BDSM, Kinks, and "Asexual Fetishes"

[pegasusoftraken]

Is there such a thing as non-sexual kinks? Does anyone have one?

I regard most my bdsm kinks as non-sexual in as much I don't experience any sexual arousal whilst doing them, and don't tend to mix them with sex or genital stuff. And the only kink I'm curious about that involves a sexual scenario, I'm not certain I'd actually want to try.

I get other stuff out of kink than sexual pleasure like intimacy, relaxing, feeling safe and free of worries, endorpines, feeling empowered etc.

I also have sexual friends who don't describe their kinks in terms of feeling sexual for them, and do it for similar reasons as me. (though I know many more sexuals who do see it as inherently sexual for them)

Though having said that, it does mean how I feel when engaging in my kinks is pretty similar to when I'm doing some non-kinky things.

[Person7638]

What do you mean by 'asexual kink'? Like something that you like a lot in other people or something you'd like people to do to you?

If so, I love pale, skinny, long fingers, and people never take me seriously when I say I wouldn't want such fingers...inside me... And also having someone stroke my hair is the best feeling in the world.

[gemmi999]

So, I totally dig fictional stories about power imbalance/authoritarian play and impact play. No desire at all to do it, but stories about it--they are definitely my favorite cup of tea.

[Person7638]

So, I totally dig fictional stories about power imbalance/authoritarian play and impact play. No desire at all to do it, but stories about it--they are definitely my favorite cup of tea.

May I ask why? I mean, what exactly do you like about them?

[JDP]

You mean like the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy?

Now that was hot.

[marilynia]

This thing is sometimes more of a fetish because for the last 10 years it has been the

only way my boyfriend could make me relax enough to have sex -

writing or drawing on my back with fingers or with a pen.

I go all mushy when someone draws on me!

Is that common..?

That writing/drawing thing is also the reason I have big tattoos, I am a bit obsessed about having

tattoos now, because I feel I need that spesific contact on my skin...

Anyone else?

[pegasusoftraken]

I like body art as well, though think it's just a part of me liking sensual contact with friends or partners in general. And there is a trust thing as well that the person isn't going to write or draw something obscene on me.

Have you tried being finger painted on with body paint? That feels really nice - more direct contact :p

[panda_bunny]

I've already posted here about my omorashi fetish, but I've recently realized I'm also a Little (adult baby) and a diaper lover as well. I find the idea of wearing and wetting diapers sexually arousing (although I wouldnt want to mess in them) and i also like the idea of being taken care of by someone like a small child.

I feel so wierd because of it. Is there by any chance any other asexuals here who have a thing for omorashi? or are ABDL?

[panda_bunny]

My major fetish, or one of them, is ageplay.

A lot of people misunderstand ageplay. It gets conflated into paedophilia and other unpleasant things. People assume that it is sexual play involving child 'characters' - which it really, really isn't! For me, it's a completely non-sexual kink. I actually find it really sweet. Everyone involved is of legal age, even though there's no sex involved.

It's really a subset of D/s play. The scene is simply based around this one particular aspect of D/s, namely caring for someone who is smaller and more vulnerable than you. It's about being in an innocent, sweet relationship with someone who is cute, and small, and snuggleable, and adorable; treating them as precious and valued and loved; teaching them and letting them play and learn. Some people prefer to frame this in the context of a parent/child relationship, I actually don't. I'd rather be called a grown-up than a parent in a scene. Incestuous romance doesn't do it for me!

I think I have explained this really badly, but I just wanted to put it out there.

I just noticed this post after skimming through this thread again. So maybe I'm not the only asexual who enjoys age play, though (Emily correct me if I'm wrong) its seems that we enjoy different sides of it. I like being the baby or small child where as you seem to like being the parent figure.

[DersEvvak]

I guess I'll go ahead and post here. I can probably put all of my "kinks" into 3 groups.

Aesthetic factors:

• Short, chubby bodies - so perfect for cuddling!
• Brightly-colored hair
• Loose-fitting clothing, things that tend to obscure what's underneath
• Scents - being around someone who has just bathed or showered with fruit-scented soap is always nice

Activity-based factors:

• Artistically-talented people. Visual artists, musicians, stage actors, those sorts of things.
• Ageplay. This one's been brought up already (just before this post, in fact). I absolutely love the idea of spending a day with someone, sitting on the floor in our footie pajamas, doing things like coloring or playing with Legos. Having a "little" partner to lovingly care for, as described in Emily Moore's earlier post, would be amazing too. I'm not particularly interested in being on the "little" side of it myself, though.

And, the one thing that can actually arouse me (yeah, I'm hiding this one):

Diapers. I do like wearing and using them myself, but I generally only do so when I'm going to bed. Once in awhile I might wear one under my clothes around the house. I don't do anything with it away from home. I also love the idea of having a partner wear them, changing them as needed, and so forth. I'm not really into the "adult baby" stuff, my interest in ageplay described above generally targets an imagined age of around 4 to 7. Of course, it seems out-of-place for someone pretending to be that age to still need diapers, but it's basicly two separate kinks that just happen to be somewhat related.

