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BDSM, Kinks, and "Asexual Fetishes"


BØØM

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Everyone who has posted on this thread is officially awesome with their openness about all this. I seriously thought I was a freak for so long for having a bunch of fetishes when I am also asexual. A few years ago I even started writing an amateur comic exploring the nature of this topic, I should think about digging that out again. You all have inspired me now, I seriously love you guys on this forum *in a sappy mood* :cake: ^_^

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I'm into male transformation, especially when the person starts to take on traits of the person they've become. I think it's mostly what made me think that I was sexually attracted to guys in the first place.

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For some reason, I love the fabric wrinkles in a shirt at the space in-between a woman's breasts. :wacko: Cowl necks, OMG. I don't care about the breasts.... just the way the fabric folds.

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I have many fetishes, but the strongest are inflatables (pooltoys) and some animal body parts.

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Non-human cartoon feet/paws. Be it cartoon animal characters, aliens, dragons, etc. This can be enhanced by paw tickling, bondage, and domination. I also really like powerful characters like dragons being dominated by simple tickling. Something about such power being brought down by a simple tickle really draws me.

Here is a clip from an anime called digimon. It is not sexual in any way, I'm guessing most would find it cute and funny but for me it is like hard core pornography.

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Well Buteo your not alone. I have the same or similar fetish as you with the interest in inflatables. Especially when it involves certain creatures.

As far a fetishes go it seems quite harmless so I just try and go with it. Heck why not. I think I made a post about it earlier in this thread but I'm not sure.

For me it adds to it when there is a small BSDM element in the inflation stuff. Most of the time their is.

I thought it was weird and wrong and tried to resist it for most of my life but in the past year I finally grew to accept it as part of me.

For me at least it only adds to life. Actually it seems to be fading some what and that has me a bit pissed. I hope it's just temporary and comes back.

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Voices. Theres something about voices, deep/low, cello/violin to be more specific. And intelligence I would say also. More I cant stand to reveal. Dont know if would call those fetishes of mine or kinks.. still a bit not clear to me.. but powerful they are.

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Wyvern-chan

Bondage (giving or receiving)

Wrestling

Scratching and light biting

Animal/pet play

Hypnosis

Alien abduction roleplay

Impact play and hurt/comfort

I kinda fetishize a disability, too. >_> At least it's a mild one. Colorblindness. I'm fascinated and a little turned on by the thought of people perceiving color in a different way from me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well Buteo your not alone. I have the same or similar fetish as you with the interest in inflatables. Especially when it involves certain creatures.

As far a fetishes go it seems quite harmless so I just try and go with it. Heck why not. I think I made a post about it earlier in this thread but I'm not sure.

For me it adds to it when there is a small BSDM element in the inflation stuff. Most of the time their is.

I thought it was weird and wrong and tried to resist it for most of my life but in the past year I finally grew to accept it as part of me.

For me at least it only adds to life. Actually it seems to be fading some what and that has me a bit pissed. I hope it's just temporary and comes back.

I have a problem accepting my own nature, as I have probably paranoid and avoidant personality disorder (it's a self diagnosis however). This is why I'm not able to talk somethings with anyone. The best example is this, and my previous message, the worst (as I think) actually what I can do is to giving out information about myself.

I'm not sure it can fade away, actually sometimes some of my fetishes are stronger than the other, and as time passes, the others will be stronger, it's changing continously.

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Nope, no fethishes here. I do get excited over a couple of things, but they're definitely not fetishes and I doubt they even fall under kinks (although I'm still having trouble understanding, what a kink is). Anyway, what does excite me are mainly books and writing utensils. A couple of other things too (metal e.g.), but books and writing stuff are the things that make me the happiest.

