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Can anyone expand on the term "lithromantic?"


Wenderbread

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I've only recently come across the term and after some searching and googling, I could only come up with the one same definition repeated everywhere: "a person who experiences romantic love but does not want their feelings to be reciprocated." (taken from the AVENwiki) I was instantly overcome with confusion. I imagine this is what sexuals would feel like when they first hear of asexuality. I'm not trying to talk against anyone who identifies as lithromantic, but I would like to know more about it. I just don't understand why someone who feels romantic attraction wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship.

I've tried looking at it through metaphors, but I couldn't really think of anything that quite fits. Is it similar to an asexual with a libido?

Once again, I'm really not trying to offend anyone. It's just that the one definition really doesn't explain the orientation in enough detail. Can anyone, whether you identify as lithromantic or not, attempt to define it in your own words?

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o.o I never knew that was a thing. Hmm... seems a little like me actually. I do love the idea of being cuddly with someone, but ultimately get scared or off put when someone tries something with me. I have urges to hold people's hands or give people hugs, but I don't always act on them b/c I'd feel very uncomfortable with someone doing that to me. I guess it's mostly because they're interested in me and I don't want to feel pressured into physical contact if I'm not comfortable. I'm alright if the person offers though ( a hand or a hug) because it's ultimately my choice to engage in contact.

Idk if that helps... but it helped me! Thanks for posting this!

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o.o I never knew that was a thing. Hmm... seems a little like me actually. I do love the idea of being cuddly with someone, but ultimately get scared or off put when someone tries something with me. I have urges to hold people's hands or give people hugs, but I don't always act on them b/c I'd feel very uncomfortable with someone doing that to me. I guess it's mostly because they're interested in me and I don't want to feel pressured into physical contact if I'm not comfortable. I'm alright if the person offers though ( a hand or a hug) because it's ultimately my choice to engage in contact.

Idk if that helps... but it helped me! Thanks for posting this!

Yes! I think the only way I could have ever understood it is through hearing personal stories, so you have definitely helped, as did Ithaca. It just never occurred to me that someone who feels romantic attraction would not desire reciprocated feelings. Now that I know, it almost feels silly that it was confusing in the first place xD

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No problem! Glad it helped!

If you're looking for threads on aromanticism, gray-romanticism and/or demiromanticism (liths are in the gray area as far as I know), you can find an index here.

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SorryNotSorry

"Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone.

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"Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone.

This is what the Aromantics wiki says: "The term lithromanticism comes from the Latin lith- meaning stone. It was coined by Ian Ridley and Lanthir Calendae, drawing on the context of butch-femme sexual terminology." I'm still not sure what the connection to stone is, though.

Edit: Ah, the wiki links to this site; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_butch

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I don't know if this helps, but I always viewed lithromanticism as the presence of romantic attraction, but no romantic drive, or at least, no desire to satisfy that drive with a romantic partner. The attraction is there, but the person does not feel the need to enter a relationship or have their feelings reciprocated. I kinda view lithromanticism as a counterpart to the people who identify as asexual because of their lack of a drive to pursue partnered sex while still experiencing sexual attraction. These are all just musings on the topic though, as I do not identify as lith myself.

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Thanks to Ith for the explanations. :cake:

And yes, Mysticus, lith (lithos, λίθος) is Greek for stone. The http://aromantics.wikia.com/wiki/Lithromantic'>wiki entry should be changed. :cake:

"Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone.

;) But that would actually be "Mineralist"

Lyrics:

Here's a shocking revelation for you voyeurs
Such a heinous deviation, these are no clues
I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist

Just the thought of ironing gives me spasms of lust
I creep up to old wrecked cars and lick off the rust
I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist

Mother used to try to metal in my affairs
Keep your nose up off that grindstone, people
Will stare
Get the lead out of your pants and change your
Underwear

I've been stealing baby bottles since I was born
I'll go blind from balling bearings, doctors have
Warned
I like making out with steel-rimmed glasses
More than horned

Erik Satie gets my rocks off, Cage is a dream
Phillip Glass is a Mineralist to the extreme

I like tickling ivories and fingering stones
When my mercury goes up I play with my bone

Peole take for granite my perversion is wrong
I'm not harming anyone by beating my gong
I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist

I'll make love to minerals as long as I can
And in fifty years I'll be a jaded old man
I'm a Mineralist, I'm a Mineralist

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I don't know if this helps, but I always viewed lithromanticism as the presence of romantic attraction, but no romantic drive, or at least, no desire to satisfy that drive with a romantic partner. The attraction is there, but the person does not feel the need to enter a relationship or have their feelings reciprocated. I kinda view lithromanticism as a counterpart to the people who identify as asexual because of their lack of a drive to pursue partnered sex while still experiencing sexual attraction. These are all just musings on the topic though, as I do not identify as lith myself.

Yeah, that's kind of what I was trying to say in my original post, but worded nicer. I think this explanation describes it the most clearly for me. Thanks! :)

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I'm not gray-a, but I would call myself lithromantic because I've had romantic feelings or crushes on people who are more than 200 years old, and certainly not capable of returning the romance.

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Thanks to Ith for the explanations. :cake:

**happily noms some cake**

Thanks, Kelly!

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"Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone.

my brain keeps trying to tell me it means someone who has romantic feelings for Mick Jagger and Keith Richards :lol:

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"Lith(o)romantic" sounds as if someone has the hots for stone.

my brain keeps trying to tell me it means someone who has romantic feelings for Mick Jagger and Keith Richards :lol:

I must be demi-lithoromantic because I have feelings for Keith Richards only. Not like he looks now, though. And not as I look now also. So the Sally of 30 years ago is demi-lithoromantic for the keith Richards of 30 years ago.

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So the Sally of 30 years ago is demi-lithoromantic for the keith Richards of 30 years ago.

Archeodemilithromantic? :lol:

Exactly! ^_^

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  • 2 weeks later...

Unrelated topic: my parents '20th Century Pop Culture 101' has moved on to the Rolling Stones. My comment of ''I haven't heard any of these before'' nearly got me disowned.

Back on topic: As a person similarly inclined, I think of it as this-

I may love you. In fact, I could be head over heels for you. To talk with you, be in your company I'm happy. I research every (maybe not every, but close) insignificant detail of your existence and think of you endlessly. I am kind and unnaturally generous to you, I will help you when you need it without thinking twice. (On paper this sounds stalkerish, that isn't my intention)

But I'm happy alone. I don't feel the need for a romantic relationship, in fact they can make me sick. One night of intimacy, of any kind? With you, I'm game. But I won't be your ''better half''. I won't be your ''girlfriend''. I won't be your ''sweetie pie'' or any other nickname you come up with. I'll just that girl you know down the street or whatever, who you can go to for helping hand or comforting friend that will always be there for you, and you won't have to worry about them finding The One and moving to New York or getting jealous of your fiancé or trying to get you into bed.

Make any sense at all?

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@KoalaMama...

I just realized I must've overlooked half your post above, seeing as I did read this thread before (obviously, as I posted right after you) but still was wondering about the connection between lithromantics and stone asexuals until you pointed it out to me again in that other thread. *d'oh!* :blush:

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