Huge article about asexuality in Swedish newspaper

[Capslock Cadet]

DN is one of the biggest newspapers in Sweden. This weekend they ran an article about asexuality: http://www.dn.se/livsstil/relationer/ett-liv-utan-sex

There are mentions of AVEN, David Jay, and also an interview with a Swedish ace. Overall it's pretty good; it gets most of the facts right, and while the wording is a little weird in places (as if the writer doesn't exactly understand what they're describing) it's still very understanding and written with the best intentions. Also, mad props for the artwork accompanying the article; in the magazine the article was spread across several pages, and there was an artpiece interwoven with the text on every page.

While I have seen asexuality mentioned briefly before in Swedish media this really took me by surprise. I hope google translate works for this, otherwise I'll do my best to translate parts of it as soon as I'm not swamped with work.

[thylacine]

I will read it as soon as there is a translation.

[kimbo21]

If you click on the article, it lets you translate it on the page :)

[Violette]

That´s how I found this site! :) Excited!

[elifelet]

i kinda want to cut it out so I can give it to the next person who asks me about asexuality

[Common Murre]

This was really a long article! That pleases me and it was fun to read.

The article will with no doubt spread awareness and understanding. Nice to read that David Jay finally found himself a loving relationship that don't include sex!

[Siggy]

I'm very amused that Google translate thinks "aromantisk" means "aroma Semitic".

[Doctor_What]

I would very much like to read this, but I can't find where to translate it :(

[C-grid]

This is exiting! Sweden has always been a lot more embracing in the societal issues than us here in Norway, but I'm seriously hoping we will take some cues.

[Tomboy Acefellow]

That's great! Thanks for the tip!

[Koppeli]

Very nice :)

[True north]

Good article, nice that asexuality is getting some focus in the nordic countries.

[supersprite42]

If you click on the article, it lets you translate it on the page :)

WHERE DO I FIND THIS? I should like to read it, and google translate irks me. :)

[ithaca]

New Swedish article Parley kindly found and linked me to:

http://www.expressen.se/nyheter/lat-asexuella-fa-adoptera/

[Lord Happy Toast]

According to Google Translate,

- It does not mean that our relationship is worth less. Or that my aromatherapy erating conditions is worth less than the romantic, says David Jay.

I tried to look up erating, but the OED doesn't doesn't list any words beginning with "erat", and the original isn't much help--It's a translation of " aromantiska förhållande" (I believe 'aromantic relationships' is the intended meaning.) So I'll modify it to 'e-rating.' With a bit of liberal paraphrasing, I think we could have the basis for an awesome T-shirt:

Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean that my aromatherapy e-rating conditions are worth less than romantic ones.

[integralx]

This is the article that gave me my "aha"-moment. Huge thanks to DN for printing it!

[gypsy_princess]

it's a nice article, the first one i've ever read about asexuality.

but google translated the article into italian and some parts are hilarious though :P

"cake piece became a symbol of asexuality. likes everyone cake" :lol:

"even though hen didn't have big problems with accepting itself hen asexuality, it knows that much other have"

[Anonymously asexual]

Translation from Google: Life without Sex

They fall in love, live in relationships - but do not have sex. Ten years ago, they did not even have a word for what they are. Yet it is estimated that one percent of the population is just asexual. Now begins a world movement grow strong.

In 1996, David Jay is 15 years old and, as usual when it's summer vacation, at camp. In conservative Missouri, USA, stands at this camp out.Instead of playing or learning about survival in the wild, you are here to discuss values ​​on racism, religion, money, and - six.

It's almost 40 degrees warm so the 25 participants stand and press in the shade of a tree. The leader stands in the sun and shouts out claims to consider:

"I have felt attracted to a guy." "I have felt attracted to a girl." "I have felt attracted to both a girl and a guy."

Depending on your statement each participant sympathize most with they go to a special place in the sun. Participants gather in different groups.Most attracted by guys or by guys, some of both.

Remain in the shade is David Jay. He has never felt attraction to someone.

- It really was like a mini version of my whole world. Not only was I alone in being who I am, I had no one to talk to. No one pretended that I was there myself, exercise only continued, he says.

