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I Don't Want Sex and That's Okay? How it Feels to Hear About Asexuality!


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On 7/11/2019 at 9:51 PM, Haematite said:

Hi everyone, I'm new on here.  I found this website and forum through desperation after my fiance yelled at me for 45 minutes, not understanding why I don't show him physical attention, why I would not want to have a loving, sexual relationship with the man I love (and I do love him).  I have told him over and over again that I just don't feel it, and I never have felt a sexual desire for anyone.  He kept asking what is wrong with me, what has happened to me to make me like this, how do I think I make him feel, is he repulsive, etc, etc?  I couldn't make him understand, and the only analogy I could come up with is that if you don't have an appetite for something, you don't want it or have a desire for it ... if you are forced to eat fillet steak every day, you probably won't want to eat fillet steak!  But deep down, I know that it is a bigger thing than that for me, I have always been like this, since a teenager with my first experiences.  So ... in my deep sadness and sense of inadequacy, I started googling celibacy, as I have never felt that I should have to apologise for having no sexual desire, and yet it is considered weird and selfish of me not to want to 'give' to my partner. 

 

Then I found this site - it was a revelation to me, as I had never heard of asexuality.  As I read about it, it all made sense, it all resonated with me.  I now believe I am asexual, as I never feel a sexual attraction which makes me think I want to have sex with a person, but I do fancy people and am very attracted to people, and I desperately want a romantic relationship - cuddling, kissing, holding hands, intimacy of a non-sexual kind and companionship - a life partner. 

 

I know now that at some point soon I am going to have to broach this subject with my fiance, and tell him about this site as well, so he can read about it himself.  He wants us to have a deep conversation so that (in his words) he understands me, my needs, what I like sexually and what I want him to do.  It's going to be hard to tell him that I don't want him to do anything, I don't have any sexual needs, and what I like is to be cuddled and kissed without any further sexual contact.  It's going to mean the end of my relationship, I'm virtually positive, as my lack of interest in sex has meant the end of so many relationships in the past when I get to the point that having regular sex just to please my partner simply becomes too unbearable, making me feel used and like a piece of meat.  I always thought I would meet 'the right man', who would change things for me and make me feel differently, but I guess now I know that won't happen. 

 

It is actually such a relief that I am not a total freak, frigid, a block of wood, as I have been told ... I am asexual.  It feels like a major discovery that I am tip-toeing into.  I don't have to consider going to sexual counselling which would make me experiment with my sexuality so that I can have a 'normal' loving, sexual relationship, because I am asexual.  I am asexual!!  I am asexual!!  Sorry for the long post, it just all spilled out.

Have some cake 🍰 & welcome to the community. 

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5 hours ago, Anrion said:

Have some cake 🍰 & welcome to the community. 

Thank you Anrion, are you new on here too?

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16 hours ago, Haematite said:

Thank you Anrion, are you new on here too?

New-ish; that is I joined maybe two months ago but haven't done more than post my story of how I figured out that I'm ace and then didn't visit again until a couple of days ago when I was babysitting & bored and thought to check in here again.

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Hello everyone! Only very little time ago i got to know what Asexuality is and I think that I might also be asexual. I am only 16 years old so my question is if it was too early to judge. I fell in love with a girl one year ago that i now know more than 8 years. At this time I knew nothing about Asexuality. I always asked myself if it was normal to not think of having sex with her or anything like that, but didn‘t waste much time about it. Now i think that it‘s just my sexual orientation. Unluckily she never caught any feelings for me. Due to that comes another question: is it then normal/Ok/a side effect of Asexuality that you will stay the best friend for most people or is it just me? (-:

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On 7/20/2019 at 4:48 PM, will123 said:

I've been aromantic all my life even though I figured out I was asexual twelve years beforehand.

 

In my 20s even before the majority of my social circle were getting engaged and married, I had no interest in marriage or fathering children. It wasn't until I was 44 when things changed for me.

