Where and when did you first learn the word 'asexuality'?

[Diceman]

I was googling trying to figure out why in a 3 year relationship I was never interested in having sex despite being aesthetically attracted to my girlfriend. After dozens of webpages trying to convince me I was secretly gay (I'm sorry Internet, you can keep telling me that, but in the end dudes are gross. I don't even know why girls like em.) this was the first website that had a different explanation for it. Fit like a glove.

[SydC]

I was about 17 (so this was around seven years ago) and watching a newscast that included a clip of an interview David Jay did on The View. The things he was describing resonated with my own experiences and I decided to look into AVEN. Though I didn't join at the time, what I read on the site described much of what I'd been going through perfectly and really helped to let me know that I wasn't alone in my feelings.

[LunaAminta]

I was on a LGBTQ site researching more about "transgender" because of a M to F family member when I came across the different flags. Being a naturally curious person I went through and read the description for every flag. At the time I was younger and believed that I simply had not matured enough yet to experience sexual attraction, or that possibly I was homosexual so I did not pay much attention to the asexual description. But, later someone described being bisexual as the opposite of being asexual (which it is not) and reminded me of that site. I did further research off and on for a year or so before stumbling across this community.

[Froggie]

Of all places, it was a story on fanfiction.net. Can't remember the exact story, but *shrugs*. I think a friend sent me something else the person had written, and I was browsing through their other stuff, seeing as non-porn, non-offensive, well-written can be hard to come by there. ^^'

It took me about a year to actually look further into it; although I was curious, I was scared.

[Veritastar]

Can't remember exactly, but I think I learned it from something I stumbled upon using the StumbleUpon addon.

[NoodlePan]

I was on wikipedia looking up Morrissey. There his sexuality was explained as asexual, so I decided to look deeper into it.

[FOXracingfan]

My friends and I were talking about all the different sexualities (I was secretly trying to find one that suited me) and he mentioned asexuality. When I asked what that was he said "It's people who don't like boys or girls or anyone really." And I sat there thinking, "dang, I like guys. I just don't want to have sex with them. Guess that's not me...." Then I just started reading more about asexuality online a few days later out of curiosity.

[libra4ever]

I remember reading about in a book by Alfred Kinsey, i think it was the Kinsey report.

[ithaca]

Oh wow, as of today 358 members have voted. This has turned out far more interesting then I expected when I started the poll. Cake for you all!

[HighViolet]

I googled it to understand my sexuality, so I probably ended up on Wikipedia, read about it on Tumblr aswell as I'm an user there, I must have been 18-19 when I've known about it with the proper definition (I've been hearing the term all my life but it was considered as something childish, I don't know how to explain it, but like that phase where children 'hate' the opposite sex and boys will say "girls, how shiiiite!" and the other way round, just applied to adults) and I wanted to know more about that!

[Guest]

My Earth and Space Science teacher in high school mentioned what asexuality was in Grade 11.

My initial reaction was "That's a neat piece of trivia"

It wasn't until a year later I realized it could apply to me.

[tommy92]

I thought I heard it the first time about one and a half months ago, but I recently remembered that about 2-3 years earlier, our religion teacher in vocational school was talking about asexuality...of course he had a wrong perception...his definition of asexuality was that everyone is sexual, but if one is distracted by something, e.g. immersed in a game and therefore not thinking about sex, he becomes asexual as long as one is in this state...all I thought "yeah 'just when you are distracted' "

never looked further into it though... (of course until I saw the term the second time about one and a half months ago^^)

I never really listened to this teacher...it was always "let him talk, but I won't be listening"...I can be kind of a jerk sometimes :(

[Guest]

I googled something along the lines of "why don't i have sexual attraction" when i was like 16/17 and I found SwankIvy's youtube channel and after seeing a bunch of her videos I was like "no way that can't happen to me" so I tried to not think about it for a while. After lots of denial and trying to be "normal" I finally accepted it.

[earwax]

TV (YouTube clip of a talk show)

21-25 (23)

curious (from the initial mention in the clip, then after finding AVEN, I thought it was a good explanation)

I haven't yet read all the comments to know if anyone else has had this experience, but a little less than a year ago, I was wasting time on YouTube, watching interviews with the Sherlock cast, when I came across one where Benedict Cumberbatch says that a fan once thanked him "on behalf of asexuals." I had never identified as any of the sexual minorities, but it's a subject I like to keep up-to-date on, so I looked it up. I ended up on AVEN, realizing I may actually be asexual.

Here's the video. Asexuality is mentioned about five minutes in.

