Wenderbread Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I've only recently come across the term and after some searching and googling, I could only come up with the one same definition repeated everywhere: "a person who experiences romantic love but does not want their feelings to be reciprocated." (taken from the AVENwiki) I was instantly overcome with confusion. I imagine this is what sexuals would feel like when they first hear of asexuality. I'm not trying to talk against anyone who identifies as lithromantic, but I would like to know more about it. I just don't understand why someone who feels romantic attraction wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship. I've tried looking at it through metaphors, but I couldn't really think of anything that quite fits. Is it similar to an asexual with a libido?Once again, I'm really not trying to offend anyone. It's just that the one definition really doesn't explain the orientation in enough detail. Can anyone, whether you identify as lithromantic or not, attempt to define it in your own words? Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Hi! I can offer you some readings: Anyone ever hear of a lithromantic or identify as one? Do i sound like a lithromantic or someone who just has bad luck? Lithromantic or Gray-romantic? a case which falls kinda in between the two Hope it helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Wenderbread Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 Hi! I can offer you some readings: Anyone ever hear of a lithromantic or identify as one? Do i sound like a lithromantic or someone who just has bad luck? Lithromantic or Gray-romantic? a case which falls kinda in between the two Hope it helps! Yes, this is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Fruity<3 Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 o.o I never knew that was a thing. Hmm... seems a little like me actually. I do love the idea of being cuddly with someone, but ultimately get scared or off put when someone tries something with me. I have urges to hold people's hands or give people hugs, but I don't always act on them b/c I'd feel very uncomfortable with someone doing that to me. I guess it's mostly because they're interested in me and I don't want to feel pressured into physical contact if I'm not comfortable. I'm alright if the person offers though ( a hand or a hug) because it's ultimately my choice to engage in contact. Idk if that helps... but it helped me! Thanks for posting this! Link to post Share on other sites
Wenderbread Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 o.o I never knew that was a thing. Hmm... seems a little like me actually. I do love the idea of being cuddly with someone, but ultimately get scared or off put when someone tries something with me. I have urges to hold people's hands or give people hugs, but I don't always act on them b/c I'd feel very uncomfortable with someone doing that to me. I guess it's mostly because they're interested in me and I don't want to feel pressured into physical contact if I'm not comfortable. I'm alright if the person offers though ( a hand or a hug) because it's ultimately my choice to engage in contact. Idk if that helps... but it helped me! Thanks for posting this! Yes! I think the only way I could have ever understood it is through hearing personal stories, so you have definitely helped, as did Ithaca. It just never occurred to me that someone who feels romantic attraction would not desire reciprocated feelings. Now that I know, it almost feels silly that it was confusing in the first place xD Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Hi! I can offer you some readings: Anyone ever hear of a lithromantic or identify as one? Do i sound like a lithromantic or someone who just has bad luck? Lithromantic or Gray-romantic? a case which falls kinda in between the two Hope it helps! Yes, this is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks so much! No problem! Glad it helped! If you're looking for threads on aromanticism, gray-romanticism and/or demiromanticism (liths are in the gray area as far as I know), you can find an index here. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 "Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone. Link to post Share on other sites
Wenderbread Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 "Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone. This is what the Aromantics wiki says: "The term lithromanticism comes from the Latin lith- meaning stone. It was coined by Ian Ridley and Lanthir Calendae, drawing on the context of butch-femme sexual terminology." I'm still not sure what the connection to stone is, though. Edit: Ah, the wiki links to this site; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_butch Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 The term lithromanticism comes from the Latin lith- meaning stone. *my inner linguistic Sheldon winces* That's Greek, not Latin. :p Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 I don't know if this helps, but I always viewed lithromanticism as the presence of romantic attraction, but no romantic drive, or at least, no desire to satisfy that drive with a romantic partner. The attraction is there, but the person does not feel the need to enter a relationship or have their feelings reciprocated. I kinda view lithromanticism as a counterpart to the people who identify as asexual because of their lack of a drive