 

I can see how that 'development' might affect your relationship. You obviously want to be with the other person, but does that include child rearing? This will sound crude, but it sounds like that wasn't what you signed up for.

 

Did you ever have any desire to have children of your own? Right there that could cause some incompatibilty with your squish. No different than an ace and a sexual person.

Ah, I see I left room from some misinterpretation. 

 

No, I have no problem at all with my squish having a wee baby. I just don't want to have one. 

 

So, maybe it's my misunderstanding of what a Zucchini is, but to my knowledge it is a platonic, loving relationship where neither person has committed to the other like in a marriage or so on. My Squish wants to have a child, which I'm totally in support of and would be happy to support them. But I do not want one. I am not one of the child's parents to be. But I will most likely be around for said child's life. My squish is planning on raising said baby on their own, with the support of family and friends, and myself as their Squish. But unlike a typical significant other relationship I am not taking responsibility for their baby. This baby is theirs, not mine. They have been wanting a baby for a long time and this choice is completely independent of me.

 

So what I'm getting at is my Squish and I are completely separate people with separate lives. We just happen to live with one another and love each other like no other, in a platonic way. We've known each other since we were young teens and have built up a very positive and healthy relationship with strong boundaries and clear understandings. We are not a couple. But we are in a relationship I cannot describe in any other way, other than to call it, a Zucchini. 

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6 hours ago, Lolli said:

Hello everyone! Only very little time ago i got to know what Asexuality is and I think that I might also be asexual. I am only 16 years old so my question is if it was too early to judge. I fell in love with a girl one year ago that i now know more than 8 years. At this time I knew nothing about Asexuality. I always asked myself if it was normal to not think of having sex with her or anything like that, but didn‘t waste much time about it. Now i think that it‘s just my sexual orientation. Unluckily she never caught any feelings for me. Due to that comes another question: is it then normal/Ok/a side effect of Asexuality that you will stay the best friend for most people or is it just me? (-:

@Lolli check out the Teen Corner thread elsewhere on AVEN :)

 

Looking back at my teen years since I've identified as asexual, it's obvious I wasn't straight. I thought girls were pretty but made no effort to have a girlfriend. 

 

Just try to talk to other teens here and see what they have to say.

 

As the years went by I still thought I was straight, definitely not gay since I wasnt attracted to guys. I had heard of asexuality, but only in Grade 9 biology. I had no idea that it could be applied to the human 'condition'.

 

When I did find out about asexuality, everything in (and not in) my life up to that point made sense.

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Anonymousace1

Honestly, I’m still pretty you, so I’m not sure if I am asexual. It kinda confuses me cos the thought of sex, or some of my friends talking about it makes me feel uncomfortable, but then I’m scared I won’t find anyone, and then if I do ever want to come out I’m not really sure how to do that

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AceMissBehaving
8 minutes ago, Anonymousace1 said:

Honestly, I’m still pretty you, so I’m not sure if I am asexual. It kinda confuses me cos the thought of sex, or some of my friends talking about it makes me feel uncomfortable, but then I’m scared I won’t find anyone, and then if I do ever want to come out I’m not really sure how to do that

You don’t need to have all the answers right away, it’s perfectly fine to leave yourself time to see what happens and figure yourself out. 

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On 7/11/2019 at 9:51 PM, Haematite said:

Hi everyone, I'm new on here.  I found this website and forum through desperation after my fiance yelled at me for 45 minutes, not understanding why I don't show him physical attention, why I would not want to have a loving, sexual relationship with the man I love (and I do love him).  I have told him over and over again that I just don't feel it, and I never have felt a sexual desire for anyone.  He kept asking what is wrong with me, what has happened to me to make me like this, how do I think I make him feel, is he repulsive, etc, etc?  I couldn't make him understand, and the only analogy I could come up with is that if you don't have an appetite for something, you don't want it or have a desire for it ... if you are forced to eat fillet steak every day, you probably won't want to eat fillet steak!  But deep down, I know that it is a bigger thing than that for me, I have always been like this, since a teenager with my first experiences.  So ... in my deep sadness and sense of inadequacy, I started googling celibacy, as I have never felt that I should have to apologise for having no sexual desire, and yet it is considered weird and selfish of me not to want to 'give' to my partner. 

