daveb Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 On 6/21/2023 at 11:30 PM, Snittingnexttoborpo said: It was a very aha moment. A haha moment turned into an aha moment. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shri Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 On 11/27/2012 at 3:57 AM, SmplyM3 said: When I learned about asexuality, I was skeptical at first because I'm not too fond of labels. After looking into it, I was so relieved that I wasn't the only one! I guess I was born this way. My mind always thought about sex as something only married people would do just to have kids. I never viewed it as a pleasurable experience. When I got older, I realized that people actually wanted to have sex, and that disturbed me. I thought there was something wrong. Once I expressed myself to a friend of mine, she told me about asexuality and after some studies, it felt great. The public view of my orientation wasn't as inviting, but that's another story. Sorry... I think I rambled a bit... oops :3 I too felt the same.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hide Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 I never really thought that there's something wrong with me. I am who I am and that's it, if someone doesn't like it then they can go away. I'm a very individualistic person, never cared about social norms and I always thought it's better to be yourself than one of many blind sheep in a herd. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nikjo Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 I'm 52F and I've only just heard of asexuality. I've been single for the last 15 years as I just don't want sex. I've had relationships in the past where I had sex because I felt obligated to, because society tells you that relationships have to have sex at the centre of them. It was awful and I ended up resenting my partners. I even went to a GP to try and get my lack of libido fixed. All my life I've felt abnormal, have isolated myself and am now avoiding relationships to prevent feeling so uncomfortable. To find out I'm not alone, that there is a glimmer of hope that affectionate relationships are possible, that I'm not weird.. is a relief but am so sad that I've been carrying such a negative perception of myself all this time. Hi, everyone 🙂 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 @shri @nikjo Hello. Welcome! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 1 hour ago, LeChat said: @shri @nikjo Hello. Welcome! X2! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 3 hours ago, will123 said: 4 hours ago, LeChat said: @shri @nikjo Hello. Welcome! X2! X3 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
suewatters1 Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 I am 60 years old woman. I never enjoyed sex. It did not mean I didn't loved or cared for the person I was with at the time. If I could skip the sex part in a relationship I would be happy. I just learned a few years ago I might be asexual but didn't there was such a thing. Now I hear it is an orientation which I don't totally understand. I am straight. I love men. Would only date men. My very first post online on this topic. Thanks Sue 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hide Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 22 minutes ago, suewatters1 said: I am 60 years old woman. I never enjoyed sex. It did not mean I didn't loved or cared for the person I was with at the time. If I could skip the sex part in a relationship I would be happy. I just learned a few years ago I might be asexual but didn't there was such a thing. Now I hear it is an orientation which I don't totally understand. I am straight. I love men. Would only date men. My very first post online on this topic. Thanks Sue Like the name says, it's asexual. It's a sexual orientation. Not romantic. You can still love whoever you want. There are different kind of attractions. Seems like you're asexual heteroromantic which means you love men but you don't crave sex with them 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
glaukopis_parthenos Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 1 hour ago, suewatters1 said: I am 60 years old woman. I never enjoyed sex. It did not mean I didn't loved or cared for the person I was with at the time. If I could skip the sex part in a relationship I would be happy. I just learned a few years ago I might be asexual but didn't there was such a thing. Now I hear it is an orientation which I don't totally understand. I am straight. I love men. Would only date men. My very first post online on this topic. Thanks Sue We can say that asexuality is a sexual orientation, but in all reality it's rather a lack of it. Sexual orientation signifies who you feel sexual attraction to. Asexuality is when you don't feel it towards anyone. As the previous commenter pointed out, there is a significant difference between sexual and romantic attraction. You might have romantic feelings for someone without wanting to have sex with them, just like you (meaning some people, probably not you in particular) can have casual sex without forming emotional attachments. So you can be "straight" i the sense that you seek out romantic relationships with men, but at the same time asexual if you don't feel sexual attraction or desire towards them. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong about something, I'm fairly new here as well. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 @suewatters1 The previous two comments are pretty much spot on. I found out about asexuality in 2005, but didnt figure out what 'aro' (aromantic) meant until a few years ago. I'm aro as well as asexual. I'm 61 and have never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend). Welcome to AVEN, there are some active threads over in the Older Asexuals section you may want to check out as well. EDIT: I've always had (what I found out here) a strong aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex, so for that reason I thought I was straight. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 10 hours ago, suewatters1 said: I am 60 years old woman. I never enjoyed sex. It did not mean I didn't loved or cared for the person I was with at the time. If I could skip the sex part in a relationship I would be happy. I just learned a few years ago I might be asexual but didn't there was such a thing. Now I hear it is an orientation which I don't totally understand. I am straight. I love men. Would only date men. My very first post online on this topic. Thanks Sue Welcome and ! Some people say asexuality is an orientation, some people say it's a lack of orientation. I'm not sure that really matters. As far as being attracted to people non-sexually, people can also experience orientation that way, too. We talk about various types of attraction, such as romantic, aesthetic, platonic, etc., too. Someone may be attracted to particular genders (or other categories, factors, features) in various ways. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 @suewatters1 Hi. Welcome! Thank you, for sharing your experiences. Rest assured, there are others on the forums who can relate to feeling similar. I hope this helps! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AmandaS Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 I am new here and just reading about a sexuality. I never thought I was ace because I desire romance and relationships and find people attractive, but not sexually. I didn’t realize there was a difference. Im 44 so feel like I can’t be discovering new things about myself. Mostly this just makes me sad because I feel like no one could possibly love me without sex. It’s always been the main thing that someone wants from me and without that, will anyone want to be with me. I am happy being alone most of the time but the idea that I will be alone forever makes me really sad. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 18 minutes ago, AmandaS said: I am new here and just reading about a sexuality. I never thought I was ace because I desire romance and relationships and find people attractive, but not sexually. I didn’t realize there was a difference. Im 44 so feel like I can’t be discovering new things about myself. Mostly this just makes me sad because I feel like no one could possibly love me without sex. It’s always been the main thing that someone wants from me and without that, will anyone want to be with me. I am happy being alone most of the time but the idea that I will be alone forever makes me really sad. Welcome to AVEN! I was 44 when I found out about asexuality too. I'm 61 now and feel that in some ways I'm more at ease with others since. I do have friends of the opposite sex (off to British Columbia, Canada in September to see one. But on the other hand I don't mind being by myself. I did realise I was aro after I joined AVEN in 2017 (that explained a lot!). I always thought I was straight because I found girls attractive... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xeysaku Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 On 7/31/2023 at 6:48 PM, AmandaS said: I am new here and just reading about a sexuality. I never thought I was ace because I desire romance and relationships and find people attractive, but not sexually. I didn’t realize there was a difference. Im 44 so feel like I can’t be discovering new things about myself. Mostly this just makes me sad because I feel like no one could possibly love me without sex. It’s always been the main thing that someone wants from me and without that, will anyone want to be with me. I am happy being alone most of the time but the idea that I will be alone forever makes me really sad. Don't be sad 😞. There are indeed people who can Love romanticaly without having the need for Sex (either asexual people or sexual who are okay with compromizing)😊! To encounter someone Like that, by chance, in real life is very difficult (around 1% of world population are Ace), without some asexual Connections, but it's Not Impossible! And there is the Internet to. Here at AVEN are even some suggestions for Special Ace based dating Websites. And Like you said, don't spill the beans of this, enjoy your life and freedom und maybe try Out something new :)! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted August 2 Share Posted August 2 @AmandaS Hello. Welcome! Thank you, for sharing your thoughts with everyone. In case it might help to know, you're not alone in your feelings; there are others on the forums who feel similar. I hope this helps! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ayeebb Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 Hi, i just found out about asexuality yesterday, and I thought 'ok, I might be asexual' and it felt great. Idk just knowing that there's more people like you feels nice. I've never been with someone (sexually or romantically) but I want to have a partner and I know I don't want sex in the equation. And now I'll be happy reading other ace people experiences. Have a good day, blessingns 💛 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 Welcome to AVEN. Hope what you find here helps! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CNPinkLadiz Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 On 12/2/2012 at 8:45 PM, thylacine said: Re: "At 50, I still don't know who I am. I'm still not sure what I truly like to do or what I feel obligated to do. That used to just apply to sex but now it's bled over into all facets of my life, why I don't know." I think society does a lot of damage to people because of our culture's expectations of who and what we are supposed to be. People spend their whole lives thinking that something is "wrong" with them, and try so hard to "fit in," to appear normal, when really, it's society that is all mixed up. 🤗 I’m 56 yrs old and I feel the exact same way ty for sharing. Even if was yrs ago it matters not. God Bless You 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 @Ayeebb @CNPinkLadiz Hi. Welcome! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chase_Ace Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 Hi! I found out I was ace a few years ago (probably around 16) when I first learned about lgtbqia+, but I think I really struggled with it for a while, because I thought I was alone. The only reason I found this website was because I searched for ace pick up lines and I have found that they are all peak pick up lines. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 6 hours ago, Chase_Ace said: Hi! I found out I was ace a few years ago (probably around 16) when I first learned about lgtbqia+, but I think I really struggled with it for a while, because I thought I was alone. The only reason I found this website was because I searched for ace pick up lines and I have found that they are all peak pick up lines. Welcome to AVEN! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted September 19 Share Posted September 19 @Chase_Ace Hi. Welcome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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