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Obsidian Chainsaw

I have never experienced sexual desire if not for Fetishes. During childhood I used to get arousal from transformation stories (human to animal, male to female). Then puberty came and while everyone was all horny about sex and dating, the only female attribute that held interest to me were freckles. I've always been fascinated by women with freckles on their face, not too many but as long as they're well noticeable. I only masturbated to pics of freckled girls. I still do, although less now that I currently have a stronger fetish for blowjobs, but in a non-sexual way (damn that's so hard to explain). I would say that those two fetishes are oriented towards feelings of female submission (there's actually no word close enough to what I feel), including that I sometimes imagine myself in the "female role". There's a total separation between the actual me and the fantasizing me, in that I would never act on a fetish, and I'm not a misogynist person or whatever, like Vore fetishists would never want to eat anyone/get eaten in everyday life.

While I have no sexual attraction for anyone, the fact that my fetishes lean towards the opposite gender makes me doubtful about my asexuality.

Also, one thing I hope to understand is why so many fetishes among different people are all often related to domination, and what could cause them.

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Lots of fetishes here but don't act on them. My fantasy life is my own. People may have always failed me, but my fantasy life hasn't.

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Im having difficult to separate kink and intrerest. I dont get aroused - but I do find them very powerful at times. Thats about it. What separates things being someones kink/a-bit-more-than-common-interest?

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Obsidian Chainsaw

Im having difficult to separate kink and intrerest. I dont get aroused - but I do find them very powerful at times. Thats about it. What separates things being someones kink/a-bit-more-than-common-interest?

A fetish is when something (can be an object or a situation, for example) is the only source of arousal for someone. A kink, on the other side, is a source of greater arousal for a sexual person, often during sex, meaning that people would often act on kinks but rarely on fetishes. Concerning your question, I think something starts being a kink/fetish when it involves sexual desire. If not then it's no more than an object of fascination/interest. Still, those terms are probably subjects to debate, this is merely my personal judgement.

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Im having difficult to separate kink and intrerest. I dont get aroused - but I do find them very powerful at times. Thats about it. What separates things being someones kink/a-bit-more-than-common-interest?

A fetish is when something (can be an object or a situation, for example) is the only source of arousal for someone. A kink, on the other side, is a source of greater arousal for a sexual person, often during sex, meaning that people would often act on kinks but rarely on fetishes. Concerning your question, I think something starts being a kink/fetish when it involves sexual desire. If not then it's no more than an object of fascination/interest. Still, those terms are probably subjects to debate, this is merely my personal judgement.

Sounds like I neither have fetishes nor kinks then.

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Chainsaw's definition matches every thing I've read on it. Pretty much the dictionary definition.

Similar to you Buteo I have to similar fetishes witch seem to constantly switch place as the dominant one. One's for inflatable pool toys and the other is for blueberry inflation.

Oddly enough I'm okay with the pool toy one and I'm able to accept it as part of me. However to this day I still find the other one slightly disgusting and disturbing at times.

I try and encourage the pool toy one in the hopes that it will be able to over ride and snuff out the other one but..... no dice. Very minor success if any at all.

I know how hard it can be to learn to accept them and heck I'm still battling it out with one so good luck!

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Im having difficult to separate kink and intrerest. I dont get aroused - but I do find them very powerful at times. Thats about it. What separates things being someones kink/a-bit-more-than-common-interest?

A fetish is when something (can be an object or a situation, for example) is the only source of arousal for someone. A kink, on the other side, is a source of greater arousal for a sexual person, often during sex, meaning that people would often act on kinks but rarely on fetishes. Concerning your question, I think something starts being a kink/fetish when it involves sexual desire. If not then it's no more than an object of fascination/interest. Still, those terms are probably subjects to debate, this is merely my personal judgement.

Well, no. A fetish is sexual arousal from a nonsexual stimulus.
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Obsidian Chainsaw
A fetish is sexual arousal from a nonsexual stimulus.

I know that, it could have been clearer in my post, sorry. If you mean that a fetish doesn't prevent someone from having a sexual orientation, I'd rather go with the "more often than not" though.