 

Then I found this site - it was a revelation to me, as I had never heard of asexuality.  As I read about it, it all made sense, it all resonated with me.  I now believe I am asexual, as I never feel a sexual attraction which makes me think I want to have sex with a person, but I do fancy people and am very attracted to people, and I desperately want a romantic relationship - cuddling, kissing, holding hands, intimacy of a non-sexual kind and companionship - a life partner. 

 

I know now that at some point soon I am going to have to broach this subject with my fiance, and tell him about this site as well, so he can read about it himself.  He wants us to have a deep conversation so that (in his words) he understands me, my needs, what I like sexually and what I want him to do.  It's going to be hard to tell him that I don't want him to do anything, I don't have any sexual needs, and what I like is to be cuddled and kissed without any further sexual contact.  It's going to mean the end of my relationship, I'm virtually positive, as my lack of interest in sex has meant the end of so many relationships in the past when I get to the point that having regular sex just to please my partner simply becomes too unbearable, making me feel used and like a piece of meat.  I always thought I would meet 'the right man', who would change things for me and make me feel differently, but I guess now I know that won't happen. 

 

It is actually such a relief that I am not a total freak, frigid, a block of wood, as I have been told ... I am asexual.  It feels like a major discovery that I am tip-toeing into.  I don't have to consider going to sexual counselling which would make me experiment with my sexuality so that I can have a 'normal' loving, sexual relationship, because I am asexual.  I am asexual!!  I am asexual!!  Sorry for the long post, it just all spilled out.

..

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11 hours ago, Newperson said:

I can so relate to this. It is nearly impossible to maintain a relationship with someone who wants regular sex, my marriage ended because my husband just got so angry and bitter, he was accusing me of being a lesbian, having affairs, everything under the sun - I wish I'd known about this at the time, it might have helped his ego (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage). Anyway, I hope things go better for you now you know it's not going to change! I feel as if it can only make things better..

Hi, its so difficult, isn't it? My relationship is now over, and this has been such an epiphany for me, a major awakening, like taking the blue or red pill in The Matrix!  I can't remember which is which, but once woken up, there's no going back, for me anyway.  My fiance and I had been on and off for five years, the off's mostly due to his frustration leading to anger I think, but now that I know about asexuality, I finally know that I can't be with him and I have to put aside all the romantic ideals of our deep, soul-mate like relationship which I would always become very nostalgic about when we were apart.  Actually now, i would love to meet up with some other asexual people and find my feet in this community.  I'm sorry about your marriage, that is so hard - it happened to me with my marriage too many moons ago and he said he had no intention of spending the rest of his life not having a very active sex life, so we parted.  I think it does help the partner's ego perhaps, to know that asexuality exists.  From yours and my point of view, I think its so much better to know, than to feel that another relationship has failed due to my lack of enthusiasm between the sheets.

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On 7/22/2019 at 3:33 PM, Lolli said:

Hello everyone! Only very little time ago i got to know what Asexuality is and I think that I might also be asexual. I am only 16 years old so my question is if it was too early to judge. I fell in love with a girl one year ago that i now know more than 8 years. At this time I knew nothing about Asexuality. I always asked myself if it was normal to not think of having sex with her or anything like that, but didn‘t waste much time about it. Now i think that it‘s just my sexual orientation. Unluckily she never caught any feelings for me. Due to that comes another question: is it then normal/Ok/a side effect of Asexuality that you will stay the best friend for most people or is it just me? (-:

