BDSM, Kinks, and "Asexual Fetishes"

[Vuhhuur]

*Raises hand* me me me!

I do find some stuff highly enjoyable.. maybe even in form of kinky, but its not arousing me sexually, but who the fuck says it should, I can still have enormous enjoy :P .

[Mysion]

I'm stuck at a bit of an impasse with my fetishes. I'm wondering if any one else is in a similar situation or has any advice?

I have two similar fetishes. Which I've gone over in a previous post. If some wants to know with out looking back just ask.

I hate one of them and it disgusts me ever single time I act on it. However I actually like the other one, sexually as well as mentally. I would be perfectly happy to have only that one for the rest of my life.

There's a nice community built on it too oddly enough. However the fetish that I hate seems to be the far stronger of the two right now. For a brief period that enjoyable fetish was stronger, but it was not to be.

In short it's tearing me up mentally because I feel soooo close to having the one I enjoy yet nothing I do can close the gap... Why is my mind latching on the the one I find disgusting?

During the short time the other one was stronger it would leave me feeling mentally refreshed sorta warm and fuzzy inside for a short while.

I guess my main worry is a fear that it won't switch back on it's on and just stay stuck on the less desirable one. Ughh

[pegasusoftraken]

I hate one of them and it disgusts me ever single time I act on it. However I actually like the other one, sexually as well as mentally. I would be perfectly happy to have only that one for the rest of my life.

There's a nice community built on it too oddly enough. However the fetish that I hate seems to be the far stronger of the two right now.

For me, it's like I have two separate sets of kinks - those that I'm drawn too as a fantasy or idea; and those I enjoy to do in real life (and some are both).

And when I'm doing kinky stuff with people, I just treat my fetishes the same as a hobby I enjoy doing with friends. So I find that it doesn't really matter what my mind is desiring kink-wise, I can still get enjoyment out of the fetishes I like doing.

My advice would be to focus on pursuing the one you enjoy. And maybe your feelings for it will switch back to being stronger, or you might find you still enjoy doing it regardless.

[cemeterywitch]

I've figured out I for sure love biting. I can do it for hours.

I also like kittenplay. I have yet to get a collar though. I have cat ears :3

Scratching is fun too :D

I like sitting on stomachs.

I think there might be more for me to discover that I like.

[zeesfo]

Hybristophilia... I'm really attracted to serial killers :l

[Dawn Marie]

I think I posted in here before. I don't remember. But, at any rate. I really like having my throat restricted. So like if I'm kissing someone and they hold me down by my throat, I love it. I think it's more of a trust thing. Like, I know they won't actually hurt me so I'm completely safe and having that trust is pretty intimate.

[qlimax7749]

i am a male and i like the same thing as dawn marie,i enjoy the feeling of a ladies hands around my neck,but also the shape of the thumbs as in my profile pic is just amazing.

[King Hippiedude]

I can't imagine myself actually acting out any of these scenes, but I like reading BDSM porn (particularly in the form of explicit fanfiction). I particularly like the D/s and bondage/discipline parts. I have mixed feelings about sadomasochism because I definitely don't like blood play. I also kinda like watersports (but not golden showers or anything where urine is consumed) and diapers, but I don't like scat.

Also, I love accents. Especially British ones.

[Arctic Fox]

Also, I love accents. Especially British ones.

Haha, for some reason I thought that said "accidents". I was like: What?? You have a fetish for British accidents???

[alpacaterpillar]

Thinking further about mine, I think it could be more accurately described as a fetish for... disruptions to women's clothing?

[Vuhhuur]

Oh what a bunch we are. Had no idea there would be so much aces having some fetish/kink too. But close to none seemed not to answer Superteeths question about form of what does your kink/fetish be. I am very interested to hear others thoughts about that subject, so Ill post the question message and some of the answers, including mine, below:

superteeth, on 02 Sept 2013 - 08:44 AM, said:

"this thread has been going on for some time, so i'm assuming someone has mentioned it but: are there others on here who like kinky things but in a non-sexual way? by this, i mean not being turned on by something normally considered kinky. just, well, liking it. (i say this because i am one of those people with really strange interests that don't turn out to be sexual at all lol.)"

-pegaus-, on 02 September 2013 - 01:00 PM, said:

"Kinky stuff doesn't have to be sexual at all. And there's nothing wrong with liking it without it turning you on.
When I do bdsm stuff, I don't find it arousing or sexual in the slightest, but I still love doing it! I also know sexual people, who don't always find it arousing, but still enjoy it for other reasons."

Vuh, on 02 September 2013 - 08:49 PM, said:

"*Raises hand* me me me!

I do find some stuff highly enjoyable.. maybe even in form of kinky, but its not arousing me sexually, but who the fuck says it should, I can still have enormous enjoy :P ."

