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Were or are you bullied because of your asexuality?


ithaca

Do you think there's bullyism towards asexuals?  

  1. 1. Were or are you bullied because of your asexuality?

    • Yes, I think I was/am bullied because of my asexuality
      19
    • No, I was/am bullied but I think it was not because of my asexuality
      34
    • No, I was not bullied at all
      31
    • No, but I've been accused of being a bully
      0
    • Something else (please do tell)
      5
    • I'm not sure
      5
    • I'm not asexual/gray/demi
      0
    • I don't care about answering this, I just like polls
      2
  2. 2. If you were/are bullied, (supposedly) because of your aceness, when was that?

    • Primary school age
      2
    • Middle school age
      7
    • High school age
      18
    • College/University age
      7
    • After college/university age
      1
    • More than one of the above (please specify if you want to share)
      5
    • Another age (please specify if you want to share)
      0
    • I voted that I was not bullied, or anyway not because of my aceness
      54
    • I'm not asexual/gray/demi
      0
    • I don't care about answering this, I just like polls
      2

This poll is closed to new votes


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Hello!

This topic is a bit weird, I know. It seems to me that many people on AVEN have been (or are) victim of bullyism.

I was wondering how many of you think/feel that it was because of your asexuality?

Discuss!

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The only bullying I have experienced was in elementary (primary) school, and that certainly wasn't due to my asexuality. If I have been bullied other times, it was not due to my asexuality. But I'm pretty sure the bullying wasn't past elementary school.

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I've been bullied a few times, both in primary and middle school. And honestly, I don't think there was any reason (at least that I can think of), for being bullied.

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+1 for the 'I just like polls' option :D :lol:

I wouldn't say that I've been bullied, but there have been instances when friends have pointed out my aceness in ways that made me want to sink through the floor.

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*possible trigger warning*

Yes. Except I didn't realise I was ace at the time. Between the ages of 11 and 16 my peers began getting involved with each other. I was bullied cause I didn't want a boyfriend (first it was calling me various lesbian slurs, then saying I was too ugly to get one anyway...it exacerbated to the extent a group of 16 yr olds dragged 11 yr old Cy to the back of the school bus and sexually assaulted her. When teachers were told, there response was to say she had deserved it as she must have been egging them on. Bus driver and 20 other students did nothing either). By last year of secondary school it was apparently my fault I was being bullied as I was too prude and thought it was my fault I was being bullied as I 'acted better than the others cause I saw boys as friends'

It wasn't only because of that, I was a loner so an easy targe.t, one their to learn about maths and science and history rather than boys and the birds and the bees.

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I was bullied as a kid, and as a preteen, mostly for being awkward, and something of a creep, which is something that I"m still scarred/afraid of being/coming across as (I had an awful panic attack yesterday, for making a former friend uncomfortable without realizing it). However, I was gently teased for being ace/exhibiting ace-like behavior by some of my friends in high school.

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Mostly Peaceful Ryan

I have never been bullied. I scare people that don't know me cause I look really tough and the people that do know me seem to like me alot so i never ran into that problem, not to mention that very few people actually know I'm asexual

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Waist of Thyme

No. I was only bullied for about half of my seventh grade year, but that was before I knew about asexuality and there wasn't a specific reason that I was being bullied (that I know of).

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It was only a year ago when I realized I'm an ace, so not a lot of people know. People mostly ask me "Doesn't 'asexual' mean you reproduce by yourself?", and a couple of my friends call me a starfish instead of an amoeba. Nothing worse than that, really. I was only bullied when I was little mostly by my sister because she's just a natural bully.

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There were two or three bullies in my school days around age 13-16 that gave me a hard time, but I really don't think it had anything at all to do with me being ace (I was nowhere near being out as ace back then).

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People didn't mess with me, possibly because they knew that if they were nice I'd give them answers to homework and such.

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*possible trigger warning*

Yes. Except I didn't realise I was ace at the time. Between the ages of 11 and 16 my peers began getting involved with each other. I was bullied cause I didn't want a boyfriend (first it was calling me various lesbian slurs, then saying I was too ugly to get one anyway...it exacerbated to the extent a group of 16 yr olds dragged 11 yr old Cy to the back of the school bus and sexually assaulted her. When teachers were told, there response was to say she had deserved it as she must have been egging them on. Bus driver and 20 other students did nothing either). By last year of secondary school it was apparently my fault I was being bullied as I was too prude and thought it was my fault I was being bullied as I 'acted better than the others cause I saw boys as friends'

It wasn't only because of that, I was a loner so an easy targe.t, one their to learn about maths and science and history rather than boys and the birds and the bees.

