Brooxie Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 I am new to these forums so forgive me if this is a stupid post or whatever the Case may be: anyways, my point... Is 14 too young an age to identify as an aromantic asexual? I can definitely identify as an aromantic because I never act on any "crushes" that I may have (which always go away once I know the person's personality). Can I still be aromantic if I find the opposite gender asthetically attractive? Also, can I identify as asexual if I've never "tried it"? I mean; I have zero thoughts about it and am very happy being this way. Please help me.. Link to post Share on other sites
agf12 Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 It's really just what you think. I'm aromantic ace too and I'm younger than you. Link to post Share on other sites
Doozer Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Yeah I second that. I don't think there's such thing as 'too young' regarding things like sexuality and gender. I also don't see any reason why finding people attractive would have any impact on whether you're aromantic. Just like how a straight dude can say another dude is attractive. We can think things look good without it having any effect on our sexual/romantic orientation. Also of course you can identify as asexual if you're never "tried it". I haven't either, though I've come close, and I'm certain that's not really something I want. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if you're these things or not. No one else gets a say. Link to post Share on other sites
byanyotherusername Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 If the term "aromantic asexual" seems to fit you, then you can identify that way. Yeah, it might change as you get older. It might not. I'm 20, and I've changed how I identify several times since your age, however that was mostly as a result of learning more about (a)sexuality and attraction, not because I feel all that differently than I did at 14--my interest in sex/romance has changed very little since then. Just remember to use labels to help understand yourself better, not box yourself in. You can certainly know if you are asexual without ever "trying it", just as someone can know they are straight without ever "trying it" with someone of the same sex. Good luck figuring yourself out (it's a life-long process). :) Link to post Share on other sites
Batman's Ace Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Is 14 too young an age to identify as an aromantic asexual? I can definitely identify as an aromantic because I never act on any "crushes" that I may have (which always go away once I know the person's personality). Can I still be aromantic if I find the opposite gender asthetically attractive? I find my own gender aesthetically attractive, and I'm strictly a guy girl. Humans all look a little weird if you look at them too hard, but in moderate quantities both sexes are interesting geometrically. Doesn't make a difference in romantic orientation. I don't act on crushes myself, but for me it's just because I know having a crush is enjoyable and making people feel awkward isn't. One thing I'd say is that you don't have to pick sexual and romantic orientations and stick to them no matter what. You might find that your feelings shift over time, and that's okay. Or maybe they won't; that's okay, too. Use whatever terms describe you best, just don't ever let the terms define and limit you. Also, can I identify as asexual if I've never "tried it"? Yes. I have not tried bungee jumping, I know I don't want to, no big deal. By the way: not a stupid post. It's better to ask and get answers than to agonize over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Brooxie Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 It's really just what you think. I'm aromantic ace too and I'm younger than you. Yes, I suppose you are right. Link to post Share on other sites
Glitter Spock Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 I have identified as asexual since the age of 13 (I'm 23 now, for reference). I would not say that there is a definite age that is "too young" to have an asexual identity. I came to an aromantic identity much later, because AVEN did not have resources for aromantics when I found it in 2004 (and I assumed that finding other people physically attractive meant I was romantic). I don't think there is an age at which a person is "too young" to have an aromantic identity or to explore nonromantic relationship structures, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Brooxie Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 If the term "aromantic asexual" seems to fit you, then you can identify that way. Yeah, it might change as you get older. It might not. I'm 20, and I've changed how I identify several times since your age, however that was mostly as a result of learning more about (a)sexuality and attraction, not because I feel all that differently than I did at 14--my interest in sex/romance has changed very little since then. Just remember to use labels to help understand yourself better, not box yourself in. You can certainly know if you are asexual without ever "trying it", just as someone can know they are straight without ever "trying it" with someone of the same sex. Good luck figuring yourself out (it's a life-long process). :) I feel like half the time I think I identify as an aromantic asexual and other times not aromantic. I think I will use all that luck you gave for my whole life :P It is an extremely difficult process thus far. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 If you ask me, it's better to identify with a label you're comfortable with than assuming you're "straight by default" for years and years like I did. I knew nothing about asexuality until the end of my freshman year of college, and all through middle/high school, I assumed "I'll suddenly be interested in sex when I enter college" (which, for some reason, was what I assumed the default mentality about sex was), and I forced myself into several romantic relationships trying to convince myself that I was capable of "love" (or, as I later realized, romantic attraction). I'd say that the most important things are to be comfortable with the identity, to use it as a tool for self-understanding, and to avoid clinging to a label if it stops applying to you at some point (whether it be a process of experimenting with labels or the concept fluid sexuality/romanticism at work). I don't feel that age should be a big factor in deciding your identity, even if some people may use a person's age as reason to be skeptical of someone being any sexuality that isn't heterosexual. P.S. I'm an aromantic who used to not be able to find people aesthetically attractive, but have slowly developed a sense of aesthetic attraction over time, and I see aesthetic attraction as something completely separate of romantic/sexual identities. The three can overlap, but they don't necessarily need to. Link to post Share on other sites
Hazel lights Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I am new to these forums so forgive me if this is a stupid post or whatever the Case may be: anyways, my point... Is 14 too young an age to identify as an aromantic asexual? I can definitely identify as an aromantic because I never act on any "crushes" that I may have (which always go away once I know the person's personality). Can I still be aromantic if I find the opposite gender asthetically attractive? Also, can I identify as asexual if I've never "tried it"? I mean; I have zero thoughts about it and am very happy being this way. Please help me.. Just because one doesn't act on their crushes doesn't mean they are automatically aromantic. There are many romantic people who don't act on their crushes for a multitude of reasons. I'm not saying you're romantic though. I thought I had little crushes but looking back these "crushes" were only at best squishes, a desire to get to know the person better or be friends. For your next question, there are many different types of attraction. Romantic attraction is a desire to become romantic partners with someone. Sexual attraction is a desire to do sexual activities with a person. Aesthetic attraction is a desire to look at someone. So what this means is that if one were to see someone who is really hot, the sexual would have a desire to actually touch/make out/have sex with the person (though they may never act on this desire in the slightest) while the asexual would prefer to just look at them. Next, of course you can identify with asexual if you've never tried it. We don't make hetrosexual people have homosexual sex to know that they don't desire it. I'm 15 and have questioned before if I'm too young to know, but really if aromantic asexual the label that's most comfortable for you then you can choose to identify as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Aravia Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 you can label yourself as anything you want, but sexuality is always changing, and don't be alarmed if you find that your feelings change. just be open to new possibilities. you're just getting into puberty! your hormones and emotions are starting to get all weird and anything can happen! puberty doesn't really end til 18-21 either.. so no rush on deciding what you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenny_X Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I got to 49 before I realised that I was most likely a heteroromantic demisexual. So you're never too old either! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Naosuu Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I don't think there's such thing as 'too young' regarding things like sexuality and gender.I disagree with that. People change a lot in their teens. I just turned 22 and my perception of myself has changed a lot over the last three years, let alone last decade. Not that one can't explore but labels aren't very effective around the early teens. IMO, OP you're better off keeping the label in mind... but don't cling to it. Just go with the flow and see how you develop. Link to post Share on other sites
crucis Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 OP, I agree with hazel_lights in that not wanting to act on a crush doesn't mean you're aromantic. I doubt I would go after someone no matter how much I felt for her. I also agree with those who think you shouldn't box yourself into a category. It could affect your personal development and lead to complications. By all means adopt a label, but don't forget you have absolutely no obligation to stick to it. All the best... take it easy and do what feels natural, you have plenty of time to figure things out! Link to post Share on other sites
The Protector Of Light Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 I'm going to tell you that it isn't too early to decide, but at the same time, don't feel pressured to make a decision at 14 years old. You are still young and just starting out on the path of discovery. You can identify however you feel comfortable, but don't be put off it it changes. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet and Tender Hooligan Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 I'm going to tell you that it isn't too early to decide, but at the same time, don't feel pressured to make a decision at 14 years old. You are still young and just starting out on the path of discovery. You can identify however you feel comfortable, but don't be put off it it changes. Yes, entirely this. Certainly worth identifying, but it is possible to change how you see your identity. I could've sworn I was romantically inclined a few years ago, but a bit of time and introspection later and I'm almost sure I'm not. Link to post Share on other sites
Robin L Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 I'm 15, and I have no problem with my identification of gray-heteroromantic asexual. Yes, I am aware that it might change, and I'll openly embrace anything that might come my way (though I doubt it). Link to post Share on other sites
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