[Jubbles]

What I'm thinking about fetish (my own, of course) I think about the sensual aspect of it. Maybe my partner can get aroused, it's "natural" to be and a response to the caress and all that jazz, but when I do it I completely disregard the supposed sexual aspect of it! I know it exists, I can understand it's appearance, but really, I don't think that BDSM can only be linked to sex.

The sensuous part is much much more important to me.

[Dawn Marie]

What I'm thinking about fetish (my own, of course) I think about the sensual aspect of it. Maybe my partner can get aroused, it's "natural" to be and a response to the caress and all that jazz, but when I do it I completely disregard the supposed sexual aspect of it! I know it exists, I can understand it's appearance, but really, I don't think that BDSM can only be linked to sex.

The sensuous part is much much more important to me.

I agree. I feel like D/s relationships can be sensual, intimate, and a practice in trust.

[Arctic Fox]

I honestly don't get this idea of having fetishes that don't turn you on; it seems like an oxymoron to me. I think I understand where you're coming from though, there are a few things that I love in a sensual way: Hugging someone, playing with someone like a cat, receiving a massage, having someone wobble their eyes at me, and looking at pictures of ocelots. All of those things just make me feel really great, but don't turn me on. But I think a fetish is about how you feel, not what you're doing, so even if you were into some really dirty stuff, it still wouldn't be a fetish unless it turns you on, in my opinion.

[Guest FlamesofFire]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

[Jubbles]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

[pegasusoftraken]

I honestly don't get this idea of having fetishes that don't turn you on; it seems like an oxymoron to me. I think I understand where you're coming from though, there are a few things that I love in a sensual way: Hugging someone, playing with someone like a cat, receiving a massage, having someone wobble their eyes at me, and looking at pictures of ocelots. All of those things just make me feel really great, but don't turn me on. But I think a fetish is about how you feel, not what you're doing, so even if you were into some really dirty stuff, it still wouldn't be a fetish unless it turns you on, in my opinion.

That's just a matter of how you define fetish. If you like, I could say I have no fetishes but enjoy engaging in bondage and masochism and pet play. :D

[Guest FlamesofFire]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

You have to be kidding me :DDDD I literally thought I was alone XD. Whenever I mention it people just stare at me lol. I am glad the people I dated didn't mind me tracing the veins on their hands.

Well I am heteroromantic that's why I like guys veins.

Female once don't "do much" for me.

[Jubbles]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

You have to be kidding me :DDDD I literally thought I was alone XD. Whenever I mention it people just stare at me lol. I am glad the people I dated didn't mind me tracing the veins on their hands.

Well I am heteroromantic that's why I like guys veins.

Female once don't "do much" for me.

Hahahahahahaha

Seriously, I literally have to ask permission once from my friends so I can touch their veins unbounded (yeah, they keep staring at me like I'm an alien, but hey, veins!!! *-*)

I try to be discreet at first, so they usually don't realize first :D I'm hetero too, but don't mind really girls' veins, but it's only the veins on that aspect.

Yay! Nice to meet you :P

[Guest FlamesofFire]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

You have to be kidding me :DDDD I literally thought I was alone XD. Whenever I mention it people just stare at me lol. I am glad the people I dated didn't mind me tracing the veins on their hands.

Well I am heteroromantic that's why I like guys veins.

Female once don't "do much" for me.

Hahahahahahaha

Seriously, I literally have to ask permission once from my friends so I can touch their veins unbounded (yeah, they keep staring at me like I'm an alien, but hey, veins!!! *-*)

I try to be discreet at first, so they usually don't realize first :D I'm hetero too, but don't mind really girls' veins, but it's only the veins on that aspect.

Yay! Nice to meet you :P

Ahahaha nice to meet you too this is awesome XD.

Fellow vein appreciator.

Ahaha I introduced this thing called touching the wrists to my bff, she liked it :D.

I was enjoying touching hers, they pop out and it makes it so exciting.

I am also very discreet first on dates and then I compliment them on something else and get to the veins ahaha.

[Jubbles]

Guys veins and peoples voices/accents!

I can develop a crush on someone because of how they sound.

I knew I wasn't alone with the vein things!!! But I like female's too, I like veins period.

You have to be kidding me :DDDD I literally thought I was alone XD. Whenever I mention it people just stare at me lol. I am glad the people I dated didn't mind me tracing the veins on their hands.

Well I am heteroromantic that's why I like guys veins.

Female once don't "do much" for me.

Hahahahahahaha

Seriously, I literally have to ask permission once from my friends so I can touch their veins unbounded (yeah, they keep staring at me like I'm an alien, but hey, veins!!! *-*)

I try to be discreet at first, so they usually don't realize first :D I'm hetero too, but don't mind really girls' veins, but it's only the veins on that aspect.

