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BDSM, Kinks, and "Asexual Fetishes"


BØØM

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I have a fetish for tease and denial especially with vibrators.

My kinks are mainly oriented around sadomasoxism, bondage, pet play and nudity.

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Had a fetish since as long as I can remember. My childhood self now disgusts me sometimes. So it was probably some kind of imprinting thing.

I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Categorically... it'll be something within the fat fetish region of fetishes, but not that, exactly (and it's nothing to do with any aesthetics). I don't want to talk about it. I wish it would not exist.

I don't find anything about what it is arousing intellectually, but I can't help what my body does even though I wish I could turn it OFF ALREADY.

Found out I'm not the only one with it, though. It's quite specific, but I stumbled across some.. er, written porn? What is that called? Anyway, and I was like.. what.. the.. fuck.

It didn't make me feel better about it, but I felt less abnormal.

Zora, I think I know what type of fetish specifically you are referring to and if I'm correct, I also share your "fetish" or something similar. I'm guessing you've read erotic stories online? There are many others who are aroused by this type of thing. I can't explain why this stuff turns me on, but I have always been aroused by this. I guess since the fetish involves the human body it's not that weird. For me, it's not something that involves emotional or romantic attraction, it's just pure arousal, so I consider myself asexual, but possibly in some type of grey area?

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Well, considering the official definition of fetish here as I reply...

I'd say I don't have an actual fetish, in that I can get aroused by other things, but we're talking like 98% fetished, in that it's incredibly rare that anything else would work (eh, we all have our moments). Or maybe I just don't try. :) For me, it's public nudity. I can mix it up and add other things and all, but that's virtually always in there when I'm...self-lovin'. This is only in my head, though--wouldn't work in real life.

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Qutenkuddly

Well, considering the official definition of fetish here as I reply...

I'd say I don't have an actual fetish, in that I can get aroused by other things, but we're talking like 98% fetished, in that it's incredibly rare that anything else would work (eh, we all have our moments). Or maybe I just don't try. :) For me, it's public nudity. I can mix it up and add other things and all, but that's virtually always in there when I'm...self-lovin'. This is only in my head, though--wouldn't work in real life.

Yeah, fantasy tends to prove MUCH better than reality. :)

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Wow, I'm glad I found this thread ^^' I wasn't sure if you could have fetishes and be classified as asexual.

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i dont know why but men that are good looking to me always have long hair and blue eyes ie jon bon jovi and justin lee collins im an an asexual

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  • 3 weeks later...
shouzensetsu

I have certain little things that enhance a woman's beauty in my eyes. Let's see...

Tall

Dominant and/or eccentric personality

Thighhighs

Eyepatches

Scars

Tuxedos

Suspenders

Tattoos

(relatively) Deep voices

Short hair (in real life. In 2D I generally prefer long but like short too)

Small breasts (although I do like larger ones too sometimes. Again, really depends on whether we're talking 2D or 3D)

Long legs

Men in tuxedos are pretty nice too.

I suppose you could call these fetishes. Or kinks.

I do not have any fetishes related to sex itself.

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Accents! Some accents make my knees go all wobbly.

Actually voices in general, really.

Mmm, Vegeta <3

I laughed so hard when I read this! I have an insane love for that character and I have to admit the voice is a part of it. Glad to meet another Vegeta fan. ^^

Now, onto the actual topic.

I *think* for something to count as an actual fetish/ kink you actually have to have a sexual desire attached to it. Since I've never experienced sexual attraction I can't say I have true kinks. But I have noticed certain traits will make me much more interested in a person on a romantic level.

I love, love, love other aggressive, masculine types. Guys with sharp canines or wearing eyeliner (yes, so stereotypical goth of me) also hit very high on my scale. And then there's my obsession with leather. ^^ Tattoos (when they having meaning behind them), well defined muscles, blonde hair, some piercings, serious involvement with martial arts, being my height, ect.

I mean, if I found someone who exhibited a large number of these traits I'd love to pounce and claim him as mine. Not because I want sex at all, just man would that guy be epic to around! And God help him if he was ace; I don't think I'd ever let him go. (Bwa ha ha! I might like dominant types but I'm not looking for someone to boss me around.)

Now, I'm curious since I've seen a few other people mention bondage. I'd love to get a partner who would let me tie him down although like I said before not for anything sexual. The way I think of bondage as its more of a trust thing. Anyone else like that?

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Qutenkuddly

Now, I'm curious since I've seen a few other people mention bondage. I'd love to get a partner who would let me tie him down although like I said before not for anything sexual. The way I think of bondage as its more of a trust thing. Anyone else like that?

I do believe there are quite a number of aces who are into both bondage and/or s&m simply for the psychological headspaces they're put in, including, in some cases, the simplification of the roles played in a relationship.

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  • 1 month later...

"Yes".

