BDSM, Kinks, and "Asexual Fetishes"

[Someone Else]

Many sexuals are very, very much after an orgasm, and couldn't give two shits about intimacy. ;) Some want one, or both.

[Emily Moore]

My major fetish, or one of them, is ageplay.

A lot of people misunderstand ageplay. It gets conflated into paedophilia and other unpleasant things. People assume that it is sexual play involving child 'characters' - which it really, really isn't! For me, it's a completely non-sexual kink. I actually find it really sweet. Everyone involved is of legal age, even though there's no sex involved.

It's really a subset of D/s play. The scene is simply based around this one particular aspect of D/s, namely caring for someone who is smaller and more vulnerable than you. It's about being in an innocent, sweet relationship with someone who is cute, and small, and snuggleable, and adorable; treating them as precious and valued and loved; teaching them and letting them play and learn. Some people prefer to frame this in the context of a parent/child relationship, I actually don't. I'd rather be called a grown-up than a parent in a scene. Incestuous romance doesn't do it for me!

I think I have explained this really badly, but I just wanted to put it out there.

[aaazzz]

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[thepennydrops]

(Ohhh Autosaved content I love you! for whichever magic person put you here! I just accidentally refreshed after 20mins of typing and was about to abandon my post and go to bed when I spotted that amazing little button)

I have a hair fetish and a kink for being bitten (gently!).

It's a big frustration for me and probably the reason it's taken me so long to realise I'm asexual - the pain I could have saved myself if I'd only known sooner. I recognise now that I am sex-repulsed and the urges I had with boyfriends were all to do with the fetish, not the boyfriend. I came to terms with my fetish a long while back but could never understand why it was never a strong enough stimulus to satisfy me with my ex, who also shared the fetish.

I've explored my hair fetish quite a bit and reached the conclusion it's much simpler to use as an aid during my alone time. Playing out fantasies never lives up to expectation and causes a lot of unforeseen trouble beside. That said, if I managed to find a partner who could accept my fetish without being involved in it, and the fact I have no interest in sex, it would make a relationship much more straightforward although I'm not sure I think a relationship is worth the bother again yet. I joined the asexual forums on fetlife but don't really expect anything to come of it. The big offputting factor for me on Fetlife are all the graphic images that come up in the ads at the sides of the page! (anyone perchance know how to block these?)

It does sort of give me hope that several others here have a hair fetish too. Maybe it's not such a slim chance as I thought to find a compatible partner :)

[Ivory]

I'm not 100% sure what the definition of a 'fetish' is, but I really seem to have a thing for duality and transformation, especially ones involving fictional characters. The more troubled the character, the better. It's more of a fantasy because these people aren't real, but I really get turned on by the notion of someone struggling against something they can't control. I think it's the notion of helplessness that does it for me, but whatever the reason, it never fails to get me excited. I also have a fetish for men with soft, more feminine voices. It's just soothing, and... ^_^ Biting is another one. Not too hard, but a few soft nips here and there.

...I've never, ever shared that with anyone before and now I'm posting it on a forum... I hope this wasn't too weird of a post!

[Sarcastic Bob]

I've explored my hair fetish quite a bit and reached the conclusion it's much simpler to use as an aid during my alone time. Playing out fantasies never lives up to expectation and causes a lot of unforeseen trouble beside. That said, if I managed to find a partner who could accept my fetish without being involved in it, and the fact I have no interest in sex, it would make a relationship much more straightforward although I'm not sure I think a relationship is worth the bother again yet. I joined the asexual forums on fetlife but don't really expect anything to come of it. The big offputting factor for me on Fetlife are all the graphic images that come up in the ads at the sides of the page! (anyone perchance know how to block these?)

Adblock plus (an extension for Chrome and Firefox) should take care of that. If it doesn't, then you can set a certain advert provider to be blacklisted by right clicking on the image.

[Grammaticat]

Fur. Silks and other smooth sheen fabrics...... Bondage to an extent and a woman dominating and humiliating me. Big fan of Pain and power play. Picky with my partner.

Wait is this TMI?

>,,>

LIIIAAAAA!!!!

[heart_of_scars]

I'm a bit confused, does having a 'thing', for particular accents a fetish? Personally I consider certain accents a turn on, but it might not be a fetish? It's certainly not something like a foot fetish. Can someone please clarify for me, if its not too much trouble?

[Someone Else]

This has gotten me thinking more and more about my own possible attractions. I wonder if it's possible to be attracted to fetishes -- I mean, when asexuals have fetishes that I would normally associate with sex (but here they aren't usually) -- I find that alluring in an asexual way, even if I don't personally share those fetishes myself.

[comicbookfan71]

This is a very interesting topic actually. One that I have thought about for years actually. I have a few kinks / fetish myself. I love body art...with it being tattoo's, body painting, or even just drawing on someone. Not sure why...but something about interest me and I have always been into it. Past partners have all taken part in it because it was something they had fun with as well. I think some confused it with foreplay which really wasn't what it was for me. It was more relaxing and a great stress relief for me. It was fun laying around in the afternoon doodling on each other with markers or painting each other up as stuff. Nothing really deviant about it or anything...just more fun than anything else.

