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Where and when did you first learn the word 'asexuality'?


ithaca

How did you get to AVEN, basically...  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. I've heard/read the word 'asexual'/'asexuality' the first time:

    • From friends/peers
      70
    • From family
      9
    • I was trying to understand my (or my partner's) feelings and I tried googling "a+sexual", "no sexual attraction" (or something along these lines) to see if it made any sense
      65
    • At school/sex ed class (please specify)
      7
    • From TV (please specify)
      12
    • From press articles/books (please specify)
      20
    • In the LGBTQ club I hang out with
      6
    • On tumblr
      27
    • On Facebook/Twitter
      4
    • Randomly elsewhere on the internet
      99
    • A friend/partner/family/acquaintance came out to me as asexual
      7
    • TVtropes
      16
    • Wikipedia
      33
    • I don't remember at all
      29
    • I just like polls, I don't care about answering
      0
    • I'd choose one of the above but I'm not 100% sure
      15
    • Elsewhere (please specify)
      18
  2. 2. How old were you the first time you heard the word 'asexual'/'asexuality'?

    • younger than 12
      4
    • 12-14
      53
    • 15-17
      151
    • 18-20
      105
    • 21-25
      67
    • 26-30
      21
    • 31-35
      11
    • 36-40
      8
    • 41-45
      1
    • older than 45
      4
    • I honestly don't remember
      12
    • I just like polls, I don't care about answering
      0
  3. 3. The first time you heard/read something about asexuality, what impression did you have?

    • It was a good explanation and I found it useful
      162
    • It was all mixed up with celibacy and other stuff, but I had a good impression anyway
      7
    • It was all mixed up with celibacy and other stuff, and I had a bad impression from it
      12
    • It was something/someone making fun of asexuality
      8
    • At first I didn't believe it was a real thing
      24
    • I was really curious and went to read more
      165
    • I didn't like what I read the first time, at all
      5
    • It left me indifferent
      33
    • I honestly don't remember
      21
    • I just like polls, I don't care about answering
      0

This poll is closed to new votes


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I realize I never answered how I found this site. I do remember coming across the site via a link in the LJ Asexuality community in January 2011. However, I think I may have come across AVEN prior to that, likely around the time I started identifying as Asexual. But if I did, then I don't really remember.

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A friend of mine came out as aromantic asexual in high school, and I kind of assumed that all asexuals had no interest in romantic relationships. Because I've always been romantically interested in women, I thought that I couldn't possibly be anywhere on the spectrum, and spent the next five years or so very confused and frustrated.

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  • 1 month later...

I first heard the word in biology class, but it meant stuff like budding, etc. I'd been calling myself asexual as a joke for years, not realizing that it was a real thing. I saw the documentary asexual a few days ago on Netflix and that was when everything was explained to me. My husband and I are "seperated but still in the same house"-this happened a week before I saw the documentary. We are "separated" because we have a daughter, but he got tired of my asexuality. He has an open relationship now as long as he doesn't bring anyone home.

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I first heard about asexuality shortly after I turned 14. Before then I'd already been searching for a way to explain my lack of interest in sex and boys other than just saying 'I dont want sex'. I actually first came across it on a random quiz that stated I might be asexual. I didnt go any deeper though becuase it had a brief explination in the result as well.

Then, a few months later I was looking it up again and came across asexuality.

Though it didnt really click until 3 months or so ago when I wa looking up mental disorders on wikipedia. Somehow my research led me to sexual disorders and the kinsey scale.

On one of those pages there was a link to asexuality and other sexualities as they were briefly mentioned on the pages. I went on to those pages as well and found that the term 'asexual' fitted me pretty well so from then on I started to do some serious research into it.

Then I found AVEN. :)

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Wikipedia article, and then probably link-hopping :) It was in the early 2006 when I was 24. It made sense to me, especially when I read the FAQs.

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A Taste of Harmony

Some Internet newspaper article in 2012

I can't remember which newspaper article.

I googled asexuality, then AVEN appeared.

31-35

My initial interests were more like new scientific discovery type of curiosity.

I actually not seriously thought about my romantic or sexual orientation of myself up to that point.

Those things are/were just not my priority at all.

After reading informations from AVEN then I started to apply some of those explanations to myself and I'm here!

Currently I'm just exploring and observing what other people are doing. It's fascinating.

