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I Don't Want Sex and That's Okay? How it Feels to Hear About Asexuality!

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RogueAceOfHearts

I didn't even start to question anything until I was 20. I had an asexual friend who was more than willing to share her experiences, and then one day at work (oh, the joys of working register where I get time to think) my brain just somehow spit out something about me possibly being ace and then I had a fun 3 month crisis.

 

I finally figured out a fairly solid answer of 'yes, I am ace' after actually finding this site (thank you random person on Pinterest who pointed me this direction) and reading through a bunch of stuff over Thanksgiving break home from school.

 

It's really relieving to have a word for it, because I never wanted sex at all, and my previous bf brought it up (respectfully, he was asking what I thought of it, and I was under the impression that it was just a 'waiting for marriage' thing for me at the time) but the background knowledge that if we stayed together that he would eventually probably want that bothered me, and it's just really nice to realize that it's not just that I'm freaked out by the thought of sex, there's an actual word for this. I'm not just a weirdo for not wanting to be with someone like that.

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Artila

I was just like "Wait so I am not a little chicken with an obvious mental problem but asexual? I don't need to fix myself and push myself through my own boundaries?"

 

I had learnt about asexuality before but i was like "Nah not me" because I talk very suggestively and am the first one to crack dirty jokes. Because in my perception the dirtiest mind belong to the coolest and bravest person.

 

How should I have known that I don't feel sexual attraction when I have never felt it, right?

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westcoastmoe

I was super happy to hear that others are like me as for years i thought what the hell is wrong with me because as a guy all your friends just want to brag about sex and talk about how much they are getting and most of the women I've gone out with have always wanted it more than i did after a few months seeing each other and it would always lead to a breakup. Life is not to bad these days as i have my kids and friends and lots of stuff to keep me busy though if the right woman came along  and this asexual is already out on the table it will be so much easier 🙂

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will123
6 hours ago, westcoastmoe said:

I was super happy to hear that others are like me as for years i thought what the hell is wrong with me because as a guy all your friends just want to brag about sex and talk about how much they are getting and most of the women I've gone out with have always wanted it more than i did after a few months seeing each other and it would always lead to a breakup. Life is not to bad these days as i have my kids and friends and lots of stuff to keep me busy though if the right woman came along  and this asexual is already out on the table it will be so much easier 🙂

When I found out I was relieved too (I was 44). Mind you in my 20s, when everyone in my social circle was paired up so to speak, I knew I wasn't interested in having a girlfriend, getting married or fathering kids. Yet I thought I was attracted to females. Fortunately I never got depressed or thought I was 'broken'.

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AceMissBehaving
On 1/1/2020 at 6:04 PM, Artila said:

I was just like "Wait so I am not a little chicken with an obvious mental problem but asexual? I don't need to fix myself and push myself through my own boundaries?"

 

I had learnt about asexuality before but i was like "Nah not me" because I talk very suggestively and am the first one to crack dirty jokes. Because in my perception the dirtiest mind belong to the coolest and bravest person.

 

How should I have known that I don't feel sexual attraction when I have never felt it, right?

I was kind of the same way. I have a dirty joke for every occasion, and an encyclopedic knowledge of weird sex stuff, and yet here we are! 

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will123
Just now, AceMissBehaving said:

I was kind of the same way. I have a dirty joke for every occasion, and an encyclopedic knowledge of weird sex stuff, and yet here we are! 

X2 I guess it was because of what I was exposed to and trying to blend in so to speak.

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animatedpassions

I'm new to the site but I've identified as asexual for a few years now since college after thinking for a while that I was Demi maybe. Then I realized I was Ace with no intention for sex and getting pregnant, and it was one less thing to worry about. 

My mom wasn't happy at first but she said okay, as long as it's not sex with girls cuz then I would 'damn my soul' for that. Even though, she still brings up the idea of me personally giving her grandkids from my body, which is just a no. She's in denial and 'no' Doctor, I'm not 'saving myself for marriage' just because I still haven't had sex. 

I haven't met another Ace ever. Either online or in person and I want to know more about this sexuality. What's its like for others and how they deal with criticism for just being themselves. 

I'm just trying to figure out myself and life and where I go from that. 

Hello, what about you? 

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will123

Welcome to AVEN :cake: :)

 

I'm only out as aro ace to several close friends. They're fine with me identifying as such. I haven't told family yet as they aren't exactly LGBT+ (even though I don't feel part of that community) friendly and I know that they would react badly.

 

I have been told that I am gay because I've never had a girlfriend. The fact that I have no interest in sex with a person of either gender would be absolutely baffling to them.

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risingko

Hello everyone!.. 

I just joined today and I am really happy to have found this community. I can relate to many people here, as long as I remember I knew that I am not interested in having sex. I am from a culture where sex usually happen after marriage and we don't have a different dating culture (we mostly date only with the intention of marrying). So I easily labeled myself as "I am not interested in marrying".  Even if I was interested in a romantic relationship, I didn't accept to go out with any guy because I felt guilty about it. 

Long story short, after a serious break up recently, I started googling. That's when I came across this term, which lead me to this community. I am glad to know that I am not the only one who feel this way. 
Nice to meet you all!.. 

Edited by risingko
change some details

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daveb
1 hour ago, risingko said:

Hello everyone!.. 

Welcome and :cake: !

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Kencf0618033

I first saw the word in a Twitter correspondent's bio, and thought "A new word...!"

Looked it up, and thought "Holy Crap, that's me...!"

& the pieces fell into place

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