Hermit crabbies Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Hi guys, I'm looking for a little advice on joining and LGBTQ Alliance group at my college. I'm only really out as asexual to three people, two of which keep looking for other explanations. This makes me a little sad, because part of their argument against my sexuality is that I just need to experience sexual contact to want it. To me, that's like being told you should gargle spiders on the off chance you'll enjoy it. Good for you, but no thanks, I'm alright. The third doesn't treat me any differently, so I have hope that in joining an Alliance group I can meet people who understand a little more firmly that no matter the sexuality, it's not a choice. It's what you do about your sexuality that is the choice. What I want to know is if anyone has had experiences in trying to join or find groups? Link to post Share on other sites
Robotic Emu Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I was involved in the Gay-Straight Alliance at my community college last year. In my group, there was no pressure to "come out" as a specific orientation, but the allies usually made it clear that they were allies. I never really specified my orientation or made my gender issues clear, because I was still figuring it out. Anyways, some asexual-related topic came up in an opening exercise at a meeting, and most people in the group knew what asexuality was and considered it a valid orientation. I would try talking to your non-believing friends more and see if that helps them get it. I think that you should go to a meeting or two and see if the group is for you, and you will probably meet some awesome people if nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
The Great WTF Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 My experience has been a mixed bag. The Alphabet Soup group at my college has summarily dismissed asexuality as something that needs to be addressed by a doctor and, while they welcomed me as an ally, they refused to acknowledge asexuality. Needless to say, I didn't go back. Unfortunately, they seem to be an image of my local gay community as a whole. Very few seem to be openly accepting of asexuality, especially the younger members. On the other hand, I'm also a member of a gay car club. I'm their token female and token asexual, by their admittance, and if I recall one of their members may have been the first person to suggest that I might be asexual. (I joined them long before I found the word asexual.) The boys (figuratively speaking... I'm the youngest member by at least ten years.) are overwhelmingly accepting of me and of asexuality and I love them to bits for it. As an aside, my favorite response to the "don't know it til you've tried it" is to ask straight people "Well, how do you know you don't want to fuck someone of the same gender if you've never tried it?" and vice versa for gay people. I tend to say horse for the bi/pan community, just because it gets an amusing reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
belovedless Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I'm asexual, and last year I was the president of my college's queer/straight alliance. The year before that, I was the Communications Intern, and since I was questioning my a/sexuality at the time, I wanted to hold a meeting about it. I invited my friend who was asexual, and she was kind enough to come and add on to whatever I had to say about asexuality. Apparently she was surprised when I spoke about demisexuality. She didn't know I was questioning at the time and didn't think I would know so much. When I was president (and an out ace) we ended up talking about asexuality more. We had a few ace members too. This year we plan to continue that trend. I've found that the people in my QSA aren't not-accepting of asexuality so much as they don't understand, so I've kind of dedicated myself to education and visibility. In other words, I would say give your QSA a try! Link to post Share on other sites
Bero Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I haven't really ever been involved with my campus' Pride Alliance, but I've come to be very active with the LGBT center recently, thanks to another ace who started an asexual student group last year. There's not been a whole lot of interaction with the rest of the LGBT community on campus yet, but in the one meeting we had with them, the Pride officers seemed pretty supportive and interested in incorporating our identity into their events and discussions, etc. So my expeince has been pretty positive, though also limited. We'll see how things evolve, though. I think it's worth at least checking out your school's LGBT community, though, as that's a likely place to encounter other aces. (Really--I e-mailed our LGBT director right away my freshman year asking if I would have a place in the LGBT community on campus, and her response was that--though she had met some ace students before--there wasn't really anything currently they could offer me. Months later, however, she remembered my initial e-mail and was able to introduce me to another asexual student, and ever since, she's been working really hard to add us to the LGBT center's programing/events, doing counselor training/community outreach, etc. Even if there's nothing ace-related on campus now, just contacting the LGBTQ community at your school might well prove worth your while in the long run.) On a slightly related note, we actually talked about this in our last ace student meeting, whether it might be a good idea for someone on AVEN to try to organize a resource/list thread or something for universities/colleges that have ace-friendly LGBT groups or asexual student groups (or who are looking to create one), since there are so many high school and college students on here. Also: To me, that's like being told you should gargle spiders on the off chance you'll enjoy it. Can I borrow this metaphor? Link to post Share on other sites
JAKQ7111 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I have had nothing but positive experiences in my university's queer alliance. They are very accepting of asexuality as a legitimate identity, and encourage questioning of self/identity (That's how I started out in the group, questioning). There are other ace members of the alliance, but I am the most active voice for the ace community in the group as of my tenure with them. There is actually a position open on the board in my alliance this year that I want to run for. It is the Events Vice-Coordinator, which basically serves as an assistant to plan events that we do during the year. I have some big ideas for Asexual Awareness Week (passing out free cake/maybe some cheap black rings to the student body, an Asexuality 101 meeting in the alliance, more ideas to come), and perhaps a platonic mixer for Sweet Asexy Love Day in March. Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit crabbies Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 Thank you all for your advice and for sharing your experiences. I'll definitely be joining the Alliance group once school starts again. Asexy A-postle, feel free to use that metaphor! Link to post Share on other sites
Bero Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Thank you all for your advice and for sharing your experiences. I'll definitely be joining the Alliance group once school starts again. Asexy A-postle, feel free to use that metaphor! Actually, my username is Bero. Asexy A-postle is just my title, based on my post count. :P But thank you! And good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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