[Jubbles]

This is a very interesting topic actually. One that I have thought about for years actually. I have a few kinks / fetish myself. I love body art...with it being tattoo's, body painting, or even just drawing on someone. Not sure why...but something about interest me and I have always been into it. Past partners have all taken part in it because it was something they had fun with as well. I think some confused it with foreplay which really wasn't what it was for me. It was more relaxing and a great stress relief for me. It was fun laying around in the afternoon doodling on each other with markers or painting each other up as stuff. Nothing really deviant about it or anything...just more fun than anything else.

I like tattoo, a lot. But there is something especial about designs in someone's body... This reminds me of The Pillow Book, an awesome movie that depicts this model that writes the most amazing book of love on her lover's body. Really great movie, here's the link with the summary: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114134/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl

[Thumbelina]

Being tied up, bitten, patronized....doesn't arise me in a sexual way, but boy is it exciting!

[Thumbelina]

Something a bit out of the box popped to my mind out of sheer curiosity!

Have you heard of rule 34? It says ,,If something, anythings exists, someone has masturbated to it."

The first time I heard about it I was like "No way! What, for instance this table we're sitting at?"These napkins? Plants???" And the people around me confirmed, saying there's a sick world around us.

So, my thoughts are, if a person is attracted to objects and cartoon characters that are unmarked for gender...they don't really experience sexual attraction to men NOR women....does that make them asexual? What does it make them? :)

[comicbookfan71]

This is a very interesting topic actually. One that I have thought about for years actually. I have a few kinks / fetish myself. I love body art...with it being tattoo's, body painting, or even just drawing on someone. Not sure why...but something about interest me and I have always been into it. Past partners have all taken part in it because it was something they had fun with as well. I think some confused it with foreplay which really wasn't what it was for me. It was more relaxing and a great stress relief for me. It was fun laying around in the afternoon doodling on each other with markers or painting each other up as stuff. Nothing really deviant about it or anything...just more fun than anything else.

I like tattoo, a lot. But there is something especial about designs in someone's body... This reminds me of The Pillow Book, an awesome movie that depicts this model that writes the most amazing book of love on her lover's body. Really great movie, here's the link with the summary: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114134/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl

Seen it. Very interesting movie.

[Arctic Fox]

Something a bit out of the box popped to my mind out of sheer curiosity!

Have you heard of rule 34? It says ,,If something, anythings exists, someone has masturbated to it."

The first time I heard about it I was like "No way! What, for instance this table we're sitting at?"These napkins? Plants???" And the people around me confirmed, saying there's a sick world around us.

So, my thoughts are, if a person is attracted to objects and cartoon characters that are unmarked for gender...they don't really experience sexual attraction to men NOR women....does that make them asexual? What does it make them? :)

I think this was the old definition of a fetishist: Not someone who was aroused by objects, but someone who was aroused only by objects. But yeah, I would say someone is asexual if they are not attracted to humans.

[Thumbelina]

Something a bit out of the box popped to my mind out of sheer curiosity!

Have you heard of rule 34? It says ,,If something, anythings exists, someone has masturbated to it."

The first time I heard about it I was like "No way! What, for instance this table we're sitting at?"These napkins? Plants???" And the people around me confirmed, saying there's a sick world around us.

So, my thoughts are, if a person is attracted to objects and cartoon characters that are unmarked for gender...they don't really experience sexual attraction to men NOR women....does that make them asexual? What does it make them? :)

I think this was the old definition of a fetishist: Not someone who was aroused by objects, but someone who was aroused only by objects. But yeah, I would say someone is asexual if they are not attracted to humans.

Such an interesting view....btw, I'm not sure if I'm asexual....in which forum or subforum can I ask about that?

[Arctic Fox]

Such an interesting view....btw, I'm not sure if I'm asexual....in which forum or subforum can I ask about that?

Here, in Asexual Q&A. Be careful not to phrase it as "Am I asexual?" though, or Arca will kill you :P

[Thumbelina]

Thumbelina, on 05 Aug 2013 - 11:05 PM, said:

Such an interesting view....btw, I'm not sure if I'm asexual....in which forum or subforum can I ask about that?

Here, in Asexual Q&A. Be careful not to phrase it as "Am I asexual?" though, or Arca will kill you

Ok, I'll paraphrase and ask....don't tell Arca. ;-)

[actually_asexual]

Why are asexuals more sexual, then a sexual? I thought I belonged here. Dear god.

I thought a fetish was an inanimate object which held a spirit!

[Someone Else]

I don't recall anyone here claiming to like sex. One thing you'll find here is that everyone is at least a little different, and belonging isn't always about being exactly like everyone else, it's just that if you're looking for people who don't like, or don't seek out or desire genital interactions, then you'll find them here... lots and lots of them.
And I only recently heard that fetish could have a spiritual connotation! Heh.

[Misbegot]

I would not call it a fetish, but there's something about skirts on people with feminine mannerisms (I was going to say women but my squish (male) wears a skirt sometimes and it is agldja) that I find absolutely gorgeous.

