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Homoromantic / Asexy lesbian time!

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apparentlyalone

I have always known sex isn't for me, but thought I would grow into it as I have always been into chicks. Then I thought clearly I am lesbian but woah there is noway I am going to have sex with a chick. Then I realised I was asexual and that imediately turned the lesbian off inside of me. Now though, I consider myself an asexual lesbian - either a lesbian who doesn't want sex, or an asexual who likes females.


I have come out to my family and really close friends as homoramtic (it was easy to explain it to them as asexual lesbian at first but now they understand, I just say homoramntic) and I came out to some others as a lesbian - because after all, if I ever enter into a female relationship, I don't think it would be their business weather or not we have sex so the asexual side doesn't reallly count to them. There arestill people that I know that assume I am straight and I can't be bothered correcting them. And to other lesbians, I find it easiest to just purely tell them I am asexual (eliminating romanticism) - otherwise I get the annoying 'well you aren't a lesbian' or 'you haven't been with the right chick' slams. So I am a lot of orentations to a lot of people - it's freaking annoying!

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

I knew I wasn't wired for sexual attraction for years before finally identifying as asexual at 18. I'd always assumed that if you were asexual, you were also romantic, but when I began perusing AVEN, I found myself more open to the idea of falling in love...and realized that there had been exactly no other girls in my high school with whom I'd had chemistry. I had my first crush on a woman at 19, and by then I already knew I wasn't into dudes, and my gender is very boring (cisfemale and femme), so yeah, I'm homoromantic.

I'm not really sure how to identify when it comes to my attraction to non-binary people. I know I'm into women--as in, female-identified people, no matter what your chromosomes are and where you are on the butch/femme spectrum--but the only person who wasn't on the binary I've ever been into was female-bodied, genderqueer, and accepted use of female pronouns. I tend to stick to homoromantic now because my girlfriend and I are are really serious and not poly, so my attraction to the ladies is what matters/is obvious.

I also say "homoromantic asexual" most often because whenever I say "lesbian asexual", people ask "did you mean lesbian atheist?". *headdesk* I do, however, also call myself "lesbian asexual", "queer", and "asexy dyke".

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candicemon

I just wanted to drop in on this thread and say hey. I'm a homoromantic asexual, though in my day-to-day life I do identify as a lesbian for conveniences sake.

I first 'came out' as lesbian in high school. I had a good friend that I was quite cuddly with, and she and I held hands pretty frequently and honestly looked quite coupley to outside viewers. I can now identify that relationship as my very first platonic crush. :) It led to folks asking if I was a lesbian and, as I had no desire to date a dude, I thought that was the only label available to me.

Right now only a select few are aware of my asexual identity. I don't consider it to be anyone's business unless it directly effects our relationship.

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wolfpup

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valor

Hello ladies!

Adding my name to the pot. Not quite homoromantic (or romantic anything!), but I bond almost exclusively with femme individuals. So... gyne-appreciative might be a good label? Heck if I know. If I were going to settle down, it would be with another girl, and that's good enough for me. :P

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Xandra

Hello ladies!

Adding my name to the pot. Not quite homoromantic (or romantic anything!), but I bond almost exclusively with femme individuals. So... gyne-appreciative might be a good label? Heck if I know. If I were going to settle down, it would be with another girl, and that's good enough for me. :P

This is how I feel. All I know is that if I were going to be in a relationship with anyone, it would be a woman. I just don't bond with men in that way.

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KJ!

Are you asexual lesbian?
sort of? I typically identify as gay/lesbian (I used to loath the term lesbian after an akward class project in high school ancient history where a group working on a project made a whole bunch of dirty jokes about Lesbos, Greece, and it just turned me off o the term as a heteronormative homophobic and sexist punch line. Which drives me crazy, and clearly isn't what it really is, but, yeah.) For me though, asexual lesbian would be a simplification. I am, in all honestly, a demi-biromantic, grayA homosexual. I get aesthetic and romantic attractions on men sometimes but never sexual ones (as rare as they are for me) and have all of them for females from time to time.