I have a couple strange fetishes. One has been mentioned on this thread. But I'm not really into talking about them unless I actually "know" you. I'm not ashamed...but sharing such information requires a certain degree of trust. In any case, for this ace they're both indicative of how ABSOLUTELY INSANE the human brain can be given our perceptions of reality. Hehe...stick that last sentence in your rhyming pipe and smoke it....

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guitar sunshine

voices. i love it when people whisper or like have an accent and expecially when they speak a different language to me- brownie points if it's spanish because i can respond back in the same way. i also really like play fighting and being pinned down as long as i trust the person and know they aren't going to try anything funny on me

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Well, considering the official definition of fetish here as I reply...

I'd say I don't have an actual fetish, in that I can get aroused by other things, but we're talking like 98% fetished, in that it's incredibly rare that anything else would work (eh, we all have our moments). Or maybe I just don't try. :) For me, it's public nudity. I can mix it up and add other things and all, but that's virtually always in there when I'm...self-lovin'. This is only in my head, though--wouldn't work in real life.

That's kinda funny. I have a fairly large ENF (embarrassed nude female) fetish. For some reason, it's only (sometimes) arousing when in fantasy/porn, though. Otherwise, my sadistic side kicks in and I just drink in the nervousness and humiliation the girl is feeling.

. . . I'm not as terrible of a person as this post makes me sound. :P

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vrazda verlaine

Otherwise, my sadistic side kicks in and I just drink in the nervousness and humiliation the girl is feeling.

That's interesting. I'm a nonlibidoist who enjoys something similar (not involving nudity, but totally involving nervousness), and I wonder if the "sadistic" part is always the part that I enjoy. I don't think it's strictly sadistic, though, I really like empathizing and imagining being in the place of the person I'm thinking about.

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I'm really interested in the D/s psychological aspect :) being trusted that way and being able to trust that way is a fantasy to a person with trust issues like me xD

and S/m too :redface:

and slight bondage (strangely enough...shibari doesn't really appeal to me)

one question.

can someone really say one has a kink if they haven't really tried it?

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Gho St Ory Qwan

BDSM is interesting and sometimes I get some kind of physical response from observing or thinking of such things, which is kinda interesting. I'm still trying to figure out why exactly.

I love psychological mind play; like banter I guess. But not the shit that comes from flirting, that's just... confusing. More like a battle of wills or something. *shrugs* Iunno.

I LOVE beard. OMG :wub: They always catch my attention. =] But it's not an arousal type fetish, that's just a fixation fetish lolol

I also like the whole play fighting - being pinned down thing. Play fighting is a way to throw in loads of things I'd normally not like and end up enjoying just because of the struggle of the situation. lol I suppose it goes back to the psychological play and BDSMish interests. Me no know.

Hehe It's quite cool seeing it's not too uncommon. It's one of those things people don't really talk about in real life. lawl But the variety is so great. I just find all fetishes interesting man. *wants to conduct research ont hem all*

I'm really interested in the D/s psychological aspect :) being trusted that way and being able to trust that way is a fantasy to a person with trust issues like me xD

and S/m too :redface:

and slight bondage (strangely enough...shibari doesn't really appeal to me)

one question.

can someone really say one has a kink if they haven't really tried it?

Of course you can! Well you can at least make a good fucking guess. People generally know if they are aroused by the idea of sex or not before trying it. Same with fetishes. Whether you like it in practise is different. but it's still possible to (in my opinion) have a fetish for something only in theory but not in practise.

I haven't really tried any of my fetishes. I mean like the BDSM, besides gentle psychological games hehe, so I don't know if I'd like it in practise. But I imagine the interest and response I get to some of those now will probably stick around and I'm not going to deny their existence because I've yet to try such acts. =] Sometimes it's just mental and you don't need to try it, like the OP Vore fetish. Trying that might be impossible, but the fetish is still there. =]

I'm working on being more open (atleast on-line; finding it hard to do in person!). I have a diaper fetish, but it's a rare thing - I engage in it a handful of times a year. It's difficult to find acceptance, especially when wanting to form a relationship, but Fetlife is a great community.

Oh I've heard of this one. It's interesting too! =] I'm not sure how I'd deal with it in real life but when I've read about it I found it really cool for some reason aha >_< I imagine it doesn't get much acceptance! But most fetishes don't really.

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Vampyremage

I wonder if suspension could be considered a fetish? There are few things I love more than suspending and nothing quite compares to the feelings it brings me. I think it would be amazing to suspend with someone I care about.

I know that being tied up and suspended by ropes is considered a fetish (which I would love to try also and I would say I probably have a bit of a fetish for that as well) but you don't hear much about flesh hook suspensions in the world of fetish and BDSM. Its not quite a sexual thing for me, but neither are my other fetishes. Could it be considered a non-sexual fetish?

