Member54880 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Hi, Aqua-ace here. I chose a life without sex, but I'm curious about this topic. It ties into a major question I'm trying to figure out: What factors (about sex, and about an individual) influence whether sex is worth it to someone or not? I know quite a lot about why people (asexual or not) would want to reject sex, and got some more clues about that from the 'celibacy' thread I created, but I know so little about why or how asexuals can enjoy sex other than: enjoying it doesn't require sexual attraction, and if some non-asexuals can happily give up all sex, surely there are also asexuals out there who can enjoy it too? Hi, I was sent here from my recent 'am I asexual' post www.asexuality.org/en/topic/88288-asexualasexual/ where I wonder whether I can be asexual and love (not tolerate, love) sex. It seems I can! And do! I agree that this is kinda a topic that is brushed under the rug..I found no information of this til coming here (even after having read the AVENwiki and FAQ) to this thread. I'm so glad to see I'm not the only asexual who enjoys sex! I've been here for 5 months now and you are one of the few asexuals I met who enjoys sex itself, for what it is. I don't know if there are just few of them in the asexual community, or if there are more of them, but are under-represented. I think it is an important topic to discuss either way; asexuality has a lot of variation within it, and some of that variation has unfortunately slipped through the cracks. Hi Kirby here am I am completely repulsed by the idea of being inside another body. If someone could please tell me what is so great about it? Because it makes me sick to my stomach to think about having someone's bodily fluids on me. Sex is gross and meaningless. Anyone who feels strongly about themselves and sex (whether they are repulsed or enjoy it) shouldn't assert that as an absolute applicable to everyone, and I've dealt with someone who really wanted sex, saying it's a wonderful thing while accusing me of being 'selfish' for not wanting it. What was good for him, was not good for me, and he was being disrespectful anyways. Since you're repulsed, you're not going to see anything great about it first-hand. I can't either, because I'm repulsed too, but some people can find sex very enjoyable. But for others, it's just not worth it for them. Link to post Share on other sites
labskeleton Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Aqua I wasn't trying to assert that as an absolute applicable to everyone, I was merely expressing my views on this subject. Sorry to all who found me offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
aliceaway Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Hi, Aqua-ace here. I chose a life without sex, but I'm curious about this topic. It ties into a major question I'm trying to figure out: What factors (about sex, and about an individual) influence whether sex is worth it to someone or not? I know quite a lot about why people (asexual or not) would want to reject sex, and got some more clues about that from the 'celibacy' thread I created, but I know so little about why or how asexuals can enjoy sex other than: enjoying it doesn't require sexual attraction, and if some non-asexuals can happily give up all sex, surely there are also asexuals out there who can enjoy it too? Hi, I was sent here from my recent 'am I asexual' post here where I wonder whether I can be asexual and love (not tolerate, love) sex. It seems I can! And do! I agree that this is kinda a topic that is brushed under the rug..I found no information of this til coming here (even after having read the AVENwiki and FAQ) to this thread. I'm so glad to see I'm not the only asexual who enjoys sex! I've been here for 5 months now and you are one of the few asexuals I met who enjoys sex itself, for what it is. I don't know if there are just few of them in the asexual community, or if there are more of them, but are under-represented. I think it is an important topic to discuss either way; asexuality has a lot of variation within it, and some of that variation has unfortunately slipped through the cracks. I think it's important too, because upon realising I felt no sexual attraction I immediately thought I may be asexual, and all the research I did just confused me further as I found no evidence of anyone else like me! It really sucked thinking that I had finally found a word for what I experience..only to find that it didn't feel quite right in any of the definitions I encountered.It took a lot of questioning individual people to realise that I still 'qualified', even if as an outcast. I think it is probably a bit of both factors. I really like this topic for broadening our veiws on what asexuality encompasses :) Human sexuality is so varied and fluid, it fascinates me to no end! Link to post Share on other sites
Calla Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Hi, Aqua-ace here. I chose a life without sex, but I'm curious about this topic. It ties into a major question I'm trying to figure out: What factors (about sex, and about an individual) influence whether sex is worth it to someone or not? I know quite a lot about why people (asexual or not) would want to reject sex, and got some more clues about that from the 'celibacy' thread I created, but I know so little about why or how asexuals can enjoy sex other than: enjoying it doesn't require sexual attraction, and if some non-asexuals can happily give up all sex, surely there are also asexuals out there who can enjoy it too? I identify as gray since sometimes sexual attraction does show up for me, but plenty of other times it doesn't and I still like sex. This has caused plenty of introspection on my part. Some of the reasons I enjoy it include, sating curiosity, relieving libido, a fun activity to share with someone who is close to you, and ummm, it feels good! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Wyrmcraft Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Hi, I'm Wyrmcraft, and I'm a gray. I'm caught between the Gray-a thing of only being attracted to people close to me, my desire to make those people people happy, my own physical attraction, my phobia esque panic attacks of losing control and being touched, a touch of masochism, and a complete lack of self-worth carefully hidden under a vast layer of arrogance. I feel like I could enjoy sex with someone who is very close to me and who respects my many and potentially problematic boundaries. However I would much prefer everything that leads up to sex, the cuddles, kissing, petting, and etc; as long as that made them happy. Sex is honestly a trust thing for me, and thus scary. Link to post Share on other sites
MXC Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Hello, I'm faeriefate. People on chat call me faer, faerie, fate, or any other version of my name. I've never had sex, because I'm a celibate asexual. However, I plan on having sex on my honeymoon after I get married. I also plan on having a child of my own, which means that I'll need to have sex to do that. Chances are that I'll have a sexual partner, and I'll have sex with them because I'm willing to compromise to make them happy. However, I don't experience sexual attraction to either gender. In fact, anything below the belt is gross and sex is gross and awkward. I'm an asexual, and I plan on having sex. Does that count? Hi! I'm grey and enjoyed sex when I had it so I would like to give you an advice as from your post I'm not sure about your point of view about this: to make a sexual person happy you should be able to enjoy sex to some degree. if a sexual person is in love he/she won't be able to enjoy sex if YOU are not enjoying it! for them is one of the most important way to show their love and to RECEIVE love from their partner. that's probably the main reason way lots of mixed relationship do not work. said that, good luck! making a relationship work is always hard anyway :) Link to post Share on other sites
AngelsDarkRose6 Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Hello I am AngelsDarkRose I am asexual and aromantic. I have never been in any sort of romantic relationship and I have never had sex. That being said I would definitely like to have sex one day. I do not really experience sexual desire all that much but I have masturbated before and it felt nice so I assume sex will be the same. So should I ever some how end up in a relationship I will probably have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 I'm Mark(i) and I don't understand how girl parts are supposed to work. I just find them confusing and until I can download an app for android that let's me scan girl parts in and pull up a user manual I am going to play it safe and avoid any possible contact that could lead me to being put in that situation. Luckily girls seem to sense my not wanting in the pants and avoid me like the plague or a sick baby on a crowded airplane. However I do find one weird little thing about girl junk cool but not all girls can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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