you like platonically - what's the actual feeling like? And what kind of physical contact desire manifestation is there?

For me: It's something like - "It just feels warm and fuzzy to be in their presence. Even just having their time and emotional attention." - That's it. I really can't define it better than that, and it's really not conditional on any kind of immediate desire to do anything with them. And as far as physical contact manifestation goes, the most I feel immediately is a chaste cuddle urge. Even kissing on the lips would feel inappropriate to begin with, let alone sex.

How would you detail your initial rush of feelings when romantic attraction to a new person hits?

[kaykwitch]

I've only had romantic feelings for one person, but for me, I kinda just caught myself flirting with him (well, what I recognize in myself as flirting). Then came the butterflies when we were close, which happened often, since we were in a ballroom dancing club and I was his favorite partner (though I was everybody's favorite partner. The experienced leads liked me because even though I was new to ballroom I caught on fast, so we got to do the really fun stuff, and the inexperienced leads liked me because I learned fast, so I could teach them what to do).

[Kikuka]

When this happens to me, it happens in varying degrees of quickness, but it always has to do with how much they make me smile or laugh. When I feel so happy and lighthearted around a person, I guess it's the equivalent of getting the usual butterflies.

Last summer I met my current bf with no intention of dating at that point. But things just kind of happened, I wanted to spend time with him, and when I was spending time with him I was laughing and happy and lighthearted. When I had a panic attack at the event we were both attending, though he still hardly knew me, he recognized what was wrong and helped me contact my friend and stayed with me till my friend came to help. When I realized that he was dependable like that and saw that I could rely on him in situations where I couldn't rely on myself, then I noticed the feeling of "falling for" him.

But essentially what I'm getting at is that when I can laugh, smile, and be goofy around someone so quickly, even if I don't quite notice it right away, it's apparent pretty soon. If I can relax, be happy, and enjoy myself, which is usually when i end up flirting with someone, then I know I've developed romantic feelings for them, no matter how long it's been since I met them.

[Robin L]

Warm and fuzzy, butterflies, extreme happiness, excitement... all mixed together.

I have only felt romantic attraction to one person, and every time I think of the person, I keep smiling like an idiot.

[Cimmerian]

I'll go by the feelings of my last and most recent crush.

I guess the overall first thing I feel is a hyper-awareness of myself and my reactions when it had anything to do with them.

I would become extremely aware of my heartbeat quickening, how extremely nervous and happy I was to be near them at all, how incoherent and even tongue tied that I became, and how their slightest comment could make me embarrassed or how readily I blushed if they smiled at, or complimented me. I don't remember the last person who could inadvertently have me feel so terribly embarrassed and then call me back and I'd willingly follow them without regret.

[Notte stellata]

I have the "It just feels warm and fuzzy to be in their presence" thing too, but that mostly applies to real life crushes (which haven't happened to me for a long time). With people online, a clear indicator of my romantic attraction is I start to fantasize about meeting them in person. With purely platonic online friends, I don't have the urge to meet IRL. Other romantic indicators include frequent daydreams, the desire to know everything about them, and the desire for physical intimacy (holding hands, hugging, cuddling).

[Arctangent]

For me: It's something like - "It just feels warm and fuzzy to be in their presence. Even just having their time and emotional attention." - That's it. I really can't define it better than that, and it's really not conditional on any kind of immediate desire to do anything with them. And as far as physical contact manifestation goes, the most I feel immediately is a chaste cuddle urge. Even kissing on the lips would feel inappropriate to begin with, let alone sex.

This is pretty close to the way I experience romantic attraction... once I've gotten far enough along in developing it, that is.

You see, my grey-romanticism (which usually operates much the same way as demi-romanticism) provides a bit of a twist. Romantic attraction is often an extremely gradual phenomenon for me. I usually start out as friends with the person first. Over time, there's this sort of gradual shift in affections from a more platonic mindset to a more romantic one. So the whole notion of "falling in love" doesn't quite gel with my experience - it's more like a slow drifting. Thus, it's really difficult for me to pinpoint the moment romantic attraction begins (if one even exists), so instead I have to carefully monitor my thoughts and feelings for certain signs.