Being asexual does not mean to be celibate. Asexuality is the way like a sexual orientation - it is not a choice. But just as one can not say that it is blowing in a north-easterly direction when there is no wind, you can not say that asexuality is a sexuality. This has both scientists and asexual agreed in recent years.

Instead it has added a sexual orientation other than themselves asexualiteten: asexual plus lesbian, gay, bisexual or heterosexual. Another suggestion has been to add andro-, gyno-or ambifil that more logically describe what sex you prefer, not who you want to have sex with.

The variation within the concept is great but a little loose, one can say that an asexual person experiences little or no sexual attraction.

Asexuals may still be sexually aroused and it is not unusual that they masturbate. What is the attraction, desire to live out their excitement with another human being. Just as a heterosexual person does not want to have sex with someone of the same sex.

There is nothing to physically prevent, everything works as it should.Approximately one percent of the world population is estimated to be asexual.

David Jay is a bit of a hunk. He is handsome, dark-haired, tall and as long as he puts on his roller blades, means of transport, he invariably uses in hilly San Francisco, so he married a matter that is attractive.

It has helped him to get his message across. He does well in television, is social and can talk, but above all, he would have sex if he wanted.

Countless forums online rejects all the asexual movement in that it is about people who are too ugly and boring to get sex. David may instead offers from presenters tomorrow couches, "But I can have sex with you if you want!"

Like every other asexual who was then in his 20s, David Jay no words for what he is, so he found on its own: asexual. Another common word that many have called themselves "non-sexual", "non-sexual". When the Internet became popular in the 90's, David began to search with everything he could think of and related to how he felt.

- But how much I was looking, there was no evidence that anyone, anywhere in the world, had similar experiences.

Eventually he built a separate, very simple website - a site which today has developed into the largest online network for asexual in the world: The asexual visibility and education network, also called Aven. Ten years ago, the site had over 400 members, today has over 60 000 people worldwide have registered and Aven has ten times as many visitors each year. Three of the four members on the site live in the USA. But the proportion of members from other countries is steadily increasing.

- I started collecting everything I knew about my own experiences and my own sexual identity. I thought that if there are more like me, they will also search the internet. On the site I typed all the keywords I could think of to increase the chances and finally I got a few emails.

This was the first time David Jay came in contact with someone else who does not feel sexual attraction.

Today, using over 40 percent of respondents asexual Even as their primary starting point to get in touch with other like-minded people. Slightly more, over 45 percent, using the blog platform Tumblr.

- Without the internet we would never have found each other, I think David Jay.

Being "romantic" or "aroma Semitic" is another expression that asexual use to define themselves and their relationships. Some want to live in love relationships, others do not. Some want to be physical, cuddle, hold hands - maybe even make out. Others would not even hug.

David Jay defined itself long as asexual, bisexual and aromatherapy Semitic. At 27 years of age, he felt satisfied. He had accepted his asexuality and had several intimate relationships with people that he was close: men and women, sexual and asexual. He had a primary relationship with a heterosexual, sexual couple. Together, they planned to have three children and live together.

But suddenly the situation changed. The couple broke up with David. They wanted to have children themselves and move to another city.

- Then came the realization that I might actually have to have sex in order to access the intimacy that I want in my life, he says.

He looks tired.

San Francisco is associated with sexual liberation - especially with the gay movement. Homosexuals who were thrown out of the U.S. Army during World War II was shipped back in under the Golden Gate, to the port city on the U.S. west coast. Most chose to stay rather than return home and risk being ostracized.

1969 San Francisco had more openly gay people per capita than any other city in the world and in 1977 was elected gayikonen Harvey Milk in San Francisco's city council.

When David Jay had taken his bachelor's degree in Connecticut in 2004, he moved as fast as he could to San Francisco. It is here that he has got the greatest response and built Aven. David Jay lives in "The Mission", San Francisco's most hipstertäta area, adjacent to "The Castro", a hub for the world's homosexuals. At the regular Pride events held here, he is leading, on roller skates, the new group that started taking place. They are dressed in purple, has a white, black and purple striped flag and carrying signs with a wedge on: "What's wrong with wanting cake instead?" ("What's wrong with wanting to have cake instead?").