[Jubbles]

Just remembered another quirk: rings. Rings on the fingers, that makes me want to touch the person's hands, on the feet and I always watch where they going and lip rings (the spider's bite ones, on the corner of the mouth), some people can really use them.

[Auren L.]

Uhm, yes. I'm deeply in love with BDSM - it's deeply entrenched in my romantic life. So long as it doesn't involve any form of eroticism, of course.

[Arcovia]

Is there such a thing as non-sexual kinks? Does anyone have one?

Why are asexuals more sexual, then a sexual? I thought I belonged here. Dear god.

I thought a fetish was an inanimate object which held a spirit!

that definition of fetish is also correct. It's just another one of those words that has multiple meanings. Also, some people here have explicitly stated that their fetish isn't sexual, so I don't quite get your first comment.

[Nonineko]

I don't have any fetishes, but I do have a major kink that my roommate loves to tease me about, and that's Pet Play (Pony Play, Puppy Play, Kitty Play, etc). Basically, a form of roleplaying where one person behaves like an animal, while another person takes care of them. For me I consider it an entirely non-sexual kink, although I know that some people do sexualise it. It's pretendy fun time where I get to shut off the nagging/worrying/human part of my brain, and just focus on playing.

I also have a thing for voices and accents, which is a much more common kink, I think.

[Vuhhuur]

Is there such a thing as non-sexual kinks? Does anyone have one?

Why are asexuals more sexual, then a sexual? I thought I belonged here. Dear god.

I thought a fetish was an inanimate object which held a spirit!

that definition of fetish is also correct. It's just another one of those words that has multiple meanings. Also, some people here have explicitly stated that their fetish isn't sexual, so I don't quite get your first comment.

Arcovia - I think I have a non-sexual fetish/kink/whatever. It is not that I get aroused by it, more likely I never get bored to hear something which I would consider case of endless crawing and even, yes, attraction of some level towards to this erm, fascination of mine.. But the attraction isnt sexual related (sure those are common to link to each others.. attraction and sexuality... as in people think romanticsm and sexuality goes hand in hand as well - two different things, but so easily bounded to each other by human minds).

Actually asexual - are you really suggesting being an asexual and having kink/fetish isnt possible at same time? An asexual person does not feel attraction towards other people - one happening to have kink/fetish makes ones not a bit less asexual than someone else, no care if aroused or not by their interest!

Ones calling themself "pure" or somewhat makes me see red (there is no "Im-more-asexual-than-you-are" -competitions, there is no such thing as "more asexual", "pure asexual").

Does matter of sexuality really need to be dragged into this, too? Come on...

[Maledicte]

Bondage and domination for me. It's that feeling of being powerful and in control, plus the idea that someone would be so vulnerable and yet would trust me enough to take care of them while they're so vulnerable.

Albinism and intersexuality. But I'd hate, HATE to objectify someone based on their skin condition or ambiguous genitalia. Cause it's not just like having brown hair or wide hips, it seems more intrinsic than that.

Also:

-Pain/distress (other people's; the Stargate fandom has a great word for it: "Whump")

-Suits

-Written or drawn porn (mostly gay)

-Long dark hair

-Pale blue eyes

-Boots

-Teacher/student roleplaying, only the student being the dominant one

-Most accents, particularly British

And priests. Jesuits to be specific. Probably because Jeremy Irons played one in a movie.

[Liska]

Got linked over here in my thread from the hello forum, so thought I'd pop in.... So, hi everyone! I'm an asexual, with two sexual (one male one female) slaves... It's one strange ride so far!

[thepennydrops]

I've explored my hair fetish quite a bit and reached the conclusion it's much simpler to use as an aid during my alone time. Playing out fantasies never lives up to expectation and causes a lot of unforeseen trouble beside. That said, if I managed to find a partner who could accept my fetish without being involved in it, and the fact I have no interest in sex, it would make a relationship much more straightforward although I'm not sure I think a relationship is worth the bother again yet. I joined the asexual forums on fetlife but don't really expect anything to come of it. The big offputting factor for me on Fetlife are all the graphic images that come up in the ads at the sides of the page! (anyone perchance know how to block these?)

Adblock plus (an extension for Chrome and Firefox) should take care of that. If it doesn't, then you can set a certain advert provider to be blacklisted by right clicking on the image.

Thanks so much for that! Shame there isn't a version for Safari :(

[pegasusoftraken]

I don't have any fetishes, but I do have a major kink that my roommate loves to tease me about, and that's Pet Play (Pony Play, Puppy Play, Kitty Play, etc). Basically, a form of roleplaying where one person behaves like an animal, while another person takes care of them. For me I consider it an entirely non-sexual kink, although I know that some people do sexualise it. It's pretendy fun time where I get to shut off the nagging/worrying/human part of my brain, and just focus on playing.

Can't remember if I've said my kinks on this thread already or not, but this is exactly how I feel about pet play, though I only do kitty play. I love just being able to switch of my brain and just follow my instincts (which happen to be cat-like hence kitty play). And if being a kitty gets me scritches and being petted then all the merrier :D