How was it the process of discovering it? /Have you come out of the closet as any of both?

when i was first trying to figure out what my "deal" was, I first identified that I did not want to have sexual contact with men. cus gross. so it seemed like being gay was the only other option, even though I had romantic-y feelings for guys and girls. God that was a confusing time. O.o so I decied I must be gay. bc not liking guys sexually and liking girls generally clearly leaves no other options. after a few years I came out slowly to my friends and eventually my parents (who are awesome, I was just being anxious). and since then I keep my attractions to myself and don't date. about six months ago I was feeling particularly messed up about my lack of sexual attraction and when combined with an interest in polyamory, I stumbled across some awesome definitions and blogs and all of this. After a week or so of obsessing I came up with the above label. I have been somewhat open (though without calling it as such) about being into poly/relationship anarchism (such as loudly questioning the monogomous/sex based pair bond system of families) and most people know I am not interested in talking about sex or relationships. I am really only super honest about it on here and in a Queer NerdFighteria group on facebook where people are very open to the variety and complications of experience.

Are you yet not sure?
I'm still trying to figure all of it out, but I think I'm at least on a track that doesn't feel like it's overlooking anything right now. and that's nice.

(in case it wasn't obvious, I kind of enjoy narrating my experiences. le sigh.)

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Chayq

Super confusing because I realized I was into chicks before I realized I was also asexual. I knew I went gaga for girls but not in the same way other lesbians did and I couldn't wrap my head around it. It took me a couple years to realize I was a romantic asexual who's got a preference for ladies. Now the only obstacle left to tackle is finding someone out there who fits, which is proving to be super difficult.

I know how that feel's, I'm homoromantic myself and it's very hard to find someone that you can love and is the same as you!

Good luck!

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jeanne95

so yeah i'm still a bit confused about myself i'm not sure if i'm homoromantic but my first crush was my best friend a girl and i've always found the female body attractive and beautiful.

i just realized i forced myself to look at males and if i don't force it i just don't see them as something other than an obstacle D: that sounds mean but that's how it is.

anyway i'm more inclined towards girls, but i'm still not sure if i want to pursue a romantic relation with someone :/

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vegj

finally!i found this place! i had been worried that i was probably a lesbian since high school. one year ago, i found out asexual, and i instantly knew i'm lesbian asexual.

i prefer to be single,and will pathetically be alone all my life, living under the pressure of marriage push from parents. having a life partner is still a far-away dream.

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caffeine

I hope this doesn't count as necroposting - the thread is still relatively fresh, and I thought it would be better to bump it up than to clutter the forum with another one with the same purpose.

I'm finding it pretty hard to find people that I can discuss freely with issues of asexuality, especially since for some reason in the LGBT community around here sex is DA THING. It's everywhere and if by chance it's not present in one conversation or other, it inevitably gets smuggled in. So reviving the thread hoping that there are like-minded folks around who'd like to chat.

On topic, with the OP's questions:

I'm homoromantic, definitely. Probably have some bi-streak that rears its head now and then, but I think it's almost always a result of a sapioromantic tendency overriding my usual preference. I'm walking the path steadily - first had to come to the realization that only girls do it for me, then to the next one, that 'do it for me' has a different meaning in my case than that of most lesbians around me. Both realisations weren't a surprise ... but I'm having more issues incorporating the a(grey)sexual part in my life than with the homoromantic part.

Noth completely out of either closet yetb -mostly because I tend to think that this is personal stuff that only the concerned parties are interested in. Hence only my closest circle of friends and family know that I'm homoromantic (who else should care anyway?), and only one of my friends I can discuss asexuality with, without them going all "oh, you just need to relax and try to enjoy it" on me.

Now that last part is what I'm having trouble with. Anyone in a homoromantic relationship with sexual that has dealt with the issue of sex with their partner? I'd really love to hear how it went for you - I'm still not sure how to address the issue best.