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I didn't need to discover the word asexual; after learning about orientations like homosexual, bisexual and pansexual, it seemed intuitive to attach the prefix 'a' to make the word asexual. What I discovered while hopping around Reddit was the asexual movement and AVEN itself.

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I thought I invented the word asexuality - I was using it to describe myself since I was 14 and I didn't have the internet then. I was 18 when I discovered that it was actually a real thing. I even manage to predict the romantic asexualities as well, before I ever stumbled onto aven. Was quite proud of myself.

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RainbowEuphoria

I first heard asexual used as a sexual orientation when I was 18 in my first year of college which was last year. One of my close friends and I went to a panel about asexuality that was held at a summit for local GSAs. We later decided on our own, after some thinking and more reading, that Asexuality applied to both of us. We are two of the three asexuals at my school, though there could always be more that I don't know about.

I am somewhere between asexual and sexual. And I idenitify with many different lables so I feel very connected with the LGBTQ community as well because I know that I am undoubtedly bi or pan. And queer too because I just like the sound of it and because I do have interest in queer politics.

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I used the term in middle school as an excuse not to date, but I didn't accept it as a sexuality. It was more like a joke. I assumed eventually I'd meet the right guy and fall in love. Then, as I got older, I searched the internet for the term. I found this site, but it seemed dominated by people who were afraid of sex and romantic relationships, as opposed to people who just weren't interested in it, so I didn't relate. I didn't want to seriously adopt an asexual identity, because I was afraid of facing judgment from my family. So even though it made sense, I was more afraid of being a closeted ace than an unhappy straight person.

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"I just like polls, I don't care about answering" XD I laughed at that every single time.

Anyway, the first time I heard about asexuality was from a 20/20 special on it when I was 15 and I remember thinking that it was a bunch of bs, plus I had it confused with celibacy, I guess? I dunno. I feel like I was such an intolerant child looking back on that, but whatever I'm better now, lol!

After that I didn't hear anything about it for another...6 years, I believe, where I read a fic featuring an asexual character in a romantic relationship with a sexual character (with an open relationship maybe? it doesn't matter). I also, um, had a negative reaction to asexuality that time, because I thought the character was just trying to be all "special" or something, I don't know, I don't like the character very much.

Anyway, the fic linked to AVEN which I explored a bit (and read the whole FAQ) and I sort of forgot about asexuality for a few months until I ended up having a couple turbulent months of discovering my own asexuality and now here I am, lol.

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I discovered asexuality sometime back when in 2008/2009, from the TVTropes page about it. I remember thinking it was interesting and wishing I was one, because sex seemed like such a hassle and I was mildly freaked out about growing up and suddenly having this mystical libido that "forced" me to like random people. In hindsight it was kind of obvious that I was sex-repulsed. At the time I hadn't even had my first period yet, so I assumed I would grow up and be heterosexual.

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Naruto cause fans usually joke and say that one of the characters is asexual cause basically almost every girl in the manga falls for him yet he rejects all of them. xD

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-A friend was telling me how he thinks a teacher is asexual. I decided to look it up and found out the term fit me 100%.

-I was 16, a junior in high school.

-I was curious and looked more into it, and then found AVEN :)

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I learned about asexuality on another forum. At first, I didn't think that it described me very well. Then with time, I realized that I actually was asexual.

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Seriously embarrassing but the guy I was dating at the time was apparently frustrated with our lack of sex in the relationship. He might have just been trying to appear macho in front of his guy friends but called me asexual, most likely referring to the biological term. I nevertheless googled it and the rest is cake history! :lol:

And now I have my ace pride. ;)

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The first time must have been when I were 18 when me and my friend talked about sexuality at lunch in school. I had never really though about my own sexuality and I said that I weren't certain and that I liked both sexes but didn't really want the sex. (don't remember exactly what I said) Then he told me that I might be Asexual, when he explained what it was I thought that it must be wrong, I have just not found the right person. It was first half a year or a year later when we came back to the discussion about my sexuality that I actually became interested in looking up asexuality just to see what it was about. And then I found AVEN some months ago.

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I was 18 before I even read about asexuality and prior knew absolutely nothing about it. I couldn't understand why I didn't feel sexual or romantic attraction towards people which had bothered me since my early teens. So I typed in "No sex drive" and saw that a lot of explanations on websites were some sore of illness/disorder. Then I typed in "no sexual attraction" and discovered asexuality. It was good to know I wasn't broken or ill.

