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Where and when did you first learn the word 'asexuality'?


ithaca

How did you get to AVEN, basically...  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. I've heard/read the word 'asexual'/'asexuality' the first time:

    • From friends/peers
      70
    • From family
      9
    • I was trying to understand my (or my partner's) feelings and I tried googling "a+sexual", "no sexual attraction" (or something along these lines) to see if it made any sense
      65
    • At school/sex ed class (please specify)
      7
    • From TV (please specify)
      12
    • From press articles/books (please specify)
      20
    • In the LGBTQ club I hang out with
      6
    • On tumblr
      27
    • On Facebook/Twitter
      4
    • Randomly elsewhere on the internet
      99
    • A friend/partner/family/acquaintance came out to me as asexual
      7
    • TVtropes
      16
    • Wikipedia
      33
    • I don't remember at all
      29
    • I just like polls, I don't care about answering
      0
    • I'd choose one of the above but I'm not 100% sure
      15
    • Elsewhere (please specify)
      18
  2. 2. How old were you the first time you heard the word 'asexual'/'asexuality'?

    • younger than 12
      4
    • 12-14
      53
    • 15-17
      151
    • 18-20
      105
    • 21-25
      67
    • 26-30
      21
    • 31-35
      11
    • 36-40
      8
    • 41-45
      1
    • older than 45
      4
    • I honestly don't remember
      12
    • I just like polls, I don't care about answering
      0
  3. 3. The first time you heard/read something about asexuality, what impression did you have?

    • It was a good explanation and I found it useful
      162
    • It was all mixed up with celibacy and other stuff, but I had a good impression anyway
      7
    • It was all mixed up with celibacy and other stuff, and I had a bad impression from it
      12
    • It was something/someone making fun of asexuality
      8
    • At first I didn't believe it was a real thing
      24
    • I was really curious and went to read more
      165
    • I didn't like what I read the first time, at all
      5
    • It left me indifferent
      33
    • I honestly don't remember
      21
    • I just like polls, I don't care about answering
      0

This poll is closed to new votes


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Hello!

I was wondering how the other AVENites found out that 'asexuality' is actually a word and it exists. I know most of us have probably learned much of asexuality on AVEN, but how did you find AVEN? What made you type "asexuality" on the search engine you use?

I know I remember when I was in high school I randomly read an article on an English magazine I found in a bar, that mentioned asexuality. I don't remember what magazine it was, all I remember is that it made a big deal of these people who were not interested in sex. If I recall correctly, it was probably the usual garbage confusing asexuality and celibacy, or "the next stage of evolution" or something. It put me off so bad, that's for sure! 'Cause it took me something liek 7 or 8 years to google asexuality after reading that :lol:

Then I found AVEN, back in December 2011, and it was a lot more clear, so much that it clicked immediately!

How about you all?

EDIT: For all of the English speakers (who use 'asexuality' also for asexual reproduction) I do not mean 'asexuality' as you learn it in biology class, but as an orientation/something along these lines.

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First time I remember hearing the word was when a pal of mine told me that his mum asked him about me, "Is [M.I.] bi?" And he answered her "No... a." :lol: We must have been 18, 19ish back then.

Back then, I didn't think he got it right. (Before I read up on AVEN, I was pretty sure that me having a libido and masturbating means I can't be asexual, much as I was certain I was never going to have sex in my life.)

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I added TVtropes, let me know if I need to change any votes for you :)

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Notte stellata

A few years ago from some online article about TBBT, which pointed out Sheldon is asexual. But it didn't fully explain what asexual means, so I thought all asexuals were like Sheldon - no interest in sex AND romantic relationships, and repulsed by any physical contact. That's why I didn't associate the term with myself at all back then (also I just assumed I'd be into sex eventually at that time).

When I read about it I thought it's interesting, but wasn't curious enough to research more, so I voted for "indifferent" in the last question.

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I haven't voted yet, because the first time I actually heard the term was here, on AVEN. I think I was googling something like "no sexual attraction" and it led me here. So maybe that should be an option as well, heard it first on AVEN?