Hi Lolli, I think I knew even at 15-16 that I wasn't interested in sex and did not have a feeling of wanting to rip anyone's clothes off, ever, and I am now 56 and have only just discovered asexuality.  I wish I had known about it being a thing when I was 16 and wondering why I didn't want to be jumped by the boyfriend I fancied so much.  I wish I had known this for the last 40 years, through various relationships which all made me feel pressured into having sex because that is what you do - it would have saved me so much soul searching and wondering what was wrong with me.  All I can advise to you is to go with the flow, listen to your inner voice, and don't necessarily label yourself as anything as you have loads of time to allow yourself to just be you, be as you feel and don't let anyone else impose their opinions on you about your sexuality or how you should express it xx

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39 minutes ago, Haematite said:

Hi Lolli, I think I knew even at 15-16 that I wasn't interested in sex and did not have a feeling of wanting to rip anyone's clothes off, ever, and I am now 56 and have only just discovered asexuality.  I wish I had known about it being a thing when I was 16 and wondering why I didn't want to be jumped by the boyfriend I fancied so much.  I wish I had known this for the last 40 years, through various relationships which all made me feel pressured into having sex because that is what you do - it would have saved me so much soul searching and wondering what was wrong with me.  All I can advise to you is to go with the flow, listen to your inner voice, and don't necessarily label yourself as anything as you have loads of time to allow yourself to just be you, be as you feel and don't let anyone else impose their opinions on you about your sexuality or how you should express it xx

That's a great way to put it. Hopefully asexuality can get more exposure and people will find out sooner.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the end of your relationship.

 

A long time female friend spilled her guts years ago about her broken engagement a few months after we met. She would mention her engagement and ex-fiance. I knew it was none of my business so when ever she brought it up, I just hoped we'd quick get to another subject.

 

One day she told me that two weeks before the wedding, a girl called their home asking for her fiance. Apparently he was 'seeing'/(fill in the blank) her on the side.

 

I guess she confronted him about the call...

 

I just was dumbfounded. I had heard of stories at work of guys behaving badly, but nothing like this. I imagine she was devastated and/or completey and utterly embarassed. To hear that this happen two weeks before her biggest day in her life really saddened me. On the flip side, she recounted to me very matter of factly the whole situation.

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13 hours ago, Haematite said:

this has been such an epiphany for me, a major awakening, like taking the blue or red pill in The Matrix!  I can't remember which is which, but once woken up, there's no going back, for me anyway.  

So true - I feel like I've woken up too! 

 

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19 hours ago, Haematite said:

Hi, its so difficult, isn't it? My relationship is now over, and this has been such an epiphany for me, a major awakening, like taking the blue or red pill in The Matrix!  I can't remember which is which, but once woken up, there's no going back, for me anyway. 

 

 From yours and my point of view, I think its so much better to know, than to feel that another relationship has failed due to my lack of enthusiasm between the sheets.

I never thought of using the word epiphany to describe how I felt when I discovered asexuality and immediately identified as asexual, but it would be suitable in hindsight. It made so much sense and I was happy and content. And yes there was no going back, I wasn't straight!:)

 

As a virgin I can't imagine the emotional pain that people (before knowing about asexuality) go thru to have sex (do something they inherently dislike) with someone they love, but have no idea why they dislike it :(

 

Society, the media and everyone around us tells us that sex is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Well if it is why do some of us prefer a nice slice of chocolate cake instead?

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Not letting any other opinion stop you from being yourself is easier said then done, especially as a teenager. I think it‘s hard for most people to understand if i‘d ever get into a relationship. I don‘t know if this is the right forum for this, but i still want to ask how you all get to attract women only a romantic way, because I never was successful. Or is it not worth already putting time and effort into this topic while I am only 16?

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6 hours ago, Lolli said:

Not letting any other opinion stop you from being yourself is easier said then done, especially as a teenager. I think it‘s hard for most people to understand if i‘d ever get into a relationship. I don‘t know if this is the right forum for this, but i still want to ask how you all get to attract women only a romantic way, because I never was successful. Or is it not worth already putting time and effort into this topic while I am only 16?