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A fetish is sexual arousal from a nonsexual stimulus.

I know that, it could have been clearer in my post, sorry. If you mean that a fetish doesn't prevent someone from having a sexual orientation, I'd rather go with the "more often than not" though.

.

Your definition is a bit extreme. A fetish doesn't need to be the only source of arousal. Many sexuals have fetishes, and typically sexuals are aroused by sexual stimuli. Furthermore, many people have multiple unrelated fetishes. The most concise and accurate definition is simply that its anything which affects someone sexually without being genitalia.

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hmmm bsdm (more specifically bondage, waxplay, & orgasm denial) is interesting to me. if I liked sex I'm pretty sure I'd be into that.

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You lost me with the orgasm denial. No can do.

I agree with Hungerwolf's definition of fetish. I do have a lot of them, though. I am one messed-up boy.

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Vyanni Krace

There's a lot of kinks and stuff that I enjoy reading about, and they sometimes get me mildly aroused. However I only enjoy them when they don't apply on a personal level. For example I can fantasise about it happening to me, however I know that I wouldn't enjoy any of it at all if I were to actually experience it, but I still find it 'hot' or arousing when reading it and visualising it in my head. I wonder what this is. :/

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Bingo! I'm the same way, Vyanni.

I can tell you what it is. When something reaches your unconscious, your unconscious responds.

In your unconscious, anything goes. It just wants an occasional dialogue and to be given voice.

The brighter the light, the darker the shadow, as Jung said. :)

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Huh. How have I missed this thread before?

Anyway, I definitely have kinks. They are mostly unexplored, because they are things that most people consider sexual, and I am definitely ace. I am submissive with bondage and sensation kinks. The submissiveness doesn't come out often in everyday life, and bondage and sensation play is all about sensations to me, not about sex.

Being ace makes it hard to explore these things. If I was sexual, it would be easier. However, I still have trust issues, which means it wouldn't actually be easy.

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I consider myself asexual towards other people, but I do have an underwear and S&M fetish that turns me on. There's two sides of me that wan to try out S&M, me being M, but at the same time, I find it really uncomfortable actually trying it out with someone in real life. I'm not really sexual with people, so it's mostly one-sided with me being turned on and sucking at getting them turned on. :P

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Someone Else

After reading all of this, I'm thinking that I never really thought too much about fetishes, as they seemed like the domain of sexual people.
But I'm seeing a lot of fetishes and kink are actually also a part of the asexual world, and that intrigues me. Maybe I do like the normally sexual-related activities when used as asexual activities, hadn't thought of it that way... interesting. ;)

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Goldenknight7

Uh i'll go ahead and post them in spoiler i guess


1. Tickling
2. Belly/bellybutton (not sure if it counts)
3.Bites/scratching(nibbles too *shrug*)
4.Furry.

5.if it also counts thighs.

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Uhm, I love veins. That's my fetish, how they pulse and show strenght, how I can follow them with my eyes, hands, lips... I like to touch them whenever I can. I like hair too, but veins are the fetish.

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I consider myself asexual towards other people, but I do have an underwear and S&M fetish that turns me on. There's two sides of me that wan to try out S&M, me being M, but at the same time, I find it really uncomfortable actually trying it out with someone in real life. I'm not really sexual with people, so it's mostly one-sided with me being turned on and sucking at getting them turned on. :P

Turning a woman on is the easy part. Getting her to not expect "intimacy" is the hard part.

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After reading all of this, I'm thinking that I never really thought too much about fetishes, as they seemed like the domain of sexual people.

But I'm seeing a lot of fetishes and kink are actually also a part of the asexual world, and that intrigues me. Maybe I do like the normally sexual-related activities when used as asexual activities, hadn't thought of it that way... interesting. ;)

I would think the opposite. Sexuals are after "intimacy," not sensation and/or orgasm. As such the realm of sexual fantasy and escapism isn't as important.

Anyway, that's how it seems to me.

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