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Lambda Corvus

I hope this doesn't count as necroposting - the thread is still relatively fresh, and I thought it would be better to bump it up than to clutter the forum with another one with the same purpose.

<...>

Just for clarification, your post wasn't a necropost. Given that the previous post before yours was on 11 October of this year, you are well within the 'acceptable repost time'. In general, reviving anything older than six months will be considered necromancy, depending on what the OP's original intent was. In short, don't worry, and good on you for adding to the discussion!

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Kanenas

Personally, I was positively surprised to see how most members of the Ace community seem to be accepting of LGBT. Acknowledging that the orientations are as natural as asexuality/romanticism are. I have also seen relatively little heteronormativity in our circles. This can be noticed with the most casual things, for example, not asking "Do you have a boyfriend?" but "Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" or "Do you have a partner?". I would call the asexual community much more considerate in that regard. And that makes me feel comfortable.

I identify as a lesbian because it means that I am naturally orientated towards women. Historically, it has obviously become a sexualized term... Calling yourself a lesbian means you are a homoromantic homosexual, a homoromantic asexual, an aromantic homosexual... Or, or, or, or, or. The LGBT community has great troubles grasping this. Remember, Sappho absolutely adored women with all their traits, loved their ways, their bodies. What she did with those bodies is not somebody else's business and this is how I view my own (lack of) sexuality. Everybody knows of my romantic orientation, but how, when or why something does happen or never happens... Is something I find to be a private matter.

Unfortunately, the LGBT community is as uneducated about asexuality as the heteronormative rest of society is. You will get the typical "Then you are not a lesbian/gay - Sex defines us (What the f...) - You just haven't found the right person yet - You must be sick, nobody can survive without having sex - Asexuality does not exist - You are a repressed heterosexual - You're a weirdo - You're so disgusting - I feel sorry for you - You will die alone - Nobody wants to be with you" and the likes. If you are part of the community; not only by not being hetero, but by participating and exchanging information and experiences with others, then this reaction is not at all surprising... De facto, it's rather familiar. Remember how they treat bis, polys and pans. Those 'elitist lesbians'... Funnily, most of them who are so cocky are far from being 'gold stars'! The pun was not even intended. And I am not sure they have a slight idea what aromanticism means, so that is a topic for another time. Or, say, lithromanticism/sexuality. I have always had the feeling and held the opinion that this term was heavily inspired by so called 'stone butch' lesbians (and their 'pillow queens').

Bottom line: You would think that someone who faces so much discrimination should be a tad more sensitive. More than once I was told I cannot be a lesbian if I don't feel sexual attraction. Those kind of people are immune to sense. Feeling more comfortable in the Ace community, so far.

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ShiningRayne

Bottom line: You would think that someone who faces so much discrimination should be a tad more sensitive. More than once I was told I cannot be a lesbian if I don't feel sexual attraction. Those kind of people are immune to sense. Feeling more comfortable in the Ace community, so far.

As one of my friends says "that would make too much sense." It's a shame. -_- Glad you're feeling more comfortable here though!

As for myself, I consider myself homoromantic. I'd rather spend the rest of my life with another woman. So... that's why I say that... Also as of this moment, I feel like I can be demisexual or gray-ace. I don't want to just say “demisexual” because I have a problem of believing that I should ALWAYS fit in the specified label box I put myself in... and if an exception were to come along, I'd go through another mini- identity crisis... and yet...

I figured out I was homoromantic first, but I really did feel odd. There were times where I felt like I had to “prove” I was a lesbian to my friends by saying this woman and that woman was “hot” but I never really thought of having sex with them... I now realize that I am very easily aesthetically pleased with how women look and how they feel (yay for softness~! :D)... not the same for men. I have only wanted to have sex with one of my female friends who I liked for a over year. But for some reason, that kind of attraction happened after she said “I don't want to ruin our friendship”. ._. So I still wonder about why those sexual thoughts happened AFTER the rejection. (I tend to over-analyze things, so...)

