Where and when did you first learn the word 'asexuality'?

[Tool1989]

From my friend and a group that we had in school for it (LGBTA). Didn't think about being asexual because none of my friends ever talked about sexual stuff and what I did in my one relationship in high school was go to movies hold hands and cuddle. It was more than enough for me. As my friends grew older and started talking about it more, I felt more like an outsider simply because I couldn't relate to the feelings that they felt regarding sex.

[Robin L]

I found the word while reading and Wikipedia article on celibacy and abstinence.

[Misplaced]

I was going to say biology till i read the last little bit... I wanted to sound smart!

I first learned about it from a girl i met on a dating website, wonder if she uses this site. It wasn't till after a few months that i realized, maybe i was asexual too!

Ohhh here i am, so it doesn't really matter now for me.

[Arospace]

It was years ago so I'm not sure of specifics but I found it in a newspaper article at work. It was either the Toronto Star or the Globe and Mail, since we sometimes got both. I think I associated it more with my aunt, who never married, than myself at the time though.

[Phendrana]

I was in college, and it was that episode of Montel. I remember watching it and thinking, "yep, I could definitely go my whole life without sex too." At the time I was still assuming I was just a late bloomer. After that I didn't give it much thought because I hardly ever thought about sex in general. A couple years later I finally remembered what I had seen on TV and, in combination with other experiences, came to the realization that I am ace.

[Aravia]

i first heard the term asexual in science class.

[Brittany]

Yes but was it in relation to human sexuality or organisms?

[Pandora's Fox]

Sadly I cannot remember exactly where I first came across the term asexuality as an orientation which was many years ago. When I did though I started reading more about it and began to realize it fits me more than the other orientations. I used AVEN as my main source of asexuality information for years until I plucked up the courage to start posting here.

[Geno]

I heard it on the survey in this site.

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selectatest.html

[Harriet]

The first time I heard the word 'asexual' (outside of science class) was when one of my friends asked me if I was asexual. I said something like "what? I thought only plants were asexual!"

[shenanigans]

I actually first learned about asexuality (and AVEN) from this article. http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1556336/what-does-it-mean-be-asexual.jhtml

I think I googled something about having zero sexual attraction.

[sound_the_bugle]

My sister was obsessed with terms of sexuality for a while and assigning non-heterosexual terms to just about everyone. She had two friends who she called asexual, and I was I think twelve or thirteen. I just banished it off to that part of my brain that said, "Damn it sister, get over yourself" and assumed it was one of her stupid words for things that weren't really relevant or, possibly, existant. So ironically, I can actually say I thought there wasn't really such a thing, even though it turns out I'm much closer to the label than the majority of people on this planet.

[bluejeanjirl]

to the best of my recollection I first learned of the word 'asexuality' here on Aven on January 16, 2013.

I was directed, by a friend, to an article, here on the Aven forum, that was a sort of explanation of Asexuality.

[Vrenn]

I am going to sound like a complete tool admitting this (such is life), but when I was sixteen and trolling internet forums for people seeking acceptance for their own fetishes and proclivities, more out of boredom/generally being unpleasant than any directed malice, I came across the term. I mellowed out and though my biases haven't really changed I stopped putting so much stock in labels and what people did in the privacy of their own monitors, but the term stuck with me and I began using it to describe myself in circles where the word had any meaning.

Should I have waited until after I had a few dozen nice posts under my belt before admitting to being a huge closet jackass? Oh well.

[TomRiddleMeThis]

I first heard about asexuality at my job. I was working at an lgbtq safespace and it was listed in a survey-esque activity sheet that he had us fill out for an ice breaker activity. For orientation up to that point I had anyways selected Straigh or Questioning if it was an option. I had no idea what asexuality was so I Google'd what was when I got home that day and realized that that was what I was.

[Evriol]

The first time I read the term asexual was on the profile from a friend in on-line community we both visited. As I'm a naturally curious person I looked it up and after reading the wikipedia article I just thought "hey, that sounds like me!". And that was it. Perhaps I read a bit more, but I didn't have the urge to find out as much as possible about it. I had a name for what I felt and was content with that. I was 15-16 years old around that time.

Last year, I got interested in Laci Green's youtube videos and in one of them she talks about asexuality with David Jay:

At that time, I didn't think much about it, saw some posts about AVEN on tumblr (and spread the knowledge :D), but I still didn't feel like joining until the beginning of this year. Around new year's eve I had a serious discussion with one of my friends about asexuality, which really got me thinking. Hence, I decided to join.

[BookwormKaoru]

I was a freshman in high school and my friend Alex had just moved back in with her dad after living in another state with her mom for a year.

And Alex, a few other friends of mine, and I were sitting around and catching up when Alex turns to me and says "So, Kaoru. Any boyfriends since the last time I saw you?"

And shrug and shake my head "I don't date."

Then she makes this face and goes "You're not one of those asexual freaks, are you?"

Then my friend Kirk laughed and looked at me and went "She might be," then changed the subject.

I was a bit horrified, and I looked it up a few days later when it crossed my mind again, I found AVEN but read some weird thread about an alien (http://www.asexuality.org/home/node/39) and just left the site thinking it insane.

Then about a year ago I found it again and signed up. So yeah.

