What if a fetish was your only sexuality?

[shoesniffer]

This is more-or-less the phrase I typed into Google and it led me here to the Gray Area of the Asexuality forum.

Needless to say I joined. All I've ever wanted to do (and ever since I've been sexually aware) is smell women's feet hence the odd choice of username. In fact I've come to the conclusion that if feet didn't smell foot festishism would not exist because I really feel it is the 'smell' that fetishists are secretly drawn to. Yet sexual intercourse I have always found similar to watching someone go to the toilet and never once have I been aroused by it so I've always termed myself 'asexual'. This is what I tell possible dates rather than ruin the relationship, they always end it anyway once they find that out.

The question is should I even be here? The truth is I have always been highly sexed concerning this type of submissive foot fetishism but sex itself - never. Even kissing is something I have to emulate (you know, proper kissing) because it does nothing for me. It is true I am asexual as far as sex is concerned yet I can climax every time with my nose buried in a woman's shoe.

Can I truly be asexual as I tell partners or am I hopelessly perverted sexually?

[Janus the Fox]

Fetishism is just a separate part sexuality. Even here, some probably wouldn't admit it but there really are Asexuals with any number of fetishes. Mines more so sexual in regards to a furry art, gaming fetishism, often homosexual, Auto-erotism, solo fetishism and incest are common themes that works for me. The difference is that I don't actively seek my fetishism but rather accidentally come into contact with it. (I blame Tumblr :lol: ) it also goes absent for long stretches of time despite being in contact with it.

Despite all of that, do identify as Asexual, as I simply do not experience sexual attraction nor a desire for basically... Sex or romance, otherwise things are very inconsistent that drift in and out of Bisexuality in some areas.

[solorider]

Hey shoesniffer...I think you've found a good place to explore your fetish/ sexuality. I'm a "newbie" to AVEN of only a few days, and have felt very relieved in that short period of time to finally have a better understanding of who I am. Over the course of my life, I have always felt out of place among my "scoreboard" male friends, and very uneasy around the women with whom I have been close and intimate. Generally, a feeling of inadequacy in being unable to fully satisy a partner's sexual needs, because I've never had the desire for sex, making out, etc. I just accepted being a life-long bachelor content with being an independent doer in life's journey. After all, there are many ways for each of us to be procreative in our lives, and in society, without being sexually active! Anyway, I just thought I was an oddball in a very sex-drive driven society, but, thanks to AVEN, I know that I'm not the only oddball-but, one of many that make up this large, community, all seeking and learning where they fit in, and enjoying this understanding with like-minded individuals.

I agree with PerfectlyDarkTales, that many people here probably have fetishes that may not be shared for whatever reasons. I will share something with you...because I can truly relate to your situation. I know that I'm asexual, but I like you, really get turned on by feet, primarily the smell of them - women or mens feet...the rest of the individual's body does very little for arousal. I share this with you, because I do know where you are coming from, and to let you know...that even if I'm the only person on this site to admit to the same fetish...you are not the only "shoesniffer" out there...there are at least two of us-lol...welcome!!!!!!!!!

[alpacaterpillar]

Yes, there are asexuals with fetishes of a sexual nature (it's all a bit vague, but everything involving asexuality is I think). Personally I have a really weird obsession with girls' skirts blowing up, but no interest in having sex with girls (or boys). I think it is related to imagining the sensation or something.

Welcome to Aven! Introductory cake!

:cake: :cake:

[panda_bunny]

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/81289-bdsm-kinks-and-asexual-fetishes/nope, your certaintly not alone. A fetish is my only sexuality as well. Alot of asexuals have fetishes actually, something i was surprised but nonetheless relieved to hear since it cleared up some confusion i had about myself.

A fetish doenst necessarily make you grey either. A fetish simply triggers sexual arousal, which is different from sexual attraction. An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction A grey asexual is someone who feels sexual attraction only sometimes. Theres other terms too like demisexual: someone who can only feel sexual attraction when an adequate emotional relationship is formed with a person, and there are words to describe one's romantic orientation.(homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic etc)

but whatever term you use to describe yourself, (if you choose to use any at all) welcome to the community :)

[alpacaterpillar]

I don't mean to turn the thread off-course, but I just thought of something: does anyone think it is possible to have a fetish for girls' bodies?

[Janus the Fox]

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Axestopper Pete" data-cid="2298303" data-time="1355708362"><p>

I don't mean to turn the thread off-course, but I just thought of something: does anyone think it is possible to have a fetish for girls' bodies?</p></blockquote>

Girls bodies as a whole? Without Sexual attraction for the whole? I'm sure that's possible... It i think comes close to partial sexualism where a person only finds a certain body part sexually attractive but its not otherwise considered a fetish.

[Hitch37]

I am new here also and know exactly where you are coming from.I have a fetish for tickling and it is my only means of getting aroused.So yes,I believe it is possible to have a fetish and be asexual.I have known about it since I was a little kid.I would find excuses to tickle my little female playmates.Somehow I always knew I was different and never mentioned it to anyone until only a few years ago when I confided in a friend.My sexuality has never grown beyond my desire to tickle women.It is not easy to deal with at all, but its reality.Hope this helps in some way.