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I first heard about it in high school science class... In terms of reproduction, that is. When I first heard of it as an orientation... I was 21 and came across a video of the Asexuality segment on 20/20. After that, it's all a blur, though I think I started identifying as Asexual in either late '07 or early-mid '08 as I was 22 at the time.

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I haven't voted yet, because the first time I actually heard the term was here, on AVEN. I think I was googling something like "no sexual attraction" and it led me here. So maybe that should be an option as well, heard it first on AVEN?

I have edited one of the answers a bit. I haven't put AVEN because I am trying to understand how people found AVEN, so maybe the "googling something about my feelings" is better now? :)

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I haven't voted yet, because the first time I actually heard the term was here, on AVEN. I think I was googling something like "no sexual attraction" and it led me here. So maybe that should be an option as well, heard it first on AVEN?

I have edited one of the answers a bit. I haven't put AVEN because I am trying to understand how people found AVEN, so maybe the "googling something about my feelings" is better now? :)

I'll take that, thanks. I guess there's gonna be a generational divide, because back in the day when I found AVEN there was hardly anything else on the internet about asexuality, whereas nowadays they have asexual characters on TV.

PS: Good poll, by the way. It's always interesting to have some statistics about these things. :cake:

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8 years ago (almost) reading an article in the Daily Mail and I thought 'Yep, that's me'. Asexuality.org was mentioned, Googled and here I (still) am.

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Nomad in Stasis

The first time I learned abou was in my Psychology class at school. We were discussing orientations, and I knew i didn't fit into any of them we discussed so far, so at the end of the class I asked my instructor what she knew or if she could define people who were still interested in seeking a romantic relationship, but was not interested in sex. She told me that was likely asexuality and told me if I wished to learn more to look at a website called AVEN.

I was 19 when I first heard about it.

I would say I was very interested in learning all I coul about it after hearing about it.

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I saw an article on BBC News earlier this year and thought "Hey, I thought I was the only one!"

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Oh look at David ages ago :o Thanks for putting the effort into taking pictures and all, CBC :)

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Kitty Spoon Train

I remember the exact article in which I first read about asexuality - this one.

But at the time I was in a committed relationship which was sexual (I'm demi), so I didn't think much of it at the time. It was only after that relationship ended (in 2007), and I'd been single for over five years, that I started to connect the dots. One of the defining moments came last year when a friend asked me how I'm going with "not getting laid for so long". The fact that I was completely oblivious to why that can possibly be a problem for me connected a few dots. :D

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One day, my sister told me about a documentary about asexuality that she saw on the Discovery Channel. First I was like, "Asexuality? Doesn't that mean a creature reproducing on its own?" (Yes, I know, that's what everyone says.) Then she briefly explained to me what it really meant. Some time later, when I was 15 (not too long ago), I found out I'm asexual myself by looking up asexuality on the internet. YAY :cake:

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Well, I'm a bit of a Wikipedia junkie, so I naturally found out about asexuality on that site when I was 16 or 17 (I think I was reading an article about sexual orientation, which included a link to the asexuality article). The article also had a link to AVEN, so that's how I ended up here.

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I'm kind of old-school. I don't even think AVEN existed yet when I came across the Haven for the Human Amoebae, a Yahoo! group for people who did not experience sexual attraction. This was around 2001 or so. We were just, I don't know, maybe 50 or so people with no cake, purple shirts nor even a logo and no word to call ourselves who had kind of stumbled across this weird group and had this huge set of epiphanies together. Suddenly we weren't broken people! So I think the thing that is missing from this poll is in the reaction section: my reaction was a life-changing period of euphoria. I went from severely depressed, broken over failed relationships, and riddled with chronic psychoses to a healthy, well adjusted human in the space of a few years as more and more stuff about this newfangled "asexuality" came to light and I could finally find peace with myself. I think the thing I've enjoyed watching as this movement has grown is seeing how people now have this easy to find place where they can learn about themselves. It's awesome to see the younger generations capable of realising their fabric and having a community to help support them through it all.