Recurring romantic dreams and fantasies are pretty telling. Also, secondary platonic, aesthetic, and sensual attraction tend to come along for the ride in my experience, so the strengthening of other attractions is another clue. Probably the most obvious signs occur when I'm spending one-on-one time with someone. If I'm around someone and I feel that ebullient warm fuzziness coupled with desires for physical affection (e.g. cuddling), then at that point it's pretty clear that I've developed romantic feelings. So I guess that's the closest thing I have to an answer for this question - and it's pretty much what was in the OP, just with an extra helping of ambiguity. :P

[shockkkk]

Honestly, it varies from person to person.

I get the warm, fuzzy, butterflies thing sometimes, but sometimes its a lot different. Sometimes its just a desire to talk to them all the time, or even just play sports with them. Other times its a lot more physical and I'll feel the desire to hug or make out with them.

[Guest]

I get happy when I speak to them and talking to them makes me smile a lot, being touched makes me get butterflies and a surge of emotion I can feel in my chest. The original surges fade over time, but I still feel part of it all through the relationship.

[NinjaRobot]

Hmmm, I'm not really sure I can describe it very well... But I start wanting to see them all the time, and talk to them all the time, and then when I do, I get really smiley and can't control it.

[Guest]

Probably insecurity and the fear of saying/doing something wrong.

[LionRoar]

Oooh, good question.

For me, it's a combination between: "Oh wow oh wow oh wow, this is such an amazing person, I esteem this person so much, this is such a wonderful person, I can hardly believe they exist", and "I do not want to leave this person's presence, I do not want to go home, I do not want to part." (Or, if we're not together when the feeling arises, "I can't wait to be in this person's presence.")

I think that the look on the actress's face at 2:46-2:47 here really expresses the feeling extremely well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cREV5cunumE&feature=player_detailpage#t=166s

[LionRoar]

The song from 3:47 and onward is pretty good, too. :-)

[candicemon]

When I'm falling for someone my need for physical contact with that person increases. In general I don't like people touching me. People that I'm closer with emotionally (ie. friendships) can sometimes get away with gentle platonic touching on the shoulders or hugging. People I feel romantic attraction to almost open the floodgates - I want to hold their hands, kiss their cheeks/forehead, hold and cuddle them, things like that. I occasionally also feel those feelings about close friends who have known me for years, the people I'm platonically in love with.

I've also caught myself daydreaming about falling asleep or cuddling with the person I'm starting to feel romantic feelings towards. This has only happened for me twice, but each time the feeling of security I felt was overwhelming. I equate that feeling strongly with romantic attachment.

[Guest]

For me: It's something like - "It just feels warm and fuzzy to be in their presence. Even just having their time and emotional attention." - That's it. I really can't define it better than that, and it's really not conditional on any kind of immediate desire to do anything with them. And as far as physical contact manifestation goes, the most I feel immediately is a chaste cuddle urge.

That happens to be more or less my case, except it's more blurred. I can only feel romantic desire for someone I already know well, so I usually can't draw a proper line as to where my friendship feelings end and my romantic feelings begin. It's a gradual transition that happens over time, and I can never precisely tell when.

I typically become aware of my own romantic feelings through dreams. If I start dreaming the other person, it means I have feelings for them. I can't explain how it happens or how I can tell, it just... does!

[Fatal Pancake]

For me: It's something like - "It just feels warm and fuzzy to be in their presence. Even just having their time and emotional attention." - That's it. I really can't define it better than that, and it's really not conditional on any kind of immediate desire to do anything with them. And as far as physical contact manifestation goes, the most I feel immediately is a chaste cuddle urge.

That happens to be more or less my case, except it's more blurred. I can only feel romantic desire for someone I already know well, so I usually can't draw a proper line as to where my friendship feelings end and my romantic feelings begin. It's a gradual transition that happens over time, and I can never precisely tell when.