[alpacaterpillar]

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Axestopper Pete" data-cid="2298303" data-time="1355708362"><p>

I don't mean to turn the thread off-course, but I just thought of something: does anyone think it is possible to have a fetish for girls' bodies?</p></blockquote>

Girls bodies as a whole? Without Sexual attraction for the whole? I'm sure that's possible... It i think comes close to partial sexualism where a person only finds a certain body part sexually attractive but its not otherwise considered a fetish.

I guess... It seems that I just have zero interest in sex itself. I've been doing a great deal of, uh, reflecting on my fetish, and have come to the conclusion that the excitement comes from imagining what out-of-control wind feels like on girls, particularly in regards to their clothing. Weird thing is, this is clearly sexual to me, and yet the idea of a girl lost in a blizzard seems more romantic (I like to imagine rushing out to give her a warm hug and bring her to safety). I think perhaps the whole clothing thing is related somehow - for example, something I find really exciting is a girl wearing a warm hoodie/sweater and wearing a small skirt completely out of control due to wind. Contrast, perhaps? Maybe I'm overanalysing again...

Anyway, I think it might be simpler to most people if I just say I'm Grey-Ace. Ahem, hopefully the end of this slightly irrelevant sub-thread.

[Tommy2700]

I have a similar focus regarding men & footwear - it's a turn-on- but as another poster suggested, it's just ONE aspect of a person's sexuality.

Fitting all of the pieces into a healthy relationship with someone else- that's a huge challenge.

[Coyote97]

....

[ArticBreakup]

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Axestopper Pete" data-cid="2298303" data-time="1355708362"><p>

I don't mean to turn the thread off-course, but I just thought of something: does anyone think it is possible to have a fetish for girls' bodies?</p></blockquote>

Girls bodies as a whole? Without Sexual attraction for the whole? I'm sure that's possible... It i think comes close to partial sexualism where a person only finds a certain body part sexually attractive but its not otherwise considered a fetish.

I guess... It seems that I just have zero interest in sex itself. I've been doing a great deal of, uh, reflecting on my fetish, and have come to the conclusion that the excitement comes from imagining what out-of-control wind feels like on girls, particularly in regards to their clothing. Weird thing is, this is clearly sexual to me, and yet the idea of a girl lost in a blizzard seems more romantic (I like to imagine rushing out to give her a warm hug and bring her to safety). I think perhaps the whole clothing thing is related somehow - for example, something I find really exciting is a girl wearing a warm hoodie/sweater and wearing a small skirt completely out of control due to wind. Contrast, perhaps? Maybe I'm overanalysing again...

Anyway, I think it might be simpler to most people if I just say I'm Grey-Ace. Ahem, hopefully the end of this slightly irrelevant sub-thread.

Actually there are fetishes for certain elements of nature, and it sounds like yours is wind. You like the way wind flows over a female form. which is a thing.

I have a friend who has a fetish for water, specifically women in pools, women getting rained on, and wet hair and the like. She's mostly straight, but the image is just enticing for her. She doesn't want to touch or do anything, just look. I've also heard of similar things for mud and soap (not natural but kind of similar).

[Fightin' Texas Aggie]

Fetishism is just a separate part sexuality. Even here, some probably wouldn't admit it but there really are Asexuals with any number of fetishes. Mines more so sexual in regards to a furry art, gaming fetishism, often homosexual, Auto-erotism, solo fetishism and incest are common themes that works for me. The difference is that I don't actively seek my fetishism but rather accidentally come into contact with it. (I blame Tumblr :lol: ) it also goes absent for long stretches of time despite being in contact with it.

Despite all of that, do identify as Asexual, as I simply do not experience sexual attraction nor a desire for basically... Sex or romance, otherwise things are very inconsistent that drift in and out of Bisexuality in some areas.

You blame tumblr? I blame South Park and Family Guy.

[Amedot]

I have quite a few fetishes... But I've never looked at a person and experienced sexual attraction, with the exception of developing a sexual attraction of sorts to a romantic partner. Engaging in these fetishes helps me enjoy sexual play. It turns it into a game, and so when I think of 'sex', I don't think of genitals touching each other, I think of acting out a scene and pleasure being a mere byproduct of this type of play. I can only climax if indulging in these fetishes... But I don't consider these fetishes my sexuality, I consider them the only way to engage in my libido.

[Arctic Fox]

I often ponder the same question myself. I've only told one person that I'm kind of asexual, but she doesn't think I am, because of the way I look at her. I suppose she has a point; I am attracted to her; I want to make her scream, just not in a pleasurable way. However, seeing as my fantasies and desires centre around causing people pain as opposed to having sex with them, I would say that it's sadistic attraction rather than sexual attraction. Although, some would argue that they're the same thing.