"Benedict Cumberbatch on Alan Carr: Chatty Man"

[tuvok]

I watch Sourcefed on youtube.

In a recent table talk Phillip, Steve and Trisha did an intro about sex etiquette.

Phillip mentioned that morning wood leads to the worst sex because he wasn't "aroused".

That stumbled me because I actually thought that about all sex. An erection is what arousal feels like, right?

Then they did a piece where they had Lacie Green over as host.

She had a video about asexuality and I got here.

At first I was pissed off actually.

the Q&A was written in a way that I thought well obviously, that is how everybody feels.

Then I did some more research and found that this was actually a thing. And suddenly I was alone.

I found the 2004 UK study that claims that only 1% identifies this way.

This meant that everything has been a lie.

I thought well I can't be ace since I do x,y,z...

Then further reading told me that wasn't true...

This got me in a tailspin where I had to rethink every moment where sex or attraction was involved.

A few days later I came here and told my story...

My feet could barely reach the ground that next day. I was ace I did not care who knew.

A coworker (totally unrelated)

told me yesterday he was satisfied with my job performance. Most men my age is all about fast cars and women. He could tell I had much more on my mind.

I almost came out to him but thought that might be oversharing so I didn't

[midrashim]

I learn the word in the year 2009 while watching a documental in Discovery Channel about it.
My first impression was: "WOW! Could it be that I am asexual?" and starting from this moment I started to question my own identity until I realized that I am under the asexuality umbrella.

[paper_head]

I don't really remember when, but it had to do with a guy saying that his sister would always be "totally asexual" to him. That was followed by looking it up on wikipedia and discovering the meaning and identifying with it, I suppose.

[abacct]

I have a group of internet friends since I was eleven. When I was thirteen, one of them came out as a lesbian and she posted a link to a tumblr blog with stuff about sexual orientations. I decided to look and I found asexuality. Curious, I looked it up, and I instantly related. I had just be complaining the previous day about how I couldn't understand why people were so into sex and relationships and I just wanted a best friend that I was emotionally intimate with, so I mentally thank that friend everyday for being an answer out of the blue.

[Dirk Gently]

Accidentially stumbled over a thread in a forum where I was active back then. It had nothing to do with sexuality by far, but in the offtopic section, someone asked if there where more asexuals on that board.

It was like a slap in the face - but a very positive one :D - I started to read through the AVEN pages and just found myself there. I have never heard about Asexuality before and I was so happy to find out that I am pretty normal that way.

[Diorite]

The first time I heard the word "asexuality" was in my society class during high school of this past year. I peer in my class mentioned the word and I decided to look it up.

[Godot]

I began reading a character analysis of Sherlock Holmes (the BBC series version) which led me to an online newspaper which led me to a blog and finally a description of asexuality.

[Alkamar]

First heard the word in science class, 7th grade. They weren't talking about humans. I first learned about asexuality as it relates to human behavior in behavioral science class, first year of college.

[GeoAmy]

Maybe 3 years ago I came up with the term myself when I was trying to explain why I was most interested in the "companionship" piece of a relationship and not sex. I googled it and quickly found my way here. It seemed to fit, but I wasn't sure since I liked pleasuring myself. I then proceeded to waste a few months in therapy only to be told I needed to sign up for online dating. That lead to a guy that expected a BJ on the 3rd date, which horrified me for a couple of years. I then had my most serious relationship ever that lasted a whole 3 months without much of a physical component and got dumped. Unfortunately that made me sad and somewhat depressed over being single for the next 2 years. In June I was challenged about being gay and found myself back here. This time I found the grey area and realized I do fit! Interestingly, this was just a few weeks before my 40th birthday. While I'm rather liberated now that I can explain why getting dates is so hard, it's also annoying It took me so long to figure it out. I've lived a long time not realizing I was different and trying to be something I'm not. Luckily I've met up with a few fellow aces in my community that are great. I'm just a little jealous they figured it out so young and don't have to wonder why they are a failure in the dating world. So that's my story...

[Significant Form]

At age 16, I was browsing the forums for XKCD, and it came up in a thread somewhere. I don't remember what the discussion was about, but I remember wishing I was like that (I did not realize that romantic orientation and sexual orientation were separate, and I assumed that I was sexual because, according to Conservative Protestantism, to be male-bodied is to be constantly horny, and so I misconstrued my aesthetic and romantic attractions as sexual) because I was sick to death of having an unrequited crush on my best friend. It was another 2.5 years before I even began to suspect that the term could possibly apply to me.

[Lady Girl]

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

Lady Girl, Moderator