Unexisting, Oh my gosh. This is terrible and breaks my heart. Shame on those students, teachers, and bus driver for not doing anything and saying it was your fault. And poor Cy. This is just terrible. I am so sorry this all happened.

I don't know if I was bullied. I was made fun of a lot for various reasons, and still am. Some still revolve around never wanting sex, a boyfriend, or feeling uncomfortable around topics such as the naked body. *Shudders*

Bullies suck and are just plain mean.

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Wasn't bullied because of being asexual. More like... because I was quiet and looked vulnerable~ I'm sure they thought I was more along the lines of lesbian instead though XD. Dear me, such thick people...

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Yeah, sometimes.

Most people don't know me very well, because I'm usually just somewhere reading, not talking to people, but my "friends" always tease and sometimes bully me about it. Even though I've explained what it was, they still don't really seem to get what asexuality is, and often laugh at me, saying, "Don't you ever want to have kids?" "So you masturbate all day (which I don't at all...they don't believe me)?" "How's it going, starfish?" and things like that. They also seem to think that me being asexual is a choice, which it's not. And then they always tell dirty jokes that I don't get. So, really, no real bullying there from my *cough* "friends". Unless you count them telling everyone all my secrets just because they think it's "funny" that I'm asexual. Which ended up having the whole school know about me being asexual, bipolar, occasionally having suicidal thoughts, and...they even told the guy I liked that I liked him. And then he rejected me because I was asexual! ............forever alone. T_T

But not that much actual bullying, though. Mostly just being incredibly annoying and making my life miserable.

:cake:

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Yes, I suffered quite a bit of bullying for it in my teen years, even though I didn't realize I was asexual or what asexuality was. My peers often teased me for not dating, showing no interest in the opposit sex, abstaining from sex, being naive about sex, called me a lesbian (even though I showed no interest in the same sex), ridiculed my clothing (tomboy/androgynous style all the way). It seemed like I was fair game for anything. Those were the worst years of my life. Bad enough that I chose to go to college 3,000 miles from home.

Now that I realize I was/am asexual, I feel somewhat relieved to know that there really wasn't anything wrong with me back then. That realization actually brings me some peace and understanding about my past.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wasn't bullied because of being asexual. More like... because I was quiet and looked vulnerable~ I'm sure they thought I was more along the lines of lesbian instead though XD. Dear me, such thick people...

Yeah, me too.

I wasn't bullied because of my asexuality, more because of my shy personality. Most people thought, that I am too shy to talk with someone I like. Later in high school they thought that I am too picky, simply too coldhearted or that I am lesbian. First I thought that too (the other things, not that I am lesbian), because I didn't know about asexuality. Now it makes sense to me, why I behaved like that.

Sometimes I still hear such comments, but no one bullies me. They shouldn't dare :evil:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not really bullied, a lot of people don't believe me, they think it is a phase, or how could I know since I have never had sex, or they think I want to live alone the rest of my life, on a side note I am a bi-romantic asexual with a much higher preference for the opposite sex, but have always had urges to kiss the same sex, not really sure why, it is normally people who I am very close too, Anyway a lot of people tried to attribute it to the fact I was sexually abused at 14, which I do believe attributed to me having no long term relationships while in school, I was very scared of guys after that, but even before that I was never like the other girls in my gym class ooing and awwing over the boys in their gym shorts, I couldnt care less, and I had no sexual attraction to girls either, once in awhile I would think of how they look unclothed but only to make myself feel better about my weight by comparing, had nothing to do with a sexual attraction, I was 15 when I first had an urge to kiss a girl and it bothered me so much that I would feel that way, I tried for years to explain it away as a one time curious occurance, but I have had urges since then and scenes of girls kissing in "The L Word" make me feel very happy inside, when it goes sexual though it doesnt interest me, I havent told anyone that I am bi-romantic, but most people know I am asexual and either ignore the fact or try to convince me I am not, but I wouldn't call that bullying, I would call it ignorance

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WhenSummersGone

I was bullied but mostly because I was shy and maybe different (gender dysphoria). I didn't know about asexuality back then.

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I was definitely extensively bullied around grade 8 (13 years of age), and at the time I didn't even know about asexuality.

Looking back on it though, they would often pick on me for not understanding their sexual jokes, (along with other things) so in part, I do believe that I was bullied for asexuality, but didn't know I was yet.