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lilyisntaweirdo

I was actually reading the Big Bang Theory wiki page for Sheldon xD

I love simply collecting information in my head, so, being the first time I'd discovered the word, I had a bit of a Google and found out a little more. At the time I must have been about 12, and it didn't hit me on a personal level, although I was curious about this new sexuality I'd never heard of. Who knew, a few years later, I'd come out as asexual myself. ^_^

I actually forgot most of the details, other than my slightly wrong recollection that asexual people don't fancy anyone. It came up when my two best friends told me they were lesbians, and asked if I had any interest in getting a boyfriend in the same way that they wanted girlfriends. What was really confusing to them was that I didn't :D

That was when I Googled asexual again, and came across AVEN, which helped me to prove to myself that I am in fact asexual. :cake:

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was in middle school when I heard about it once, though I don't remember if someone just described it to me or if they used the actual term asexual It struck me as weird and kind of sad but the idea seemed really distant. I would have never believed that I was asexual myself. This was just when people my age were becoming interested in boys and I I just assumed I was heterosexual since it seemed perfectly reasonable that I was either hadn't finished going through puberty or really hadn't met the right person yet. It wasn't till high school when I really started to question my sexuality that i discovered the term on Wikipedia. When reading about it unlike some people I didn't really think that it described me at first glance. I was able to recognize and appreciate good looking people and i didn't yet understand what a difference not actually wanting to say physically touch them made. Plus i really just didn't want to be asexual.But the term stuck with me and later when i did more in depth soul searching the term came back to me. I did more in depth research and realized that the term fit me. Now i have to take a step back and remember that most people outside of aven don't know about or don't understand the term asexual.

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I read the BBC News article on the 17th January 2012 and at exactly 12:17pm, my life was altered forever in the best possible way.

I'm 37 (36 then)

The article was very well written and had a link to Aven which I clicked as soon as I'd finished reading. Just skim reading the Aven front page was enough to tell me that I'd come home.

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Whilst reading about prolific bad guy serial killer and damned handsome man, Dexter Morgan, :wub: I stumbled upon a word that was used to describe him. It was almost like Harry himself was talking to me and something inside my mindbox clicked. A press of my mouse button linked me to this term and that led to me to a World that I didn't believe could exist.

Que tears. Lots of tears. For about 2 days. Life changed. Life saved. Happier more peaceful times ahead :wub::cake: :)

Love you all :wub:

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Striped Sweater

Talking with some friends about porn and said I never read/watched it before, because I had no interest in sex. After feeling like "holy shit, I'm a freak" for a few minutes, I Googled something along the lines of "why am I not interested in sex?" I found the Wikipedia page on asexuality. I read it, thought "yup, that's me...sure explains a lot," and pretty much immediately accepted it. I was 19.

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I was actually almost 30 before it dawned on me that the lack of attraction I was experiencing wasn't typical. So I internet searched "not attracted to men or women." I think it linked me to some random articles first & I wasn't sure if it fit me or not. Then eventually I explored AVEN & here I am!

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My sister and I were have a long conversation about sexuality and sexual repression (which some people thought I was in high school-actually I was talking to her about how someone had accused me of being repressed*) and she briefly mentioned she had heard on the Internet about people who had no interest in sex (asexuality). I thought, hmm, that sounds vaguely like me. I was sort of happy to realize there were others like me, but I didn't get here until after I moved to college and watched the documentary called (a)sexual. I marked that my family was the first place cause it was the first time it was explained in any amount that made sense.

I marked that I was curious and read more, because I did read more on it. However, because of some of my peers in high school, I was afraid to confirm that I might be different. Therefore, I looked it up in more detail over the summer, especially after a camp I went to. College was where I first started thinking of myself in these terms.

*ironically, my parents were more open to talk honestly about sex than that person's parents. I never felt repressed. I knew what sex was and everything, it just never seemed intersting. My parents were always willing to talk about anything with us kids, including sex.

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tumblr_m8z13xkzp51qc6t5ro1_250.jpg
I saw this image on another website around last spring. Did a little research because asexual and pansexual were new to me. Then it hit me, "That makes so much sense".

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Waist of Thyme

I was 12, and it was at school. I mentioned that I didn't and never have liked anyone, and someone said I was asexual.

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