I kinda feel bad for Alex... She ran away from home senior year because her parents didn't like her boyfriend then her older sister went through all her stuff and took pictures of her vibrators, boxers, and other "sexy" things and posted all of it to facebook saying she "just wanted to help" her sister and that she was "disgusted" by what she had gotten herself in to.

But I also couldn't help thinking back to that day when Alex nearly ostracized me.

I guess we're alike, her and I.

I unfriended her sister after that... I wonder what happened to Alex.

[Filmfan]

I don't remember when I first heard the term "asexual" applied to humans. I do remember the first time I used it, though. I had some really man-hungry co-workers when I was around 22, and they kept insisting that I had to be like them. I finally yelled out, "From now on, just think of me as asexual!" It wasn't until later that I found out that was a real term.

So, I guess I found out about it through my own imagination/logical conclusion? ;)

[Ness09]

I don't really remember what exactly I was watching on TV, it was some competition about designing clothes and one of the contestants stated he was asexual, so I looked it up on the internet. At that point I didn't realize it applied to me

[Deathpose Wally]

I was in my early teens (I think around 14ish). After being relentlessly questioned by my friends about who I had a crush on, I got home and googled something to the extent of "I'm not attracted to girls or boys". I bet you can guess what the search revealed! It didn't really affect how I viewed anything, just an "Oh, that explains it."

[deleted_user_072223]

CBC.Radio.Girl: "There is a minority group out there that has absolutely no interest affirming love by exchanging bodily fluids..." This is absolutely hilarious. And... exactly my perspective on sex. XD (No offense meant, sexual people!)

I found out about asexuality, ironically, when I was fourteen and researching abstinence and celibacy. I had only recently realized that people actually had sex other than to reproduce (or maybe I thought just a few people did it for other reasons). I remember being horrified and repulsed (no moral judgment - just a shocker for me), and I wondered if I'd ever be able to do that, especially since I wanted marriage and kids - I had always considered myself straight, since I knew I liked guys and in fact had more crushes as a kid than anyone else I knew. At the time, I assumed I'd be able to put up with it when I was married - but then again, I also assumed that the average frequency between married couples was maybe a few times per year, tops, and more likely once every few years. So I tried to latch onto the "virgin until marriage" group, though I soon found out I didn't fit in with those saying "sex is special," as I thought sex was... yuck. The Wikipedia pages on abstinence/celibacy had a link to asexuality, which I found interesting and thought it might fit me. I mentioned it to my mom (it's key to mention that I was hesitant and bouncing ideas, not really "coming out"), but due in part to my age and far more because of my absolute horror toward sex, she suggested I not "stick myself down to a label." I forgot about it for at least six months before looking it up again and realizing that I was, indeed, asexual. Thankfully, this time, my mom was totally accepting.

Ironically, after discovering AVEN, I still had some hesitance about assigning myself the label/identity for a while, but for the opposite reason than many: because I had no libido whatsoever, and I got the impression that most (or possibly all) asexuals did. Odd how that can go both ways, huh?

Hard to believe it's been so long (almost six years now)... How the teen years do go by!

[R_1]

When I was 14, I already knew a+sexual(sexual attraction) = asexual=lack of sexual attraction and I knew about this site. So, can't answer.

[Guest]

The very first memory I have of it was back when I was in a relationship, at age 17, and my partner knew about my disinterest in sex... so they once mentioned that, according to Freud, dreaming flowers was one of the many metaphors for sexual desire, or something along those lines. I told them that I'd never dreamt of flowers before. We then proceeded to discuss about my dream experiences and, at the end, they said, "You're completely asexual".

I wonder why I didn't google it back then! I probably thought it was a term they'd made up.

[Dirge]

I first found the term while looking up Emilie Autumn on TV Tropes. I'll always be grateful to her and to the site for that.

[Kellam]

During a payday piss up at a bar, when I was in my early 20's, with coworkers. Several of them were making fun of one of the people who was rarely invited to such functions. They said that she called herself asexual and that it was just a stupid lie. They said that it was fake and impossible. They went on to say she was just a goth who wanted to be like Morisey. That it was a fettish at best. Made me feel so damn low I just shoved my true feelings deep down inside and started up a terrible drinking habbit instead.

[Seraph's Embrace]

I first came across the term when a close friend/to-be partner of mine came out when I was 15, trying to test the waters for a wider coming out. The fact that I associated and didn't see it as anything remarkable apparently took her completely by surprise :P

[Grumpy Alien]

I can't remember. Probably the internet within the past couple years.

[crescens]

I was probably 19 or 20. I was talking to a friend of mine about how I wasn't attracted to anyone and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. He was the one that told me about the term asexual. I identified with everything, but I didn't come to terms with it then. I was in sort of denial about it because I still felt like I was "supposed" to be in relationships that were sexual because that's what we're all "supposed to do" and kept thinking something was wrong . It had always been in the back of my head until it hit me finally earlier this year.

[Pepipanda]

I put "indifferent" for the last question, but that's just because my real reaction was not listed. I read about it, found it interesting, and did *not* connect it to myself (even though it was exactly what I was searching for...). Bascially, just like how winning the lottery is something that only seems to happen to other people, so did sexual orientations seem to me to be things that only other people had (wonderful logic there...). So I thought "asexuality" was interesting, but irrelevant to me. Took a while to come back and realize what I was missing. :)

[That asexual guy]

I was watching Lawrence of Arabia and decided to read a little more about him. I related to his person life. I was already in my 40s.