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Rivan Vox

Why do people want to hold hands?

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Rivan Vox

Well, there was a old thread about this that was recently locked for being inactive, so I thought I'd open this thread to offer my thoughts and solicit yours.

Your hands, like your lips, have quite a bit of brain devoted to processing touch in that area. Touching sensitive spots together is pleasurable, so people like to hold hands.

That's my thought on the subject.

Otherwise to me hand-holding is a hug you can maintain while walking or sitting.

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Marian the Herbalist

To me the "holding hands" is a way of showing that "we belong", one person cant run away when they are holding hands, haha, you're trapped :ph34r:

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Little-twig

I'm not a big fan of physical contact, hugs make me stiffen up and kissing is just really uncomfortable unless it's on the cheek and with family members.I can hold hands but only for a short bit before I'll try to get free from it.

I think it's just the fact that I don't like being held back when I'm walking. But I guess it's like saying " We're together " without having to say anything to those around you.

I still prefer walking side to side to the other instead of holding hands.

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ithaca

I never liked holding hands to say "we're together" or "you belong to me", probably because I don't like that aspect of a relationship (possessiveness, jealousy). I don't like seeing people walking and holding hands like it's just a habit of them. I have, a few times, desired to hold someone's hand, but it was more of a need to have some contact, I think I'm quite a touchy-feely person at times :redface:

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CBC

Holding hands briefly with a romantic partner (and maybe hypothetically a close platonic friend, though I've never been in that scenario) can be nice enough, but too long and it starts to feel like I'm on a leash and it just gets irritating. I also don't really like touching other people's hands unless I know for a fact that they've just washed them and not touched anything else between doing so and touching my hand(s), because part of my OCD consists of the stereotypical germophobe/cleanliness stuff. Dear god, I really hate when people want to shake hands... I mentally panic but usually do it anyway, and then have to go wash my hands thoroughly before I can touch anything of my own. This issue is greatly exacerbated by the fact that I have a life-threatening nut and peanut allergy and even the smallest traces could be problematic for me, so there's a legitimate worry, beyond the germ/dirt stuff, that a person may have eaten a peanut butter sandwich or snacked on a handful of cashews or something.

Anyway, tangent there. Basically, holding hands is only okay if it's someone I'm very close to, it doesn't last too long, and I know for sure that their hands are extremely clean. In other words, most of the time, I'll take a pass.

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Lady Girl

I think hand holding is the least offensive form of PDA and I like it too. Even when I was a kid I thought it was cool...holding hands with Mom, Dad, brother or sisters, grandparents, and friends was all good. To me it kind of means you're taking care of each other.

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oog

i haven't done it in a while. theres no one to hold my hand :(. i don't see it as possessive.. more like knowing someone's there. or your telling them your there. security? would that be a good word. not that i need it. if i get lost i can handle it. all part of being a grown-up. but sometimes anxiety can strike in really busy places and i would prefer a hand to hold.

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ESF

Something I've considered. I read that in bio-physics we now know that various energies radiate from the body (or so I read) and the hands have always been said to give off lots of energy. Like, throughout history, the hands have always been said to be able to heal the sick (If you believe in that sort of stuff).

Funny, I'm remembering that in Saudi Arabia it is traditional that world leaders have to hold hands. Like, when the presidents go there, they have to respect their tradition and hold their hands. lol

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Purnkin Spurce

I love holding hands with the right person. You feel safe in theirs and they feel safe in yours. It's like you said, a different way to hug while walking. And I love hugs too.

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Vampyremage

I take a lot of comfort in non-sexual physical contact with my partner and that includes holding hands. In public, its not always appropriate to sit and cuddle in one another's arms, but holding hands is a publicly acceptable way to maintain that touch.

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MinkxAoba

I like holding hands. It's just a contact thing and makes me feel a bit safer. It is a bit of "zie's mine, don't touch" because I only do it with people I'm dating. It's mostly just because I like touch, though, and that's a nice form of touch that people understand.

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fuzzipueo

It's a way for people to share each others touch without it being intrusive or glaring (unless one is in a place where PDAs are not allowed), I think. I'm not one to hold hands with anyone except my niece who's moving out of that age, sadly.

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Tanwen

Sometimes a nice friendly unsexy touch is reassuring, maybe it's a subconscious reminder of childhood. Holding hands is OK, providing it isn't hot and the hands don't get all sweaty, I used to prefer slipping my hand into the crook of his arm or him gently holding my waist (in the days when I had one), never in a vice-like grip.

I never considered it to be a mark of ownership, more mutual comfort and reassurance.

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`Silver

I love holding hands with the right person. You feel safe in theirs and they feel safe in yours. It's like you said, a different way to hug while walking. And I love hugs too.

This. ^_^

I like holding hands if I'm romantically attracted to somebody. There is that fantastic dopamine flow in the brain that makes one feel comfy, warm, and happy. I wouldn't share that kind of closeness with a person I wasn't romantically attracted to, but I'm fine with handshaking, it's another kind of contact after all - it doesn't mean the same thing(s).

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.Crow

When you hold my hand in public, you say "this is my _______, and she's cool." I love it lol. Also I'm not very verbal, so I like to be able to 'speak' through my hand by pressure, or give directions by a tug, ect. Though if I have to pick a way to walk, I prefer to walk with hands in pockets, so close to the others shoulders that we brush against each other at every stride.