Cake piece has become a symbol of asexuality - everyone likes cake, explains David Jay. But not everyone is equally impressed. Portions of gay and queer world is outraged. Why should those who have fought for sexual freedom, often with their lives, make room for some who do not even want to have sex? "Stop trying to get hold of our group! Get your own! "Is a recurring sentiment among queer bloggers online.

In the movie "(A) sexual", which follows David Jay in his missionary work, see how he often met with annoyance and even repelled where he rolls around with knee pads and helmet and hand out flyers. It is touching to see, but David does not seem to take the.

- I am who I am because I have had to fight against social norms around sexuality. For me, the word "queer" good to understand who I am and it is for many of us. No one has the right to take the word or the community from me, he says.

- One might think that they should understand, and many do, he adds.

According Avens own member survey identifies 41 percent of the LGBT community. 38 percent do not make it, but they feel allies.

In biology, the term "asexuality" has been used since the early 1900s to describe "the sexless reproduction" in the plant and animal kingdoms. Not until the mid-1990s, the word pops up in the media and on the internet to describe people. Not until the 2000s, "asexuality" has become a relatively familiar concept.

As a result of that, and the problem of the definition of asexuality, there is very little research on the subject. It nevertheless has managed to come to speak against the most common question an asexual person is met by:

- The man definitely has shown is that there is no over-representation of sexual trauma and abuse among asexual individuals, says Lars-Gösta Dahlöf, associate professor of psychology and sexology, the Swedish scientist who dedicated most asexuality.

Nor is there anything to suggest hormonal disorders. Being asexual is not a diagnosis, such as impotence or hormone imbalance.

Lars-Gösta Dahlöf worked for many years with call counseling at the then sexology clinic at Östra Hospital women's clinic and then at the Department of Psychology, University of Gothenburg. He met many couples where the desire had decreased or disappeared at either or both parties. But sometimes came the people who did not have, never had, nor wanted any desire.

- I had reason to ask myself the question: "Could it be people from birth and throughout life has no sex drive?"

This was in the mid -90s, just when the first research reports on asexuality began publication. It is estimated that approximately one percent of the world population is asexual. But for it to be established with certainty that more research and larger substrates.

- And this is important for those who define themselves as asexual should not have to explain or defend himself. Asexuality is a statistically unusual reality within the normal variation of human sexuality has said Lars-Gösta Dahlöf.

Miku Westerholm am 24 years old, lives in Stockholm and has identified himself as asexual since 2005. Miku was born in a girl's body and have been brought up as a girl but do not identify themselves with it and therefore uses the pronoun "hen".

The proportion of people who do not identify with one or the other sex have in surveys proved to be higher among asexual. People born as women are also overrepresented. The Avens own study describes 51 percent of the asexual himself as a woman. Another 13 percent as "half-female," 9 percent of men and 4 percent as "half-men." One in ten say that they are transsexuals and another 10 percent said they might be there.

Like David Jay had Miku Westerholm never met anyone else who was asexual, and just as David had Miku no voiced the sentiment. But then dived Aven posted online along with a forum on the Nordic web forum Qruiser.

- I had not realized it , but it was very important for me to meet others alike. When I was the only one that was "strange" so I had the tags out and was a little aggressive. I almost hated sexual people because they were not like me, says Miku Westerholm.

Otherwise think Miku not think it has been felt hard to be asexual.

- I've already put out so much and been so weird. It's not like sex is the weirdest thing. It can not be seen anyway.

Miku Westerlund is driving in RFSL compound for asexual. Although hen not had major problems with accepting his own asexuality hen knows that many others have it. Therefore working group for more acceptance and knowledge of the community.

- People need to know that we are so that you do not need to sit in middle school and think "oh well, now I have this sex." You should know that there is an option to be asexual, says Miku Westerholm.

So far it has been common to asexual reaches its identity until adulthood.The stories are a lot of middle-aged men and women with children who, to his great relief finds its identity after a divorce. Many have, without thinking about it, had sex for "so it has to be." Miku Westerholm says that at the monthly meeting in Stockholm for a while then came a 90-year-old woman visiting with thoughts she wanted answers to.

It is also common that asexual people are living in a relationship with a sexual person and for the sake of having sex occasionally.