Yay! Nice to meet you :P

Ahahaha nice to meet you too this is awesome XD.

Fellow vein appreciator.

Ahaha I introduced this thing called touching the wrists to my bff, she liked it :D.

I was enjoying touching hers, they pop out and it makes it so exciting.

I am also very discreet first on dates and then I compliment them on something else and get to the veins ahaha.

OMG! I'm really not alone!!! xDDD Complimenting it's always a great first move ;) Veins appreciators should be united!!!

I have a friend, she's so pale, so pale that her veins simply look like ink on her, and she has strong pulses on her forearm, so yes, she got used to it (thank goodness). Oh! Who cares about holding hands? Let me touch your veins first, shall we?

[Guest FlamesofFire]

I have a friend, she's so pale, so pale that her veins simply look like ink on her, and she has strong pulses on her forearm, so yes, she got used to it (thank goodness). Oh! Who cares about holding hands? Let me touch your veins first, shall we?

Ohhhhh that just made me feel goosebumps, her veins sound amazing.

I totally like the pale skin and the veins looking like ink! I had a friend, she injected drugs in her veins which is horrible however her veins were super popped and it looked weeeehhhh ^_^. Ahahaha I like holding hands and touching the veins at the same time .

Veins appreciators united ftw!

[Jubbles]

I have a friend, she's so pale, so pale that her veins simply look like ink on her, and she has strong pulses on her forearm, so yes, she got used to it (thank goodness). Oh! Who cares about holding hands? Let me touch your veins first, shall we?

Ohhhhh that just made me feel goosebumps, her veins sound amazing.

I totally like the pale skin and the veins looking like ink! I had a friend, she injected drugs in her veins which is horrible however her veins were super popped and it looked weeeehhhh ^_^. Ahahaha I like holding hands and touching the veins at the same time .

Veins appreciators united ftw!

OH!!! Popping veins :SS me like it, didn't like the drug parts, but yeah, totally see where you are on this. Haha, I can't hold hands properly if there isn't a vein, it doesn't make sense to me

United we're stronger! o/

[Guest FlamesofFire]

OH!!! Popping veins :SS me like it, didn't like the drug parts, but yeah, totally see where you are on this. Haha, I can't hold hands properly if there isn't a vein, it doesn't make sense to me

United we're stronger! o/

I feel the same I have to feel their veins against my skin when we hold hands .

Open up a sub-forum for vein lovers lol \o/.

[the bumbling rotifer]

Porn for Jubbles:

I have an artery really close to the surface between the thumb and forefinger of my right hand. I can get a pulse there really easily.

[Jubbles]

Porn for Jubbles:

I have an artery really close to the surface between the thumb and forefinger of my right hand. I can get a pulse there really easily.

hahahaha, bumbling!! How are you, dearest soulmate? :P

[the bumbling rotifer]

I'm good thank you my love.

To stay in line with the topic of this thread, if you tie me up I'll let you look at all of my veins ;)

Wow, that came out a bit randier than I intended

[Jubbles]

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I think this thread is becoming a little to personal! But that's a possibility

[Rochnariel]

this thread has been going on for some time, so i'm assuming someone has mentioned it but: are there others on here who like kinky things but in a non-sexual way? by this, i mean not being turned on by something normally considered kinky. just, well, liking it. (i say this because i am one of those people with really strange interests that don't turn out to be sexual at all lol.)

I don't get turned on by my kink and don't see it as sexual when I put myself in the picture. Otherwise, yeah, I'd say it is sexual. Lets see if I can explain this in one shot rather than the three or four it took me on fetlife. I'm submissive and really enjoy bondage and sensation play, including pain.

Show me a scene of two random people, one tied up (yes, I have a thing for rope :) ), the other dripping hot wax other their body. Ask me if this is sexual, and I'd say yes. I'd preface it with it being other things as well, but I'd see it as sexual and assume that it is most likely going to lead to some sort of sex eventually.

Take the same scene and put me in the ropes and I'd no longer say it is sexual, and it is not going to be leading to sex. Because this doesn't turn me on, personally. At that point, I'd say its about trust, intimacy, power play, etc.; not about sex. I enjoy it immensely, so long as I trust the Dom. I love the endorphins and being taken out of my head, but I am in no way turned on by it.

Also, even though it is not sexual to me, I'd call it a kink. It may not be sexual, but it is a enjoyment of a non-typical behavior, which leads to a feeling of happiness. I'm sure if I was in any way sexual, it would be a sexual act to me. I know that taking the actual definition of kink it doesn't apply do to it being non-sexual for me. But honestly, what else would you define it as if not kink?

[Tomb-Stone]

I'm addicted to guys with hairy chests. Lord knows I don't want sex but it's nice to snuggle into.