I do feel that this question belongs in a different forum. For example, one where Aces meet Aces. Asking someone else to teach you how to get girls won't teach you how to build healthy positive non-sexual relationships. All it will teach you is how to convince someone into a relationship with you which is morally and ethically backward and obscene and that person will lose respect for you for it. You never want to "convince" someone into a relationship. That is unhealthy and will not end well. And you never want to attract someone who doesn't find you attractive for who you are. And your age is not a deterrence. But being in a relationship should always be what at least two people want and have agreed to.  

 

My recommendation is to be patient. Make friends first. Befriend them to be friends, without any expectation that it will turn into something romantic.  You can ask of course and if they say no, then that's it. No means, "Thanks but I'm just a friend and I prefer it that way." Which is great because friends, healthy ones, are good for anyone. My recommendation for someone who is so young and yet has figured this out about themselves is, find out what you enjoy first, then find people who share those joys with you. Like your hobbies, media and activities. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Going around "asking" for love is not a good tactic. This would hurt you and distance you from others because it asks too much of a person too quickly during an already emotionally confusing time in their lives. It's not "on you" to go searching high and low for someone to love you. Friends can love you too. And as for a young girl, whom you find interesting and who shares your interests and likes spending time with you, see where that leads. 

 

And of course always be honest with yourself and that person. You can open up about your sexuality if you feel comfortable, but always consider yourself first and how that person might react before telling them. 

 

 

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NickyTannock

@Lolli A belated welcome to AVEN!

 

Your feelings could change in the future, but I don't think you're too young to know that you're Asexual.

In my case, I realised that I'm Asexual in my early teens, around 14.

 

Unfortunately, I can't offer any experience-based dating advice, as I've never had or desired a romantic relationship.

But I wish you luck.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Candyland Cake (all edible),

tc7vnehtfde46yar6lvv.jpg

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@Lolli Just be yourself. As @Miggs says maybe you can meet someone thru a shared interest.

 

 I met the girl I mentioned earlier, online thru a recreational activity forum (I dont like to get too specific). She was attending the same event as me and we made plans to meet. As they say the rest is history. We're just friends and quite happy it's like that. Mind you I only came out to her as aro ace earlier this year (known her since '03).

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Thank you guys for letting me be part in this very welcoming experience!!! Your advice was very helpful to kind of seek my inner self and realising that I might need professional help for this (not only sexuality). I know that this is the wrong forum for this but I just need to let it all out for once and i know that you all are a nice and loving community where I am know proudly a member of. Thanks

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7 hours ago, Lolli said:

Thank you guys for letting me be part in this very welcoming experience!!! Your advice was very helpful to kind of seek my inner self and realising that I might need professional help for this (not only sexuality). I know that this is the wrong forum for this but I just need to let it all out for once and i know that you all are a nice and loving community where I am know proudly a member of. Thanks

Of course welcome to the community! I didn't say that before. 

 

I tend to be rather stern in my responses about relationships so I hope you know that ultimately, regardless of anyone's advice, it's important to love and respect yourself first and make your own decisions.

 

When I went out with someone, I did so because I went to school with them and over the course of a year got to know them and what we each enjoyed. So that's where I come from regarding advice. 

 

Please have this digital cake as a gift of welcome!

 

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So. I am a happily married woman of 11 years. I've been with my husband for 12 years and love him dearly. He's not asexual, but I am. I only learned of the term asexual in such a context a couple of years ago. I read a little bit about it and though it registered with me as 'oh, that might be what I am', at the time, I didn't really do much else about it. Yesterday I was browsing random articles and stumbled across one about an asexual man and woman who married each other. It resonated with me and from it, I found www.asexuality.org.

 

Reading through the information found there, the FAQs, some of the forum explanations. It was me. It was how I've felt my entire life and had no idea of what it was, what I am. How I felt about others, or lack there of ;), how I viewed them and what so many find so easy to feel. Desire. Attraction. Lust. I feel attraction, but it's the attractions referenced here. Romantic, aesthetic, sensual. I have never felt a sexual attraction in my life. I have never felt the desire or want to have sex, but I did it anyways trying to feel what I thought I should feel, experience what I am 'supposed' to feel.

