BDSM, Kinks, and "Asexual Fetishes"

[Tomb-Stone]

I also like being commanded and threatened. I think it helps me realize how strong I am as a person.

[mitchmitch]

i was in that gray area already, then my adderall made me don't wanna have sex AT ALL, i do have a fetish, only go for blackguys..does that count?

[lilythetigerkitty]

I have a spanking fetish. :redface:

[Loviatar]

I love red hair and pale skin. Oh my gods, red haired people with white skin are the most beautiful people in this world.

[TwistedDaydream]

I have a bit of an odd thing for really over the top flirting. I mean, like, really heavy innuendo. I don't really get off on it but it makes me feel kind of .....giggly?

[WhenSummersGone]

I posted I have a hand fetish, because I'm a very sensual person, but I also like dominance as well. If a guy takes control, mostly in the bedroom, that's a turn on for me if not the actual sex part. I don't mean abusive though, just in charge. I like a bit of jealousy but not to the point where someone is controlling my life.

[Arctic Fox]

I honestly don't get this idea of having fetishes that don't turn you on; it seems like an oxymoron to me. I think I understand where you're coming from though, there are a few things that I love in a sensual way: Hugging someone, playing with someone like a cat, receiving a massage, having someone wobble their eyes at me, and looking at pictures of ocelots. All of those things just make me feel really great, but don't turn me on. But I think a fetish is about how you feel, not what you're doing, so even if you were into some really dirty stuff, it still wouldn't be a fetish unless it turns you on, in my opinion.

That's just a matter of how you define fetish. If you like, I could say I have no fetishes but enjoy engaging in bondage and masochism and pet play. :D

That honestly makes complete sense to me, yes. It's not what you do, it's how you feel. Just like sexuality is about who you're attracted to and not necessarily how you act.

If someone gets turned on by something completely random (like long tongues :P), that's a fetish, even if they don't want to actually do anything. And vice versa, if someone doesn't get turned on by something that is normally considered sexual (like BDSM), that's not a fetish, even if they do actually take part in it.

Oh course, this is all just my opinion.

Also, even though it is not sexual to me, I'd call it a kink. It may not be sexual, but it is a enjoyment of a non-typical behavior, which leads to a feeling of happiness. I'm sure if I was in any way sexual, it would be a sexual act to me. I know that taking the actual definition of kink it doesn't apply do to it being non-sexual for me. But honestly, what else would you define it as if not kink?

A hobby. :P Seriously though, with these things, I just say I like them, and if people ask me if it's sexual or not, I say no, I just like it.

[Kail]

I've always wanted to be tied up and bitten, no sex or anything, just me getting bitten alot

[cemeterywitch]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

I like vein-y wrists *__*

[Guest FlamesofFire]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

I like vein-y wrists *__*

Me too! *highfive* ^_^

[the bumbling rotifer]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

I like vein-y wrists *__*

Feel free to PM me =^.^=

Hahaha, well-placed signature :p

[cemeterywitch]

Since we're all confessing here...

I'm very dominant. I like being in charge. Just in a sensual way. No sex stuff.

It's difficult at first because your brain fights with you about it. But once you get comfortable it's a lot of fun.

It gives me this rush of energy. I can't even explain it.

[cemeterywitch]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

I like vein-y wrists *__*

Feel free to PM me =^.^=

Hahaha, well-placed signature :p

I think I missed the joke?

I've had my signature for awhile now.

[cemeterywitch]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

I like vein-y wrists *__*

Me too! *highfive* ^_^

:D

*high fives back*

I have vein-y wrists but sometimes they look extra vein-y and I'm like O__O *squee's*

[James-eu]

I have fetishes (things that turn me on either doing them, or thinking about doing them).

The greatest of these is hypnosis, particularly when it involves reinforcing my submissive tendencies towards women. I know what you mean, Cemeterywitch, about the rush – I do enjoy being psychologically dominated.

I also find handcuffs to be an incredibly erotic thing. I mean, they're nothing but moulded metal really, but they can be so dangerous. Wearing them is arousing.

Then I have what I like to call curiosities (things that I find either interesting or erotic, in a passive way – i.e. I wouldn't want to actually do them).

Predicament bondage is one of these, especially the ropework, which I find incredibly artistic and respect anyone with the patience to tie such amazing knots.

And contractual BDSM relationships – I'm interested in anything contractual/legalese anyway, and I find the concept of a submissive 'signing over' themselves to another person to be quite fascinating.

[Guest FlamesofFire]

*high fives back*

I have vein-y wrists but sometimes they look extra vein-y and I'm like O__O *squee's*

I have vein-y wrists too and at times they pop up when I hold something heavy and i go *fangirl* over myself :DDDDD.

[Arctic Fox]

I like vein-y wrists *__*

Feel free to PM me =^.^=

Hahaha, well-placed signature :P

I think I missed the joke?