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Gho St Ory Qwan

I wonder if suspension could be considered a fetish? There are few things I love more than suspending and nothing quite compares to the feelings it brings me. I think it would be amazing to suspend with someone I care about.

I know that being tied up and suspended by ropes is considered a fetish (which I would love to try also and I would say I probably have a bit of a fetish for that as well) but you don't hear much about flesh hook suspensions in the world of fetish and BDSM. Its not quite a sexual thing for me, but neither are my other fetishes. Could it be considered a non-sexual fetish?

My beard fetish is non-sexual. =]

Flesh hook suspension looks cool. I hear there's an experience of transcendence. Sounds cool.

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Member33070

All of my fetishes are nonsexual, they just give off an awesome emotional/psychological response, a deep attachment, a "soul-soaring" effect...and they are, in no particular order...

  • deep voices (especially when combined with accents that roll the R's)
  • accents (especially European ones, and especially ones from the UK)
  • fishnets.
  • straight guys in a couple of traditionally female clothing items (ie, with fishnets and makeup on, or with heels and makeup on...but not full-on drag)
  • goth attire.
  • sideburns :D
  • a bit of stubbly facial hair (depends on the person)
  • muscles. (I draw the line at "Did you take steroids?" sort of muscles though)
  • costumes of certain types.
  • certain kinds of music
  • corsets (and other tight-clothing sorts of bondage...a straight jacket sounds awesome)

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

As far as it being a fetish, I'm not sure. I won't mention exactly what it is, because it's just not something I'm comfortable with telling people. I do know that it is considered a fetish, I'm just not sure if that's the way I treat it. It's not something that arousing me at all on it's own, but I do find that I am able to maintain my arousal during masturbation more easily when thinking about this. (btw, this is something that is strictly fantasy only type of thing). And on top of that, there are sometimes other fetishes (and sex) that are often mixed with this that I ignore because they don't interest me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm not really into intercourse, but I do masturbate frequently. I love clothing or materials that are tight or constricting. This has led me to develop fetishes for spandex/zentai, wetsuits, and especially latex/rubber.

Also have some kinks for boots, transformation (be it anthro, dolls, or related to latex/rubber, and even the occasional trans-gender stuff).

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loser.radio

I got a thing for biting and being bitten. I also have kinks for beautiful eyes, attractive hair/playing with hair/having my hair played with, books/manga involving sexual things(specially if it involves someone being dominated), songs that are sexual/involve biting or blood/domination and tattoos/piercings. For the most part sexual arosal for me is only caused by things that involve my imagination, rarely by other people(thus why I'm here ;) ).

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I have an icecream fetish. Also, imagining myself as Supermn-like superheroes (like Dr. Manhattan) turns me on.

I had a transvestic fetish when I was a child, the fetish sort of disappeared and gender variance integrated itself into my psychology

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I have an icecream fetish. Also, imagining myself as Supermn-like superheroes (like Dr. Manhattan) turns me on.

I had a transvestic fetish when I was a child, the fetish sort of disappeared and gender variance integrated itself into my psychology

I think my obsession with being a werewolf/skin-walker may actually translate into a fetish sometimes, too. I think the thought of being so powerful is what does it. MY boyfriend thinks I may have a slight dominance issue that I have yet to acknowledge.

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Urban_Sidhe

Still on the fence with this asexual thing.

I got some kinks: Sexy accents, tall men, a perfect pair of breasts (very picky about them).

I guess it would be too much to have anyone on here with my fetish... And like ignoranceisn'tbliss, I am super uncomfortable with telling anyone. I've had it since as long as I can remember and it's also evolved slightly, it's strictly fantasy as well. I think it would be easier if I was a guy or even a lesbian but I'm not. I can't get off unless I fantasize about it.

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You've piqued our collective curiosity. When you feel comfortable, remember to let us in on the secret.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

You've piqued our collective curiosity. When you feel comfortable, remember to let us in on the secret.

Agreed. I find AVEN one of the most accepting place and it has such variety, it's maybe one of the safer places to discuss such things, if and when you feel ready. =3 :cake:

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You've piqued our collective curiosity. When you feel comfortable, remember to let us in on the secret.

Agreed. I find AVEN one of the most accepting place and it has such variety, it's maybe one of the safer places to discuss such things, if and when you feel ready. =3 :cake:

Indeed. We're not here to judge!

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Yep, I am asexual but my whole life I have had a sexual attraction towards a specific scenario. The ritualistic torture and murder of a lion. I assure you I am not joking, trolling or being intentionally stupid. This is true, for my whole life this has been the only driving thing that has motivated what sexual thoughts I've had. It's kind of why I class myself as an Asexual Sadist, it seems the most apropriate label. When I was a kid I was also semi-turned on by the crucifixion of Christ. And for a guy who's quite a devout Protestant, that caused me a great deal of confusion.

So yeah, even an Asexual can have a boatload of screwed-up sexual quirks.

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