 

I tend to find women more aesthetically and sensually pleasing, but find men attractive as such as well. I often wondered in my teens and twenties if I was a lesbian because of this, or maybe bi-sexual, but despite those 'attractions', the thought of having sex with either a man or a woman was just.. gross and I simply  had no want to do so. The 1 1/2 partners I was with before marrying my husband were just attempts to move along in the direction it felt like I should. Date, have sex, eventually marry, etc. It was just because I felt like it was what I should be doing. I wanted companionship, wanted to feel close to someone, but that was it. Sex did nothing for me. I've never felt desire, never lusted, never had an orgasm, never even the slightest hint of pleasure from having sex, even when having sex with those who knew what they were doing, because I sure didn't know how to feel pleasure. I struggled to masturbate just to learn and figure out that THIS is how I should feel, THIS is how someone feels pleasure. Nada. Zip, Nothing. I've never felt the pleasure of an orgasm. I've always felt as though I were disconnected. That my body, that I, was broken.

 

I've only had what I call as 2 1/2 sexual partners, all male. I thought I would honestly be alone all of my life. I didn't want to be alone, but I figured surely that was the life I would lead. But I'm not. I am incredibly lucky and blessed to have met my husband. And then.. three months after we wed, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to have a full hysterectomy and radiation treatments. I was lucky though and didn't require chemo. Despite this, he stuck with me when I know some wouldn't have. He's stuck with me through a lot and has never stopped loving me and being what I need, being my everything.

 

He didn't know that I was asexual at this time. Hell, neither did I. I faked it. For years. And though I didn't 'have to' despite what I just said, I felt I did, because I love him, and want him to have what he deserves as my husband. After my surgery, of course, it was sometime before we could have sex again. A perfect excuse for me not to have to have sex, woo-hoo! Eventually though, I was able to have sex again, and we did, though eventually other health issues arose and I had to have back surgery next. And (conveniently?) another excuse not to have sex. I recovered from surgery, though my back issues remain, and though we did at one point start having sex again, over time, it trickled to less and less and now it's been a good five years since we've had sex. I know some women would worry and fret over that, but I don't. I know him, and he knows me. I eventually told him that I don't really feel anything when I have sex, and he accepted that and never pressed the issue.

 

Eventually I stumbled over the term asexual, and as mentioned above, had a 'Huh, that might be me' moment, then moved on with only an occasional blip of thought regarding it. Then yesterday... And my world has changed in only a few short hours. Answers. Understanding. Acceptance. This.Is.Me. I am asexual and knowing that there are others out there that are similiar, if not the same, has given me closure in a sense that I did not think was possible. I'm not disconnected. I'm not broken.

 

I talked to my husband about it tonight, shared with him the terms and information, the descriptions and details of all the possibilities I'd learned thus far. And just as he's always done, he accepted it, accepted me. He told me he loved me, and though I already knew, already felt accepted despite being a wife that doesn't have sex with her husband, I felt... normal. I always knew he was okay that we didn't have sex anymore, but I always worried about it. Not that he would cheat or leave me, because that's not him, but that I was a bad wife, a bad partner. But I'm not. He doesn't see me that way, and now that I know that it's not just me... being this way, that this is simply how I am, how I was born. Then it's time for me to accept me too. I'm asexual. And that's okay.

 

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@TiffanyT Welcome to AVEN! :cake: :)

 

Sorry to hear that you've gone thru a lot in your life and endured a horrible sex life (if I can call it that).

 

That being said it sounds like your husband is great and loves you for 'who you are, not what you do' :) .

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The last time I said to a guy "I'm asexual"

He said to me "How can you live without sex? Are you a bacterium?"