to pursue partnered sex while still experiencing sexual attraction. These are all just musings on the topic though, as I do not identify as lith myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Thanks to Ith for the explanations. And yes, Mysticus, lith (lithos, λίθος) is Greek for stone. The http://aromantics.wikia.com/wiki/Lithromantic'>wiki entry should be changed. "Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone. ;) But that would actually be "Mineralist" Lyrics: Here's a shocking revelation for you voyeursSuch a heinous deviation, these are no cluesI'm a Mineralist, I'm a MineralistJust the thought of ironing gives me spasms of lustI creep up to old wrecked cars and lick off the rustI'm a Mineralist, I'm a MineralistMother used to try to metal in my affairsKeep your nose up off that grindstone, peopleWill stareGet the lead out of your pants and change yourUnderwearI've been stealing baby bottles since I was bornI'll go blind from balling bearings, doctors haveWarnedI like making out with steel-rimmed glassesMore than hornedErik Satie gets my rocks off, Cage is a dreamPhillip Glass is a Mineralist to the extremeI like tickling ivories and fingering stonesWhen my mercury goes up I play with my bonePeole take for granite my perversion is wrongI'm not harming anyone by beating my gongI'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist I'll make love to minerals as long as I canAnd in fifty years I'll be a jaded old manI'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist Link to post Share on other sites
Wenderbread Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 I don't know if this helps, but I always viewed lithromanticism as the presence of romantic attraction, but no romantic drive, or at least, no desire to satisfy that drive with a romantic partner. The attraction is there, but the person does not feel the need to enter a relationship or have their feelings reciprocated. I kinda view lithromanticism as a counterpart to the people who identify as asexual because of their lack of a drive to pursue partnered sex while still experiencing sexual attraction. These are all just musings on the topic though, as I do not identify as lith myself. Yeah, that's kind of what I was trying to say in my original post, but worded nicer. I think this explanation describes it the most clearly for me. Thanks! :) Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I'm not gray-a, but I would call myself lithromantic because I've had romantic feelings or crushes on people who are more than 200 years old, and certainly not capable of returning the romance. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Thanks to Ith for the explanations. **happily noms some cake** Thanks, Kelly! Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 "Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone. my brain keeps trying to tell me it means someone who has romantic feelings for Mick Jagger and Keith Richards :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 "Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone. my brain keeps trying to tell me it means someone who has romantic feelings for Mick Jagger and Keith Richards :lol: I must be demi-lithoromantic because I have feelings for Keith Richards only. Not like he looks now, though. And not as I look now also. So the Sally of 30 years ago is demi-lithoromantic for the keith Richards of 30 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 So the Sally of 30 years ago is demi-lithoromantic for the keith Richards of 30 years ago. Archeodemilithromantic? :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 So the Sally of 30 years ago is demi-lithoromantic for the keith Richards of 30 years ago. Archeodemilithromantic? :lol: Exactly! ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Unrelated topic: my parents '20th Century Pop Culture 101' has moved on to the Rolling Stones. My comment of ''I haven't heard any of these before'' nearly got me disowned. Back on topic: As a person similarly inclined, I think of it as this- I may love you. In fact, I could be head over heels for you. To talk with you, be in your company I'm happy. I research every (maybe not every, but close) insignificant detail of your existence and think of you endlessly. I am kind and unnaturally generous to you, I will help you when you need it without thinking twice. (On paper this sounds stalkerish, that isn't my intention) But I'm happy alone. I don't feel the need for a romantic relationship, in fact they can make me sick. One night of intimacy, of any kind? With you, I'm game. But I won't be your ''better half''. I won't be your ''girlfriend''. I won't be your ''sweetie pie'' or any other nickname you come up with. I'll just that girl you know down the street or whatever, who you can go to for helping hand or comforting friend that will always be there for you, and you won't have to worry about them finding The One and moving to New York or getting jealous of your fiancé or trying to get you into bed. Make any sense at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 @KoalaMama... I just realized I must've overlooked half your post above, seeing as I did read this thread before (obviously, as I posted right after you) but still was wondering about the connection between lithromantics and stone asexuals until you pointed it out to me again in that other thread. *d'oh!* Link to post Share on other sites
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