I've talked to some of my friends about asexuality and the whole sexual spectrum. Luckily for me, they're very open with different types of sexuality (or asexuality) and have been very comforting. I'd like to talk to my mother about this at some point... I guess I have already brought up the subject some time ago. I told her about how I feel odd for being someone in my early 20s not interested in sex or being sexual and how it would probably be a while before I'd want to become sexual with any romantic interest.

I came out to my mom as a lesbian last year (on April 1, and neither of us realized it was April Fools day until I brought it up... it was a good laugh though.) and most of my friends who I've seen consistently over the past few years know about it. But, my family does not know, or at least they haven't brought it up. I have a rainbow flag in my room and some of my nieces have seen it, not my brother or sister-in-law or anyone else though... I would like to come out to some other family members at the end of college (next semester is my last semester for undergrad), but who knows how life will turn out!

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Carsonspire

More than once I was told I cannot be a lesbian if I don't feel sexual attraction.

This is exactly one of the reasons I don't use the term lesbian for myself: it has such a sexual connotation.

I agree with much of your post, however be careful of overgeneralizing. Homophobia and transphobia exist in the ace community too, even if many people here tend to be more conscious of such things. I will never forget the ace who told me that I, as a queer poly sometimes genderqueer woman, am too queer for the ace community. We all come from different backgrounds and have different levels of experiences in the ace and LGBT communities. It's wonderful when everyone on all sides can celebrate our diversity together.

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caffeine

--double post--

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caffeine

De facto, it's rather familiar. Remember how they treat bis, polys and pans. Those 'elitist lesbians'... Funnily, most of them who are so cocky are far from being 'gold stars'!

(...)

Bottom line: You would think that someone who faces so much discrimination should be a tad more sensitive. More than once I was told I cannot be a lesbian if I don't feel sexual attraction. Those kind of people are immune to sense. Feeling more comfortable in the Ace community, so far.

Exactly! I recently had to read through a pretty lengthy rant from a person who identified as "radical lesbian" in another community - it was packed with so much androphobic, biphobic and heterophobic BS that I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to facepalm myself into unconsciousness. Still having a hard time accepting that someone who knows how it feels to be discriminated against can think and act that way.

The subject of asexuality has been discussed exactly once in my local community since I'm around and it was so off-base (and on some level dismissive) that I couldn't even bring myself to start to correct it. Apparently somewhere along the road in people's heads sexual desire merged with romantic attraction and now the majority can't even entertain the idea that they're not the same thing, nor should always be co-dependent. Ugh.

I figured out I was homoromantic first, but I really did feel odd. There were times where I felt like I had to “prove” I was a lesbian to my friends by saying this woman and that woman was “hot” but I never really thought of having sex with them... I now realize that I am very easily aesthetically pleased with how women look and how they feel (yay for softness~! :D)... not the same for men.

Story of my life. It's really quite a surprise to realise that no matter what you watch, read, think you want - your fantasy / desire only goes to the point of kissing. With anyone. Even with your biggest crushes, the one that probably grew into love.

And I agree on the term 'lesbian' - never liked it, most likely never will. Another thing that obviously makes me fail the 'gold star' exam - everyone (in the LGBT community) I have ever discussed this issue with has at some point tried to convince me that my dislike for the term stems from the fact that I "don't accept my sexuality". Go figure how to explain that I don't like the implied explicit sexual component that has come to be associated with the term :/

/end rant

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Rosemaryfromspace

Wow, I had the impression that asexual homoromantic females were so uncommon! It's nice to see there are others out there like me :)

I thought I was bisexual at first because of several crushes I had on girls... but it turned out that I am just a tiny bit attracted to men in a sexual way (thus gray ace) and have no desire to be sexual with girls.

However, something that confuses me is a handful of times when I have had a huge crush on a girl, I feel like there is something profound about her body, just for the face that it contains her essence. I feel like I want to be as close to her as possible, like I just be inside her or something, but that my body is preventing me from doing that... yeah it does not make a lot of sense to me either.

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belovedless

Kind of intruding, since I don't define as homoromantic anymore, but I thought to post just in case my story might be useful for some.