I've had my signature for awhile now.

I think the joke is that because your signature is right below your post, it looks like you're asking anyone who has veiny wrists if they want to get to know you better :P

By the way, I happen to have really veiny arms and wrists.

[.Mari]

How do nonsexual BDSM relationships even work? I know someone who claims to be "masochistic in a non-sexual way."

[cemeterywitch]

I like vein-y wrists *__*

Feel free to PM me =^.^=Hahaha, well-placed signature :P

I think I missed the joke?I've had my signature for awhile now.

I think the joke is that because your signature is right below your post, it looks like you're asking anyone who has veiny wrists if they want to get to know you better :PBy the way, I happen to have really veiny arms and wrists.

Ohhhh I see xD

You shouldn't have told me that ;)

*kidnaps arctic fox*

[pegasusoftraken]

How do nonsexual BDSM relationships even work? I know someone who claims to be "masochistic in a non-sexual way."

I'm masochistic in a non-sexual way in that I enjoy being spanked, flogged, caned, bit, etc, but don't get aroused by it and when I do it, it doesn't lead to sex.

Nonsexual bdsm relationships are the same as sexual ones except that there is no sex. Very few bdsm activities actually involve genitals or having sex so there's no need to do both unless you want to.

[pegasusoftraken]

if you're a fetishist that can't get off from sex unless their certain fetish is present...

That's a very narrow definition of a fetishist, and wouldn't apply to many (most?) people who engage in or fantasize about bdsm and other stuff typically viewed as fetishes.

The motivation to engage in kinks isn't necessarily sexual even among people who aren't asexual.

[Vegito]

My gf has lotion that makes her smell like cake. Its like the vanilla bean christmas one at that one lotiony place in malls. Also I like smelling her hair.

[cemeterywitch]

My gf has lotion that makes her smell like cake. Its like the vanilla bean christmas one at that one lotiony place in malls. Also I like smelling her hair.

Bath and Body Works?

[Vegito]

Ya! >.> I haven't been to the mall in a while.

[Valex]

While not a participant,I do enjoy watching or finding out about: corprophilia,urophilia,forced feminization,needleplay,Japanese style bondage,sensory deprivation,sissy training,and torture videos. I don't find the participants attractive,as much as I receive pleasure from the act itself.

[SerketDizzleD]

I, like some other people, enjoy being dominant in such endeavors. Maybe it's my bossy power-hungry inner Scorpio trying to get out there, but regardless, I get such a great rush when I think about dominating someone, sensually or sexually. I do like being dominated sometimes but being the dominant person feels natural and much better to me, hehehe. It's more of a kink or something to help aid sexual arousal rather than an actual fetish, though.

My main fetish... ugh it's always weird to tell people :redface:

But my fetish is stomach noises. Like, someone's stomach growling when they're hungry, or gurgling while digesting a large meal. I masturbate almost EXCLUSIVELY to it. It's such a gigantic turn on and I still cannot figure out why but ohhhhhh man, rumbly tummies sure do butter my biscuits.

I also have inflation and food-stuffing fetishes as a byproduct of the stomach noise one. Combining them is... oh man.

I'm also just a chubby chaser in general. I just find people with some meat on their bones and some pudge to be so cute and attractive. My boyfriend is a bit on the chubbier side and I'd do ANYTHING so just snuggle up with him and lie on his nice soft tummy

Um... so yeah. That's me. I'm weird. Don't hate me or anthing

[cemeterywitch]

We don't judge here :)

I find it fun to chat with other dominants. I like to swap ideas and stories. If anything atleast they understand. It can be a bit confusing to others being a dominant but also asexual. I think they forget there are ways to be dominant without it being sexual or leading to sex.

[marki]

Tmi...but this is this thread so maybe not! So...this isn't really a fetish but I want to figure out what on earth female ejaculation is....it just looks so insane and I can't figure out what it is! My friends told me about squirters as a joke to spook me out but I kind of want to see it in person sometime because I don't know if I should be afraid or not! However my problem is I'm a bit sex repulsed so I want to see it without having to contribute anything to making it happen or have to actually look at girl parts which makes it hard because it comes (pun intended) from girl parts!

[comicbookfan71]

my fetish for drawing or writing on my skin has been difficult to

do with my ex. Meaning that when I just wanted his attention

on my skin, he naturally (?) was thinking it might lead to sex.

He even used it in a kind of foreplay way..

So if I could find someone to do it for me, without

continuing it to sex, then that would be AWESOME! :)

same thing here....I just loved the way it feels on me and it is fun. Almost putting trust into someone to create something on your body.

[songchick]

Yeah actually...

I have a fetish for small hairs. Namely, the little hairs that grow on bald heads, peach fuzz or stubble, doesn't matter. Or like, the little hairs on tarantulas. I think they're really really really cute.