New, With Some Questions

[Avenfate]

Hello,

I'm posting this on behalf of a friend, and I'll say now that he's not actually asexual (nor am I), but I'm having difficulty finding places my questions might apply. If you have any suggestions, please redirect me to more appropriate sites.

My friend is into non-sexual bondage. His wife is into bondage, but always associates it with sex and can't separate the two (she wants roleplay scenarios, and always expects it will end in sex). He'll participate in sexual bondage with her but wants to try nonsexual bondage with her as well as with other women. I've been helping him explore this interest (unbeknownst to her), as he hasn't had much opportunity to. We figured the better he understands it, the better he can explain the differences to her, but he hasn't had much luck.

So I've agreed to do a little research and look for like-minded people (he's convinced he's the only one out there, but I know that can't be true) or communities they can talk to or meet with as a couple and help her start to learn about this so she's not convinced her husband is looking for a way to step out on her.

Is there any advice anyone can offer on this? If I haven't explained clearly enough, feel free to ask for clarification.

[Crooked Ascension]

Err sorry I have no real advice to give. Err welcome I suppose? I am sure someone will help you though. Ta-Ta!

[Arctic_Revenge]

Ooh, I'm glad I read this one!!

I'm a single, asexual domme and there are small communities here and there (places like fetlife) of asexual and non-sexual BDSMers. Your friend isn't alone!!

While I can appreciate the sex aspect of BDSM in theory, it's completely unsexual for me. It's a control thing. A power trip, if you will.

If you have any specific questions, I will try to answer them!

Addendum: You may find this useful: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/81289-bdsm-kinks-and-asexual-fetishes/