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* Elsewhere on the internet (on another forum)

* 15-17 (Either 16 or 17)

* At first I didn't believe it was a real thing (Because the forum that I was reading mentioned it casually and a bunch of people chimed in saying that the people claiming to be ace were lying. It didn't interest me at the time (I barely even noticed it) so I guess that was probably my impression. I didn't research it until three or four years later.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

- Really can't remember how and when it came about :<

- 21-25

- The information I found was quite helpful and enlightening *nodnod* at the time anyway, a year later I'm more confused and bewildered than I was back then xDD

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I first learned about asexuality as a thing from that interview in which Emilie Autumn first came out as asexual, but I had always sort of figured it existed, or at least was possible. I was sixteen, and conflated asexuality with aromanticism, so I assumed it didn't fit me at the time.

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First time I heard about asexuality wasn't in the context of the sexual orientation, but was in studying biology and dealing with asexual reproduction. I started to use the term before I even knew it was an official term to explain my lack of interest or desire for sex, mostly because the term just made sense to me. It was several years later before I found asexuality online, and I don't remember that situation.

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I first heard the term as an orientation on House. I was sorta interested, but not enough to look into it at that point. Later, because my lack of interest in sex was causing issues in my relationship I started googling low libido etc. Eventually came across a forum that one person mentioned asexuality on, remembered the House episode, decided to google asexual and found Aven. I was 25.

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WhenSummersGone

I think I heard the term a few times and I thought it meant people who are full of themselves and don't like anybody, I guess partly true. So I went online and googled it and I was really really wrong with how I was using the word. I think I learned a lot more about it by joining this site. I was really curious about it so that's what made me want to understand what it means. Also I thought the last guy I dated might be asexual, turns out he isn't, so I just felt like looking it up. Turns out I, myself, could relate to the word asexual. Had no idea that's what it meant and I wish I knew about it back in 2004, before having casual sex that I didn't really enjoy.

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I sort of.. intuited it. If that makes sense.

As I recall the thought process went something like this:

There are people who are attracted to the same sex, homosexual; people who are attracted to the opposite sex, heterosexual; and people who are attracted to both sexes, bisexual. And by that line of reasoning, there should also be some people who aren't attracted to either sex.

I sort of had this inkling that if it did exist, it would probably be called 'asexuality', but i didn't have enough confidence in my inference to google it, so I went to the Wikipedia page for Bisexuality, and, sure enough, there on the right hand side of the page were links to the other sexualties, including asexuality.

And so I started learning.

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The first time I heard about asexuality, it was on Memebase.com. Literally, it was a screenshot of some article from some website of an asexual girl and her boyfriend, captioned something like "This asexual girl is in a relationship with this sexual guy" or whatever. It was then screenshot again and put on 4chan with a comment underneath it saying something like "that guy got friend zoned so hard he made the news"

I never knew that "asexuality" could apply to humans, since I only ever heard it in reference to plants. So I googled it, and then I realized that the excuses I kept pulling out of my butt all these years didn't have to be excuses anymore.

Also, now ever ytime I see that image floating around I get mad. I guess

I was 19. I wish i had known sooner, it could have saved me a lot of trouble in relationships, and a lot less stress.

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I voted "I didn't like what I read at all" because I was ashamed in myself. At the time, I just wanted to be normal and I was quite depressed from it. I'm not even sure I'm quite over that now....

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Janus the Fox

I don't remember much, but I found it randomly. As I got more curious about it, it actually struck me down to how it actually relates to me. I read it up on Wikipedia first over a year ago that had a slightly different meaning to what it has these days "Lack of sexual attraction or libido" which changed. Then links to AVEN brought me here and...here I am! ^_^

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The first time I heard about asexuality, it was on Memebase.com. Literally, it was a screenshot of some article from some website of an asexual girl and her boyfriend, captioned something like "This asexual girl is in a relationship with this sexual guy" or whatever. It was then screenshot again and put on 4chan with a comment underneath it saying something like "that guy got friend zoned so hard he made the news"

Was it the article with Jenni Goodchild and her boyfriend? ^_^ http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16552173

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