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I did in my time in the military way before there was anything about asexuality around. I never took part in the sexual banter, rarely joined the troops hitting on women at the clubs or hitting the strip clubs, and only once went to a brothel (but left very quickly), When asked about my 'latest and greatest sexperience', I always brushed it aside with things like 'Sorry, I don't kiss and tell' or 'dude, I can't top anything that's already been said', but it didn't always work so I got prodded and teased to talk about that crap.

Going out on the town, I had fun because I loved to dance, but got teased for never 'closing the deal' because I really need to 'work on my follow through', and the excuse 'she really wasn't my type' started to wear thin.

I remember a few nights sitting in Denny's all night reading a book and ordering coffee or something so i could stay there all night, then drinking from a flask before I logged back into base, just so the troops would think I was out for a night debauchery.

When asked if I was gay, I could get away with denials and saying something like "are you trying to get me kicked out of the Corps?" since it was before 'don't ask, don't tell', and I definitely wasn't gay.

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Janus the Fox

Well... When I was in high school, the word of it wasn't out there. But I did experience social isolation on part that I had complete disinterest in sex and such.

It is a weird question indeed, as even perhaps my Aspergers contributed a bit for my social isolation in school

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The Scrabbler

Surprisingly enough, I was never bullied. I was awkward, skinny, nerdy, and not at all masculine, but nobody picked on me that much. I guess I'm just so thoroughly uninteresting that nobody paid attention enough to bully me.

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No. I was bullied because of assumption of being gay.

i think this was the same experience with one bully.

i do remember one of the bully's taunts once

right, philip, lets assume you've been with one person. now, that person not being female, it means it must have been male --> this was alot harsher than the simplified way i am saying now. maybe it was bullying because of being A or not being with a member of any gender.

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Trigger Warning

I've been bullied every year of my school life so far. Though its not because Im an ace, only about 3 people know Im asexual and they are my closest friends.

I get bullied because Im different from most everyone else some how. I dont fit in at all. Some years the bullying is worse than others. 3 years ago was the worst year of bullying I've ever experienced.

I was being bullied with my best friend at the time by the majority of several different year groups (they bullied me because I was different and refused to abandon my friend) and the bullying got very physical.

The majority of it was mob-attacks where me and my mate would be chased down and cornere by about 20 students at once.

Once we were cornered they would proceed to yell abuse at us, push us around hard enough to wind and disorientate us, yank our hair with nearly enough force to pull it out, steal our stuff, and occasionally slap, hit and kick us.

Sometimes we were pushed down stairs.

During one particularily awful mob-attack behind the science block my head was smashed into a window and my friends wrist was hit against the fairly sharp metal window ledge. That was the only time I cried and it was out of anger because they hurt my friends wrist and made her cry.

We told people about the bullying, we filled in victim and witness statements and were brought in for questioning countless time but the bullying wouldnt stop.

At one point we were brought in because one of the lead bullies accused us of slapping her. We hadn't slapped her but we were about to get into more trouble for one slap than she was for nearly a years worth of physical, verbal and emotional abuse.

Anyone else notice how flawed that is? If we had slapped her it would have been out of self-defence. We just aren't allowed to defend ourselves and fight back anymore which isn't fair. The bullies get away with hitting us every day but the second we punch them back we get the back-lashing. All we could do was walk away and that doesn't help at all when you're being pursued by a mob.

Turns out the girl had slapped herself to get us in trouble.

In the end my friend moved schools despite the bullying finally being sorted out more or less. I still get bullied and harassed but none of it is as bad as that year and Im mostly desensitised to bullying now. If someone tries bullying my friends however...well I dont stand there and watch them get away with it. Lets just say that.

Im thinking of reporting the current harassment though because its really disturbing me. Some of the boys in my year have taken to trying to intimidate me by saying (in an obviously taunting way) "Vyanni I love you." and then laughing. Or giving me really creepy leering looks as though trying to make it look like they're 'checking me out'. When I look at them they wink and/or nod their head while giving me these pervy/creeper eyes and I really dont like it. Even worse is that some of them have started trying to put their arm around my shoulders which I hate even more because A) I am not a ver tactile person except around my family and B) Its just really quite distressing.

Every time one of them does it though I cant help my knee-jerk reaction of elbowing them sharping in the ribs at the same time as nearly hitting them in the face with a gaiwanuki. This is harrassment on a level I've never had to deal with before so I'll be reporting it the first chance I get.

Whoops, that was long. Sorry!

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  • 11 months later...
This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.


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