How rare do you mean in "rarely experiencing sexual attraction"?

[Anonartist]

What is your personal definition of "rare" in this?

This is mostly aimed at gray asexuals, but demis as well. It's sort of a poll I guess. Perhaps this should go in the poll area. Hrm...

Anyways.

~If you identify as a gray-asexual, or rarely experiencing sexual attraction, how often is "rare"? If you know?

~Or if you only experience it in specific or rare situations, what sort of situations are they?

~As a demi would you ever feel attracted to someone you want to be that close with but aren't? Or only when you're and your partner are already that close?

[H3DW1G]

Hi Anonartist. Although I do not identify as gray-asexual (I identify as Queer) I also rarely feel sexual attractions or what I would term a sex-drive. For me 'rare' seems to be that about a handful of times each year I experience sexual attraction and only about half of those times do I feel like or seek to act on those feelings. Usually if I experience sexual attraction it is towards other women, and about once a year I am sexually attracted to a man. I do feel drawn to people quite often, and interestingly I feel drawn to men more often in manner that I describe as 'resonance' because I feel a connection to their masculine side as I also strongly identify as male even though I am a biological woman.

[MadRat]

In my case "rarely" means I´ve been sexually attracted only to one unbelievably nice and charismatic guy.

Which doesn´t mean I had sex with him/I will ever have sex with him. It´s very improbable.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Never "directly". Only through actually connecting with someone on a personal and deep emotional level.

By the way, I'm one of those people who defines my demi/grey-asexuality more in terms of desire than "attraction". I don't think I've ever really been "sexually attracted" to anyone, in the sense of looking at a person and thinking "I want to have sex with them". In the past it mostly just came as a natural extension of emotional closeness and affectionate (nonsexual) physical intimacy. How long does that take? Months. And it's not guaranteed to happen.

So that's my two demi cents: basically "never directly". But can happen "indirectly". Although I don't really find it too useful to think of it as "sexual attraction", as such. Sorry if this is confusing. I don't know how better to answer it though. :lol:

[Janus the Fox]

Though subjective and individualistic, "rare" sexual attractions between people can be say... Once per week... To only ever once or experience a phase of frequent sexual attractions then nothing thereafter and everything in between.

Though I've had a rather odd experiences in the past and not really having a clue if I do experience sexual attractions, I do experience rare bursts of aesthetic attraction. Sometimes a similar story with libido, often having a connection with both genders in some way like sexual thought. Aromantic - Asexual otherwise...

[kochouran]

Never "directly". Only through actually connecting with someone on a personal and deep emotional level.

By the way, I'm one of those people who defines my demi/grey-asexuality more in terms of desire than "attraction". I don't think I've ever really been "sexually attracted" to anyone, in the sense of looking at a person and thinking "I want to have sex with them". In the past it mostly just came as a natural extension of emotional closeness and affectionate (nonsexual) physical intimacy. How long does that take? Months. And it's not guaranteed to happen.

So that's my two demi cents: basically "never directly". But can happen "indirectly". Although I don't really find it too useful to think of it as "sexual attraction", as such. Sorry if this is confusing. I don't know how better to answer it though. :lol:

I'm the same because it's hard for me to know when aesthetic or romantic attraction crosses into sexual territory. Even though I've never really felt an instinctual drive to have sex, I do fantasize about sex a lot with a handful of individuals so I think being grey-a fits better. For me, it is more about the situation than the frequency since I find lots of people aesthetically attractive and have a high libido. I tend to make up backstories in my fantasies of celebrities and fictional characters; we don't necessarily need an emotional connection, but there needs to be some sort of familiarity or mutual understanding.

My partner has been kind of an anomaly in all of this because I did feel comfortable with him touching me in a flirtatious way, which suggests some type of attraction (I normally don't like physical contact). In the beginning, sex never entered my mind when I was with him, but now that we've been together for a couple of years and reached a place of trust and understanding, I can and do think about sex with him and not be filled with dread or apathy.

[Ithaka]

For me, "rare" is like a couple times per year. I'll have spurts where I'm super sexually-charged and feel like I've had live wires implanted in my loins, but I have a feeling that has more to do with me being a teenager than my sexual orientation. And it only happens two or three times per year; the rest of the year I'm about as sexual as your friendly neighborhood boulder.

[Scarlett-Raine]

I think there has only been one person I have ever been truly sexually attracted to from the outset. Just his presence and physical appearance made me desire sexual intimacy with him.

In my other relations with people, I have been more emotionally or intellectually attracted to them, and then they have instigated sexual things with me which I went along with. I very rarely have the desire to start something sexual with someone, unless we have become very close in other ways for quite a period of time. Even though I haven't instigated a majority of it, I have still been able to enjoy it. I mainly enjoy the fact that I am making the other person feel good, rather than anything they do to me.