Ahahaha

I was shocked

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3 hours ago, will123 said:

@TiffanyT Welcome to AVEN! :cake: :)

 

Sorry to hear that you've gone thru a lot in your life and endured a horrible sex life (if I can call it that). 

Lol, I'd not call it horrible, it just wasn't fun and what most think sex should be based on, due to being asexual.

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3 hours ago, TiffanyT said:

Lol, I'd not call it horrible, it just wasn't fun and what most think sex should be based on, due to being asexual.

I'm a virgin so I really have no point of reference as to whether it's good, bad or 'meh'...

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not_all_who_wander

I don’t actually know for sure if I’m ace or not, but the first time I heard of asexuality referring to people I was confused and actually thought it had something to do with being attracted to food? I only thought that because I knew very little about the lgbtq+ community and I had heard in passing that Jughead from the Archie comics had been revealed as asexual (his main personality trait is eating a lot). I then forgot about it until several years later, when I heard about asexuality in a different context-a college psych teacher was musing over wether or not asexuals were “real.” Still not great, obviously, but it was enough to prompt me to Google it and start wondering if maybe my lack of attraction to guys was more than just me being “inexperienced” or too busy with my life (which is what my friends always implied). It took me years to even hear about asexuality as a concept that first time. Anyway, I guess it just goes to show why aces need more representation in the media.

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51 minutes ago, not_all_who_wander said:

I don’t actually know for sure if I’m ace or not, but the first time I heard of asexuality referring to people I was confused and actually thought it had something to do with being attracted to food? I only thought that because I knew very little about the lgbtq+ community and I had heard in passing that Jughead from the Archie comics had been revealed as asexual (his main personality trait is eating a lot). I then forgot about it until several years later, when I heard about asexuality in a different context-a college psych teacher was musing over wether or not asexuals were “real.” Still not great, obviously, but it was enough to prompt me to Google it and start wondering if maybe my lack of attraction to guys was more than just me being “inexperienced” or too busy with my life (which is what my friends always implied). It took me years to even hear about asexuality as a concept that first time. Anyway, I guess it just goes to show why aces need more representation in the media.

That what I always said when friends asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend. I hadn't heard about asexuality until 2005 when I was 44 and yes I do recall some chatter about Jughead being asexual. I wasn't sure when, but this is from Wiki':

 

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In 2016, Jughead's orientation was confirmed to be asexual[18] in the stories of Chip Zdarsky (and later Ryan North and Mark Waid) for the Jughead comics as part of the New Riverdale line.

Early in 2018, there was a mention about a character (a suicide victim) on NCIS https://ncis.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Secrets_(episode) possibly being asexual. That is the only time in a network program that I know of it being discussed.

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14 minutes ago, will123 said:

That what I always said when friends asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend. I hadn't heard about asexuality until 2005 when I was 44 and yes I do recall some chatter about Jughead being asexual. I wasn't sure when, but this is from Wiki':

 

Early in 2018, there was a mention about a character (a suicide victim) on NCIS https://ncis.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Secrets_(episode) possibly being asexual. That is the only time in a network program that I know of it being discussed.

Hi, Will. That’s more recent than I thought! I guess time flies. Either that or I had heard speculation that jughead was asexual-I might be getting mixed up. 

 

Also, just for fun- she’s an obscure, short lived comic hero, but I’m a huge comics nerd so I was excited when I heard about this asexual super hero: https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Roshanna_Chatterji_(Prime_Earth)

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1 minute ago, not_all_who_wander said:

Hi, Will. That’s more recent than I thought! I guess time flies. Either that or I had heard speculation that jughead was asexual-I might be getting mixed up. 

 

Also, just for fun- she’s an obscure, short lived comic hero, but I’m a huge comics nerd so I was excited when I heard about this asexual super hero: https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Roshanna_Chatterji_(Prime_Earth)

I was surprised when I saw the date as well. I was thinking it was further back than that. I've identified as asexual since 2005 and thought the 'Jughead is asexual' discussion was closer to that date.

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