- Many may see it as a price they pay to have the relationship. One wants to experience love, passion and intimacy - then you are ready to have sex sometimes to get it, says researcher Lars-Gösta Dahlöf.

- It means that you go into the relationship on very different premises, sexuality becomes conditional and it is difficult to manage for both parties.But yes, I have met couples who make it work, creating a balance, satisfaction and stimulation so that there is enough that no one should feel like they are sacrificing too much, he says.

After David Jay's breakup with the couple a few years ago, he has had sex.He says it was "interesting" and that it felt quite natural because he wanted to understand and keep up with what happened to the woman he met. "But it was not fun."

- Having a sexual human being is a kind of script, a gravity that clearly pulling in one direction. It knows where it will end. But when I'm physical with an asexual person and the gravity is so created many cool stuff. You may only feel their way, he says.

An orgasm for David Jay feels, he thinks, for him as for most others. But there is nothing that he seeks or find particularly interesting.

David Jay is now 31 years old and has three new relationships. A romantic with an asexual, heterosexual woman and two aromatherapy trend with two gay, bisexual men. He does not have sex with any of these people. The men, by contrast, sex with their girlfriends. And, to add David, along with his girlfriend, he does some "awesome stuff" purely physiological.

Before he met her , he had never been in love. But last year it happened.There was documentary viewing in New York. He saw her, she saw him.They began to talk.

- It was quicker and the emotions were much more powerful than any other I have ever felt in my circumstances. They were more on the surface, they felt more.

After the film screening took David and the woman a walk - in five hours.Now they have a long-distance relationship and flies back and forth between New York and San Francisco. They have many long conversations on Skype, plans to move in together, plans to adopt a child and plans to grow old together. It sounds like an ordinary love story. The one thing that many may think is unusual, then, that the couple has sex.

- It does not mean that our relationship is worth less. Or that my aromatherapy erating conditions is worth less than the romantic, says David Jay.

He thinks that he has partially been lucky having grown up in a world where heterosexuality is not mandatory.

- More and more people are growing up and asking which sex they have, rather than assume they are heterosexual and panic if they are not.

Now it remains as also Miku Westerholm talking about: Awareness of asexuality as an alternative.

- Words like "single" will disappear as "single" Let it be understood that you are alone - like a romantic or sexual partner relationship is the only thing that is worth nothing, says David Jay. After he met his girlfriend know he is no longer that he needs to have sex for the intimacy he wants.

Miku Westerholm its part, has never in his life seen it as an option to have sex:

- I'm not interested, so I will not have it. But since I'm so young, many people are asking how I can know that I do not like it if I have not tried. It is often heterosexuals who asks. When I counter with: "How do you know that you are heterosexual, if you have not tried to have sex with someone of the same sex?" There is usually enough.

[libra4ever]

Great article

[Squirrel Combat]

Interesting. 8)

[Palovana]

Nice article. Leave it to the Swedes to write openly about something most others choose to ignore or deny. ;)

[Mikusagi]

If there's any parts that you think Google translates poorly, I can translate it for you.

I'm Miku in the article, BTW.

[Guest]

Countless forums online rejects all the asexual movement in that it is about people who are too ugly and boring to get sex. David may instead offers from presenters tomorrow couches, "But I can have sex with you if you want!"

I love David Jay even more now. :P

Also, Aroma Semitic. This should totally become a thing: the romantic orientation for people who are attracted to Hebrews who smell good.

Great job, Sweden :)

[between places]

Ja det känns ju helt fantastiskt. Sverige är så bra på sånt, det ger ju hopp om att vi snart kommer att synas lite mera. Själv rör jag mig mkt bland homosexuella och lesbiska människor, de är mina bästa och trevligaste kompisar- ett urtrevligt gemenskap. jag lever i Berlin och är i 30-års åldern.det skulle kännas så skönt att en vacker dag bli frågad: är du homosexuell? nej. är du hetero då? nej. okej jag förstår... bra- och då skulle allt vara klart. folk skulle som självklart veta att det finns en tredje dimension. och romantiska relationer kan starta och utvecklas med öppenhet och stadig fundament- en dröm. fortfarande- även i en kanon stad som berlin. ha det gott allesammans.