Are you asexual lesbian or better called homoromantic?

-No, but I once defined myself as first an asexual lesbian, followed up by a homoromantic asexual, before moving toward demi-bi-romantic asexual, and ending up as just asexual, no romantic identity because I no longer define the difference between romance and friendship.

How was it the process of discovering it? Did you find out first that you are homoromantic or lesbian -or insert here proper name- and then asexual?

-I was always very drawn to women, but not particularly sexually, although when I was young I had a small childlike curiosity about two women having sex. Then, when puberty hit, that all went under the bus, and I just wanted to get along with everyone. I pretended to like my "boyfriends" (I would hardly kiss anyone), and pined after all my girl best friends. I wanted to have my best friends closer, much closer than most thought "normal." I obsessed over them, writing journals together, spending all our time together. The main girl who I was so close to then has come out as a lesbian now (she and I are no longer close), but I felt off with the term. Was the love I felt for my friends a gay love or just a deep friendship love? I couldn't decide, but I began thinking that I might be gay. In college, I fell for another friend, but it was all friendship related; I just also wanted some physical intimacy (relatively chaste kisses, cuddles, hand-holding). I was denied them and very hurt, so I came out as a lesbian because I didn't want to be hurt while in a closet. I met with many girls and shared a few kisses but nothing ever clicked and I grew frightened as I realized they wanted to have sex with me! I had a series of girlfriends and had sex with them and then realized I was sex-averse. I came across the term asexual and identified with it. I started saying I was an asexual lesbian, but I grew uncomfortable with the term lesbian again because of all the sex attached to it. I began defining as homormantic. I stopped dating sexual people. I then entered into a long-distance relationship with an agender, gray-A male. We grew very close and I thought very little about his gender outside of the realm of comfortable ambiguity, but because he was biologically male, I thought I must be biromantic now, especially because I had felt intimately connected to other men in the past (just not romantically or sexually). After the end of that relationship, I realized that I could not be biromantic, because I was possibly not romantic at all! I just wanted deep, intimate, passionate friendships. And that is where I am now.

Are you yet not sure?

-Having a romantic identity was very hard for me, as I felt that people wanted me to fit into the lesbian or bisexual box exactly and then strip away sex, but I just couldn't do the whole romantic relationship thing well... I am happy where I am now.

Have you come out of the close as any of both?

-I am out as asexual to all my friends, my sister, and my mother. Everyone else thinks I'm a lesbian still.

However, something that confuses me is a handful of times when I have had a huge crush on a girl, I feel like there is something profound about her body, just for the face that it contains her essence. I feel like I want to be as close to her as possible, like I just be inside her or something, but that my body is preventing me from doing that... yeah it does not make a lot of sense to me either.

I'm not trying to say that you aren't a homoromantic asexual, but since you put this out there, I'm going to ask a few questions. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Have you ever had the legitimate we-are-both-in-bed-making-out-and-willing opportunity to? I'm asking because I've had a lot of experience with women who were very put-off by sex with another woman although they would develop huge crushes on them, only to discover that were very sexually attracted to woman but had just been extremely hestitant about it prior due to societal sexual expectations, anxiety about venturing into an unknown sexual sphere, and lack of experience. I do want to emphasize here that I am not questioning your ace identity; I'm just asking some clarifying questions!

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Rosemaryfromspace

Actually, no, I have never been in that situation to be honest, and I have considered what you just described. I think the problem might be my inability to identify which feelings of mine are truly sexual and which aren't, especially since I literally haven't done ANYTHING with anyone (man or woman) yet, not even 1st base. But I do think I might be bi-demisexual. The only thing is that I was attracted to one guy before; what I felt was, to me, undoubtebly sexual attraction, and it was a lot different than the way I feel for women.

Sometimes, I even feel like I might be a bit like you in that I think I want romance with a woman, but do I really? There's really no way to know for sure (I have never dated anyone either). Maybe, despite my sometimes intense feelings for people, I don't actually want to be in a romantic relationship. It's hard to seperate what's in my head and reality sometimes...

