Aromantic opinions on physical affection

[Tenebre]

I am currently in the process of questioning my romantic identity and I had a question for the aro aces out there, who I may be one of. How do you feel about physical affection, for example cuddling, holding hands, maybe kissing? Either I've never felt romantic love for someone or am just not capable of telling when I do feel it but I do crave physical affection and I was wondering how other aro aces felt about it.

[Vincentara]

I'm not entirely aromantic (probably demiromantic or something like that) but I tend to dislike most forms of physical contact. I'm ok with cuddling and hugging, not that fond of holding hands, and repulsed by kissing.

[AceOfAwesome]

I personally don't mind friendly touching (including hugs), but anything more affectionate I'm really not a fan of.

[The Great WTF]

I'm aromantic, but honestly I really enjoy cuddling and chaste kisses, don't really crave them, though. It's fairly uncommon for me to be cuddly with people just because I'm not a very affectionate person, but when I am around people that I do legitimately care about and enjoy, I love to cuddle with them.

[Oceania]

I personally don't mind friendly touching (including hugs), but anything more affectionate I'm really not a fan of.

This. Hugs are about the most I care for. The other luvey-duvey stuff is just weird to me, and kissing repulses me entirely.

[Mezzo Forte]

I'm okay with a certain degree of touch, but once it starts to happen too frequently, I start to get uncomfortable. I enjoy hugs quite a bit along with the occasional reaffirming touch, like a pat on the back or a high-five. I also enjoy massages for selfish reasons rather than as an exchange of affection, and still have some trouble perceiving it as such (It took me a while it understand why my friend preferred massages from her boyfriend instead of a trained professional). Other than that, I go to neutral to eventually repulsed as it gets more intimate from there. I'm neutral about cuddling and handholding, neutral-repulsed to chaste kissing, and then anything more intimate than that, I just cannot perceive myself doing at all. The more frequent the touch, the more I start to feel like my personal space is being invaded, and the more intimate the touch, the lower the threshold is for me to reach that point.

[Quill Pen Gentleman]

I'm not really romantic (but I don't label as an aromantic either) but I'm polarized on this topic. Sometimes, I don't anyone to touch me (usually when I'm upset or sad) but at other times I crave it so much. I like hugs, I like it when my friend rubs my back with her fingernails (gently, of course), I like sitting next to a nice friend of mine and letting our arms and legs touch, I like holding hands, and hugging someone and rubbing their arms afterwords. I either love it or hate it.

[byanyotherusername]

I'm aromantic, and a total cuddle-slut. XD I love cuddling, hugging, hand-holding, light kisses, massages, back rubs, etc. I get 'cuddle-cravings' that aren't targeted at any specific person. As a general rule, the more I like (and trust) someone the more physical I want to be with them, but this varies based on the type of relationship and their level of comfort with physical affection. And by this I don't just mean that I'm respectful of their personal space, but that if someone doesn't like cuddling then I feel no desire whatsoever to cuddle them. Mutual enjoyment is a big part of the appeal.

A casual friend might get a hug hello, but it would be weird to cuddle with them...I can be open to casual cuddling if I am reasonably assured that it is "safe" and no one will get the wrong idea/overstep my boundaries. Though it still doesn't feel as nice and comfortable as it does with someone I am really close to. To me, cuddling is the physical expression of a close emotional bond--and, similarly, lighter touches can express positive but more non-committal messages, 'it's good to see you again,' 'I enjoyed talking with you,' 'you're adorable,' etc.

[Mephi's Q]

Hugs are my limit. I tried dating but got uncomfortable when holding hands. Since then i stick to hugs, but only with family and close friends.

Hope this helps :cake:

[gilnokoibito]

I'm aromantic and I don't like/can't stand much of any physical affection!

Kissing to me is unnecessary and gross (and I mean ANY type of kissing!) I don't like cuddling (same reason, unnecessary to me and weird plus it's never felt like its comfortable at all...how do people cuddle and be comfortable!? O.o) or hugging...and to me holding hands is just as awkward. I don't like the feel of other people's hands...and no matter how cool the temperature may be...it still always feels sweaty and just plain icky to me.

Now I will admit...I *sort of* allow one friend of mine to hug me...but only because she's a glomper and I've tried escaping from her several times...and it's never worked! So now I just squeal a bit and freeze up until its over. -_- And then there's this one guy (gay) whose friends with me...he's like a male version of me when it comes to hobbies and the way we think about a lot of things. But I've yet been able to really tell him I don't like hugs yet...so I just let him hug me every time he sees me...I think I've gotten used to him. And for some reason, with him, I never minded it as much anyhow. *shrugs*

[Gloom]

Hey there, Tenebre. You're going to get lots of varied responses in this thread. ;)

I don't do that much in the way of physical contact. I do hugs only when I feel they are appropriate for the situation. E.g., leaving someone for a long time, or very happy for something someone has just done for me. Hand holding, kissing, and cuddling are all gross to me. Occasionally, I'll pat people on the shoulder or the like, but I'm very awkward about it. :P

[Guest]

Don't mind hugs from people, though not for very long. It's not something I would seek out, either. I've never been kissed, so I can't really say anything about that. Oddly enough, holding hands I have a really big problem with. I can't do it.

[Random Happenstance]

I love cuddles, though only from people I know well and am comfortable with, but I find hugs awkward-I never know what you're supposed to do with your arms! With kissing I find it weird (a kiss on the cheek or something's fine, but on the mouth seems kind of gross, and negates the ability to have conversation, which would really annoy me), and hand holding is just awkward and impractical. I only cuddle with one person at the moment, but would totally cuddle with all my closest friends if they were up for it ^_^;

I'm still happy to classify myself as aromantic, despite craving cuddles often. I think it's a separate thing, wanting cuddles from someone you like, to wanting to be with them romantically. I'm not sure I can explain why though, but that's how it feels to me, and the idea of a romantic relationship makes me uncomfortable.

[Sadfriend]

I really like to cuddle and being massaged/massaging someone else but I've noticed that I'm more comfortable with it if it's someone I know really well or of the male gender. I don't know why, I just realized that most people I've cuddled with were guys.

Kissing on the other hand is kinda boring. I've only done it with the influence of alcohol, which might be the reason I didn't find it uncomfortable. It's not something I'd want to do again tho.

[Grace Barton]

I am currently in the process of questioning my romantic identity and I had a question for the aro aces out there, who I may be one of. How do you feel about physical affection, for example cuddling, holding hands, maybe kissing? Either I've never felt romantic love for someone or am just not capable of telling when I do feel it but I do crave physical affection and I was wondering how other aro aces felt about it.

I'm an aro/ace and I also crave physical affection, yet at the same time I am extremely uncomfortable about the idea. There are times when I'll sit and really, completely, desperately CRAVE affection, usually in the form of cuddling. Kissing and holding hands has never really been a draw for me, but cuddles... yes, I crave those. Particularly the kind of cuddles where you're curled up on the sofa or in bed with someone watching a movie and just relaxed with each other, enjoying each other's warmth and company... that's the kind of physical affection I crave. Yet being aromantic makes achieving such a thing difficult. But cuddling just anybody wouldn't nurse the craving. It'd have to be someone I actually felt something for. Which, when you're aro... is kinda hard. I don't know how other aro's solve this problem...