I really like hands though if I'm sitting still, I love playing with their fingers while sitting together for a movie, while driving, ect ect.

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Hazel lights

I was in just one relationship once. It lasted a week before I admitted to myself that I didn't romantically like the guy. We held hands twice and it was honestly just okay. It wasn't anything special at all. If anything I felt like I was on a leash. Though it's possible it just depends on the person. I hugged him a few times too and I liked hugging my friends more. What's kind of funny is that after holding his hand I felt like holding my friends hand when I was walking next her so I guess the enjoyment of showing that we were exclusive didn't really work for me at all.

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A Taste of Harmony

I initiate hand holding to steal warmth from others and once I'm warm enough I shake it off. :P

Other times I might initiate hand holding is when someone needs rescue from falling or

when someone is under extreme stress or low health.

I see it as more of healing or energy transferring gesture to help others. :)

Hand shaking as form of greeting is fine with me :)

I think I prefer hugging instead of hand holding. :D

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Mapleleaf

For me, hand holding is a little bit of possessive, but not much, and not in a bad way. And it is comforting; I reach for my husband's hand so I know he's there... not necessarily just there in a physical way, but also there emotionally and spiritually for me. And also, as some have mentioned, it's acceptable to hold hands in places where other PDA isn't acceptable, so I find that comforting as well. Oog said it best, it's security, for me, at least. ^_^

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Touchofinsight

From what I can tell, its just another way of expressing that desire to be in physical contact with your partner.

I remember when an ex of mine met up for the first time while walking down the street she kept tapping at my hands and I had no idea what she was trying to do. So I put my hand in hers (while continuing to walk and she gripped so quickly it took me by surprise) and then I was like oooohhh.. so unlike me to not notice a simple thing like that.

*shrugs.

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Naosuu

I'm personally a touchie-feelie person. Also, since I'm the youngest in my family, I grew up on holding other people's hands; normally my brother's, one of my sister's or my mom's.

Holding hands is a great way to stick together in a crowded place. I went on a trip to Japan last summer with my brother and we held hands to prevent getting separated. It was stupidly hot, so he held my pinky with his index finger. I guess it was more like, "holding fingers" though. *shrugs*

While I agree holding hands is definitively labeled a "couple" thing, I don't think it's a "possessive" marker. Yeah, it definitively sends the "we're together" signal, but as Tan and LG said, sometimes it's nice, reassuring and still allows people to have some physical intimacy in public.

IMO, I've held hands with my female friends and I don't give a rat's ass if someone thinks I'm a lesbian. Same thing with my brother and we get mistaken for being a couple all the time.

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Goonie

For me it's a comfort thing. It's nice to have that hand grab mine after a really bad day.

I do believe in the energy transfer which is why I refuse to touch some peoples hands unless I have to. That and it's a lil rude to immediately wipe your hands if they are sweaty

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bluejeanjirl

Well, there was a old thread about this that was recently locked for being inactive, so I thought I'd open this thread to offer my thoughts and solicit yours.

Your hands, like your lips, have quite a bit of brain devoted to processing touch in that area. Touching sensitive spots together is pleasurable, so people like to hold hands.

That's my thought on the subject.

Otherwise to me hand-holding is a hug you can maintain while walking or sitting.

that's a great description: "a hug you can maintain while walking or sitting." or doing a few other things..... .... wish I had someone to hold hands with...

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Amedot

I hold hands with friends and family as well as my GF. I love holding hands!

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John.G

I'm actually quite fond of holding hands. .

I hold my mother's hand alot while we're in the car, or walking, or sitting. .

It makes me feel secure, it's as far as I'll go in the matter of actually enjoying physical contact. Anything past hand holding I don't feel comfortable with.

I do it to show that I love a person, almost like we're connected. It's a statement that the other is under my supervision, that they belong to me and I won't tolerate another person touching them. I'm very possessive I guess. But hands to me symbolize productiveness, and that you're dedicating half of that on me ^_^

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WhenSummersGone

I quite enjoy holding hands. Just another way to be close to a partner and I'm a very sensual person. I enjoy a lot of affection in a relationship and actually a relationship without affection wouldn't seem like a real relationship to me. Being close like that is something I need from a partner.

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Touchofinsight

Despite how I described holding hands earlier I am a pretty sensual person in a relationship.

Just like whensummersgone I need a relationship to have a lot of physical affection its half the reason I willingly enter them. Scratch my head, rub my pack and I'll purr like a cat, no joke. I have incredibly sensitive skin when I let my guard down around people I am close with. Massages... mmmm yeaaaa

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InterPlatonic

I think that as a child we held the hands of our parents and that gave us a sense of security. That might have something to do with it. When you pick up a cat by the neck they stop moving, because when they were babies that's how their mum would carry them. I haven't held hands in such a long time so I don't know if I would need to do that again. But I have nothing against it either.

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Manu

I really like holding hands, if a guy whom I like will hold my hand, its kind of affectionate and sweet... Not so much with girls... Its like a sisterly feeling if a girl does it...

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Samael

Don't remember ever holding hands. I would be weirded out if someone tried to hold my hand. Hand holding, in my mind, corresponds to feelings of romantic or platonic affection - things that are alien to me.

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