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OptimisticPessimist

.

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caffeine

If you don't feel any need to, why is it an issue?

(I'm sorry if it reads as in insensitive, it's not my intention - I'm genuinely interested, just can't think of shorter way to ask)

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LottieBk

I knew I was interested in girls over boys when I was around 12 and it took me until around the age of 15 to realise I was asexual (even if i didnt have a name for it) i came out as gay to all my family and friends. im not ashamed of being asexual and if people ask about my sex life i tell them the truth (about the lack of it uh), but i feel as though all they need to know is that i fall in love with women, my sex life is my own and isnt something i will just say in conversation unless prompted. Maybe thats just me? x

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Shaded

I identify as a homoromantic asexual, and have been out as a lesbian longer than I have as an asexual, and I am currently completely out to my family and friends. I tend to simply refer to myself as gay more than I do lesbian, but it's just because i'm more fond of the term gay, not because I strictly dislike 'lesbian'.

I definately realized I liked women before I was asexual. I think it was probably because I was sort of waiting for my hormones to kick in though for a little while, porbably until I was about 14, and I thought something was wrong with me.

I also came out as a lesbian first because I thought my family would understand it more, and as it turns out, they definately did understand it more. To this day they are still somehow confused with asexuality. In fact, it's often brought up and asked how I can be both a lesbian and asexual. <_<

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Ems

I've only recently come to understand that I am a homoromantic; basically I have always known I was attracted to women and I feel physically attracted to to the point that I can have sexual fantasies about them. However, when it comes to actually being physically intimate with someone it stops; I just don't like it and I clam up. This has been a frustrating thing for me and I have only recently started to come to terms with it, mainly because I have a better understanding of what my sexual orientation is and knowing there are others that feel the same way. That helps, a lot!

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OptimisticPessimist

If you don't feel any need to, why is it an issue?

(I'm sorry if it reads as in insensitive, it's not my intention - I'm genuinely interested, just can't think of shorter way to ask)

Sorry, you've lost me.

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caffeine

Intruding here- So i'm very confused at the moment, i think i like Women in the same way i like Guys. I'm certain i don't want to do it or feel any need to, i'm confused.

I was referring to the second sentence. You said you "don't want to do it or feel any need to". Although I'm not really sure whether by "it" you mean "to be attracted to women" or something else, generally, if you don't feel any need to act on it, why is it an issue, why is it confusing you?

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OptimisticPessimist
On Sunday, January 12, 2014 at 2:19 PM, caffeine said:
On Tuesday, January 07, 2014 at 0:33 AM, rainbowcolours said:

Intruding here- So i'm very confused at the moment, i think i like Women in the same way i like Guys. I'm certain i don't want to do it or feel any need to, i'm confused.

I was referring to the second sentence. You said you "don't want to do it or feel any need to". Although I'm not really sure whether by "it" you mean "to be attracted to women" or something else, generally, if you don't feel any need to act on it, why is it an issue, why is it confusing you?

.

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Lambda Corvus

Intruding here- So i'm very confused at the moment, i think i like Women in the same way i like Guys. I'm certain i don't want to do it or feel any need to, i'm confused.

I was referring to the second sentence. You said you "don't want to do it or feel any need to". Although I'm not really sure whether by "it" you mean "to be attracted to women" or something else, generally, if you don't feel any need to act on it, why is it an issue, why is it confusing you?

Oh right, sorry i meant that i don't feel any need to have intercourse, with a women or guy. Yet i think i like women in the same way as guys, i just don't want want to sleep with either. I hope that makes sense, i'm not great at explaining things.

It may help you to consider that romantic attraction is separate from sexual attraction. If you don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, then you may be asexual. From your profile, it seems you have already identified this. Can you feel the same things, romantically, for two genders? If yes, then you may be biromantic. Only you can decide this for yourself.

If you wish to explore this further, you may wish to make your own thread. That way, you can share your story in more depth, and receive replies specifically to your situation.

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