Indulging in this can arouse me, but it still doesn't lead to any desire for sex. I have seen some "diaper porn" that involves sex acts, and it's just as repulsive to me as other depictions of it, if not more so.

I don't go to extraordinary lengths to hide this, but I don't actively promote it everywhere I go either. Seeing rainbow_panda's post above kinda motivated me to say something here, though.

[marilynia]

I like body art as well, though think it's just a part of me liking sensual contact with friends or partners in general. And there is a trust thing as well that the person isn't going to write or draw something obscene on me.

Have you tried being finger painted on with body paint? That feels really nice - more direct contact :P

I haven't tried body paint, only because I don't know anyone who might be willing to paint me :D

I don't really mind who draws on me, so it has been a nice thrill for me even to get tattoos...

(hours and hours of someone consentrating on my skin...ahhh)

I don't really even mind what they are drawing on me, I mean I wouldn't want something nasty

for a tattoo :D but if it's something I can wash off then I don't mind what it is... if it's nice, not if it's mean ;)

[panda_bunny]

I guess I'll go ahead and post here. I can probably put all of my "kinks" into 3 groups.

Aesthetic factors:

• Short, chubby bodies - so perfect for cuddling!
• Brightly-colored hair
• Loose-fitting clothing, things that tend to obscure what's underneath
• Scents - being around someone who has just bathed or showered with fruit-scented soap is always nice

Activity-based factors:

• Artistically-talented people. Visual artists, musicians, stage actors, those sorts of things.
• Ageplay. This one's been brought up already (just before this post, in fact). I absolutely love the idea of spending a day with someone, sitting on the floor in our footie pajamas, doing things like coloring or playing with Legos. Having a "little" partner to lovingly care for, as described in Emily Moore's earlier post, would be amazing too. I'm not particularly interested in being on the "little" side of it myself, though.

And, the one thing that can actually arouse me (yeah, I'm hiding this one):

Diapers. I do like wearing and using them myself, but I generally only do so when I'm going to bed. Once in awhile I might wear one under my clothes around the house. I don't do anything with it away from home. I also love the idea of having a partner wear them, changing them as needed, and so forth. I'm not really into the "adult baby" stuff, my interest in ageplay described above generally targets an imagined age of around 4 to 7. Of course, it seems out-of-place for someone pretending to be that age to still need diapers, but it's basicly two separate kinks that just happen to be somewhat related.

Indulging in this can arouse me, but it still doesn't lead to any desire for sex. I have seen some "diaper porn" that involves sex acts, and it's just as repulsive to me as other depictions of it, if not more so.

I don't go to extraordinary lengths to hide this, but I don't actively promote it everywhere I go either. Seeing rainbow_panda's post above kinda motivated me to say something here, though.

I'm glad I'm not the only diaper lover on here. I'm the same way in that my fetishes arouse me but i don't have any desire to have sex when aroused. I just sort of get enjoyment out of the feeling of arousal itself and for the longest time i didnt realize i had fetishes because i didnt recognize that the pleasant feeling i was experiencing was sexual. I don't like diaper porn that involves sex acts either. Sex itself just isnt appealing to me at all.

[swim2thesun]

I've always been sort of interested in S&M type things and other fetishized things but never really thought about the action upon it because for most people its seen as a sexual thing while for me i don't think it would be. I'm also not really a 'dating' or 'coupling' type of person and i know i'd never be comfortable with a random person, no matter how experienced they were.

Maybe I'll see later on in my life but for now it ain't looking like it.

[Tea.EarlGrey.Hot]

I've got this weird creating/crafting/diy fetish. I don't even know. I usually get aroused when I watch people drawing or making something with their hands. I watched some crappy 30 minute video of some nerd working with buckyballs because it entranced me for some reason.

And then there are deep/sexy voices. But that's pretty much a universal fetish, isn't it? Lol

[TurtleRage]

• Ageplay. This one's been brought up already (just before this post, in fact). I absolutely love the idea of spending a day with someone, sitting on the floor in our footie pajamas, doing things like coloring or playing with Legos. Having a "little" partner to lovingly care for, as described in Emily Moore's earlier post, would be amazing too. I'm not particularly interested in being on the "little" side of it myself, though.

I don't have any kinks or fetishes that come to mind, but I thought this idea was really cute. lol

[Dimitra_Blud]

Vore, gore, and vampirism.

[Rochnariel]

So something like this was posted in one of the ace groups on FetLife and I thought it would interesting to talk about in here as well.

Basically, how does your kinks line up with your ace-ness? How do you explore them? How do they get in the way of each other?

[weylyntala]

Note before I list them: None of these are sexual to me, just thoroughly enjoyable and drive me crazy.

