anisotrophic Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 3 hours ago, Philip027 said: I'm on my third Canadian winter now. Still loving it, but this is coming from someone who is perpetually hot and had to live somewhere where winter basically doesn't exist (Hawaii) for the majority of their life, so take that as you will. I grew up in a desert, it took me at least a decade (in New England) to feel annoyed by rain. 🙂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xstatic Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 You know all that crazy wedding shit I was paranoid over? Well over the weekend I went to the brides bachelorette party and my boyfriend went to the groom's bachelor party and the bachelorette got bored with her location and got us all an Uber to a different location which just happened to be the same location the bachelor party was at. It ended up being a super awesome coed party and at some point during the evening and my boyfriend called me pretty! Which oh my god hasn't happened before. I don't know if it was because it was drink-related, or whatever, but I will god damn take it and it was amazing. I know he loves me and that I'm happy, and that feels like enough. 🥰 Spoiler 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 10 hours ago, CBC said: Get a hotel room for a couple nights in some city several hours from home that we didn't know too well. Spend a few days exploring the area, or sometimes just enjoying the difference in routine by hanging out in the hotel watching cable TV or using the swimming pool if they had one. That sounds fun! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 11 minutes ago, CBC said: You know what's a fucking stupid quote? "For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness." That *is* a really stupid quote. Now excuse me, I'm going to switch on happy mode by flipping a switch and make life great and everything sunny. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 23 minutes ago, CBC said: I wish SPFA had its own more general venting thread Good idea... make one! There’s an entire ace musings and rantings subforum... no reason I can see why there can’t be a SPFA m&r thread. Yeah, that sentiment is so... patronizing. Like, OMG, thanks for pointing it out! I had NO IDEA all this time I spend feeling bad, I could better utilize feeling good. Wow! 😠 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
anisotrophic Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 4 hours ago, CBC said: "For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness." Anger is sometimes a hell of a lot closer to happiness than despair. It can be the force to make things better. I'm pretty sure my achievements in life are not fueled by happiness, but often by an anger with the ways things are vs. how they should be. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xstatic Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 I don't even know where to put this, but this seems to be the catch all currently so... TOMORROW IS THE DAY Y'ALL!!! (looking at a house to rent with bae and I'm loosing my shit) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xstatic Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 It looks pretty similar to my current living conditions. My current place is definitely better,(quite a bit more space) but my place is 45 minutes away from work. Also, it's hard for me to afford it on my own. This place is pretty much right in the middle of Kansas City... specifically in the neighborhood we want to be in. Only 10 minutes from work and right next to like everything. It's 30 minutes away from the ex instead of 10, so the back and forth with my daughter is a bit more, but I really need the distance from my ex. He still comes over here a lot. Like, a lot a lot. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Depends on the person. I would cut someone who has always been upfront with me quite a bit more slack than I would someone who consistently adjusts the “facts” to suit their own ends. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Expedition Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 You're demanding rigidly defined areas of uncertainty and country? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Expedition Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 No, it's me not checking autocorrect. You're right. And you got the reference. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 It’s the “the story keeps changing” that is problematic, not the uncertainty. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 I’ve accepted uncertainty out of necessity, yet the facts and expectations aren’t morphing. So, what’s the truth, and where do you draw your line? Figure that out and work backwards. Um, get some sleep first! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Expedition Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 But then it feels unfair not take account of the other person's distress which may or may not be leading to changing stories. You can't do that forever though and maintain your own equilibrium. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 You’re generous and perhaps correct. Only Ceebs can know I suppose. Find your line, define it based on facts. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Expedition Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 1 minute ago, Traveler40 said: You’re generous and perhaps correct Or bad at boundaries... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 So again, generous and perhaps correct. 😬 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 12 minutes ago, Expedition said: But then it feels unfair not take account of the other person's distress which may or may not be leading to changing stories. Agree, especially if the person deserves a little slack and/or the changing stories are actually to the person’s disadvantage (continually-changing stories that cast the teller in a better light each time start to feel too good to be true fairly quickly)... but I would also expect the person to face the situation and own up eventually. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 You’re not bothering people. It’s always a tough situation to be in. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Yeah, that happens. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Can’t hurt to try, at least... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RavenAlyssa Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 On 12/10/2012 at 8:34 PM, Vampyremage said: I also wonder, for some asexual partners, if finding something enjoyable in the act itself might help? In my own case, the enjoyment that I get isn't always strictly sexual. Do you mind clarifying what you mean? Or what this might be like? If there's a new mindset I can try to focus on that might make it more enjoyable, I'd like to try it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 1 hour ago, RavenAlyssa said: Do you mind clarifying what you mean? Or what this might be like? If there's a new mindset I can try to focus on that might make it more enjoyable, I'd like to try it. It's an 8 year old post, so not likely to get a reply. But, some aces make a game of it. Some enjoy the cuddling or kissing and focus on that. Some enjoy seeing their partner happy. Just focusing on the parts they like and not the sex bits they dont can help some. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RavenAlyssa Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 On 2/16/2013 at 9:19 AM, Lydian said: I honestly feel nothing from trying to play with myself aside from almost immediately feeling uncomfortable and wanting to stop. If that's just me how would I be with another person? Same here! Sometimes I wonder if part of this is from an internalized idea of sex and sexual things outside of marriage being bad (which I don't ascribe to now, but that's my religious upbringing speaking). Sometimes I wonder (as some have said) if partnered acts are better because there is an element of feeling good with someone -- but as a sometimes repulsed ace, not sure if that would be true for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RavenAlyssa Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 3 hours ago, Serran said: It's an 8 year old post, so not likely to get a reply. But, some aces make a game of it. Some enjoy the cuddling or kissing and focus on that. Some enjoy seeing their partner happy. Just focusing on the parts they like and not the sex bits they dont can help some. Thank you Yes, it is a very old post... I've been reading through this thread and it's been helpful seeing others' stories. And I figure someone now (like you) could see my question and maybe answer it themselves. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RavenAlyssa Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 On 2/24/2015 at 10:02 AM, The Wreyck said: I just call them that because it's not exactly always romantic, but it's not really always platonic either. It's really fluid how I feel and how our relationship plays out. I know that my partner's feelings don't really change. They're always romantically attracted to and romantically love me, they're always sexually attracted to me, and they always want whatever it is that I'm willing to give at the time. I always love them, but what that means changes a lot, and I always like being near them/in there presence, but the degree of actual touch is always changing.. Sometimes I'm really sensually charged, and other times my body or mind or something just screams "Don't touch me!" I feel like my partner puts up with a lot because of my weird fluid nature, but it continues to work somehow. You put this in words, thank you. I feel the same way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 I think we do, but then the “negativity” bombs go off. 😬😂🙄 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 Also, it’s clear that not everyone is dealing with a full deck. (Present company excluded of course! 😂) It’s best to just let them vent their crazy and let it hang in the air while perhaps quietly deal with what actually matters elsewhere? Then there’s the point that this is a public forum and perhaps letting it all hang out isn’t too comfortable for many? I’m not sure exactly, but you’re not alone either way. With that said, it’s almost 1am, and I need sleep.. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 4 hours ago, CBC said: How do some people not write about everything that's quietly destroying them? /no-context mood Not comfortable sharing it for a million different reasons? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 (that’s a speculative answer to your question, not a question to you in response to your question) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.