I typically become aware of my own romantic feelings through dreams. If I start dreaming the other person, it means I have feelings for them. I can't explain how it happens or how I can tell, it just... does!

Yes! This is how I feel, pretty much word for word. I've never felt a romantic attraction to someone I barely know. It's always been after I've got to know them that the feelings can develop. When I start thinking about them all the time and my mind, when I let it randomly drift around, drifts to them quite a lot then I know I've fallen for them.

I also have dreams about people I've then realised I'm attracted to. When I wake up feeling happy and smiling, then I know. Generally, I get the butterflies in my stomach. My heart skips a bit when I see them. And talking to them brings out a warmth in me. It's so enjoyable just talking to them! Then I enjoy fantasising about being with them a bit, whether it's chatting about interests, going for dinner or just being with them. I tend to get a dry mouth when talking to them, too. But the very first thing I feel is the jittery butterfly-like feeling in my stomach. It's always the first "sign" for me, haha.

[Hobbes!]

As I recall, it was rather like a hot magnet had been growing in my heart (Now beating rather quicker), and it pointed right at that blue-eyed sweetheart

[Dirge]

A strong desire to learn more about them and their interests, if possible without tipping them off to the fact that I'm interested.

...okay, that sounded less creepy in my head, I promise.

[sound_the_bugle]

I'm not sure what the first moment is, since I usually only realize it when I either actually want to get physically close to them and/or start somehow knowing where they are when they walk into a room I'm in. It's like there's a sound or a movement in the corner of my eye and I look towards it and it's always them. It's never someone else, and they almost never sneak past me. It's bizarre. And kind of scary. And it makes me think I'm telepathic, but only with people I'm crushing on.

EDIT: Also, like other people said, I've never developed a crush on first sight. I don't have to know a person REALLY well, but I do have to know them.

[Thecatlady]

I get the feeling that we have a lot in common: The same music, the same world views and lack of faith in humanity. It's excited to find someone who is anything like me. So I'm like, "Oooh. We can be friends forever and ever and ever and never leave each other's side. :wub:" and then, that creeps people out...so I just settle with being alone with my cats and act indifferent towards somebody I really like. Lol.

[sound_the_bugle]

So I'm like, "Oooh. We can be friends forever and ever and ever and never leave each other's side. :wub:" and then, that creeps people out...

I'm sorry, I just had to tell you how much that made me grin. If I didn't have people in the room with me who would ask why I was laughing, I would be doubled up and squeaking right now (I squeak when I laugh really hard).

[5_♦♣]

I don't know what I first notice, all I know is that I experience... Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say love, but definitely attraction, at first sight.

[Chardog]

Its feels like when they are not around your world is in black and white, but when they are around its like sun is shining just for you...

[Final Fantasy]

A sense of loyalty.

[HardToComeBy]

Wanting to be with them all the time, to see them laugh, watch them eat (not at the same time, though. That would be disgusting).

[Nonbientot]

I feel scared and nervous when within 30 ft of the person, suddenly my clumsiness and social-ineptness is magnified about 20 times over. My ugliness, too.

[SorryNotSorry]

"Wouldn't she be great to spend the rest of my life with!!!"

[PolackLibrarian]

A very weird sensation in the entire upper torso area. It kind of feels like....I have no need to breathe ever again? Sometimes I don't think I even am breathing? It usually happens after I make a spark connection with someone on something I am passionate about.

For example:

Did you just mention "insert name of random book I love*? I love that book! How did you feel about it?

They acknowledge and discuss book (or whatever random connection we have).

*Weird lack of breathing sensation*

Maybe I have a disease and should see a doctor? haha. ^_^

[Diceman]

I suppose it's a feeling like "She's not like the rest of the girls I've met. She's special."

After that it's just a countdown until I get up the nerve to say something incredibly stupid to her because I was too nervous to say something the way I planned to.

[DexM]

For me it was not just seeing that person around and getting excited by that, but it was the recognition I got from that person. Those two have never gone together before and so it was a new feeling.