Diapers. I do like wearing and using them myself, but I generally only do so when I'm going to bed. Once in awhile I might wear one under my clothes around the house. I don't do anything with it away from home. I also love the idea of having a partner wear them, changing them as needed, and so forth. I'm not really into the "adult baby" stuff, my interest in ageplay described above generally targets an imagined age of around 4 to 7. Of course, it seems out-of-place for someone pretending to be that age to still need diapers, but it's basicly two separate kinks that just happen to be somewhat related.

Indulging in this can arouse me, but it still doesn't lead to any desire for sex. I have seen some "diaper porn" that involves sex acts, and it's just as repulsive to me as other depictions of it, if not more so.

I have to agree completely with you here (except much more often). And for me, they are more comfortable than "normal" underwear. (Cloth all the way)

I also love being pet/"scritches". I just melt when someone does that to me, and it actually will lull me to sleep if performed on my head.

Being pinned by someone stronger (as long as we know each others boundaries)

Scottish accents <3

Hypnosis (receiving end), as I love the feeling of allowing someone else control over me as well as my actions.

Collars and leashes (wearing). Again, it is a matter of comfort as well as someone else having control.

Nibbling of my ears

Wow, almost all of them revolve around being submissive...

:blush:

[DersEvvak]

Wow, almost all of them revolve around being submissive...

:blush:

Subs have all the fun! That's hardly a new fact... :D

[marilynia]

my fetish for drawing or writing on my skin has been difficult to

do with my ex. Meaning that when I just wanted his attention

on my skin, he naturally (?) was thinking it might lead to sex.

He even used it in a kind of foreplay way..

So if I could find someone to do it for me, without

continuing it to sex, then that would be AWESOME! :)

[Ein]

Yeah I like hardcore, violent sex.

[pegasusoftraken]

So something like this was posted in one of the ace groups on FetLife and I thought it would interesting to talk about in here as well.

Basically, how does your kinks line up with your ace-ness? How do you explore them? How do they get in the way of each other?

Aside from most kinky people I know, preferring to do sexual stuff in addition to kinky stuff whilst playing, my kinks don't really get in the way of me being ace. Though I do tend towards more club play than private play, where sex isn't allowed (and doesn't usually happen), so that's how I go about getting non-sexual play.

And I think my kinks are just an extension of my (a)sexuality and personality, so in that sense they don't conflict. I'm very sensual if not sexual, so that carries over into what kinks I like (petplay and pretty much anything sensation based). And I've a passive personality so that carries over into liking play partners to have control in a scene (though I have curiosities topping as well, which I've no idea where they come from!) I think my kinks are just me exploring being myself and my instincts, without all the constraints and pressures that come with 'nilla interactions to be intimate or relate in a "normal" way.

[highcakedrive]

I needed to post my fetish somewhere. I have a massive thing for glasses and sweaters(think cute librarian look). If I ever have sex (unlikely) I hope the clothes can stay on. (love stockings too).

[Vuhhuur]

So something like this was posted in one of the ace groups on FetLife and I thought it would interesting to talk about in here as well.

Basically, how does your kinks line up with your ace-ness? How do you explore them? How do they get in the way of each other?

Hmm, how to explain this... Im not a frigid but I am not masturbating either (infact Ive come to conclusion that my non-sexual interests may over run such need). And this, I think, wraps it quite well around asexuality. What happens with body is far less intriguiding to me that what happens in my mind when, well, enjoying certain things - and not touching body to create such state is something I find much more satisfying than I maybe could ever find by stimulating certain body part.

[Plus]

I have a fettish for flow charts and cake. If their was a flow chart about it would be amazing

[konekokagai]

Don't know if something you haven't...put into practice...counts, but BDSM has fascinated me for well over a decade.

[A bit]

High heels. And restraint, so Bondage or Dominance/submission (physical and mental).

[Arctic Fox]

I have a fettish for flow charts and cake. If their was a flow chart about [cake,] it would be amazing

Enjoy!

[superteeth]

this thread has been going on for some time, so i'm assuming someone has mentioned it but: are there others on here who like kinky things but in a non-sexual way? by this, i mean not being turned on by something normally considered kinky. just, well, liking it. (i say this because i am one of those people with really strange interests that don't turn out to be sexual at all lol.)

[pegasusoftraken]

this thread has been going on for some time, so i'm assuming someone has mentioned it but: are there others on here who like kinky things but in a non-sexual way? by this, i mean not being turned on by something normally considered kinky. just, well, liking it. (i say this because i am one of those people with really strange interests that don't turn out to be sexual at all lol.)

Kinky stuff doesn't have to be sexual at all. And there's nothing wrong with liking it without it turning you on.

When I do bdsm stuff, I don't find it arousing or sexual in the slightest, but I still love doing it! I also know sexual people, who don't always find it arousing, but still enjoy it for other reasons.