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FAQ: Orientation


Skiddaloxx

Are you....  

2 members have voted

  1. 1.

    • straight-asexual
      746
    • gay-asexual
      178
    • bi-asexual
      410
    • asexual-asexual
      302
    • other (changing attraction, etc..)
      157

This poll is closed to new votes


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  • 2 months later...
Ok, hopefully the poll works.........

I am interested in who you folks are romantically attracted to or better said in which category you see yourself in......

i'm bi-asexual. i've been attracted to females as well as males because beauty doesn't have a gender to me.
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i voted bi-asexual, but usually i call my self "asexual queer".

i'm telling you, learning that sexuality and labels went hand-in-hand was one of the most destructive things i learned about. now, instead of enjoying myself, i worry about what i am, what this means, what that means, how truthful i am to my "queer" label... ugh. i was so much happier just being ambiguous and free...

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Perhaps that should be your label 'ambiguous'. Then again, dense people might think that means you can write with both hands.

Cate

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I consider myself to be straight-asexual. I'm involved with a girl right now in a fairly romantic relationship, but she knows that I have no interest in sex.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I hang out with the ladies. I'm more emotionally attracted to them (I don't feel that close to men, even though I understand their emotions almost as well as I do women's.) So I guess that makes me gay-asexual. Though it's strange for me to think of myself like that...

In my own mind I've never identified as queer until just recently. I've always just been Julie. I like who I like, and I've never really distinguished that in my mind. These days are different though, and I only just took my first leap into the world of queer politics. So it's still something I'm trying to get comfortable with, I guess.

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HiroProtagonist

Gay-asexual. I have always found some women incredibly beautiful and interesting and fun to be around... and yet never wanted to do very much about it! I did think I was a repressed lesbian but I like gay-asexual better!!!

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I guess I would be predominently gay-asexual... but I still feel that I could be bi-asexual with a strong bias...

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Even though I have no desire at all for romance or physical intimacy, I'd probably be more straight-asexual. I definitely see the allure in getting with a woman, but none at all in getting with another man. Also I find the female form more aesthetically pleasing on average, so that probably plays in too.

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asexual asexual. No romantic attraction of any kind. Although I feel more comfortable around females.

Yes, that's the way I feel. Not only have I had bad experiences with guys in general, but I just relate to women better, anyway.

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asexual asexual. No romantic attraction of any kind. Although I feel more comfortable around females.

Yes, that's the way I feel. Not only have I had bad experiences with guys in general, but I just relate to women better, anyway.

Ditto here, too!

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So, I voted gay-asexual. I think I'm with Cate on this one. If I were to live/cuddle with another person, I would totally only be comfortable with another woman.

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Hmm...if you're female and seem to be attracted mostly to gay men and straight women, is that still bi??

----------

I worried: Am I gay? Am I straight? And then I decided I was just anti-slutty...

thanks to Margaret Cho

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Hmm...if you're female and seem to be attracted mostly to gay men and straight women, is that still bi??

I guess that depends on if sexuality is defined by attraction to a gender or a sex. I tend to think of it as defined by attraction to a sex...so in that case I would consider the person bi.

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Suffocateme23

I voted gay (lesbian) asexual, but this topic sometimes confuses me.

People have asked "do you like guys or girls?". I say girls (I haven't discussed my asexuality except on the internet really), but at times I want to say the whole truth of it (I'm romantically/athestically/emotionally/mentally attracted to them, but not sexually).

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I voted gay (lesbian) asexual, but this topic sometimes confuses me.

People have asked "do you like guys or girls?". I say girls (I haven't discussed my asexuality except on the internet really), but at times I want to say the whole truth of it (I'm romantically/athestically/emotionally/mentally attracted to them, but not sexually).

yes! i have the same problem...people ask me if i'm gay, and i say yes, mostly because i know for certain i'm not straight, and so saying "no" would be inacurate. it feels dishonest, though. but i can't very well go running after them, bawling a longer explaination.

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I'm with gambit_boi and suffocateme. I usually just identify with being gay and then if someone tries to date me I explain I'm not interested in sex. It should really only matter to the person who wants to sleep with me anyway.

Cate

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I've only been asked openly about my sexuality once; I think a lot of straight people think I'm gay, and gay people think I'm straight.

The one time I was asked if I was gay, I said not really, and explained badly that "I'm not interested in people."

I think they were a bit bewildered. They did the requisite, "how do you know" and switched the subject.

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When considering my asexuality, I view myself as gay and asexual. Just because I don't want/like sex does not mean I don't like other guys in a romantic way. I know that being homosexual often gets interpreted as having sexual relationships with people within your sex, though I think it really should be a more broad definition than that.

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I think there is an implied rule that you have to 'prove' you're gay by sleeping with someone. It's based on whether or not you have sex. A married heterosexual couple that doesn't have sex anymore is still married, but a same sex couple who live together but don't have sex aren't seen as being gay, because you have to prove you are.

It all goes back to heterosexuality being seen as the 'norm', the default so if you aren't that then you have to demonstrate your separateness.

When I used to tell people I was gay and a virgin the response every single time (from straight people) was: 'So you THINK you're gay.' Not a question. A statement. That's right. I know nothing about what I feel. the second I see a woman naked I'm going to suddenly think, 'I love men!'

This is what I thought the first time I saw a woman naked, 'Oh. She looks different from me. Interesting. I hope she puts her clothes back on soon.'

I still identify as gay, because I'd like a romantic friendship with a woman and I can't picture it with a guy. I find women to be beautiful and intriuging in a way that I do not feel about men. I'm old enough now that people assume I've had sexual relationships and I just let them think that unless they ask me point blank I don't explain the asexual bit.

Cate

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